TALES FROM THE PORTABLE CONFESSIONAL
THIRD CONFESSION: Fear Martha
"Nicholas D. Wolfwood." A quiet voice drawled.
The aforementioned man mentally cursed, wondering why Legato always felt the need to call him by his full name and just what the hell he wanted now? Wolfwood had not been having a good week, what with the confession from Vash and barely surviving the Thomson family, and some how he doubted Legato Bluesummers was going to make his mood any better.
"Yes, Sir?" Wolfwood forced out. He wasn't quite sure why he was supposed to refer to Legato as a superior. he wasn't even technically a Gung-Ho Gun yet and therefor the blue-haired psychopath wasn't technically his boss, but somehow he didn't like the idea of arguing with someone who could make you do anything their twisted little black heart desired. Even if it was something as horrible as watching Martha Stuart.
"I require the use of your . portable confessional." The telepath explained slothfully, frowning slightly as he spoke.
Wolfwood was shocked. Surely, Legato, as leader of the Gung-Ho Guns, had thoughtlessly killed hundreds. thousands. maybe even millions? What could he do that was so horrible that he would need to confess for? The priest mentally shrugged, hopefully whatever it was would be good blackmail material.
He whipped the small church out of seemingly nowhere, something that was becoming a habit for him, and gave it to Legato, "You just put it on your head."
Legato didn't look too pleased with the idea of sporting a new church- headdress, but he didn't say anything, just did as he was told and began to speak in his sedate voice, "Yesterday I did the unthinkable."
.
Silence followed.
.
"Yeah. what'd ya do?" Wolfwood asked, taking probably anyone's only opportunity to flip Legato the bird while he was unaware.
"I saw that, and I hope you enjoy Martha as much as I do." The telepath responded to the rude hand gesture, but then continued, ". I. moved my hair out of my face. .. And then I. I looked out of my other eye!" Legato hissed in a disgusted tone.
Wolfwood suppressed the urge to scream profanities at Legato's lame confession for fear of more Martha Stewart than he could handle and simply stated, "You're forgiven." Grabbed his confessional off of Legato's head and ran out of the room like a bat out of hell.
AN: Ok, I think the whole Martha Stewart thing is funny by itself, but if you really want to know more of the inside joke you have to read the first incident on my other fic Things You Never Knew. I'd like to thank all of my reviewers! I'm very happy you all reviewed, even though some people still aren't and I'd like to point out again that I know you read my fic and don't review, even if you think it's crap! I'd especially like to thank Apples for suggesting Legato next. I was rather lost on what to do next, and as you can see in my other stories he's easy for me to make fun of. even if he is my favorite character. Well. R 'n' R.
THIRD CONFESSION: Fear Martha
"Nicholas D. Wolfwood." A quiet voice drawled.
The aforementioned man mentally cursed, wondering why Legato always felt the need to call him by his full name and just what the hell he wanted now? Wolfwood had not been having a good week, what with the confession from Vash and barely surviving the Thomson family, and some how he doubted Legato Bluesummers was going to make his mood any better.
"Yes, Sir?" Wolfwood forced out. He wasn't quite sure why he was supposed to refer to Legato as a superior. he wasn't even technically a Gung-Ho Gun yet and therefor the blue-haired psychopath wasn't technically his boss, but somehow he didn't like the idea of arguing with someone who could make you do anything their twisted little black heart desired. Even if it was something as horrible as watching Martha Stuart.
"I require the use of your . portable confessional." The telepath explained slothfully, frowning slightly as he spoke.
Wolfwood was shocked. Surely, Legato, as leader of the Gung-Ho Guns, had thoughtlessly killed hundreds. thousands. maybe even millions? What could he do that was so horrible that he would need to confess for? The priest mentally shrugged, hopefully whatever it was would be good blackmail material.
He whipped the small church out of seemingly nowhere, something that was becoming a habit for him, and gave it to Legato, "You just put it on your head."
Legato didn't look too pleased with the idea of sporting a new church- headdress, but he didn't say anything, just did as he was told and began to speak in his sedate voice, "Yesterday I did the unthinkable."
.
Silence followed.
.
"Yeah. what'd ya do?" Wolfwood asked, taking probably anyone's only opportunity to flip Legato the bird while he was unaware.
"I saw that, and I hope you enjoy Martha as much as I do." The telepath responded to the rude hand gesture, but then continued, ". I. moved my hair out of my face. .. And then I. I looked out of my other eye!" Legato hissed in a disgusted tone.
Wolfwood suppressed the urge to scream profanities at Legato's lame confession for fear of more Martha Stewart than he could handle and simply stated, "You're forgiven." Grabbed his confessional off of Legato's head and ran out of the room like a bat out of hell.
AN: Ok, I think the whole Martha Stewart thing is funny by itself, but if you really want to know more of the inside joke you have to read the first incident on my other fic Things You Never Knew. I'd like to thank all of my reviewers! I'm very happy you all reviewed, even though some people still aren't and I'd like to point out again that I know you read my fic and don't review, even if you think it's crap! I'd especially like to thank Apples for suggesting Legato next. I was rather lost on what to do next, and as you can see in my other stories he's easy for me to make fun of. even if he is my favorite character. Well. R 'n' R.