(Nitz walks into the bar. It's a classic bohemian, heavy with smoke in the air. He looks around and sees Kimmy at a table full of people. He walks over and Kimmy gets up and gives him a big kiss)

Kimmy: It's great to see you again Nitz. I'm so glad you could make it.

Nitz: (Returns Kimmy's kiss) It's good to see you too.

Kimmy: (Dreamy smile) Thanks. These are all my friends. (Gestures toward a table full of the largest array of types you could imagine. Kimmy lists off all their names, but Nitz looks suddenly overwhelmed)

(They both snuggle in to the booth together)

Kimmy: We were just discussing some of the plays we've got coming up.

Gothic guy: Yeah. We all have about thirty pages of plays to memorize.

(They all start chatting about their plays, and Nitz settles back deeper into his chair, trying to become invisible)

Guy: What do you think of all this Nitz?

(They all stop talking and look at Nitz)

Nitz: Um, (looking confused) sounds great!

(They all look appauled and a girl in the back starts crying and runs into the bathroom)

Kimmy: Nitz, that was rude.

Nitz: Uhhhhh . . . .

Server: Hey, what would everyone like to drink here?

(goes through everyone naming different types of drinks and comes to Nitz)

Nitz: Ummmmm, soda?

(Everyone gives Nitz a more menacing look)

Nitz: I uh, got way too hammered last night.

(server cocks an eyebrow at him)

~*~

(Back at Broedy's apartment. Nitz walks in the door)

Broedy: Nitzer, what's the deal here? I thought you said don't wait up?

Nitz: (Scowls) Kimmy said she wasn't it the mood tonight. (Looks angrier) Kimmy's stupid drama friends, and stupid severs, and I don't drink.

Broedy: (Shakes his head sadly) I understand.

Nitz: Really?

Broedy: Oh yeah, there was a point I never drank either, and I was shunned as well.

Nitz: When was that?

Broedy: Um, sometime back in grade eleven, I think right before I got in touch with Tom Cruise about my coming of age comedy set in the year 3000.

Nitz: (Rolls his eyes) Great. Everything is upside down. The click is falling apart, Kimmy's gonna dump me soon, Cilton hall is gonna evict me if I don't get rid of Gimpy soon, and I haven't seen Cal or Rocko for so long-

(Sudden smashing at the door)

Rocko: Nitz, lemme in! I need to talk to you.

Broedy: (Gets up and opens the door. Rocko is standing there)

Rocko: Oh, I guess this isn't Nitz's room either. (Starts to walk away)

Nitz: Rocko wait, I'm right here.

Rocko: Nitz, thank god I found you. I have a huge problem. But its (gives Broedy an uneasy look) kinda private.

Nitz: Rocko, this isn't my room-

Broedy: Forget about it Nitz. I'll be back in an hour, I got things to do anyways. (Broedy leaves muttering to himself celebrity names and his scripts)

Nitz: (Closes the door) Ok Rocko, now that you've kicked Broedy out of his own room, what do you want.

Rocko: Nitz, it's hoorible! All the girls, their just non-stop! I feel like I'm changing. Like I'm not my old self.

Nitz: I'm sure it's not a real-

Rocko: I haven't gotten drunk for days Nitz.

Nitz: (Smug smile) Oh really?

Rocko: Really! (Rocko carefully sits down on Nitz's bed) and whats worse, on the way over, this hottie walked by, and when I tried to tell her to take her top off I- (Rocko stutters in pain) -I told her I liked her shoes. (Rocko breaks down crying)

Nitz: (Looking uncomfortable) Geez. Everyone is falling apart.

Rocko: I know. This is horrible.

Nitz: No, not just you Rocko. Gimpy can't get back with his men, Cal can't forget about this girl, and you have become- (Nitz searches for a word. Screen shifts back and forth between Rocko's face and Nitz's) and I can't socialize with Drama people.

Rocko: Well that ones easy. Why don't you just get that pud Cal to teach you how to talk to those people.

Nitz: (thinking) Wow Rocko, thats a really good idea.

Rocko: Meh, law of averages.

Nitz: But he's too caught up with that girl.

Rocko: (Smiles) Well i could teach him how to get over that. (Then expression changes to sad) At least I used to be able to.

Nitz: (Thinking for a long time, but them brightens up) Wait a minute, Rocko, what haven't you been doing lately that you usually do?

Rocko: I dunno. Drinking?

Nitz: Something you do more than that.

Rocko: Smoking?

Nitz: More than that.

Rocko: (Looking confused) Making fun of Cal?

Nitz: (Gives up) Porn Rocko!

Rocko: (sounding out the word) p-o-r-n?

Nitz: (Slaps his forehead) Of course! You have been surrounded by girls in night gowns so much lately, you've lost your need for porn, but also lost the part of yourself that goes with it.

Rocko: Of course! I just need to be exposed to the most hard core and largest library of porn known to mankind.

Nitz: (looks smug) This is too easy.

~*~

(Back in Nitz's room. The windows are boarded up and it tends to look more like Gimpy's room)

Gimpy: So you want me to go on the internet and scroll through a library of porn impossibly fast on an already slow internet connection while leaving my computer open so my men could easily hack in at any moment?

Nitz: That's where I can help you. I can get everyone together to play a team battle of Quake again. We challenge them for leadership-

Gimpy: Nitz, this isn't just like last year, there are certain suttleties to this now. This isn't about sending Mump to the hospital ward, this is going on a date with a girl.

Nitz: Oh.

Gimpy: (Smiles) But perhaps their is another way.

(Cue commercials)