When the car lurches into motion, I am jarred from my sleep. For a moment
I'm disoriented. I don't know where I am. Then I remember that I'm in an
elevator. But it's moving now. How long was I out? I groggily stand up
and wait for the movement to stop.
It reaches the bottom floor and the doors slide open. Skids stands on the other side with Tabitha and Allen. Allen was looking quite satisfied with himself and Tabitha looks rather annoyed.
"Torres, this is the second time that the elevator has broken with you in it!" Tabitha says. "I should be charging you for the repairs."
"You think it's my fault this damn thing keeps breaking down?" I demand. I could say more, but then Skids is at my side, gently tugging me towards the door of the building.
"Your car's here, so I'll drive." Skids informs me. "Where are your keys?"
"Left pocket," I say. He fishes through it and pulls them out. We get to my car and he carefully gets me into it. Once he's in the car we drive to the hospital. We drive in silence for a while until Skids begins talking.
"Cy, I don't want you ever beating yourself up like that again," he says. "It's not good and you get really hurt."
"If it makes you feel better, I don't really enjoy it either." I reply.
Skids frowns. "Why did you do it?"
I don't really know how to answer. How do you tell someone that physical pain is easier to deal with than mental anguish?
"Cya?" I look over to him. "Why?"
I drop my head and confess to my knees. "It was easier for me to hurt myself like that than to let myself think about how much happier you'd be with Harley."
"Did it hurt you that much?" Skids asks.
"How much does it hurt knowing Harley is in love with Mik?" I return.
"I'm sorry, Cya. I didn't know." He mumbles.
"Did you mean what you said earlier? About loving me?" I ask tentatively, looking back up at him.
"Yeah." He says, even quieter than before.
"What about Harley?"
"My love for him has never been as much as it has been for you."
"If Harley were to become available would you drop me?" I had to ask.
Skids looks almost appalled. "No! Of course not."
"How can I believe you? Just telling me you love him hurt. If you actually were to be with him, it would destroy me," I tell him.
"But you're the hetero one. Would you ever leave me for a chick?" He shoots back.
This gives me pause. Well.no.but why should he believe me? I answer anyway though. "No. I wouldn't."
"If you expect me to trust you, then you have to be willing to do the same for me." He says.
"Fair enough," I admit. "So let's just trust each other."
Skids nods as we pull into the emergency room parking lot. Skids parks and we head into the lobby. I give the nurse at the desk my name and I get stuck on a waiting list. I don't wait for too long and I'm called into a room. The doctor goes about fixing my shoulder and puts it into a sling; she gives my hand a few stitches and bandages it. When I exit, I see Skids has finished filling out my paperwork for me. We head back to my car.
"Where to now?" Skids asks.
"I seem to remember offering you ice cream," I smile.
Skids' eyes light up and a smile brightens his face. "Can we still get some?"
I laugh. "Of course."
Skids steers us to the ice cream parlor and we head to the counter. Skids always takes forever choosing ice cream, so we're standing there for a while before he decides on a scoop of cookie dough, a scoop of maple nut, and a scoop of orange sherbet in a cup. I get Mackinac Island Fudge in a cup. We pick out a booth and sit down to eat.
By now I'm feeling the pain in my hand again. I try to ignore it while I take a few bites of ice cream. Skids puts something onto the table in front of me. I look up at it and see he's put my pain pills by my cup. I smile my thanks to him and swallow both of them with a spoonful of ice cream.
"Cy, if you'd like, you could come over to my place for a while so you don't have to face your mom right away," Skids offers.
I think about this. He has a good point. Mom would totally flip out if she saw me walk in with an arm in a sling and the opposite hand wrapped up. "Sure. That would be shibby."
Skids smiles at me. He spoons the last of his ice cream into his mouth and pushes his cup away. "That was really good. Thanks, Cya."
"You're welcome," I respond. I look into my own cup. There's still about half of it left, but I can't seem to bring myself to finishing the rest of it. I look back up at him. "Shall we go?"
"Sure!" He chirps. He hops up and disposes our trash. By the time he gets back from the garbage can, I've just gotten up and we move to the door.
Our ride to the dorm passes in silence. When we arrive, we go up to his room. I earn quite a few stares from the passing students. I guess they've never seen a victim of an elevator attack before. I ignore them and just follow Skids as he leads me to his room. When we get into the room I ask if I can borrow Skids' phone to let my mom know I wasn't coming home yet.
"Hello!"
"Tere? Where's mom?" I ask her.
"She's not on the phone, silly."
"I know that. Can you get her on the phone?"
"Hm..maybe."
"Please?" I grind out. Why does she have to be so difficult?
"Okay! Mom!!! Here she comes, Cya! Bye!" There's some shuffling before Mom speaks.
"Hijo? Where are you?"
"I'm at Skids'. Is it okay if I crash here for the night?"
"You're going to leave me alone with your sisters for a whole night? I don't think I'll survive!" She laughs.
"Mama." I groan. "You've dealt with them before. If I come home I'll just be in my room all night anyway."
"Hm.you have a point. Of course you can stay at your friend's. Have fun."
"Bye, Mama." I hang up the phone. Skids is sitting on the bed looking at me. "So.what now?"
"Would you like to borrow some clothes to change into?" He asks.
I look down at myself. I'm still in my dress clothes from the ceremony. And my shirt's torn at the shoulder and bloody around the cuff. "Yeah. That would be good."
Skids gets up and roots through his closet. He turns around with a pair of flannel pajama pants and a wife-beater. "I don't know if you want to bother with a shirt or not since your arm is in that sling."
I ponder this a moment. "Yeah, I'll take it. It shouldn't be that hard to get into."
He hands me the clothes. I put them by my feet so that I can remove my dress clothes. God damn it. Why does undressing have to be so difficult? I struggle with random buttons for a moment before I give up for a second.
"Want some help?" Skids asks. I look up at him. He's already changed into a pair of pajama pants and quite a threadbare undershirt. He looks gorgeous. I catch myself staring and look back down at the buttons that have defeated me.
"Sure." I sigh.
Skids comes up to me and reaches to undo the buttons of my shirt. He eases it gently off of my good shoulder and lets it fall for a moment while he carefully maneuvers it over and around my sling. He lets it drop to the floor. He picks up the wife-beater and pulls it over my head, easing my arm through the large armhole. He's so close right now. So close I could kiss him.
He finishes pulling the shirt down and looks up at me without moving away. He's so close. He smells like apples and vanilla. I wonder if he tastes the same. He's so close. Neither of us moves and we stand there looking into each others' eyes for what seems to be an eternity. He's so close. I feel Skids' hands on my sides, still there from pulling the shirt on. They're moving in slow, gentle circles, sending chills up my spine. I tremble slightly and I allow myself to just feel.
His hands move from my sides around to my back. He's even closer now. So, so close. My breath catches and my heart is pounding so hard I almost think he can hear it. My bandaged hand comes up to slowly caress his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into my touch. He's so close. I lean in closer to him. My eyes close as I tilt my head to capture his lips.
His lips are soft and offer no resistance as I lightly press my lips to his. His hands still their movement on my back, instead he holds me close to him. I make to move away and break the kiss while I know I still can. He doesn't let me, though. One of his hands moves further up my back to tangle in my hair, which for once is not spiked like I normally wear it. His other hand rests on the small of my back, holding me still. His grasp is gentle, yet strong, like velvet-lined steel. There is no way I'm getting out of this. Not that I want to, mind you.
He uses my hair as a leash and pulls my head back a little. When this happens my mouth opens a bit in surprise, and Skids uses this to his advantage. His fingers are massaging my scalp while he tentatively flicks his tongue between my lips. I can't help myself, and a small moan escapes my throat. Skids becomes more insistent, pressing further into my mouth. The hand that is resting on my back is in motion again, this time moving around my body and up to gently smooth over the planes of my chest. All the while he is making little contented noises in the back of his throat. Oh, Dios mio. Those little noises are making the butterflies in my stomach try to escape.
My brain has permanently stopped thinking, but my tongue finally responds to his. I begin to gently massage his tongue with mine, and they continue to dance while the sensations overwhelm me. His scent is intoxicating and he tastes like maple nut ice cream. I want to do this forever. I hope he will let me.
I feel myself getting light-headed, and I realize that I have forgotten to breathe. I pull away, gasping for air. When I return to my senses, I see Skids smiling at me. Returning the smile, I kiss him again, lightly and then nuzzle his neck. He sighs and drops his hand from my hair to rest on my back. He tightens his hold, and we stand like that momentarily. All too soon, he pulls away.
"I believe we still need to finish changing your clothes," he says with a shy grin.
I had totally forgotten about my current state of dress. "I guess so." Then I realize that he has to take off my pants. My cheeks flush at the thought of Skids removing my pants. Oh. My. God.
"Cya? Are you okay?" Skids asks.
I gulp. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Uh.let's get this done."
"Okay." Skids moves his hands down to the waist of my pants and hurriedly unbuttons them. He slides the zipper down and eases them past my hips. A shiver runs through my body, but I do my best to suppress it. I step out of them and he tosses them next to my discarded shirt. He then helps me step into the pajama pants and pulls them carefully up my legs. Once up, his hands linger at my hips a moment before he drops them to his sides. Okay. I had to distract him, and myself, before I throw him to the ground and shag him senseless.
"Hey, Skids," I say, keeping the residual tremble from my voice. "Want to watch some Buffy?"
"That would be shibby!" Skids grins. He goes to the television and VCR and digs out a videotape. He pushes it into the tape slot and grabs the remote before going to his bed. He lays down and scoots to one side. I lay down next to him, on my right side so as not to jar my shoulder.
As the theme music begins, Skids closes the space between us and softly rests a hand on my hip.
It reaches the bottom floor and the doors slide open. Skids stands on the other side with Tabitha and Allen. Allen was looking quite satisfied with himself and Tabitha looks rather annoyed.
"Torres, this is the second time that the elevator has broken with you in it!" Tabitha says. "I should be charging you for the repairs."
"You think it's my fault this damn thing keeps breaking down?" I demand. I could say more, but then Skids is at my side, gently tugging me towards the door of the building.
"Your car's here, so I'll drive." Skids informs me. "Where are your keys?"
"Left pocket," I say. He fishes through it and pulls them out. We get to my car and he carefully gets me into it. Once he's in the car we drive to the hospital. We drive in silence for a while until Skids begins talking.
"Cy, I don't want you ever beating yourself up like that again," he says. "It's not good and you get really hurt."
"If it makes you feel better, I don't really enjoy it either." I reply.
Skids frowns. "Why did you do it?"
I don't really know how to answer. How do you tell someone that physical pain is easier to deal with than mental anguish?
"Cya?" I look over to him. "Why?"
I drop my head and confess to my knees. "It was easier for me to hurt myself like that than to let myself think about how much happier you'd be with Harley."
"Did it hurt you that much?" Skids asks.
"How much does it hurt knowing Harley is in love with Mik?" I return.
"I'm sorry, Cya. I didn't know." He mumbles.
"Did you mean what you said earlier? About loving me?" I ask tentatively, looking back up at him.
"Yeah." He says, even quieter than before.
"What about Harley?"
"My love for him has never been as much as it has been for you."
"If Harley were to become available would you drop me?" I had to ask.
Skids looks almost appalled. "No! Of course not."
"How can I believe you? Just telling me you love him hurt. If you actually were to be with him, it would destroy me," I tell him.
"But you're the hetero one. Would you ever leave me for a chick?" He shoots back.
This gives me pause. Well.no.but why should he believe me? I answer anyway though. "No. I wouldn't."
"If you expect me to trust you, then you have to be willing to do the same for me." He says.
"Fair enough," I admit. "So let's just trust each other."
Skids nods as we pull into the emergency room parking lot. Skids parks and we head into the lobby. I give the nurse at the desk my name and I get stuck on a waiting list. I don't wait for too long and I'm called into a room. The doctor goes about fixing my shoulder and puts it into a sling; she gives my hand a few stitches and bandages it. When I exit, I see Skids has finished filling out my paperwork for me. We head back to my car.
"Where to now?" Skids asks.
"I seem to remember offering you ice cream," I smile.
Skids' eyes light up and a smile brightens his face. "Can we still get some?"
I laugh. "Of course."
Skids steers us to the ice cream parlor and we head to the counter. Skids always takes forever choosing ice cream, so we're standing there for a while before he decides on a scoop of cookie dough, a scoop of maple nut, and a scoop of orange sherbet in a cup. I get Mackinac Island Fudge in a cup. We pick out a booth and sit down to eat.
By now I'm feeling the pain in my hand again. I try to ignore it while I take a few bites of ice cream. Skids puts something onto the table in front of me. I look up at it and see he's put my pain pills by my cup. I smile my thanks to him and swallow both of them with a spoonful of ice cream.
"Cy, if you'd like, you could come over to my place for a while so you don't have to face your mom right away," Skids offers.
I think about this. He has a good point. Mom would totally flip out if she saw me walk in with an arm in a sling and the opposite hand wrapped up. "Sure. That would be shibby."
Skids smiles at me. He spoons the last of his ice cream into his mouth and pushes his cup away. "That was really good. Thanks, Cya."
"You're welcome," I respond. I look into my own cup. There's still about half of it left, but I can't seem to bring myself to finishing the rest of it. I look back up at him. "Shall we go?"
"Sure!" He chirps. He hops up and disposes our trash. By the time he gets back from the garbage can, I've just gotten up and we move to the door.
Our ride to the dorm passes in silence. When we arrive, we go up to his room. I earn quite a few stares from the passing students. I guess they've never seen a victim of an elevator attack before. I ignore them and just follow Skids as he leads me to his room. When we get into the room I ask if I can borrow Skids' phone to let my mom know I wasn't coming home yet.
"Hello!"
"Tere? Where's mom?" I ask her.
"She's not on the phone, silly."
"I know that. Can you get her on the phone?"
"Hm..maybe."
"Please?" I grind out. Why does she have to be so difficult?
"Okay! Mom!!! Here she comes, Cya! Bye!" There's some shuffling before Mom speaks.
"Hijo? Where are you?"
"I'm at Skids'. Is it okay if I crash here for the night?"
"You're going to leave me alone with your sisters for a whole night? I don't think I'll survive!" She laughs.
"Mama." I groan. "You've dealt with them before. If I come home I'll just be in my room all night anyway."
"Hm.you have a point. Of course you can stay at your friend's. Have fun."
"Bye, Mama." I hang up the phone. Skids is sitting on the bed looking at me. "So.what now?"
"Would you like to borrow some clothes to change into?" He asks.
I look down at myself. I'm still in my dress clothes from the ceremony. And my shirt's torn at the shoulder and bloody around the cuff. "Yeah. That would be good."
Skids gets up and roots through his closet. He turns around with a pair of flannel pajama pants and a wife-beater. "I don't know if you want to bother with a shirt or not since your arm is in that sling."
I ponder this a moment. "Yeah, I'll take it. It shouldn't be that hard to get into."
He hands me the clothes. I put them by my feet so that I can remove my dress clothes. God damn it. Why does undressing have to be so difficult? I struggle with random buttons for a moment before I give up for a second.
"Want some help?" Skids asks. I look up at him. He's already changed into a pair of pajama pants and quite a threadbare undershirt. He looks gorgeous. I catch myself staring and look back down at the buttons that have defeated me.
"Sure." I sigh.
Skids comes up to me and reaches to undo the buttons of my shirt. He eases it gently off of my good shoulder and lets it fall for a moment while he carefully maneuvers it over and around my sling. He lets it drop to the floor. He picks up the wife-beater and pulls it over my head, easing my arm through the large armhole. He's so close right now. So close I could kiss him.
He finishes pulling the shirt down and looks up at me without moving away. He's so close. He smells like apples and vanilla. I wonder if he tastes the same. He's so close. Neither of us moves and we stand there looking into each others' eyes for what seems to be an eternity. He's so close. I feel Skids' hands on my sides, still there from pulling the shirt on. They're moving in slow, gentle circles, sending chills up my spine. I tremble slightly and I allow myself to just feel.
His hands move from my sides around to my back. He's even closer now. So, so close. My breath catches and my heart is pounding so hard I almost think he can hear it. My bandaged hand comes up to slowly caress his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into my touch. He's so close. I lean in closer to him. My eyes close as I tilt my head to capture his lips.
His lips are soft and offer no resistance as I lightly press my lips to his. His hands still their movement on my back, instead he holds me close to him. I make to move away and break the kiss while I know I still can. He doesn't let me, though. One of his hands moves further up my back to tangle in my hair, which for once is not spiked like I normally wear it. His other hand rests on the small of my back, holding me still. His grasp is gentle, yet strong, like velvet-lined steel. There is no way I'm getting out of this. Not that I want to, mind you.
He uses my hair as a leash and pulls my head back a little. When this happens my mouth opens a bit in surprise, and Skids uses this to his advantage. His fingers are massaging my scalp while he tentatively flicks his tongue between my lips. I can't help myself, and a small moan escapes my throat. Skids becomes more insistent, pressing further into my mouth. The hand that is resting on my back is in motion again, this time moving around my body and up to gently smooth over the planes of my chest. All the while he is making little contented noises in the back of his throat. Oh, Dios mio. Those little noises are making the butterflies in my stomach try to escape.
My brain has permanently stopped thinking, but my tongue finally responds to his. I begin to gently massage his tongue with mine, and they continue to dance while the sensations overwhelm me. His scent is intoxicating and he tastes like maple nut ice cream. I want to do this forever. I hope he will let me.
I feel myself getting light-headed, and I realize that I have forgotten to breathe. I pull away, gasping for air. When I return to my senses, I see Skids smiling at me. Returning the smile, I kiss him again, lightly and then nuzzle his neck. He sighs and drops his hand from my hair to rest on my back. He tightens his hold, and we stand like that momentarily. All too soon, he pulls away.
"I believe we still need to finish changing your clothes," he says with a shy grin.
I had totally forgotten about my current state of dress. "I guess so." Then I realize that he has to take off my pants. My cheeks flush at the thought of Skids removing my pants. Oh. My. God.
"Cya? Are you okay?" Skids asks.
I gulp. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Uh.let's get this done."
"Okay." Skids moves his hands down to the waist of my pants and hurriedly unbuttons them. He slides the zipper down and eases them past my hips. A shiver runs through my body, but I do my best to suppress it. I step out of them and he tosses them next to my discarded shirt. He then helps me step into the pajama pants and pulls them carefully up my legs. Once up, his hands linger at my hips a moment before he drops them to his sides. Okay. I had to distract him, and myself, before I throw him to the ground and shag him senseless.
"Hey, Skids," I say, keeping the residual tremble from my voice. "Want to watch some Buffy?"
"That would be shibby!" Skids grins. He goes to the television and VCR and digs out a videotape. He pushes it into the tape slot and grabs the remote before going to his bed. He lays down and scoots to one side. I lay down next to him, on my right side so as not to jar my shoulder.
As the theme music begins, Skids closes the space between us and softly rests a hand on my hip.