Lutee woke me early in the morning, saying that if the day was to be started it would have to begin now. I dressed in a simple dark gown with a veil to cover my face; when Lutee frowned and asked me why I wore such somber clothing, I only shook my head and did not answer. As we left Sebastian's mansion in a carriage, heading for the Upper City, I stared out the window and would not speak to the woman. True she was kind, but as the vampire had told me Lutee did not possess much in the way of intelligence. Her heart was big and it gladdened me. Sebastian's voice kept coming back to me with what he said last night.
I was a prisoner to Sebastian's will; he held all the cards in his hands. I was a prisoner, period. I sadly smiled, knowing that my mother must of given me up for dead now, as well as my friends at the factory. Lutee could not help me because then Sebastian might kill her. Vaguely I wondered if my mother had gone to the Sarafan to ask for assistance. At that moment I was glad the veil covered my face for I did not want Lutee to see me crying. The serving woman kept going on and on about how she would find me the most beautiful dresses once we got to the Upper City; that she would dress me up like a princess. I did not feel like a princess; more like a bird trapped in a gilded cage as I wiped the tears from my eyes. What Lutee said next caused me to look up at her quickly.
"What did you say?"
"Well dear, just keep this between you and me," Lutee spoke over the noise of the carriage wheels. We passed through the gates of the Industrial Quarter and headed up a long boulevard to the Upper City, a place where all the nobles of Meridian lived. "I believe, and this comes from my own personal experience, that Lord Sebastian is very interested in you Ria. I may be old, but these eyes do not lie and cannot be tricked with what I've seen." Lutee gave a knowing wink and tapped the edge of her nose. I lowered my eyes and looked at my gloved hands; hands that once worked with chemicals and other unguents, now bandaged and shaking.
What were those words that Sebastian had said to me?
Unwilling lover?
Lutee saw him looking at me like he favoured me?
But I am only his 'comfort' as he said…or was it more?
I did not want to think of such things. It nearly made me sick to think that Sebastian that…that monster was capable of love, of loving me. I gazed back out the window and Lutee's voice faded into the distance again. Sometimes I wish I could be as brain-dead as Lutee. Soon the carriage arrived in the Upper City, a place of exquisite beauty where the Cathedral dominated the landscape. As I stepped out of the black carriage I looked up at the stain glass windows and gave something of a sigh. I use to come here often when I was younger, with my mother to services. But because she had gotten older the trips had become less and less until we had stopped coming altogether. I turned to look at Lutee as she squeezed her frame out of the carriage doors.
"Can we go and see the church quickly? I would like to light a candle."
"It would do ye good for such a thing, Ria. We will go, but then after that right onto the shops. It will be a full day for ye and me both, and I don't want to waste a minute. If only the day had more hours within them." We crossed the cobblestone street, walked past a group of nobles talking about a new tax hike, and entered the beautiful cathedral through the massive doors, carved with scenes of the Sarafan destroying vampires. If I told the 'holy' order about Sebastian, would they kill him?
Once inside the church I looked down the long carpeted aisle to the altar at the end, holding the holy symbol of the Sarafan. I had once prayed with my mother here for protection against evil but what good had that done for me? Nothing. Walking around the edge of the church I made my way over to one of the tiny alcoves where small candles burned and others waited to be lit. A young boy was kneeling in front of one candle, his hands clasped together and murmuring softly.
"And may my mother's soul rest in peace," his soft voice floated up to me. "And that the vampire that slew her be hunted down and burn within the fires of Hell everlasting." My heart froze as I heard these words and my mind spun. This young boy had already lost his mother at such an age to a vampire. Briefly I wondered if Sebastian had killed the child's parent. How much this young boy and I were alike for this one moment. Having lost both our mothers to a vampire, both unable to do anything about it. Standing and brushing a tear from his eyes with the rough cotton shirt he wore, the young boy walked towards one of the priests to perhaps seek a listening ear for his grief. I envied him at that moment. He had someone to talk to and I, 'little' Ria, did not.
"But I have not lost my mother yet," I spoke softly to myself. "And I can still...if I try..." A plan formed in my head, one that began to scare me. I did not think I had it in me to think such a thought after the warning Sebastian had given me but I had to try. What was the worse that could happen? Death? My mother once said that death came for us all sooner or later. It was just a matter of how you faced it when your time came.
The little boy had lost his mother, but I had not. And I would go and see my mother, show her that I was not dead and we would flee. We could travel to Freeport or Haven, one of the towns beyond Meridian. Sebastian could not catch me there. Lutee tapping me on the shoulder caused me to jump; I turned a guilty face towards her, imagining for a few moments what might become of her. Then I angrily squashed such thinking. I desired my freedom.
"Have ye lit a candle yet, Ria?" She looked over the small burning wicks as if seeking my own.
"No. Just give me a few moments, please." I took a small taper and lit it, then touched the burning end to another candle. Dropping the taper into the ash box, I closed my eyes and pretended to pray. In truth my eyes were half-closed, watching Lutee. The old woman's gaze was elsewhere; she was looking up at the choir as they practiced their hymns. She thought I would say a quick prayer, but when the serving woman realized that I would be praying for some time, she walked away slowly to another side of the church to let me be. I saw her enter a small confessional booth from the corner of my eyes.
What sins do you have to admit, Lutee? I wondered. A deep and terrible secret that can be told to no one? Can it even be deeper and darker than my own? Once the door closed behind her, I opened my eyes and dropped my hands down to my side. Quickly I glanced around the church, hoping that Sebastian did not have spies watching me. Fixing the veil that covered my face I moved away from the alcove and back towards the Cathedral doors that led outside. I wanted to run, I wanted to dash out of this place of worship but I controlled myself. It would be stupid to attract attention in such a way.
And then I was on the streets of the Upper City, by myself and without Lutee. I quickly looked back, expecting the servant woman in her old age to could bursting through the doors, screeching and wailing after me like some banshee. Nothing happened. It had been a long time since I had been to the Upper City but I dimly recalled the way to the gondolas that moved between here and the Lower City. Walking along with the crowd of nobles, my head lowered, I attracted no attention and did not call any to myself. Sarafan patrolled the street with hands on the hilt of their swords; workers from the Industrial Quarter were either walking home or towards their shift in the factories. I wished to not run into any of my friends. That would cause a problem and right now I did not need a problem.
Stopping in the middle of a square that was dominated by a statue of the Sarafan Lord I realized that I had been walking for most of the day. I had been so deep in thought that I had not noticed that passing of time. The sun was slowly dipping towards the west; the clock tower overlooking the square rang the hour, proclaiming it to be half past four in the afternoon. Fear gripped my chest and I felt light-weight for a few moments. How could this be? Damn it! Ria you stupid girl, I wanted to scream at myself. You have wasted most of the day and still haven't found the gondola.
Lutee had surely by now realized what I had done, leaving her and running away. She had most likely gone back to the mansion and reported either to one of Sebastian's underlings or to the Master of the Industrial Quarter himself about my disappearing act. Even now he might be searching for me. I sat down at the base of the statue and quivered in fear as the vampire lord's words once again filled my mind. Would he kill me and Lutee, or would he silence me again? A part of me whispered to give up, to wait here and be found by Sebastian. Another spoke that I might as well continue: Damned if you do, damned if you don't, eh Ria? the voice whispered. Perhaps a few passer-bys looked at me strangely, a young woman clothed in black hunched over herself and trying to not shiver in fear.
"I can still find the gondola, there is time yet." I rubbed my hands together, feeling the bandages through the leather. No, I did not want to be silenced again if I could help it. I stood up, brushed the dirt off of my dress and began to walk down the streets again, this time taking a chance and following one of the Industrial workers, hoping against hope that he was going home and that his home was in the Lower City. My eyes travelled upwards from time to time to the rooftops, vainly hoping to not see the cloaked and armoured figure of Sebastian and ready to run if he appeared. My luck for the worker did not hold; he entered into a pub nearby to most likely drink with a few friends.
I wanted to cry out of sheer frustration. Why had I done what I had done? I tried to ask a few people the way to the gondola but they simply turned their noses up at me and walked on. Nobles, I disgustingly thought. I wished then a vampire would come and kill them, a particularly vicious one at that. The clock rang again; I was further away from it but could still hear the deep tolling...it was now five o'clock. It looked like now I would have to take a chance. Upper City had grown since the last time I had been here, and I could not rely on my memory anymore. A chance; a fleeting hope. I would have to gamble. C'mon Ria, you've gambled before only now it is your life and not money, I mused darkly. Stepping away from the crowded and tree-lined avenue I ventured into a smaller side-street, not as busy as the one I had left behind but still enough people that I could feel safe with.
My feet hit the cobblestone street quickly; the sun's last few rays were hitting the windows of the shops and casting a red glow over the buildings. Red like my blood...I pushed aside that train of thought. I walked down the street just a little faster, moving out of the way of on-coming carriages at the same time glancing for the black one that had carried Lutee and me down here. Was she in one of them, looking for me right now? Or was she already dead after giving the displeasing news to Sebastian? I cut down another side-street, this one smaller than the last. I was in a residential area now; large and imposing doorways facing out towards the street with potted plants framing them. It all looked so quaint and peaceful, these people not knowing the true horrors that went on within Meridian. I envied them more than ever as I walked quickly, nearly running, past their doors. I needed to find the gondola right now.
Panic was rising up in my throat as the sun finally dropped below the horizon, the light vanishing as the glyph-powered lamps came on. If Sebastian had not been searching for me in the daylight I knew with grim certainty now that he was looking for me. A person, only a vague outline of them in the light, was walking towards me. I ducked down another street and hid behind a large refuse bin as the person moved past me; it was only a noble out for an evening stroll.
"Calm Ria, be calm. You can't think straight when you're like this. If I can simply hide here tonight, come morning I can find the gondola with no problem." It was the best course of action that I could take. Wandering the streets at night here in the Upper City were not as dangerous as walking alone in the Lower City; if anything I would just run into a Sarafan patrol, play the lost and silly girl and then be escorted to the gondola. So I moved off down the side-street once more, my hands clasped together and me trying to control my anxiety.
A loud squawk pierced the air above me; I stopped and quickly looked up to see a large crow take flight. The flapping of its wings startled me, but I gave a muffled shriek as another crow, this one with its bowels eviscerated, dropped down on the street beside me. I did not need to know what had killed this crow and what had sent the other flying; I took off running as if I possessed wings of my own. Another shrill caw came from the rooftops. The birds that had been roosting there scattered, the sound of beating wings filling the air. Somebody - I already knew who - dropped to the ground behind me. I screamed as I tried to run faster. Surely someone would hear me and help! But no lights came from within the windows, and no doors opened up. No one offered to aid me, content as they were within their own worlds and untroubled by what went on around them
I had nearly turned the corner when a cold hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back roughly. At the same time I lost my footing and fell down on my knees on the cobblestones, hard. I cried out in pain. Pulled quickly to my feet I was turned around to see the seething face of Sebastian. His eyes, which now seemed a vivid red, bore down into my own. His grey lips were twisted in a very thin and cruel frown as he exerted a crushing force down on my wrists.
"Trying to escape, Ria? You know what I told you about trying something as stupid as that!" He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me closer to him.
"Please Sebastian, don't-"
"Be quiet," the vampire hissed, a voice now very low and soft. "It seems that once again I will have to discipline you, little Ria. And I am not going to be very kind about it either!" Sebastian quickly swept me up in his arms, holding me in a vise-like grip as he jumped back up to the rooftops of the Upper City.
At such a height I could see the spire of the Cathedral where this had all begun, where I had made my plan that had failed horribly on me. Sebastian began to run with a speed I did not know vampires had, back over the rooftops of the Upper City, jumping from great heights and over water that made me cry out in fear. Looking into his pale face I shuddered. It was a mask of tightly controlled anger, anger that could be loosened at any moment. As the vampire headed back to the Industrial Quarter his grip on me the whole time did not loosen, nor did it tighten. I could only cry softly as I looked up into the sky, not seeing the moon but a vicious punishment at his hands.