TALES FROM THE PORTABLE CONFESSIONAL
SIXTEENTH CONFESSION: The Truth About the Voices
Wolfwood was lost. Not just the "Oops, which way do I go?"-lost either. It was the "Holy shit! I'm lost! I'm going to die a horrible death by those pigmies with the pointy sticks and fire!"-lost. Perhaps it was the fact that our friend, Nick, had only just moved in last month? Then again, it might have been the fact that Knives was incredibly paranoid and had constructed many winding, twisting hallways with all the surveillance equipment money could buy.
Yeah, that was probably it, now that I think about it.
But, anyway, back to our favorite traveling priest. he was wandering the halls aimlessly, having given up on calling for help hours-no, weeks.perhaps even months ago-occasionally flipping an aforementioned surveillance camera off. He was about to give up when he heard a peculiar 'Thump! Thump! Thump!"-sound.
Grey, the Ninelives, rounded the corner and came running down the massive hallway.
"I - have - confession." The robotic voice informed him.
Wolfwood sighed irritably. He really didn't want to hear the latest in genocide technology's confession, but he was unarmed, and he had been walking for so. so very long. The chain-smoking church-man whipped the portable confessional from seemingly nowhere and made to set it on the robot's head.
.
He stopped mid-reach and instead placed the box on Grey's foot, "Confess."
The robot took a moment to process the data and then began, "I - hear - voices."
Wolfwood tried very hard not to stare oddly at Grey, but when a robot tells you it hears voices. it's rather hard not to, "What do the voices tell you?"
"They - say," Grey's robotic voice switched to a recording and a high pitched voice squeaked, "'Ow! Get off my hand!' - 'No, you get off MY foot!' - 'I'm not.' - 'Both of you get off MY head!'"
"That's. umm.. interesting." Wolfwood stuttered, not quite sure what was going on.
Then Grey slouched a bit and a low, "EEEAAAaauuuoooo," sound came form his robotic body. A hidden door in his leg opened, and a small dwarf stepped out.
The miniature man looked up at Wolfwood threateningly and pointed a finger at him, "You tell anyone about this and-" he drew his finger across his neck in the universal sign for 'Your ass is dead,' and crawled back into the robot, shutting the door behind him.
Grey then stood upright with a, "oooaaAAEEEE!" and ran through the nearest wall, leaving an open gap between Wolfwood and the desert. He was free!
SIXTEENTH CONFESSION: The Truth About the Voices
Wolfwood was lost. Not just the "Oops, which way do I go?"-lost either. It was the "Holy shit! I'm lost! I'm going to die a horrible death by those pigmies with the pointy sticks and fire!"-lost. Perhaps it was the fact that our friend, Nick, had only just moved in last month? Then again, it might have been the fact that Knives was incredibly paranoid and had constructed many winding, twisting hallways with all the surveillance equipment money could buy.
Yeah, that was probably it, now that I think about it.
But, anyway, back to our favorite traveling priest. he was wandering the halls aimlessly, having given up on calling for help hours-no, weeks.perhaps even months ago-occasionally flipping an aforementioned surveillance camera off. He was about to give up when he heard a peculiar 'Thump! Thump! Thump!"-sound.
Grey, the Ninelives, rounded the corner and came running down the massive hallway.
"I - have - confession." The robotic voice informed him.
Wolfwood sighed irritably. He really didn't want to hear the latest in genocide technology's confession, but he was unarmed, and he had been walking for so. so very long. The chain-smoking church-man whipped the portable confessional from seemingly nowhere and made to set it on the robot's head.
.
He stopped mid-reach and instead placed the box on Grey's foot, "Confess."
The robot took a moment to process the data and then began, "I - hear - voices."
Wolfwood tried very hard not to stare oddly at Grey, but when a robot tells you it hears voices. it's rather hard not to, "What do the voices tell you?"
"They - say," Grey's robotic voice switched to a recording and a high pitched voice squeaked, "'Ow! Get off my hand!' - 'No, you get off MY foot!' - 'I'm not.' - 'Both of you get off MY head!'"
"That's. umm.. interesting." Wolfwood stuttered, not quite sure what was going on.
Then Grey slouched a bit and a low, "EEEAAAaauuuoooo," sound came form his robotic body. A hidden door in his leg opened, and a small dwarf stepped out.
The miniature man looked up at Wolfwood threateningly and pointed a finger at him, "You tell anyone about this and-" he drew his finger across his neck in the universal sign for 'Your ass is dead,' and crawled back into the robot, shutting the door behind him.
Grey then stood upright with a, "oooaaAAEEEE!" and ran through the nearest wall, leaving an open gap between Wolfwood and the desert. He was free!