A/N: For this story we are just going to say that after Cole came back from the wasteland he got back together with Phoebe and they got married again okay, cuz if you ask that would have been better than killing Cole off! Also Paige still works at the social services, and Phoebe still works on her column.

Please r/r.

Chapter 3 – Grieving

"Is that it? That's your trauma? Your…your mom died. People die you know you're not the only person in the world to have lost your mom. At least you're okay now, you know. At least your family care about you which is more than mine do. I've got no one…"

"And neither do I! Now are you going to listen to the rest of what I have to say or are you going to just wallow in self pity?"

"I'm listening"

***

"Auntie Paige hadn't returned since the elders called her away that morning, the normal whitelighter chime had signalled her departure. Even though Auntie Paige was only half whitelighter, she usually answered their rare but demanding calls. I noticed my family weren't great fans of the elders, they were always commenting on how they never knew anything and that it was a waste of time asking them.

Dad couldn't even bear to look into my eyes. I knew it was because I reminded him so much of mom. But he wouldn't ever say that to me, in fact the name Piper hadn't been mentioned in the manor for the past week. It was as if a deadly silence would fall over the manor if it were, like the first time Auntie Phoebe said it.

Usually mom would have been the one to read me a bedtime story, but now it was Uncle Cole or Auntie Phoebe, occasionally Auntie Paige, when she wasn't busy at work or trying to get Dad to talk more about what he was feeling. Sometimes both Uncle Cole and Auntie Phoebe would read to me, I enjoyed this much more, although he kind of made me feel upset all at the same time, as I remember the times I most enjoyed when both my parents reading a bedtime story to me.

I hardly saw my dad that was a strange thing to me, he never left the house but he hardly left his room, sometimes I would sit on his lap for a long time, but he hardly spoke. Once he said to me "Be careful what choices you make Melinda, you may not be able to save the ones you love even if you were making the choice for them in the first place." Of course at that age I didn't really understand what he was on about, but I learnt to know that he was talking about how he had given up his wings to live a normal, well as normal as possible life with my mom. But how this choice had affected his ability to save the women he loved.

Auntie Paige returned later that day bringing the news that the elders had made her the whitelighter of the family now. Auntie Paige was talking about how she didn't know if this was a good idea, as she would feel terrible if someone in her family died because she couldn't save them. Auntie Phoebe just said that she was happy for Paige and she should be happy for herself, because at least they have someone to heal the family now.

I knew all the other adults were worried about dad; they usually sat around in the living room for a couple of hours each night discussing the situation, and how he wasn't making much progress. Auntie Phoebe always sat snuggled up on Uncle Cole's lap, I knew it was because he was her way of not closing up and falling back somewhere we couldn't reach her, like Dad had done. Mom was dad's hold on sanity, and losing her to what he felt was his hand, had made him spiral into a world, where no one could reach him, the walls were just to hard to break down however hard we all tried. Auntie Phoebe needed to be near uncle Cole, needed to know that he was there to take care of her. Hold her when she cried, which I heard her do quiet often and every time I looked, Uncle Cole would be there holding her in his arms. As she cried about my mom, and how she had left her to be the older sister, and how she couldn't handle this, but how she felt guilty about blaming her for leaving her, to be the big sister in the first place. I watched how Uncle Cole comforted Auntie Phoebe, and I new that's why I loved Uncle Cole so much, he would never treat you as if you didn't know the truth, but he always had a way of making it all better for you. I sometimes felt like Uncle Cole was the only one I could really talk to about my mom. I knew it was hard for my dad, so I rarely asked him to speak about her. Auntie Phoebe and Paige were always trying too hard, I knew they were only trying so much because they cared about me, and couldn't bear if anything happened to me.

Slowly our family was falling apart, mom was the one who held it altogether, she was the final piece in the puzzle and now that puzzle piece was lost and was never to be found. Little did I know she was not the to be the last puzzle piece to be lost…

I knew my mom was gone, but I sometimes found it hard to believe. It was hard not to expect the usual smell of pancakes drifting up the stairs and her voice calling me. All it was now was a distant memory, that at the time didn't seem to mean much to me, but now it would be one of those memories I treasured, just knowing that it was time I spent with my mom."

TBC...