Every Saga needs a Prologue.
INT. LIBRARY
- DAY
The narrator
Ace Trax sits on a couch with a huge book, titled "Lord of the Rings: The
Fellowship of Quinn."
In front
of him an audience has gathered.
He starts
to read out of the book.
ACE TRAX:
Back on in
the mystical old Lawndale Earth.
Several magical
rings were made.
3 Rings for
the Lanes, Extraordinaire Artists, who never made big money.
7 Rings for
the Sportjocks whose peak in life only takes place in middle school, high
school and college.
9 Rings for
the Brains doomed to live until they die.
But they were
all deceived…
I know a little
Jewish jewellery in Geneva, where you can get exactly the same rings for
only…
AUDIENCE:
Continue please
with the story!
ACE TRAX:
Okay. There
was that other Ring, a Master Ring that controls all others. Created In
the Land of MTV in the fires of the Tom Green Show, the Dark Principle
Li…
AUDIENCE:
Ace Trax!
You are over-doing it with the humour, not everybody like such mad cap.
ACE TRAX: (sights)
Okay. History
became legend, legend became myth, myth became a silly name for a perfume
for…
AUDIENCE:
This is getting
dull. Could you skip this, so we can come directly to the scene in which
the Fashion Club rub each other with olive oil?
ACE TRAX:
There is no
*such* scene. You are confusing this with that famous LOTR Slash in which
the hobbits get extremely sticky and oily...
This here
is a clean, proper Daria-LOTR Crossover Fusion…
AUDIENCE:
This is so
boring. Let's forget this c**p. Where we can find that particular LOTR
Slash?
ACE TRAX:
Wait, wait!
Don't leave. I just strike me that there is a tiny scene in which the Fashion
club DO rub each other in with oil.
AUDIENCE:
Okay then
continue, but without the boring stuff.
ACE TRAX:
Okay I do
the fast version:
At the slopes
of the Great Strawberry Volcano, the Last Alliance of Brains and Lanes
fought for the freedom of Lawndale Earth.
AUDIENCE:
Hang on, just
a minute. What happened to Tom Green?
ACE TRAX:
Shhht, you
are ruining the whole ambiance.
AUDIENCE:
Hey you brought
up the Tom Green thing!
ACE TRAX: (loud)
HUGE BATTLE.
QUEEN HELEN
DIES.
DARK PRINCIPLE
LI DIES.
AMY GETS THE
RING.
RING CORRUPS
AMY.
AMY DIES.
RING LOST.
VALLUM GETS
THE RING.
RING CORRUPS
VALLUM.
RING LOST.
JAKE GETS
RINGS.
RING CORRUPS
JAKE TO CHEAT THE TV- CABLE COMPANY.