TALES FROM THE PORTABLE CONFESSIONAL
THIRTEENTH CONFESSION: Breaker of the Indestructible
Nicholas D. Wolfwood was beyond mad. He was absolutely livid, and what was worse was he couldn't find Midvalley the Hornfreak. Wolfwood was in the process of ripping apart the kitchen searching for the soon-to-be-dead jazzman when Hopperd found him.
"Mr. Wolfwood, I have decided to grace you with my confession." The man said in a high-pitched voice.
Wolfwood, however, did not notice, he instead picked up a toaster and shook it to see if Midvalley was hiding in it. Finding nothing but bread crumbs, he threw the appliance over his shoulder, managing to hit Hopperd in the head with his blind throw.
"Wolfwood!" Hopperd screamed, and the glass in Wolfwood's hand shattered into a million pieces.
"WHAT?!" the priest snapped back.
"If you listen to my confession I'll tell you where Midvalley is!" Hopperd offered. By the time Hopperd had finished his sentence Wolfwood had already whipped the confessional from seemingly no where and slammed it down on poor Hopperd's already toaster-stricken head.
"Ow." The Gung-Ho Gun whimpered.
"Get on with it!" Wolfwood shrieked, waving his arms wildly even though he knew the human-bullet couldn't see him.
"Well, fine them!" Hopperd said, crossing his arms, "If you don't want to listen to me I'll just leave."
Realizing the assassin, who, by the way, was acting more like an over sensitive teenage girl, was his only clue as to where the HornFREAK was hiding, Wolfwood pushed Hopperd back into his chair, "No, no, no! Hopperd, Hopperd, Hopperd! You're my friend. I want-no, NEED-to know what's wrong!"
Hopperd sniffled, "Really?"
"Yes." Wolfwood sighed, hoping to high hell that the idiot would just get straight to the point and tell him where Midvalley was.
Hopperd smiled, even though you couldn't see it through his mask and began to chatter on, "Okay! Yesterday, I was playing dodgeball with E.G. and Kuroneko-sama, and E.G., the dirt cheater that he is, threw that stupid cat at me!" he paused here to collect himself, "Anyway, the cat's claws caught the edge of my shield and that bastard chipped it!" he gestured to a small two centimeter wide gouge out of the "indestructible" shield.
"Oh, really, that's too bad, Hopperd. You should talk to Legato about getting that fixed, but where's that cheatinglyingmanwhore, Midvalley?"
"Oh, he's hiding under Legato's bed. Zazie told him something about completing t5he ultimate revenge and what not for touching the 'Beast's (rar) magical poncho!'"
But when Hopperd took the confessional off, Wolfwood was already gone.
THIRTEENTH CONFESSION: Breaker of the Indestructible
Nicholas D. Wolfwood was beyond mad. He was absolutely livid, and what was worse was he couldn't find Midvalley the Hornfreak. Wolfwood was in the process of ripping apart the kitchen searching for the soon-to-be-dead jazzman when Hopperd found him.
"Mr. Wolfwood, I have decided to grace you with my confession." The man said in a high-pitched voice.
Wolfwood, however, did not notice, he instead picked up a toaster and shook it to see if Midvalley was hiding in it. Finding nothing but bread crumbs, he threw the appliance over his shoulder, managing to hit Hopperd in the head with his blind throw.
"Wolfwood!" Hopperd screamed, and the glass in Wolfwood's hand shattered into a million pieces.
"WHAT?!" the priest snapped back.
"If you listen to my confession I'll tell you where Midvalley is!" Hopperd offered. By the time Hopperd had finished his sentence Wolfwood had already whipped the confessional from seemingly no where and slammed it down on poor Hopperd's already toaster-stricken head.
"Ow." The Gung-Ho Gun whimpered.
"Get on with it!" Wolfwood shrieked, waving his arms wildly even though he knew the human-bullet couldn't see him.
"Well, fine them!" Hopperd said, crossing his arms, "If you don't want to listen to me I'll just leave."
Realizing the assassin, who, by the way, was acting more like an over sensitive teenage girl, was his only clue as to where the HornFREAK was hiding, Wolfwood pushed Hopperd back into his chair, "No, no, no! Hopperd, Hopperd, Hopperd! You're my friend. I want-no, NEED-to know what's wrong!"
Hopperd sniffled, "Really?"
"Yes." Wolfwood sighed, hoping to high hell that the idiot would just get straight to the point and tell him where Midvalley was.
Hopperd smiled, even though you couldn't see it through his mask and began to chatter on, "Okay! Yesterday, I was playing dodgeball with E.G. and Kuroneko-sama, and E.G., the dirt cheater that he is, threw that stupid cat at me!" he paused here to collect himself, "Anyway, the cat's claws caught the edge of my shield and that bastard chipped it!" he gestured to a small two centimeter wide gouge out of the "indestructible" shield.
"Oh, really, that's too bad, Hopperd. You should talk to Legato about getting that fixed, but where's that cheatinglyingmanwhore, Midvalley?"
"Oh, he's hiding under Legato's bed. Zazie told him something about completing t5he ultimate revenge and what not for touching the 'Beast's (rar) magical poncho!'"
But when Hopperd took the confessional off, Wolfwood was already gone.