Chapter Seventeen: You Got A Friend In Me
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A little later on, Sidney left BJ in the VIP tent, and at almost the dead of midnight walked back to the Swamp, tired from the half-day of travelling, and from the past few hours of talking. He was immediately met in the Swamp by Hawkeye, who had apparently stayed awake to greet Sidney on his return. "How is he?" Hawkeye asked, sitting up in bed, a book discarded since the moment he saw Sidney walk into the Swamp.
"Asleep," Sidney said, something that was high up on his own priority list.
"Is he better?"
"I think he's going to be fine," Sidney said, untying the laces on his boots. "We had a good, long talk, and he's starting to come to terms with what happened with that letter he got from Peg. Hopefully, he'll start getting back to his normal self, he should start eating soon."
Hawkeye nodded, and asked, "Can I see him?"
"Leave it until the morning," Sidney advised. "He needs all the sleep he can get, he's still weak from malnutrition, but once he starts eating again, his energy will creep up and he'll start being a bit more lively." He laid back on his cot, his hands behind his head and said, "I've seen cases like this before, trust me, okay?"
Hawkeye grinned, as he sometimes felt like Sidney was some kind of mind reader rather than a mere shrink. Of course, he never doubted Sid's ability as a psychiatrist, but when BJ was sitting on the patient's couch, it felt somewhat different. Still, he was determined, and asked, "Can I just sit with him, until he wakes up?"
Sidney thought about this and said, "I don't see the harm in it, just let him sleep, okay?" He knew that Hawkeye had to play some part in BJ's recovery, because he felt the need to do something, even if it was just sitting with him, and Sidney understood and respected this need.
"I'll be as quiet as the resident mice," Hawkeye said, creeping out of the tent towards where BJ was sleeping. He felt this need to be present for when BJ woke up, if he wanted anything, in case he had a nightmare, whatever. He had to be there for him, and there was no question about it.
He crept into the tent, and saw that BJ was indeed asleep, so he quietly sat in the chair and picked up a book from beneath it. After a few lines of reading he lost concentration, and he glanced over to BJ's sleeping form. He saw that some of the lines of worry, the constant frown that had appeared over the past few weeks, were already starting to disappear. Thank God for Sidney, Hawkeye thought to himself.
He and BJ had been there for each other more times than Hawkeye cared to remember. Hawkeye had always been there when BJ had received bad news from home, no matter how trivial. When Hawkeye was worrying about patients, BJ had always known exactly what to say to him. He did not even have to say anything to be a comfort, just his presence was reassuring enough, and now Hawkeye could return that reassurance and sit with BJ.
Hawkeye was still annoyed with himself that he had not seen the signs pointing to BJ's illness earlier. He should have at least seen how thin he was becoming, he was a doctor, it should have been plain as day to him! But no, he never saw it, he never saw how thin he became, how he was never at meals, how pallid he always looked, how irritated the usually light- hearted character was, and how much he was drinking. He scolded himself for that one in particular, although it was not related to not eating, it was still a clear sign of depression, and one of the first that he should have spotted. Some days, the two of them would drink a considerable amount, but that was usually after a very heavy sum of casualties had rolled in and out of the OR. BJ was drinking on a nightly basis, and although Hawkeye saw it, he never realised exactly what was happening.
"I'm sorry, Beej," Hawkeye whispered, looking down at the expressionless face of the man in the bed, "I let you down, and I'm so sorry." He had thought the situation through hundreds upon hundreds of times, and had tried to imagine what could have been if he had picked up on the problem earlier.
"Not your fault, Hawk," a weak voice said quietly, startling Hawkeye. It seemed to take a considerable amount of strength to do so, but BJ slowly opened his eyes and looked for Hawkeye, someone he could draw strength from.
"Hey, Beej," Hawkeye greeted softly, his face lighting up to see his friend awake. "How are you feeling?"
BJ shrugged his shoulders and murmured, "Okay, I guess." He looked intently into Hawkeye's eyes and said, "Please don't blame yourself for this, it's not your fault."
Hawkeye gave BJ's shoulder a squeeze of comfort, but the he did not agree. "I should have seen it, I should have seen the signs," Hawkeye said, his voice full of regret.
"No one saw," BJ said simply. "You didn't know what you were looking for, and no one else did, either."
Hawkeye was about to continue when he remembered that the last thing he wanted to do was to upset or agitate BJ, so he let it go. "Next time something's bothering you, tell me, okay? I mean, you had me worried back there," he said kindly, for once letting his true feelings of friendship for BJ show through.
"All right, Hawk, I will," BJ said tiredly.
"I'll let you get some rest," Hawkeye said, seeing that BJ needed some, "Are you gonna be okay now?"
BJ nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Hawk," he said, and Hawkeye too smiled as he walked out of the door, glad to see his friend starting to recover, if only a little.
~~~~
~~
A little later on, Sidney left BJ in the VIP tent, and at almost the dead of midnight walked back to the Swamp, tired from the half-day of travelling, and from the past few hours of talking. He was immediately met in the Swamp by Hawkeye, who had apparently stayed awake to greet Sidney on his return. "How is he?" Hawkeye asked, sitting up in bed, a book discarded since the moment he saw Sidney walk into the Swamp.
"Asleep," Sidney said, something that was high up on his own priority list.
"Is he better?"
"I think he's going to be fine," Sidney said, untying the laces on his boots. "We had a good, long talk, and he's starting to come to terms with what happened with that letter he got from Peg. Hopefully, he'll start getting back to his normal self, he should start eating soon."
Hawkeye nodded, and asked, "Can I see him?"
"Leave it until the morning," Sidney advised. "He needs all the sleep he can get, he's still weak from malnutrition, but once he starts eating again, his energy will creep up and he'll start being a bit more lively." He laid back on his cot, his hands behind his head and said, "I've seen cases like this before, trust me, okay?"
Hawkeye grinned, as he sometimes felt like Sidney was some kind of mind reader rather than a mere shrink. Of course, he never doubted Sid's ability as a psychiatrist, but when BJ was sitting on the patient's couch, it felt somewhat different. Still, he was determined, and asked, "Can I just sit with him, until he wakes up?"
Sidney thought about this and said, "I don't see the harm in it, just let him sleep, okay?" He knew that Hawkeye had to play some part in BJ's recovery, because he felt the need to do something, even if it was just sitting with him, and Sidney understood and respected this need.
"I'll be as quiet as the resident mice," Hawkeye said, creeping out of the tent towards where BJ was sleeping. He felt this need to be present for when BJ woke up, if he wanted anything, in case he had a nightmare, whatever. He had to be there for him, and there was no question about it.
He crept into the tent, and saw that BJ was indeed asleep, so he quietly sat in the chair and picked up a book from beneath it. After a few lines of reading he lost concentration, and he glanced over to BJ's sleeping form. He saw that some of the lines of worry, the constant frown that had appeared over the past few weeks, were already starting to disappear. Thank God for Sidney, Hawkeye thought to himself.
He and BJ had been there for each other more times than Hawkeye cared to remember. Hawkeye had always been there when BJ had received bad news from home, no matter how trivial. When Hawkeye was worrying about patients, BJ had always known exactly what to say to him. He did not even have to say anything to be a comfort, just his presence was reassuring enough, and now Hawkeye could return that reassurance and sit with BJ.
Hawkeye was still annoyed with himself that he had not seen the signs pointing to BJ's illness earlier. He should have at least seen how thin he was becoming, he was a doctor, it should have been plain as day to him! But no, he never saw it, he never saw how thin he became, how he was never at meals, how pallid he always looked, how irritated the usually light- hearted character was, and how much he was drinking. He scolded himself for that one in particular, although it was not related to not eating, it was still a clear sign of depression, and one of the first that he should have spotted. Some days, the two of them would drink a considerable amount, but that was usually after a very heavy sum of casualties had rolled in and out of the OR. BJ was drinking on a nightly basis, and although Hawkeye saw it, he never realised exactly what was happening.
"I'm sorry, Beej," Hawkeye whispered, looking down at the expressionless face of the man in the bed, "I let you down, and I'm so sorry." He had thought the situation through hundreds upon hundreds of times, and had tried to imagine what could have been if he had picked up on the problem earlier.
"Not your fault, Hawk," a weak voice said quietly, startling Hawkeye. It seemed to take a considerable amount of strength to do so, but BJ slowly opened his eyes and looked for Hawkeye, someone he could draw strength from.
"Hey, Beej," Hawkeye greeted softly, his face lighting up to see his friend awake. "How are you feeling?"
BJ shrugged his shoulders and murmured, "Okay, I guess." He looked intently into Hawkeye's eyes and said, "Please don't blame yourself for this, it's not your fault."
Hawkeye gave BJ's shoulder a squeeze of comfort, but the he did not agree. "I should have seen it, I should have seen the signs," Hawkeye said, his voice full of regret.
"No one saw," BJ said simply. "You didn't know what you were looking for, and no one else did, either."
Hawkeye was about to continue when he remembered that the last thing he wanted to do was to upset or agitate BJ, so he let it go. "Next time something's bothering you, tell me, okay? I mean, you had me worried back there," he said kindly, for once letting his true feelings of friendship for BJ show through.
"All right, Hawk, I will," BJ said tiredly.
"I'll let you get some rest," Hawkeye said, seeing that BJ needed some, "Are you gonna be okay now?"
BJ nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Hawk," he said, and Hawkeye too smiled as he walked out of the door, glad to see his friend starting to recover, if only a little.
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