Police Plaza, Haven City, The Lower Elements

"Well, well. If it isn't the raunchy Captain Short in for work," commented Foaly, whirring out of the Ops Booth on the swivel chair digi-track that he'd had specially inset in Police Plaza.

  "It's lovely to see you, Foaly," the LEP captain commented casually, choosing to ignore the pointed looks that the centaur was very clearly sending her. "Oh, and by the way, I think your arse is looking a little bigger already…"

  Foaly sniffed at the reference of his tendency not to exercise. After all, that was what the digi-track was for. "I think you're forgetting something."

  Holly actually had to stop walking down the hall to listen. "And what would that be?"

  Foaly adopted a grim expression. "As of last night you are guilty of openly trying to flirt with me. Me! The technical genius of the LEP. And, if I may remind you, you are but a lowly captain. Guilty as charged, eh?"

   Holly paused and backtracked a little so that she was standing directly in front of the centaur. She melded her cinnamon-colored features into a compassionate, understanding look, and, nodding, said in a very kind and helpful way:

  "Go flirt with your arse, pony boy."

  Foaly's mock-outraged noises followed her down the hall into her cubicle until she slammed the door a bit more loudly than was necessary. Almost immediately Foaly's face flickered onto her screen.

  "So," he grinned.

  Holly opened her mouth to say something, and then stopped and bit the inside of her cheek. Foaly was almost unbearable sometimes.

  "I've got the update on Mister Mulch," said the centaur vaguely, shuffling about a mess of paperwork on one of his many desks.

  Holly was immediately alert. "Yes?"

  The centaur put on an annoyingly superior face. "Give nothin', get nothin'. I've got a couple of questions for ya."

  Holly clenched a strand of her newly-grown hair in her hand. "Shoot."

  "First of all, are you busy Saturday night?"

  "Foaly!"

  "Okay, okay. What's up with your hair?"

  A bit of Holly's natural feminine vanity kicked in and she clutched the said tresses protectively. "What, don't you like it?"

  Foaly whistled. "Hell, yes, but it's definitely a change from 'no go, no flow' masculine LEP officer that we're all used to seeing."

  Holly tightened her facial muscles and stared moodily at the screen. What could she say? "I got… tired of looking the same."

  "Really."

  Holly rolled her eyes. "No, Foaly, I got a date for the first time in my life and I really wanted to please the guy."

  Foaly frowned. "Hey, hey, hey, that sounds plausible enough to me!"

  Holly gaped at the screen. "That's what you thought happened? Oh gods, Foaly, since when have I ever tried to please a man?"

  Foaly sniffed. "You do it for Julius all the time."

  Holly did not like the way this conversation was going. A bystander just passing by could get the entirely wrong impression. "Yes, he's my commanding officer. I do want to have a normal life here Foaly, you know – salary, home, the works."

  Foaly twitched a finger counsellingly. "How about a husband, and kids – the works?"

  Holly blushed at the thought. She didn't know why. "Oh come on Foaly, I'm never getting married. You know that. Be reasonable, pony boy – no girl can juggle marriage, little… babies and the LEP all at once, I'd go crazy. Besides, the LEP is my life. It's what I do."

  "I know what you do, Holly." Foaly looked like he thought he was the biggest smart guy under the world. "Speaking of girls going crazy with marriage and the LEP, it seems that Corporal Frond is going the whole ten miles. She's tying the knot next month; all of the LEP's invited. I, of course, will be attending. Maybe I can write a book about the sad, sorry sappiness of it all."

  "Frond's already crazy," Holly murmured. Corporal Lili Frond was the only other female LEP officer besides, of course, herself. Frond was nothing more than a blonde bimbo with false academy scores. Of course, she got all the easy assignments, such as video warnings and paperwork. Anyone against female officers in the LEP just had to present Corporal Frond and the rest would be history.

  "Back to the subject," she said hastily.

  Foaly rolled his eyes searchingly. "Ah yes, ah yes – Mulch Diggums. Well, he's out. Free. Released. Overnight the deputy lawyer got together with one of the LEP's service attorneys and figured out that, because of the helpful search date on the L.A. case, and all of the credit given to him because of help on the Artemis Fowl cases, he's innocent, free as a bird. They released him this morning."

  Holly did a double take. This couldn't be possible. Mulch Diggums was free? What was the LEP thinking? They would have their hands full with this, all of them. Knowing the convict, he would probably immediately set up another black marketplace or go and market fairy gold.

  As if to read her thoughts, Foaly spoke.

  "I didn't get the chance to see our favorite little friend before her was released, but two weeks ago, when he first came into LEP prison, he had a little surgery that he knows nothing about. A micro tracking device was embedded in his ankle, sewn in under the skin. We know his whereabouts 24/7. If he starts doing something suspicious, then we can send an agent up there to bring him down here so that he can cool his feet in a nice cell for a while." Foaly checked a com-screen. "Currently he is in the south of France."

  Holly did another double take. "You mean underneath, right?"

  "Nope. He's a free dwarf now. He took a shuttle up E28 and left the terminal shortly. The LEP guidebook states that he had every right to do so. Sorry, Holly, but there ain't nothing you can do about him now. I can't do anything either, unfortunately. Root is having a coronary over this. He took the morning off, thank the gods. Otherwise there would be heads rolling all over Police Plaza."

  Holly flushed out the image on the screen with a little wave and then concentrated on her thoughts. Mulch Diggums –released? She didn't like the symbolism of it. Wasn't there going to be a ton of controversy over this? Wasn't there going to be –

  Holly concentrated and sighed. Politics were too much for one girl to handle – best leave it to Foaly and Commander Root – well, no. She wouldn't go that far. It was best to leave politics and such to Foaly.

  She ran her hands absently through her hair. Already she loved it – Captain Short squirmed. As much as she tried, she couldn't help but be a little feminine. She was, after all, a girl.

  "Oh well," she said to her reflection in the plasma screen. "There are some things you just can't help." It was only a little while later that it occurred to her that she did not know what she referring to.