"You are finally awake. Oh my dear little Ria, I thought the worst for a moment." My eyes opened slowly, weakly. It felt like there was a heavy lead blanket spread over me, and although I struggled to try and throw it off, I couldn't. It pained me to turn my head to the side, to where Sebastian's voice had come from, but I did. I blinked slowly, feeling dumb and mute. The vampire, his face floating eerily before me through the haze of sleep that clouded my eyes, gave me an almost tender look.
"S-Sebastian?" Closing my eyes for a moment – they felt as heavy as weights – I opened them again, forcing myself to focus on one point. Sebastian's face was only a few fingers width away from my own, still pale as always, his flesh cool, but those ever-changing eyes gazing at me with concern. No, that couldn't be right, I thought quickly as I fixed my eyes to a point on the wall behind Sebastian. Why would this monster feel concern for me? Impossible; all monsters were incapable of feelings and that was why they were monsters. Working saliva into my mouth, running my tongue across lips that felt as dried out as dirt I spoke "What time is it?"
His lips turning upward into the barest traces of a smile filled with relief, glad to hear words come from me; Sebastian brushed a strand of my hair from my face as he answered my question. "A little pass nine in the morning, Ria. Are you alright?"
It was an effort to concentrate on just one voice. I felt that if given the choice, I could still leave my body easily enough and just float away from this all. But my will was much stronger than that, and it kept me moored inside my own body. Sheets were tucked up and over my body, pillows piled behind my head so I could see the room at a slightly elevated angle. I was still in Sebastian's chambers; he had not moved me at all during the night because...
...Because he wanted to make sure that you were all right. That he did not want you to leave his side in case the worse should happen, my conscious whispered to me. Does he look tired to you, Ria? That is because Sebastian did not sleep at all, watching over you the whole night. I shook my head slightly in disagreement; Sebastian was a monster all the same. Weak light streamed through the windows, from the doors leading out onto the balcony from which Sebastian had brought me through last night. If I focused long enough, wrapping my good hand around the covers of the bed and flexing the muscles, I could force myself to see the sky. Shale grey was the colour the clouds bore, heavy with the promise of rain. Outside of the mansion, muted but all the same still heard, was the crack of thunder. The people walking the streets of Meridian, as free as they were, must also be looking up into the sky as I am and seeking cover from the storm. No one liked to get wet unless they could help it.
The sensation of having my hair brushed brought me back to reality, my thoughts back to my body. Having placed himself up against me, leaning back into the baseboard of the bed, Sebastian ran his talons over my head and asked me once again, gently "Ria, are you alright?"
"I feel weak. Like I want to float away." Speaking slowly but carefully, choosing each of my words deliberately, I finally was able to turn back to Sebastian and look into his eyes. "My hand?" I did not want to see the damage done to my flesh and sink into a depression that I could not pull myself from. There was no pain and very briefly I wondered if I had lost my hand altogether; as frightening as the idea was of losing a part of my body perhaps Sebastian would think that I was no longer attractive.
Brushing the back of his cold fingers across my face Sebastian gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "After you fell back into sleep I went to get medicine for it. You will not be able to feel the wound for some time, and when you do it will only be a minor pain, nothing as terrible as before. I also placed more of the salve over your body, if you wish to know." Grasping my head between his hands, the sharp nails resting lightly against my flesh; Sebastian's eyes for a few moments appeared to soften. A strand of black hair fell over his left eye, but he did not bother to brush it back into place. The muscles in his throat clenched and relaxed as if he were fighting with himself, about to utter something that he desperately needed to say or else it might hurt him. "Ria, my little Ria," the vampire said in a quiet voice, a voice that I thought was touched with a bit of pain to it. "I am sorry for what I have done to you, truly sorry. Can you find it within you to forgive me?"
Those words, spoken so simply, pierced my heart. Sebastian, a powerful vampire lord who controlled the lives on many and could send many more to their deaths on a slight whim, was humbling himself before me for the lack of a better word, before a human and asking me to forgive him. For a being that could rend a human limb from limb if the notion took him, Sebastian looked very weak at this moment. I did not want to say anything to him. I wanted to look the other way, or if I had been stronger I would have struck him and screamed at him, how he had made my life nothing but a nightmare. How dare you, I thought bitterly. You cannot just ask me like this and expect to receive an apology.
And then I realized that I had more power over Sebastian at this moment than he had over me. The thought both excited and scared me. So this was what it felt like to lord over someone else. With my own hands I pressed them lightly up against Sebastian's, still moving slowly but getting stronger as the effects of sleep were left behind. I released myself from his grasp and placed his hands in my lap, covered with my own, and looked at him in the eyes. One moment they were a deep blue, the next a vibrant green, and then a colourless grey. Could this monster's emotions be reflected in his eyes? Eyes were said to be the windows to the soul but Sebastian for me seemed to have a lack of one.
"There are some things Sebastian, that no matter what, can never be forgiven."
To be honest I do not know who was more surprised, the vampire or myself. I couldn't believe that I had actually said those words, that I had brought myself to speak them. Before I had even thought of them they had just come, and done their damage well enough. Lying back on the pillows, I saw true pain flash in Sebastian's eyes that looked to cloud over just as quickly with something else. He withdrew his hands from my own, those ebony lips opened in a tiny 'o' of surprise. The vampire's reaction was not what I had expected. Truthfully I had expected Sebastian to lash out at me or at something else in the bedchamber but all he did was continue to look at me like an animal that had been kicked.
And I did not at all feel empowered by what I had just done.
I quickly thought of something else to say, but before I could even utter one word Sebastian's face grew cold and lifeless as it always was, devoid of emotion and looking like it belonged to a statue. The spark that had been in his eyes before withdrew completely from me.
"I see," the vampire lord of the Industrial Quarter hissed at me, turning his back on me and made to get off the bed. Moving with a sense of detachment from the world, my eyes following his every move, Sebastian gathered up his clothing that was strewn on the floor from last night and began to get dressed. He acted as if I was no longer in the room, that he was the only one there. Slamming the clip that held his cloak over his shoulders with unnecessary force Sebastian grabbed his skullcap and stalked to the bedroom door. "I have work to get done," the lord said absently, "but would you like to have stupid Lutee's company, little Ria?"
Shaking my head, not wanting to even have the older woman's company, Sebastian gave me a sneer but nodded all the same. "Very well then. Try and not move too much, Ria. I nearly drained you to the point of death last night, but I stopped before you actually went to the next world. You are still weak."
"I know, Sebastian." I finally had enough courage to simply look at my right hand, considering what I had just said to the vampire lord looking at my hand would have been deemed the simpler of the two acts but it wasn't so. Wrapped up as it was in bandages, I could see that Sebastian had taken his time with my hand, folding the white cloth over the palm loosely for the blood to flow, but tightly enough that the linen would not fall off. My nakedness no longer shamed me in front of Sebastian. As he had once said I had seen him completely as he had seen me, so why bother with false illusions of modesty? There was nothing left to hide. Hideous bruises of yellow and purple spread out over my breasts, down my stomach and across my arms. The spot where Sebastian fed from me on my shoulder was tender but also bandaged. I did not know about my legs, still covered by the sheets, but all the same...
Opening the door to leave Sebastian turned back to give me one of those unreadable expressions which I'm sure was his hallmark, besides his brutality. He looked into my eyes for a few brief moments; his throat constricted. The vampire lord wanted to tell me something but I suppose he was afraid that I would come back with another cutting reply. Looking away he closed the door; faintly I could make out the sounds of his footsteps retreating down the hall. Alone now, I began to think of what would happen next. I had promised Sebastian that I would not leave. As much as I loathed it, I would not break my word to Sebastian.
The price was too high to pay.
Yet he had tried to apologize, something that seemed to go against his very nature. And I, I had taken that apology and tossed it back into his face without considering it. No, I had considered it, and I had made my decision. "He deserves it," I muttered darkly to myself, "he deserves my pain. Sebastian gave it to me." But still here I was with him; in our home he had openly spoken to me. This was his dwelling, not mine. He had chosen to make his life here and I had been placed here because he had wanted a lover. Had it been mere convenience or had he been watching me from afar before all of this had begun? Why did such thoughts come to me now?
"I need to leave this room, go elsewhere." A strong gust of wind from outside suddenly rattled the windows, making me jump in the bed. The doors blew open and banged loudly with the curtains billowed outwards as the wind filled them like sails of the boats I had seen down at the wharves. Rising from the bed with as much speed as possible, I grabbed at a robe that was draped over the end of the bed and threw it over my naked body. Stumbling up to the doors, the sound of falling rain reaching my ears from outside, I caught the sight of a black carriage down below near the front of the mansion.
Unaware of what I was doing I found myself outside on the balcony in the rain, looking down at the carriage that held Sebastian inside and hoping to see his face. My feet quickly became cold from the rainfall and the robe I wore quickly soaked, but I continued to look at the carriage through the veil of rain in the hopes that Sebastian would sense me and look up towards the balcony. A crack of the whip filled the air and the driver, shouting out a command to his team of horses, began to drive the carriage away from the manse. I watched the black carriage leave, heading off into the heart of the Industrial Quarter until it disappeared from my sight, then I went back into the bedroom, closing the doors behind me and locking them tightly.
It looked like it would be raining all day.
~ ~ ~
The mansion was larger than I had first thought. After throwing the wet dress robe onto the floor of Sebastian's chamber, I had wrapped myself in the sheets and quickly opened the door that was adjacent to my own chamber from the vampire's. If I were to live here with Sebastian now because of my promise, then I would argue with him to get rid of that door if he wanted to keep me happy. The wardrobe in my chamber was nearly empty; as I pulled out a blue dress with a collar that came up to my neck with the hem falling just above my feet, I shuddered as the cloth touched my bruised skin.
This wouldn't have happened if you had listened to Sebastian, that annoying voice in my mind piped up. Remember, he gave you a choice.
"Shut up, just shut up." I rubbed my good hand over the bandage on the other, whispering fiercely as I shook. "Like I don't already know that. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't do anything anymore. It is all over, all over for me. I am not as strong as I wish I could be. What would any other woman do in my place?" I sat down on the edge of my bed, looking out the window and at the rain falling. The sky above was no longer grey; mixed with the disgusting chemicals that the factories and steel mills pumped out into the air the heavens had a putrid green colour to them. It made everything more depressing for me. Taking one of the pillows off of the counterpane I held it gently, rocking back and forth slowly while my conscious went on talking.
Maybe, it said, you should just give in Ria.
"I have given in."
Not entirely. You do realize that Sebastian asked for forgiveness, something that vampires, or as you have been taught to believe, never ask for. Ria, now if you are giving him your pain, how does this make you feel? It made you feel rather badly, did it not?
I closed my eyes. "I don't know. But I-" I couldn't finish.
Ah, you hesitate. Know this Ria. You have to live here now; you made a promise and promises have to be kept. But do you really want to live in a place that will always be sad for you? It can change, but only if you were to give in. Sebastian is trying.
"He could be kinder to me. Everything he has done to me so far has been something that a monster would do."
Would a monster bandage your wounds for you, make sure that you slept the night through without dying? He could have killed you Ria, but he did not. He is caring for you now; something that a monster would do? Open yourself to him Ria, as much as that might scare you. The end results could be quite surprising.
"Surprising? Caring for me? Sebastian was a...he could never...Just shut up!" I tossed the pillow away from me. It hit the windows, rebounding off the panes and in turn hit the dressing table, knocking a small vase to the ground. It landed on the carpet with a dull thud but did not break. I rose quickly and walked over to the door, throwing it open and looked down the hall of the mansion that belonged to Sebastian. In all the time that I had been here I had only see the bedchambers; now I would view the rest of my new home and become familiar with it.
My chamber was at the end of a long hall, carpeted in red. The large bay window at the end, heavy curtains pulled back, offered little in the way of light. With the rain hitting the panes, making a sound like pebbles thrown onto the ground, I found it somehow depressing. There was no true view. All that could be seen were the factories and the busy avenues of the Industrial Quarter. The walls of the mansion were paneled in heavy oak, still life paintings hanging from them that looked expensive. For a few moments one painting in particular caught my attention: a woman was facing out towards the sea, her back to me. The sun was setting and her hair, caught by a wind now frozen for all time, billowed out behind her. Loneliness hit me as I stared up at the oil painting and I quickly moved on. One thing I had to admit, Sebastian knew good artwork when he saw it. He must have paid more than enough to have these paintings, something that an ordinary worker in Meridian could never afford.
Continuing my walk down the hall there were two more doors on either side of me before I came to the staircase. It curved down into the shadows of the first floor and I started down slowly, holding onto the banister just in case I suddenly felt dizzy. I had no intention of tumbling down the stairs and having more bruises. Setting my feet down on the tiled floor I stood at the entrance way, looking at the double doors that when opened led out into the courtyard of the mansion and then into Meridian beyond. Any other time I would have rushed at those doors, thrown them open and run into the rain, but because of a promise I was locked away from the world. Maybe it was for the better. Glancing to my right and through an arching doorway I could see the dark outlines of furniture in the room. Was it a parlour? I was about to go in, to look at this cavernous mansion that seemed to hold no light and no life when a clattering noise to my left made me turn quickly.
Instantly I regretted it.
I nearly swooned, grabbing for the railing on the stairs to support myself. But it was Lutee who caught my instead, grabbing me by my right shoulder and quickly setting me back onto my feet. For a woman who was in her middle years, she was very strong.
"There now, miss Ria, ye look so pale child." My eyes cleared, the dizziness left my head, and I was able to finally look at Lutee. The punishment she had been dealt by Sebastian showed, and I let out a choked cry. Lutee was still Lutee; her smile that gave warmth to me, and wise eyes that overflowed with kindness. Her left arm was in a sling, a plaster cast covering her flesh that extended all the way up to her shoulder. But Lutee mistook my cry that I was still feeling weak and, turning me around, hustled me back into the parlour. Setting me down on one of the carved chairs, she quickly went over to the drapes and pulled the heavy cloth back, flooding the room with light.
"H-how did you hurt your arm, Lutee?" I knew the answer to the question well enough, but all the same I wanted proof from her. She looked at her broken arm for a moment and then at me as if I had asked a silly question, then broke into a smile.
"Oh, silly me. I was running back here after ye vanished to tell Lord Sebastian. I fell down on the steps outside and broke it. Me old bones will knit back up well enough, miss Ria, have no worries about that." Lutee spoke in a high voice like the story was nothing, that there was no problem. But she never once looked me in the eyes as she told the tale, and I wanted to pound my fist down on the arm of the chair in frustration. I had caused this to her, something that she did not deserve. Lutee went over to the fireplace on the opposite wall, placing a log clumsily into the hearth. She brushed me away when I offered help, saying she did not want to have me fainting again. Lighting a match, Lutee tossed it onto the log and waited for it to catch fire.
"Well, ye should have seen Lord Sebastian when I found and told him," she continued in a cheery voice as the warmth from the flames dispelled the chill in the parlour. "A blooming hurricane he was, saying that you could be injured and worse in the Upper City. He tore out of here faster than anything I have ever seen in me whole life, and I do say the person who received his anger," she shook her head, "I pity the poor soul."
At this little comment I started to laugh; of all things mirth got to me with Lutee's simple words. My whole body hurt as my shoulders shook and I wiped a tear from my eye as the maid gave me a strange look. "I do not doubt you on that, Lutee. I have no doubt with that."
"And I can see ye met your own troubles." She took my injured hand gently in her own; her chubby fingers were warm and calloused, but it reminded me of my mother and how she use to look over my cuts when I was little. Angrily I clamped down on such memories and tried not to let them rise back up again. "If I may ask, miss Ria, how in God's name did this happen to someone like ye?"
I leaned forwards and looked at the flames in the fireplace, my hair hiding my eyes. "I made someone very angry, Lutee, very angry."
"Did you-were you injured elsewhere child?" Her voice was hesitant and soft, but I knew what she meant by those words. Should I tell her? What good would it do? A companion in my pain? Would that do any good for me, or would it bring me down even more?
"My body was injured, Lutee, and I-I was taken advantage of," my voice became thick and caught in my throat; tears sprang up. Lutee grasped me gently by my shoulders and turned me to look at her. She brushed them away as they fell and wrapped her good arm around me, holding me close to her bosom while rocking back and forth. New sobs and tears quickly came from me; letting off this burden that had been weighing me down felt so good, and yet at the same time the true weight in my soul I would never be able to tell her. "I don't know Lutee-I hate myself."
Lutee made soothing noises as she leaned her head against my own. "Hush now, Ria, hush. For someone so young you have all the troubles in this world on ye small shoulders. I am here for ye, and Lord Sebastian is as well. When I saw him this morning he was not as tense as he usually is. He seemed a bit apart, drifted on his own as some people do when they realize something they do not like, but all the same he was glad he found you, me girl. We are all here for you, Ria. Cry and let it out. You are safe here. Do not hate yourself for something you had no control over."
Safe here? Maybe I was and maybe I wasn't. Would I do what had been running around in my head all this time; let go and just open myself up to Sebastian? After the way I cut into him this very morning my chances did not look very good. But Lutee said he was here for me. It was good to get support from Lutee, to be wrapped in her arms and cry, to pour out my heart to her and know that she was listening, that she cared. Could it be this way with Sebastian? Did he – could he – have another side to him? If I opened myself to him, accepted his apology, would he in turn open to me? Would I be able to see more to him that he was perhaps unwilling to show to everyone else? If this was to be my home now, then I truly should learn more of Sebastian. Unwilling lover I was to him, but he loved me all the same in his way.
I did not want to think these questions anymore. At the moment I was merely content to have Lutee hold me and let me cry.
~ ~ ~
I spent the rest of the day with Lutee. Despite her broken arm, she moved around as if it was nothing, which led me to believe that she really would heal faster than most people did. Lutee, as I had previously thought, was not the only servant in Sebastian's household, just the only one I had seen so far. She was the head servant in the household; first because her age dictated it so and secondly because of her experience. There were two butlers, from my count about five young maids who did not talk to anyone, and three serving men who were as silent as ghosts. Lutee had made another serving girl go to the Upper City to collect the fabrics that were needed for my dresses; it was early evening when she laid the cloth out in front of me in one of the many drawing rooms, took my measurements and began to make designs for my new clothing.
By the time the clock in the sitting room had chimed the hour, Lutee was packing away the material with one of the silent maids and I was ready to sleep the night away on one of the couches. I kept on glancing at the main door from my vantage point, finding myself secretly hoping that any moment Sebastian might come back from wherever he had gone. Catching myself thinking this, I immediately wanted to slap myself across the face. Was I now actually giving in, as my conscious had said? I guess perhaps I was, if I was at least wondering where Sebastian was. Unless he was off feeding on some poor person that had crossed his path, like those people on that fateful night...
I went off to bed with Lutee's help, not bothering to hide the fact that I was tired. She changed and dressed my bandage again with my help. It was silly, actually. Both of us with only one good hand each; yet together we were able to apply the linen. Strange, but I missed having Sebastian dress my wounds. He had done it before and I found that his touch, at least to this respect, was soothing to me. Lutee's touch was kind, but she could be clumsy all the same. Kissing me on the forehead and brushing my hair back, acting like a mother to me, Lutee left my room and closed the door behind her. In the darkness I could hear the rain, which had not let up all day. Dimly I asked myself if Sebastian would come back tonight, and if he did, would he want to see me? All those thoughts went nowhere because when I woke up the next morning and asked one of the maids where Lord Sebastian was, she shrugged her thin shoulders and said she did not know.
It was then that I began to question if those harsh words I had said to Sebastian had done worse to him than I had thought. I still did not feel powerful or just for saying what I did to him; more than anything else I wanted to scream and throw something, to hear something shatter and break to let these emotions out of me. My stomach rolled and I felt queasy; having breakfast did not help me in anyway. Lutee had said that if the rain were to let up then she would have taken me out to see the gardens in the Upper City, but since the weather had not improved from yesterday, it was another day spent in the drawing room. I stood by the window that looked out over the courtyard, watching the raindrops make the cobblestones slick and fill the streets with puddles of water. If one of the industrial workers, who I could see moving beyond the gates the ringed the mansion, was not quick to move out of the way of one of the new steam-powered and horseless carriages, they would be splashed by the contraptions. I leaned my head against the cool windowpane and sighed. I was looking for Sebastian, waiting for him. I wanted to talk to him, building up my resolve. What would I say to him I didn't know, but I just wish he would come back.
"Lutee, did Lord Sebastian say where he was going yesterday?" I slowly curled my right hand into a fist and then relaxed the muscles. The wound was closing up easily with no sign of infection, and there was almost no pain now. "Did he say when he would be back?" My eyes followed one small raindrop to the ground, then another and another until they all seemed to meld together as one.
By gaslight Lutee had been pinning something to a small cushion, a ball of yarn beside her. She looked up from her work and shook her head. "No, the master did not tell me where he went or when he would return. Sometimes he has work that can take him out for a week at a time. He works for the Sarafan, mind ye, and they are the type who can-"
Outside I heard the clatter of horses' hooves on the cobblestones, the sounds of a carriage coming to a halt. Lutee's voice died away as she quickly stood, placing her work down on the couch and coming over to the window beside me. "Well, I was wrong, my dear. Lord Sebastian has come back home." My stomach churned and I would have been sick if I had eaten anything beforehand. My heart began to beat faster, and anxiety washed over me that was holding me tight. I was not afraid anymore but now I was not so sure if I wanted to meet Sebastian face-to-face so soon.
You cannot run anymore, Ria. Sooner is better than later to face a problem, that annoying voice nagged in the back of my mind.
The servants quickly assembled to greet their master back home. Before one of the butlers could open the door for the lord of the mansion Sebastian had from the other side, with enough force that nearly ripped the hinges off. I heard Lutee gasp softly beside me as the butler was nearly ploughed down by Sebastian; the man barely got out of the way in time. The servants bid Sebastian a quiet welcome back to his home, but he acted like they were not even there. He marched pass the other butler, tossing him his cloak in an off-handed manner and stalked up the steps as he took off his skullcap with barely controlled fury. I could see that it was still raining outside as the serving men tried to close the door; they had to give up and one went off to get tools to repair the damage.
"Oh dear," Lutee said as she watched Sebastian disappear onto the second floor, "the lord is in one of his moods again. I suggest that you stay away, Ria, while he is like this."
A large part of me wanted to agree with Lutee; let Sebastian come to me instead of me going to him. No, that would do no good. Turning to Lutee I motioned to her yarn and cushion. "Go back to work then, Lutee, and I will see what the matter with Lord Sebastian is."
"Ria, it would be-"
"Lutee, please," I begged her. "Just leave me be with him. Nothing bad will happen." Or so I hoped, I finished mentally. Sebastian could change his moods swiftly. Before Lutee could say anything else I had walked out of the drawing room and up the stairs, quickly moving down the hall and to Sebastian's chambers before my strength left me. I might not get another chance at this. I did not know what I was doing; that was typical of me. I acted first and then thought things over later. Well this time it would be different. I was not going to be scared by the vampire.
Raising my good hand, licking my dry lips and trying to bring my heart back to normal; I knocked softly on the door. When there was no reply from within I turned the knob and pushed the door open slightly. "Sebastian?" I whispered hesitantly as I peered in. "Sebastian, are you in here?"
A stupid question.
He was at the far end of the bedroom, leaning over a large desk that held papers and unrolled maps on its surface. The vampire's back was to me and I visibly saw him hunch over even further when he heard my voice. The shadows cast over the room by the candles he had lit gave a threatening presence to me. Opening the door wide enough for me to slid through; I closed it behind me and waited for him to speak, not moving from where I stood. The hostility coming from him filled the air and I quickly said the first thing that came to my mind. "Welcome home, Sebastian."
A slight turn, a quick glance from him, then once again he went back to viewing his papers. The only noise was the rain hitting the glass; outside it was coming down in torrents. For a horrible moment I imagined Sebastian would say nothing, do nothing, and once again act like I was not even here. Then, in a dismissing tone that he would have given to one of his factory workers, Sebastian said "I never expected to hear that from you, Ria."
"What do you mean by that?" I walked over to his side, looking at his cold face.
"Welcome home. You used the word 'home' in one of your sentences," he spoke tersely, not looking at me.
"You said that this was my home now," I answered quietly, acting as if I did not hear the edge in his voice. I would not argue with Sebastian. The tension needed to be broken. I looked down at my injured hand and extended it towards him. "My bandage came loose. Can you tighten it for me?"
He turned around, those eyes narrowing at me. Looking at my hand and giving a contemplative look, Sebastian's hands quickly undid the cloth and gave himself a few moments to look over my wound, then redid the dressing. "You should learn to do it by yourself, little Ria."
"I suppose, but you do a better job than I could, Sebastian." My gaze turned to the maps and letters he was looking at. Sebastian quickly interposed himself between the objects of my attention and myself. "What are those all about? Is that the reason why you were gone overnight and why you are angry?"
Sebastian folded his arms over his chest and frowned. "Why would it matter to you where I have been? It does not concern you in the slightest of my work and you would not even begin to understand what I do. And when did it become your concern as to why I am angry? Oh my, did you finally realize that the monster possesses some feelings to him, Ria?"
The words stung me, just as the words I had said to Sebastian must have stung him. "I was just asking, Sebastian. Can I just ask?" One of the candles gutted out of existence suddenly, the flame snuffed out in the melted wax with the smoke curling upwards towards the ceiling.
"Why should you care, Ria? You did not seem to care when I gave you my apology," the vampire lord hissed at me. His muscles seemed to coil up like a snake; those eyes that suddenly went yellow in the dim light and looked at me like a hunter would look at his prey. I sat myself down on a divan quickly, my gaze riveted to the carpeted floor. Now or never Ria, I reminded myself. Now or never.
"I came here to talk to you about that, Sebastian. For the past day I-I was thinking over your apology and I spoke hastily, too quickly in turn. I just wanted to say to you that..." My voice faltered. I could feel Sebastian's eyes on me, boring holes through my flesh. I was losing my confidence and everything else. "This can change, Sebastian. If I am to live here with you, should we at least try and talk to one another if we will be seeing each other every day? Most people do that sort of thing, Sebastian."
The vampire gave a cold and mirthless chuckle. "But we are not like most people, are we Ria?" he countered, flashing his fangs in the candlelight. "Human and vampire, one with a cold but beating heart and another with one dead but perhaps seeking warmth. Unwilling lover and one willing enough. Someone who gives a rare apology and another who throws it back." He leaned up against the desk. Not like most people, little Ria."
"Things can change, Sebastian."
"Really," he mocked at me. "And how do you think that will happen?"
Giving a sigh I answered him. "By talking."
Sebastian leaned his head back and began to chuckle at my statement. Giving me a glance with eyes that were filled with a cynical mirth, the vampire gave a harsh laugh that echoed around his chamber. It was a cry that sent a shiver down my spine. "By talking, you say?" Sebastian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "So you want to also know then why I am in such a foul state?" He waited for me to nod, and when I did he continued. "It is because of many things, little Ria, things that I would not trouble your mind with. But," Sebastian's voice turned into a whisper, "I bring back bad news for you all the same. And it does me no good that sooner or later I will have to speak it to you."
"What news, Sebastian?"
"My little Ria," the lord of the Industrial Quarter's eyes seemed to mesmerize me. "Your mother is dead."