The Fellowship of Quinn.
Part IV:
The obligatory Daria/Trent shipper bit.
EXT. HILL – NIGHT – FULL MOON
The Fashion Club stumbles, falls and rolls down the hill.
DARIA: (quotes)
High-heels, deep falls.
QUINN:
Ewww, I am dead. I must have spread my ankle.
SANDI:
Me too.
STACY:
Me too.
TIFFANY:
Me toooooo.
DARIA:
Gah! Collective ankles-spreading syndrome. Occurring in any action
film, which contains bimbos!
In moments like these a hero should save us in the last minute.
In an instant a car pulls up. It is Trent's car.
TRENT: (looking out the car-window)
Hey Daria.
DARIA: (surprised)
Trent?
TRENT:
Just on my way home from the rehearsals… (glances to the Fashion
Club) Your friends?
DARIA:
Please don't use the f-word.
TRENT:
Okay. Need a ride?
DARIA:
Sure. Why not? Fighting through the night against the forces of evil
somehow lost the appeal to me.
TRENT: (laugh-cough)
Good one Daria. Get in.
EXT. LANDSCAPE – DAWN
Meanwhile the remaining 7 other repulsive figures on motorbikes
chase Trent's car.
TRENT VOICE OVER:
7 Wraiths behind us. Where are the 2 others?
DARIA VOICE OVER:
In the digestive system of worms.
TRENT VOICE OVER: (impressed)
Uh-huh.
EXT. LANDSCAPE – RIVER – MORNING
The car-chase continues to a river. The stream has so little water
so Trent is able to drive through it.
Once on the other side, Trent stops the car.
INT. TRENT'S CAR – MORNING
TRENT: (he pulls out a cell phone)
Let me handle this.
He dials a number and speaks into the phone.
TRENT:
Hey… It is Trent… you remember that you still own me a favour… yes,
I just want that you put in a commercial break now… Yeah… Okay, bye then.
The Fashion Club and Daria see out the window how the motorcycles
drive towards them.
But in the middle of the river, TV-Wraiths hear a noise; they stop,
wondering what it is.
The noise becomes louder until they see a huge tide, which flushes
them away.
TRENT:
I now a guy, who is working for a cable company. He has owned me a
favour.
DARIA: (confused)
Huh? And you ask for a commercial break?
TRENT:
Well, during a break the viewers go for a pee…
DARIA: (concludes)
And then they all flush the toilet at the same time.
TRENT:
Exactly.
Daria gives Trent a Mona-Lisa-smile. He wasn't such a lazy slacker
after all.
Of course the whole romantic ambiance was ruined by having the Fashion
Club on the backseat.
SANDI: (addressing to Trent)
Excuse me: Mister, who knows that girl who looks like Quinn's cousin,
but who isn't really Quinn's cousin.
Could you kindly drive us to the next gas station?
STACY:
Yes. Sandi needs to go to the ladies room.
Sandi gives Stacy a look with which you can kill.
STACY: (wimps under Sandi's glare)
Eep! And me too.
EXT. CASA LANE - EVENING
The place lies idyllically in a canyon. It looks like an artist
resort, consisting of several building, which look like variations of the
original House of the Lanes.
INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - GUEST HOUSE OF THE LANES - EVENING
Jake and Quinn are alone. She sits on the bed, while Jake is trying
to pull something out of his pants.
JAKE:
I want to give you my old trusty sword.
Quinn looks at Jake in total disgusted horror.
But then she sees how Jake pulls a metal sword out.
QUINN:
Oh! Oh! Oh, yes, yes of course. Aha, that kind of sword… I mean… Thank
you for this gift.
JAKE: (gives her another present)
And here is a pretty thing, Quinn: Mithril. As light as a feather,
and as hard as dragon-scales.
QUINN: (sceptic)
You don't expect me to wear *that* colour in autumn.
Jake takes a glimpse at the One Ring, which Quinn has attached to herself as a necklace.
JAKE:
Oh, my old ring. Can I hold it for a last time?
QUINN:
Sure.
Jake takes the ring, becomes all frizzy and starts barking
JAKE:
GIVE IT TO ME! ... IT'S MINE... MY OWN... MY PRECIOUS!
He jumps on her and tries to pull the One Ring from her neck, while doing that, he is moving up and down on top of Quinn.
JAKE:
GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME!
QUINN:
EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW!
In that moment the door opens and the rest of the Fashion Club, who
are carrying olive oil, enters.
Finding them in that very, very compromising position.
STACY: (disgusted)
EWWWWWWW.
TIFFANY:
EWWWWW… Aren't they related?
SANDI: (disgusted)
EWWWWWWW. Quinn, what your family needs, is some serious counselling.
Totally ashamed Jake gets off Quinn. He starts to sob.
JAKE:
I am sorry that I have brought this upon you, kiddo. And I am sorry
that... you must bear this burden. I am sorry for everything!
QUINN: (she puts her hand on his shoulder)
Never mind. Calm down. Everything is forgotten and forgiven.
JAKE: (stops sobbing)
Really?
QUINN: (smiling)
Of course!
By the way can you give me some money for new shoes, which would fit
to the Mithril?
JAKE: (he gets out his wallet)
Sure kiddo.
INT. BALCONY – MAIN HOUSE OF THE LANES - EVENING
There is a little cocktail party for several delegates of the people
of Lawndale Earth.
Among them are Lanes, Brains and Sportjocks. In their middle is
DeMartino, who is just finishing a story.
DEMARTINO:
…and *SO* I escaped.
(noticing that nobody had listen to his story)
IS THERE ANYONE LISTENING TO ME?
DARIA: (passing by)
I think you should have got used to it, I did.
DeMartino walks up to the grand dame of the Casa Lane: Amanda.
AMANDA:
The time of the Lanes is over. We are moving to the west. Who will
you look to, when we are gone?
The sport-jocks?
DEMARTINO:
It is Brains we have to BLESS our hope.
AMANDA:
The Brains? The Brains are weak. I was there the day the strength of
the Brains failed.
I was there 3000 years ago.
DEMARTINO:
3000 years!??
AMANDA:
Well actually it was in the 70's, but it seems like ages to me.
BEGIN FLASHBACK
INT. GREAT STRAWBERRY VOLCANO
Amy and Amanda (younger, and wearing seventies-style flares) are
standing on a cliff, beneath them is molten lava. Amy holds the ring.
AMANDA:
Cast it in. Destroy it!
AMY: (staring manically at the One Ring)
Uhm well… Hey, look it's Sonny and Cher!
She points at a wall. Amanda turns to that direction.
AMANDA: (excited)
Where? Where?
Amanda turns back to Amy and sees how she is running out the volcano with the One Ring.
AMANDA: (shouts)
AMY!
END FLASHBACK
AMANDA:
It should have ended that day but evil was allowed to endure.
DEMARTINO:
Yes, these darn flares are now AGAIN in fashion.
Amanda, why didn't you just TRACK her down? Beat the One Ring out of
her. And throw it IN yourself?
AMANDA:
You know, if you try to hold a butterfly tightly in your hand, it will
die. You have to let it go. And if it comes back, it is truly yours, but
if doesn't, it never really was.
DEMARTINO:
SO it is the BRAINS we have to bless our hope.
AMANDA:
There is no strength left in the world of Brains. They are scattered,
divided, leaderless.
DEMARTINO:
There is ONE, who can unite them. ONE who could reclaim the throne
of the College.
AMANDA:
But she has turn from that path a long time ago and has chosen exile.
She hid for some years in a refrigerator box.
CUT TO CLOSE-UP OF DARIA
INT. HUGE BOX – EVENING
Daria sits in the box and reads a book; she gets interrupted by
Trent who opens the top of the box.
TRENT:
Hey Daria.
DARIA: (surprised)
Trent?
TRENT:
Want to go for walk in the garden with me?
DARIA VOICE OVER:
Pass me a guitar string, so I can kill myself first.
DARIA:
Uh-huh.
EXT. GARDEN OF THE CASA LANE – NIGHT
Romantic setting with Daria and Trent, who are standing on a little
bridge, beneath them a small river, upon them clear sky full of moonlight.
Astonishingly inoffensive "Enya"-music is heard.
TRENT:
Do you remember when we first met?
DARIA VOICE OVER:
I thought I had strayed into a dream.
DARIA:
Yeah.
TRENT:
Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now.
You are Amy's heir, not Amy herself.
DARIA VOICE OVER:
But the same blood flows in my veins. The same weakness.
DARIA:
Yeah.
TRENT:
Your time will come. You will face the same evil, and you will defeat
it.
He caresses Daria's head. She starts to blush slowly while his hands run through her hair.
TRENT:
Do you remember, what I promised to you at that concert?
DARIA VOICE OVER:
You said you would bind yourself to me, forsaking a slacker life...
but you were totally drunk then.
DARIA:
Yeah.
TRENT:
I know that I was totally drunk then. But now I am sober now. And I
want to say you this:
I still hold to that:
I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of
this world alone.
Trent takes of his medallion and puts it in Daria's hand
DARIA: (blushes more)
You can't give me that.
TRENT:
It is my decision who I give it to…like my hearth… hey, that is a good
song-text.
(into Daria's eyes)
I choose a solid life. I go steady with you and follow you to College.
Daria's knees just went soft.
Trent put his arms around Daria and leans over to her, pressing
his lips…
Jane walks into them.
JANE:
Whoops! Didn't mean to interrupt.
Trent let go of Daria.
TRENT:
No, that is okay.
(towards Daria)
See you later, Daria.
He leaves them.
JANE:
You must admit that you are very attached to him, since the first time
you met him.
DARIA:
Shut up.
JANE:
If I recall correctly it was that day you accidentally walked into
the bathroom, when he was just coming out from the shower.
DARIA: (getting red)
Go to hell, Jane.
JANE:
Sorry for interfering previously, but see it from the bright side:
DARIA: (still red)
Huh?
JANE:
When you evaluate Trent's last sentence, then there is a good chance,
that he will pay a nightly visit to a certain girl with a red face
DARIA: (getting dark red and runs away)
Aaahhhh!