Sorry it has taken me so long to update.....I should just start naming all my stories that because it seems I've appologized in every chapter I've updated. Oh well I hope you enjoy this one....and if anyone is still reading it this story will only be continuing for a few more chapters....4 or 5 max because it's getting to be too much. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this and if anyone is actually still reading please drop me a review....i've been going through withdrawal without them. Thanks :D
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I rolled out of bed and noted with some satisfaction that all my roomates were still fast asleep. I'd been avoiding my friends the entire day before, and while I knew it wouldn't be long before one tracked me down for a confrontation, I wanted to avoid it for as long as possible. I threw on some clothes, and snuck out of my dorm before anyone could wake up, and quickly made my way down to the Great Hall. For one thing, I thought as I flopped down for an early breakfast, avoiding my friends gave me time to think.
I wasn't too sure why I was angry at Sirius. I knew I was jealous, but considering I hadn't given anyone an idea of my feelings towards Natalie, there was no reason to be angry with Sirius for getting there first.
I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. I had been sure that Natalie would return my feelings. All of her smiles, our private jokes, and the bond we shared over what we were, had led me to believe that the two of us could end up as more than friends. I snorted, unlikely. It was clear that she preffered Sirius, and why not? Practically everyone fell for my handsome and charismatic best friend, leaving me continually as the lone wolf.
I groaned again,"I'm so stupid,"I muttered.
"No you're not."
Startled, I looked up to find Lily Evans across the table from me, green eyes full of concern.
"Remus what's wrong with you lately?James was in quite a huff yesterday about you ditching him, and Sirius got quite the lost puppy dog look to him whenever you brushed him off. Is everything all right?"
I diverted my gaze to the now fixed Slytherin banner and proclaimed,"I'm perfectly fine, just wanted some time to myself that's all."
"That's not all, and if you think I'm going to fall for that lame excuse Remus Lupin, then you know very little about me,"she replied.
I glanced back at her and sighed, knowing very well this interrogation would continue until Lily was satisfied with the truth. How James ever kept anything from her I'll never know.
"All right Lil, I suppose you won't leave me in peace until I spill it,"she grinned and nodded,"but under no circumstances do you tell anyone, especially Jamie. Got it?"
"Of course, I can keep secrets perfectly well, even if James can't keep one from me,"she smirked.
I rolled my eyes because it was all too true. Then I took a moment to wonder exactly how I was going to tell her everything I'd been feeling.
"You like someone don't you?"Lily's voice interupted my thoughts and I stared at her for a moment. She laughed,"Oh Remus, it's perfectly obvious."
My cheeks flushed first with embarassement and then with anger over the fact that I was blushing.
"Oh really?"I growled,"And I suppose you all know then."
Lily raised her eyebrows,"That lot?They're boys Remus, and are completely oblivious to everything." I opened my mouth to protest this statement, but Lily wasn't finished. "So is this why you've been giving them the slip?Have you been secretly sneaking off to meet this girl?"she asked.
I smiled wryly thinking back to the Shreiking Shack a month before,"Only once, and it wasn't at all what anyone would refer to as romantic."
Lily glanced over as a few more students trickled into the hall for an early breakfast, and pursed her lips in concentration.
"So...."Lily paused,"So what house is she in?"
I watched as Lily took great interest in a Ravenclaw fifth year I'd been watching as she spilled juice all over herself, and rolled my eyes.
"She's in Gryffyindor,"I replied.
Her eyes lit up and she bit her lip while obviously trying to determine who I had my eyes on.
"So you like a girl in Gryffyindor and slipped away to meet with her yesterday..."she trailed off and turned to stare at several fourth year Gryffyindors who came in and sat at the other end of the house table.
"I didn't say I met with her yesterday Lil,"I sighed.
"Well then why were you avoiding us all yesterday?"she asked.
"You could say I was jealous I guess,"I muttered.
"Jealous of....oh!"she gasped and blushed a bright pink.
I sighed, glad in a way that she'd finally figured it out. Lily was the level headed one, and if I trusted anyones advice, it was hers.
"Well, Remus I....I don't know what to say,"she stammered and I looked up confused.
"Well I mean to say I'm flattered, but Jamie and I are together and,"she was speaking very quickly and I blinked. She didn't think.....
"And well, you're a wonderful person Remus and if things were different maybe I'd like you enough to go out with you and.....what's so funny?"she demanded.
I caught my breath but grinned,"Oh Lil, I'm sorry but I didn't mean you,"I said, trying not to laugh.
She stared,"But then who....oh."
I stopped smiling and shrugged. She reached forward to grasp my hand,"Natalie then?"I nodded,"Oh Remus I'm sorry."
"What for?It's not like you set them up, and Sirius never knew that I liked her,"I snatched my hand away and avoided eye contact,"So what's there to be sorry about?"
Her green eyes were once more full of sympathy,"I'm sorry that their happiness hurts you."
The doors opened again and in trouped our friends. Sirius flopped down next to me with Natalie across from him, James next to Lily, and Peter on my other side.
"Morning Re, how you feeling today?"Sirius asked a little warily and I shrugged. From what I could see Natalie wasn't feeling too well, and I sympathised. The day of the full moon was never pleasant.
I turned to discuss homework with Peter and tried to ignore the happy couple sitting next to me, but everytime one of them laughed at something the other said, or when they held hands, I felt a pang of jealousy in my chest. I excused myself as politely as I could and retreated to the library, where I hid all day to avoid my two favorite people, who were unknowingly making my life miserable.
~~~~
I rolled out of bed and noted with some satisfaction that all my roomates were still fast asleep. I'd been avoiding my friends the entire day before, and while I knew it wouldn't be long before one tracked me down for a confrontation, I wanted to avoid it for as long as possible. I threw on some clothes, and snuck out of my dorm before anyone could wake up, and quickly made my way down to the Great Hall. For one thing, I thought as I flopped down for an early breakfast, avoiding my friends gave me time to think.
I wasn't too sure why I was angry at Sirius. I knew I was jealous, but considering I hadn't given anyone an idea of my feelings towards Natalie, there was no reason to be angry with Sirius for getting there first.
I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. I had been sure that Natalie would return my feelings. All of her smiles, our private jokes, and the bond we shared over what we were, had led me to believe that the two of us could end up as more than friends. I snorted, unlikely. It was clear that she preffered Sirius, and why not? Practically everyone fell for my handsome and charismatic best friend, leaving me continually as the lone wolf.
I groaned again,"I'm so stupid,"I muttered.
"No you're not."
Startled, I looked up to find Lily Evans across the table from me, green eyes full of concern.
"Remus what's wrong with you lately?James was in quite a huff yesterday about you ditching him, and Sirius got quite the lost puppy dog look to him whenever you brushed him off. Is everything all right?"
I diverted my gaze to the now fixed Slytherin banner and proclaimed,"I'm perfectly fine, just wanted some time to myself that's all."
"That's not all, and if you think I'm going to fall for that lame excuse Remus Lupin, then you know very little about me,"she replied.
I glanced back at her and sighed, knowing very well this interrogation would continue until Lily was satisfied with the truth. How James ever kept anything from her I'll never know.
"All right Lil, I suppose you won't leave me in peace until I spill it,"she grinned and nodded,"but under no circumstances do you tell anyone, especially Jamie. Got it?"
"Of course, I can keep secrets perfectly well, even if James can't keep one from me,"she smirked.
I rolled my eyes because it was all too true. Then I took a moment to wonder exactly how I was going to tell her everything I'd been feeling.
"You like someone don't you?"Lily's voice interupted my thoughts and I stared at her for a moment. She laughed,"Oh Remus, it's perfectly obvious."
My cheeks flushed first with embarassement and then with anger over the fact that I was blushing.
"Oh really?"I growled,"And I suppose you all know then."
Lily raised her eyebrows,"That lot?They're boys Remus, and are completely oblivious to everything." I opened my mouth to protest this statement, but Lily wasn't finished. "So is this why you've been giving them the slip?Have you been secretly sneaking off to meet this girl?"she asked.
I smiled wryly thinking back to the Shreiking Shack a month before,"Only once, and it wasn't at all what anyone would refer to as romantic."
Lily glanced over as a few more students trickled into the hall for an early breakfast, and pursed her lips in concentration.
"So...."Lily paused,"So what house is she in?"
I watched as Lily took great interest in a Ravenclaw fifth year I'd been watching as she spilled juice all over herself, and rolled my eyes.
"She's in Gryffyindor,"I replied.
Her eyes lit up and she bit her lip while obviously trying to determine who I had my eyes on.
"So you like a girl in Gryffyindor and slipped away to meet with her yesterday..."she trailed off and turned to stare at several fourth year Gryffyindors who came in and sat at the other end of the house table.
"I didn't say I met with her yesterday Lil,"I sighed.
"Well then why were you avoiding us all yesterday?"she asked.
"You could say I was jealous I guess,"I muttered.
"Jealous of....oh!"she gasped and blushed a bright pink.
I sighed, glad in a way that she'd finally figured it out. Lily was the level headed one, and if I trusted anyones advice, it was hers.
"Well, Remus I....I don't know what to say,"she stammered and I looked up confused.
"Well I mean to say I'm flattered, but Jamie and I are together and,"she was speaking very quickly and I blinked. She didn't think.....
"And well, you're a wonderful person Remus and if things were different maybe I'd like you enough to go out with you and.....what's so funny?"she demanded.
I caught my breath but grinned,"Oh Lil, I'm sorry but I didn't mean you,"I said, trying not to laugh.
She stared,"But then who....oh."
I stopped smiling and shrugged. She reached forward to grasp my hand,"Natalie then?"I nodded,"Oh Remus I'm sorry."
"What for?It's not like you set them up, and Sirius never knew that I liked her,"I snatched my hand away and avoided eye contact,"So what's there to be sorry about?"
Her green eyes were once more full of sympathy,"I'm sorry that their happiness hurts you."
The doors opened again and in trouped our friends. Sirius flopped down next to me with Natalie across from him, James next to Lily, and Peter on my other side.
"Morning Re, how you feeling today?"Sirius asked a little warily and I shrugged. From what I could see Natalie wasn't feeling too well, and I sympathised. The day of the full moon was never pleasant.
I turned to discuss homework with Peter and tried to ignore the happy couple sitting next to me, but everytime one of them laughed at something the other said, or when they held hands, I felt a pang of jealousy in my chest. I excused myself as politely as I could and retreated to the library, where I hid all day to avoid my two favorite people, who were unknowingly making my life miserable.