Disclaimer: *Does the I-Don't-Own-Harry-Potter dance.*
Notes: Hmmmm.... What should I - I mean the cats!- do to Sevvie? Yeah, that's right... the cats... Mwahahaha... Ahem. Anyways... In this episode the plot picks up it's pace and the Slytherin student meets up with Dumbledore.
If Cats Could Talk
Severus Snape, Death Eater spy, Potions Master, powerful pureblood wizard who had managed to survive years of teaching snot-nosed little brats, was completely at the mercy of no less than 50 cats. The entire feline population of Hogwarts had assembled in the room, and they all were perched wherever they liked, and chattered amongst themselves. He sat tied to an aging, creaking chair beside Argus Filch, likewise gagged.
Snape glared at Crookshanks, Granger's massive cat that was becoming as utterly annoying as his human was. The ginger tom was clearly the ringleader.
"Order! Order!" Crookshanks called, and one of his three henchmen... cats... whatever... knocked a heavy paperweight off of a shelf to silence the assembled like a gavel. The hench-toms were three of the biggest cats in the school.
The mass of furry fiends quieted and turned to face their leader. "It is now time for phase two of FWTO. We have gathered the necessary equipment and the circumstances have been given to us. We have the means and the will to take control of Hogwarts and re-assert ourselves as the dominant species of the world." He placed a forepaw on Snape's wand, pilfered from within his robes after they had tied him down.
"With this wand from our dear Professor Snape, we will gather more monkeys and their magical sticks. I estimate that by Wednesday, everyone here will be armed and by Friday the school will be ours. Then we can have the Beast Speech spell re-administered and made to remain effective until all humans are under our control. Which should be at the end of the month." He flicked his tail. "Now, everyone return to your apes and rest up. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow."
Crookshanks turned to Filch and Snape. "I leave you two in the capable paws of Mrs. Norris and my hench-toms. Be good monkeys and you'll get a treat in the morning." He grinned as he jumped down to the floor and left with the other cats.
-Thank Merlin we don't sort cats into houses. I don't think Slytherin could handle accommodating all of them,- Snape thought to himself bitterly.
***
Hermione suddenly snapped to consciousness, the sensation of eyes boring into her head waking her. She slowly turned over to see Crookshanks glaring at her.
"It's about time you woke up. Feed me, she-ape!" he snapped.
Hermione groaned. "It's, like, five in the morning, Crookshanks. Don't you have global conquest or something you can be planning?"
"Well, yes. But no one can take over the world on an empty stomach."
***
-Ooo, a mouse! AH! No! No! I'm not a cat! Not a cat! Not a cat! Oh, man! I really need to be changed back.- She approached the gargoyle statue that guarded the headmaster's office and paused to look up at the statue. The statue remained lifeless, staring blankly ahead. -Well, this is a problem.-
She sat down and looked up at the gargoyle. After about five minutes of trying to stare down the statue, she sighed and gave up.
With a prodigious leap she landed on the gargoyle's head and walked over to a narrow space in the stairway that wasn't guarded by the stone guardian and considered it. It was only slightly larger than her head, and under normal circumstances, impossible to get through. But being in her Animagus form, and the cat's lack of a true collarbone, she wriggled through it and fell gracefully to the floor below.
-Well, that was easy... What? Ack, I lost a patch of fur squeezing through that. Damn it all,- she mentally muttered. She licked some fur over the bald patch and hoped no one would notice. -Gargoyle gets his due anyway.-
The Slytherin girl in cat form trotted up the stairs to Dumbledore's office and came face to face with a closed door. Undaunted, she stretched onto her hind legs and pawed at the latch until it opened and she walked in brazenly. The headmaster wasn't in evidence, but the many portraits of former headmasters in various states of slumber were present as ever. And Fawkes looked down at her from his perch.
-Tasty bird-NOOO! Not a cat! Not a cat! Not a cat! Dangit, where is Dumbledore? Well, nothing to do but wait, I guess.- She jumped up on the desk and sat down in the middle to wait for the headmaster. Looking down, she saw that she was sitting on the help note she had written in Snape's office. -I guess Snape knows the truth by now. As well as Dumbledore. Well, that takes care of somehow telling Dumbledore.-
"I was wondering when you'd make it up here," a kind voice said.
The Slytherin student whirled around to find the elderly wizard entering from a hidden door in the back she hadn't noticed before. Fawkes cooed as his master entered the room and the headmaster patted the phoenix's head fondly.
-How does he DO that?!-
"You are our mysterious Animagus, if I'm not mistaken," he said, sitting in his chair. The girl faced him warily, wondering just what he knew. "Given your silence where other cats would be making sarcastic remarks, I am correct. And if my further deductions with Severus were correct, you also a Slytherin." She nodded. "Very good. At least that guess work is out of the way." But judging by the twinkle in his warm blue eyes, she knew he knew he was right all along.
-Dumbledore would make a very good cat.-
"However, it seems that Snape was supposed to go and inquire about your identity, and he was vanished."
-Vanished?! Oh that is so not good!-
"But we'll get back to that. The basics are first. What year are you in?" The student cast about for some way of conveying her year. She finally reached over and yanked out seven feathers from Fawkes. The phoenix squawked angrily and fluttered his wings. Dumbledore frowned slightly, but the feathers would regrow soon. "So you're in seventh year? And how long did it take you to become an Animagus? It is very advanced, and most students, even seventh years, wouldn't be able to accomplish it."
The girl batted at a single feather, separating it from the others.
"A single year? Remarkable! You must be one of the brightest Slytherins."
-I like to think so.-
"Therefore, it shouldn't be hard to figure out who you are. You must have some friends who've noticed you're missing."
-Not really. I kept a low profile for most of my student career.-
"Perhaps you can write your name." Dumbledore uncorked a vial of ink and took out a spare piece of parchment. "If you managed to write out a help note, a name should be simple enough." The student looked at the vial and raised a paw. Then set it down. Then raised it again, confused. "Is something wrong?"
-No, not at all... But I... I can't remember my name. I've been a cat so long I can't remember it. Not to mention that the Obliviate to the head didn't help much.-
~*~*~*~
Notes: Hmmmm.... What should I - I mean the cats!- do to Sevvie? Yeah, that's right... the cats... Mwahahaha... Ahem. Anyways... In this episode the plot picks up it's pace and the Slytherin student meets up with Dumbledore.
If Cats Could Talk
Severus Snape, Death Eater spy, Potions Master, powerful pureblood wizard who had managed to survive years of teaching snot-nosed little brats, was completely at the mercy of no less than 50 cats. The entire feline population of Hogwarts had assembled in the room, and they all were perched wherever they liked, and chattered amongst themselves. He sat tied to an aging, creaking chair beside Argus Filch, likewise gagged.
Snape glared at Crookshanks, Granger's massive cat that was becoming as utterly annoying as his human was. The ginger tom was clearly the ringleader.
"Order! Order!" Crookshanks called, and one of his three henchmen... cats... whatever... knocked a heavy paperweight off of a shelf to silence the assembled like a gavel. The hench-toms were three of the biggest cats in the school.
The mass of furry fiends quieted and turned to face their leader. "It is now time for phase two of FWTO. We have gathered the necessary equipment and the circumstances have been given to us. We have the means and the will to take control of Hogwarts and re-assert ourselves as the dominant species of the world." He placed a forepaw on Snape's wand, pilfered from within his robes after they had tied him down.
"With this wand from our dear Professor Snape, we will gather more monkeys and their magical sticks. I estimate that by Wednesday, everyone here will be armed and by Friday the school will be ours. Then we can have the Beast Speech spell re-administered and made to remain effective until all humans are under our control. Which should be at the end of the month." He flicked his tail. "Now, everyone return to your apes and rest up. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow."
Crookshanks turned to Filch and Snape. "I leave you two in the capable paws of Mrs. Norris and my hench-toms. Be good monkeys and you'll get a treat in the morning." He grinned as he jumped down to the floor and left with the other cats.
-Thank Merlin we don't sort cats into houses. I don't think Slytherin could handle accommodating all of them,- Snape thought to himself bitterly.
***
Hermione suddenly snapped to consciousness, the sensation of eyes boring into her head waking her. She slowly turned over to see Crookshanks glaring at her.
"It's about time you woke up. Feed me, she-ape!" he snapped.
Hermione groaned. "It's, like, five in the morning, Crookshanks. Don't you have global conquest or something you can be planning?"
"Well, yes. But no one can take over the world on an empty stomach."
***
-Ooo, a mouse! AH! No! No! I'm not a cat! Not a cat! Not a cat! Oh, man! I really need to be changed back.- She approached the gargoyle statue that guarded the headmaster's office and paused to look up at the statue. The statue remained lifeless, staring blankly ahead. -Well, this is a problem.-
She sat down and looked up at the gargoyle. After about five minutes of trying to stare down the statue, she sighed and gave up.
With a prodigious leap she landed on the gargoyle's head and walked over to a narrow space in the stairway that wasn't guarded by the stone guardian and considered it. It was only slightly larger than her head, and under normal circumstances, impossible to get through. But being in her Animagus form, and the cat's lack of a true collarbone, she wriggled through it and fell gracefully to the floor below.
-Well, that was easy... What? Ack, I lost a patch of fur squeezing through that. Damn it all,- she mentally muttered. She licked some fur over the bald patch and hoped no one would notice. -Gargoyle gets his due anyway.-
The Slytherin girl in cat form trotted up the stairs to Dumbledore's office and came face to face with a closed door. Undaunted, she stretched onto her hind legs and pawed at the latch until it opened and she walked in brazenly. The headmaster wasn't in evidence, but the many portraits of former headmasters in various states of slumber were present as ever. And Fawkes looked down at her from his perch.
-Tasty bird-NOOO! Not a cat! Not a cat! Not a cat! Dangit, where is Dumbledore? Well, nothing to do but wait, I guess.- She jumped up on the desk and sat down in the middle to wait for the headmaster. Looking down, she saw that she was sitting on the help note she had written in Snape's office. -I guess Snape knows the truth by now. As well as Dumbledore. Well, that takes care of somehow telling Dumbledore.-
"I was wondering when you'd make it up here," a kind voice said.
The Slytherin student whirled around to find the elderly wizard entering from a hidden door in the back she hadn't noticed before. Fawkes cooed as his master entered the room and the headmaster patted the phoenix's head fondly.
-How does he DO that?!-
"You are our mysterious Animagus, if I'm not mistaken," he said, sitting in his chair. The girl faced him warily, wondering just what he knew. "Given your silence where other cats would be making sarcastic remarks, I am correct. And if my further deductions with Severus were correct, you also a Slytherin." She nodded. "Very good. At least that guess work is out of the way." But judging by the twinkle in his warm blue eyes, she knew he knew he was right all along.
-Dumbledore would make a very good cat.-
"However, it seems that Snape was supposed to go and inquire about your identity, and he was vanished."
-Vanished?! Oh that is so not good!-
"But we'll get back to that. The basics are first. What year are you in?" The student cast about for some way of conveying her year. She finally reached over and yanked out seven feathers from Fawkes. The phoenix squawked angrily and fluttered his wings. Dumbledore frowned slightly, but the feathers would regrow soon. "So you're in seventh year? And how long did it take you to become an Animagus? It is very advanced, and most students, even seventh years, wouldn't be able to accomplish it."
The girl batted at a single feather, separating it from the others.
"A single year? Remarkable! You must be one of the brightest Slytherins."
-I like to think so.-
"Therefore, it shouldn't be hard to figure out who you are. You must have some friends who've noticed you're missing."
-Not really. I kept a low profile for most of my student career.-
"Perhaps you can write your name." Dumbledore uncorked a vial of ink and took out a spare piece of parchment. "If you managed to write out a help note, a name should be simple enough." The student looked at the vial and raised a paw. Then set it down. Then raised it again, confused. "Is something wrong?"
-No, not at all... But I... I can't remember my name. I've been a cat so long I can't remember it. Not to mention that the Obliviate to the head didn't help much.-
~*~*~*~