Chapter 13: Allenby's Revenge
A spotlight comes down onto the G Gundam announcer, Stalker.
Stalker: Men and women of all ages, in the past couple of -
Sayla: Hey!
Stalker: What the . . . ?
Female voices can be heard rioting from the darkness surrounding Stalker.
Relena: What's with this "men and women" business?
Christina: Yeah, why can't we have "women and men"?
Four: Is there just something so terribly wrong with that?
Stalker: Well . . . uh . . . no . . . I -
Haman can be seen tackling Stalker. The spotlight guys out while we hear Stalker getting his ass kicked in the background. The light comes back on, showing Aina Sakhalin in a snazzy female suit.
Aina: LADIES and gentlemen, welcome to the next Chapter of the G-Pub. In the past few chapters you've watched as we OWNED the testosterone jocks of the pub that we're forced to call "men".
Rain (from the darkness): From "personal" experience some of them don't exactly have a manly size . . .
Aina: And we will admit, the men even got as far as beating us a few times, but we all know those sexist pigs cheated the whole time, right? So stay tuned, and be sure to order you're G-Pub Women's T-Shirt. That's 1-800-GPG- URLS, 1-800-GPG-URLS.
We're now taken to the pub . . . the boys and girls come out of the machines after yet another rematch. The boys were barely victorious, but celebrate their second win by dancing and cha-cha-ing down the pub. They even start to do the Macarena.
Allenby (To the girls): THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT TAKING ME!
Haman: I know, maybe we can have a rematch with them?
Allenby: NO! I will defeat you all! Forget about boys vs. girls now it's . . .
Stalker: ALLENBY VS. THE WORLD!!!
The gaming devices are lined up in the G-Pub, countless numbers of them to the point where some are actually set up on the pavement in the alley out back because of the lack of room inside.
A crowd has begun to gather and are patiently waiting to watch the show begin on the large football stadium-style big screens that have been erected out front. Paptimus' boys are out in front selling tickets and getting bets ready.
Stalker steps up in front of the crowd onto a makeshift stage.
Stalker: Ladies and Gentlemen, now for your viewing pleasure we present to you the fight of the century! In this corner, weighing in at ninety-three pounds, our challenger, ALLENBY BEARDSLY!!!!!
Crowd: YAAAAY!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
Stalker: And in this corner, so many other characters from the Gundam Universe with a combined weight of 12,027 pounds the defending champions, the guys and the girls!
Crowd: YAAAAY!!!! WHOOOO!!!
Stalker: Now it will be just a moment before our fighters deposit their quarters. I've been given the signal that all change has been secured. Now the tense decision, the players are selecting their combat mobile suits. We're seeing some lovely selections being made. And....all right I've gotten word that all selections have been locked in! And now to determine who gets the call for the stage, a deciding coin toss. Representing for Allenby Beardsly . . . is Allenby Beardsly . . .
Crowd: YEAH!!! WHOOT! YAAAAY!
Stalker: . . . and representing for the boys and girls, the star of Zeta Gundam, Camille Bidan!
Camille walks up to the podium wearing a shirt similar to Four's.
Stalker: Can you tell us the purpose of you and Four's shirts, Camille?
Camille: We're representing for our new Trojan Condom commercial! We're showing off the new line of Gundam condoms! We've even got different flavors, like Gelgoog Grape, Strike Strawberry, "Blue"berry Destiny, and others! We even have I-Field Barrier for extra protection and Leo Thin Size for extra stimulation, and coming soon - RB-79 Ball Size for those of you that haven't exactly got the size the rest of us do and Big Zam size for those of us like me . . .
Stalker: Alright! Let's get on with it! Allenby since you're the challenger, you call the toss.
Allenby: Heads!
The quarter is thrown high into the air and it spirals gracefully, glinting in the evening sunlight. It begins to ark back towards the ground, gravity tugging at it like a fallen colony dropped by an evil organization lead by a man wearing some form of mask, and as it bounces slightly after hitting the ground, the crowd goes silent in anticipation . . .
Stalker: IT'S TAILS!!!! Things are not starting out on the up and up for our young challenger. Camille where do you plan to fight.
Camille: The stage for the Gryps War. Gryps 2.
Stalker: Aaaaaaaaaall right! Now if you two would please return to your respective gaming devices we can get this event underway.
Camille and Allenby walk back to their respective game pods, as Heero walks past The Red Comets pod, he leans out
Char: I thought I told you to pick A Bao A Qu! You moron!
Camille: Save it, Quattro . . .
Char: You little . . . !
The guys hold back Char as Camille gets into his pod.
Stalker: All right all contestants are locked in! It's time to get things started! Gundam World Tournament! Ready! GO!!!
The game program begins, all of the pilots are enveloped into the game.
Allenby (in Nobel Gundam): All right who is gonna' be first?
Mark (in G Saviour Space Mode): I will finish this myself!
G Saviour charges!
G Saviour explodes!
Scirroco: THREE SECONDS!!! Did anybody have three seconds?
Everyone pulls out their betting tickets.
Seabook (in Gundam F91): Me! Yeah, I win fifty bucks!!!
The battle begins to heat up, everyone charges towards Allenby and the destruction ensues. Zechs charges in the Tallgeese III, he fires the mega particle attack only to have Nobel completely dodge his blast. As the blast flies past her it hits the charging Jagd Doga piloted by Gyunei eliminating him from the game, and Allenby finishes the Tallgeese III with her beam ribbon.
She turns and grabs the Geymark piloted by Chara Soon and flings it over her shoulder into the Pallas Athene. They both explode taking the nearby Altron Custom with them. Aina charges in with the Apsarus and fires the mega-particle cannon. Allenby sees it coming and is long out of the way. The blast wipes several suits as Nobel Gundam lands on top of the Apsaras and rips off its head.
Char surveys the damage from a safe vantage point.
Char (in Nightingale): Dude, I think we are getting our butts kicked.
Amuro (in Hi-Nu): Yeah, I thought about just sitting back and blasting her with my funnels, but she ripped them apart with her bare hands.
Char: You don't say, well its time for Operation Cannon Fodder.
Amuro: What?
Char: Puru clones, ASSEMBLE!
A wall of Puru clones in Mass Produced Qubeleys assemble in front of Char.
Char: HA, HA, HA, CHARGE!
Char and the Puru's charge. Allenby begins fighting through the clones but cannot destroy them fast enough to stop Char's attacks. The pummeling continues until Char runs out of ammo and he begins throwing mass-produced Qubeleys at Nobel. After a few minutes he runs out of expendables and is forced to retreat.
Char: Run away!
Amuro: Well now what?
Char: I don't now. I'm out of people I can kill. Time for me to improv . . .
Amuro: Umm, I just got a message from Judua. He says that over eighty percent of out fighting force has already been defeated.
Char: Crap! Damn this video game simulation! (He sighs) I'm afraid to ask, but, who's left?
Amuro: Us, Domon, Asia, Heero, Camille, Treize, Duo . . . wait never mind Camille is gone now, Paptimus . . and another I can't identify . . .
Char: That's all we need.
Amuro: What do you have up your sleeve?
Char: Stall her. I'll be back.
The Nightingale flies off.
Amuro: What a wimp, oh well . . . Everybody listen up, its time for a last ditch effort. Charge!!!
Every one charges in a frenzy. God Gundam and Master Gundam both fire the Sekiha Tenkyoken, but Nobel thrusts up and they destroy each other. Deathscyhte Hell Custom appears behind Nobel and swings its scythe. He misses and hits the V2 Assault Gundam, slashing it in two.
The F91 fires its VSBR's but Nobel Gundam turns sideways and passes between the beams without harm. The shots continue on and destroy the active cloak wings on the Deathscythe, rendering it immobile with the loss of its wing- based thrusters. Heero fires the Wing Zero's Buster Rifle but Nobel pushes the Deathscythe in between them and utilizes it as a human shield, absorbing the blast and destroying it.
She boosts forward and knocks the gun upwards as Heero tries to fire again. The blast hits The O and rips off its lower half. Amuro rushes forward and Nobel Gundam swings the beam ribbon at him, Amuro dodges and grabs Allenby's arm and twists the Nobel around putting it in an arm lock, rendering it helpless.
Amuro: Heero, now shoot her!
Heero: Roger that.
Allenby: Argh!
Heero: Keep your hold on her, Ray.
The Hi-Nu keeps the Nobel Gundam locked. Heero aims the Twin Buster Rifle.
Heero: . . . Locked on target . . .
Char: Okay guys I'm done here, watch this, I'll beat her!
All is quiet or a moment as Heero adjusts the aim on his dual buster rifle, and then without warning a HUGE beam coming from the Gryps 2 colony cannon fires!
Char: Feel the wrath of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam's Boom Boom Colony Cannon!
Amuro: Chaaaaar! You imbecile!
Char: Ph33r teh Titans' Boom Boom Colony Cannon!
All the remaining suits are engulfed in the massive beam of light, when the fire subsides, only the Nobel Gundam remains intact, shielded from the attack by what once was the Hi-Nu Gundam
Allenby: Hee, hee, your the only one left Mr. Ped Comet.
Char: That's it I'm gonna' get you!
Char begins to repeatedly fires the Gryps 2 Colony Cannon insanely each time missing Allenby.
Char: DIE, DIE, DIE!!!
Libra's reactor over-loads and the entire space station explodes, taking Char down with it.
Allenby: Ha, ha I win. I win. I'm the best!
Stalker: No, don't get excited yet Ms. Beardsly, there is one opponent left.
Allenby: WHAT! Where are you, you coward!
'Mysterious pilot': (Snort)
Allenby: Where are you, show yourself!
Out of no where Nobel Gundam is struck and sent flying.
Allenby: Ahhhhhhhhhh! What was that? Come on you!
The white flash returns and strikes Allenby again pushing her into Earth's atmosphere. As Nobel Gundam begins to fall to Earth burning up, she catches a glance at her opponent.
Allenby: Noooooo! How could I lose to you! Noooo!
Nobel Gundam explodes.
Allenby storms out of her pod into a cheering crowd of Gundam characters all gathered around one pod waiting for the champion to step out. As they cheer the door opens and he steps out . . .
Stalker: And here he is ladies and gentlemen, the champion of the World Gundam Tournament, you're favorite horse from G Gundam, Fuunsaiki!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
Allenby: . . . I can't believe it happened again . . .
To Be Continued . . .
A spotlight comes down onto the G Gundam announcer, Stalker.
Stalker: Men and women of all ages, in the past couple of -
Sayla: Hey!
Stalker: What the . . . ?
Female voices can be heard rioting from the darkness surrounding Stalker.
Relena: What's with this "men and women" business?
Christina: Yeah, why can't we have "women and men"?
Four: Is there just something so terribly wrong with that?
Stalker: Well . . . uh . . . no . . . I -
Haman can be seen tackling Stalker. The spotlight guys out while we hear Stalker getting his ass kicked in the background. The light comes back on, showing Aina Sakhalin in a snazzy female suit.
Aina: LADIES and gentlemen, welcome to the next Chapter of the G-Pub. In the past few chapters you've watched as we OWNED the testosterone jocks of the pub that we're forced to call "men".
Rain (from the darkness): From "personal" experience some of them don't exactly have a manly size . . .
Aina: And we will admit, the men even got as far as beating us a few times, but we all know those sexist pigs cheated the whole time, right? So stay tuned, and be sure to order you're G-Pub Women's T-Shirt. That's 1-800-GPG- URLS, 1-800-GPG-URLS.
We're now taken to the pub . . . the boys and girls come out of the machines after yet another rematch. The boys were barely victorious, but celebrate their second win by dancing and cha-cha-ing down the pub. They even start to do the Macarena.
Allenby (To the girls): THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT TAKING ME!
Haman: I know, maybe we can have a rematch with them?
Allenby: NO! I will defeat you all! Forget about boys vs. girls now it's . . .
Stalker: ALLENBY VS. THE WORLD!!!
The gaming devices are lined up in the G-Pub, countless numbers of them to the point where some are actually set up on the pavement in the alley out back because of the lack of room inside.
A crowd has begun to gather and are patiently waiting to watch the show begin on the large football stadium-style big screens that have been erected out front. Paptimus' boys are out in front selling tickets and getting bets ready.
Stalker steps up in front of the crowd onto a makeshift stage.
Stalker: Ladies and Gentlemen, now for your viewing pleasure we present to you the fight of the century! In this corner, weighing in at ninety-three pounds, our challenger, ALLENBY BEARDSLY!!!!!
Crowd: YAAAAY!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
Stalker: And in this corner, so many other characters from the Gundam Universe with a combined weight of 12,027 pounds the defending champions, the guys and the girls!
Crowd: YAAAAY!!!! WHOOOO!!!
Stalker: Now it will be just a moment before our fighters deposit their quarters. I've been given the signal that all change has been secured. Now the tense decision, the players are selecting their combat mobile suits. We're seeing some lovely selections being made. And....all right I've gotten word that all selections have been locked in! And now to determine who gets the call for the stage, a deciding coin toss. Representing for Allenby Beardsly . . . is Allenby Beardsly . . .
Crowd: YEAH!!! WHOOT! YAAAAY!
Stalker: . . . and representing for the boys and girls, the star of Zeta Gundam, Camille Bidan!
Camille walks up to the podium wearing a shirt similar to Four's.
Stalker: Can you tell us the purpose of you and Four's shirts, Camille?
Camille: We're representing for our new Trojan Condom commercial! We're showing off the new line of Gundam condoms! We've even got different flavors, like Gelgoog Grape, Strike Strawberry, "Blue"berry Destiny, and others! We even have I-Field Barrier for extra protection and Leo Thin Size for extra stimulation, and coming soon - RB-79 Ball Size for those of you that haven't exactly got the size the rest of us do and Big Zam size for those of us like me . . .
Stalker: Alright! Let's get on with it! Allenby since you're the challenger, you call the toss.
Allenby: Heads!
The quarter is thrown high into the air and it spirals gracefully, glinting in the evening sunlight. It begins to ark back towards the ground, gravity tugging at it like a fallen colony dropped by an evil organization lead by a man wearing some form of mask, and as it bounces slightly after hitting the ground, the crowd goes silent in anticipation . . .
Stalker: IT'S TAILS!!!! Things are not starting out on the up and up for our young challenger. Camille where do you plan to fight.
Camille: The stage for the Gryps War. Gryps 2.
Stalker: Aaaaaaaaaall right! Now if you two would please return to your respective gaming devices we can get this event underway.
Camille and Allenby walk back to their respective game pods, as Heero walks past The Red Comets pod, he leans out
Char: I thought I told you to pick A Bao A Qu! You moron!
Camille: Save it, Quattro . . .
Char: You little . . . !
The guys hold back Char as Camille gets into his pod.
Stalker: All right all contestants are locked in! It's time to get things started! Gundam World Tournament! Ready! GO!!!
The game program begins, all of the pilots are enveloped into the game.
Allenby (in Nobel Gundam): All right who is gonna' be first?
Mark (in G Saviour Space Mode): I will finish this myself!
G Saviour charges!
G Saviour explodes!
Scirroco: THREE SECONDS!!! Did anybody have three seconds?
Everyone pulls out their betting tickets.
Seabook (in Gundam F91): Me! Yeah, I win fifty bucks!!!
The battle begins to heat up, everyone charges towards Allenby and the destruction ensues. Zechs charges in the Tallgeese III, he fires the mega particle attack only to have Nobel completely dodge his blast. As the blast flies past her it hits the charging Jagd Doga piloted by Gyunei eliminating him from the game, and Allenby finishes the Tallgeese III with her beam ribbon.
She turns and grabs the Geymark piloted by Chara Soon and flings it over her shoulder into the Pallas Athene. They both explode taking the nearby Altron Custom with them. Aina charges in with the Apsarus and fires the mega-particle cannon. Allenby sees it coming and is long out of the way. The blast wipes several suits as Nobel Gundam lands on top of the Apsaras and rips off its head.
Char surveys the damage from a safe vantage point.
Char (in Nightingale): Dude, I think we are getting our butts kicked.
Amuro (in Hi-Nu): Yeah, I thought about just sitting back and blasting her with my funnels, but she ripped them apart with her bare hands.
Char: You don't say, well its time for Operation Cannon Fodder.
Amuro: What?
Char: Puru clones, ASSEMBLE!
A wall of Puru clones in Mass Produced Qubeleys assemble in front of Char.
Char: HA, HA, HA, CHARGE!
Char and the Puru's charge. Allenby begins fighting through the clones but cannot destroy them fast enough to stop Char's attacks. The pummeling continues until Char runs out of ammo and he begins throwing mass-produced Qubeleys at Nobel. After a few minutes he runs out of expendables and is forced to retreat.
Char: Run away!
Amuro: Well now what?
Char: I don't now. I'm out of people I can kill. Time for me to improv . . .
Amuro: Umm, I just got a message from Judua. He says that over eighty percent of out fighting force has already been defeated.
Char: Crap! Damn this video game simulation! (He sighs) I'm afraid to ask, but, who's left?
Amuro: Us, Domon, Asia, Heero, Camille, Treize, Duo . . . wait never mind Camille is gone now, Paptimus . . and another I can't identify . . .
Char: That's all we need.
Amuro: What do you have up your sleeve?
Char: Stall her. I'll be back.
The Nightingale flies off.
Amuro: What a wimp, oh well . . . Everybody listen up, its time for a last ditch effort. Charge!!!
Every one charges in a frenzy. God Gundam and Master Gundam both fire the Sekiha Tenkyoken, but Nobel thrusts up and they destroy each other. Deathscyhte Hell Custom appears behind Nobel and swings its scythe. He misses and hits the V2 Assault Gundam, slashing it in two.
The F91 fires its VSBR's but Nobel Gundam turns sideways and passes between the beams without harm. The shots continue on and destroy the active cloak wings on the Deathscythe, rendering it immobile with the loss of its wing- based thrusters. Heero fires the Wing Zero's Buster Rifle but Nobel pushes the Deathscythe in between them and utilizes it as a human shield, absorbing the blast and destroying it.
She boosts forward and knocks the gun upwards as Heero tries to fire again. The blast hits The O and rips off its lower half. Amuro rushes forward and Nobel Gundam swings the beam ribbon at him, Amuro dodges and grabs Allenby's arm and twists the Nobel around putting it in an arm lock, rendering it helpless.
Amuro: Heero, now shoot her!
Heero: Roger that.
Allenby: Argh!
Heero: Keep your hold on her, Ray.
The Hi-Nu keeps the Nobel Gundam locked. Heero aims the Twin Buster Rifle.
Heero: . . . Locked on target . . .
Char: Okay guys I'm done here, watch this, I'll beat her!
All is quiet or a moment as Heero adjusts the aim on his dual buster rifle, and then without warning a HUGE beam coming from the Gryps 2 colony cannon fires!
Char: Feel the wrath of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam's Boom Boom Colony Cannon!
Amuro: Chaaaaar! You imbecile!
Char: Ph33r teh Titans' Boom Boom Colony Cannon!
All the remaining suits are engulfed in the massive beam of light, when the fire subsides, only the Nobel Gundam remains intact, shielded from the attack by what once was the Hi-Nu Gundam
Allenby: Hee, hee, your the only one left Mr. Ped Comet.
Char: That's it I'm gonna' get you!
Char begins to repeatedly fires the Gryps 2 Colony Cannon insanely each time missing Allenby.
Char: DIE, DIE, DIE!!!
Libra's reactor over-loads and the entire space station explodes, taking Char down with it.
Allenby: Ha, ha I win. I win. I'm the best!
Stalker: No, don't get excited yet Ms. Beardsly, there is one opponent left.
Allenby: WHAT! Where are you, you coward!
'Mysterious pilot': (Snort)
Allenby: Where are you, show yourself!
Out of no where Nobel Gundam is struck and sent flying.
Allenby: Ahhhhhhhhhh! What was that? Come on you!
The white flash returns and strikes Allenby again pushing her into Earth's atmosphere. As Nobel Gundam begins to fall to Earth burning up, she catches a glance at her opponent.
Allenby: Noooooo! How could I lose to you! Noooo!
Nobel Gundam explodes.
Allenby storms out of her pod into a cheering crowd of Gundam characters all gathered around one pod waiting for the champion to step out. As they cheer the door opens and he steps out . . .
Stalker: And here he is ladies and gentlemen, the champion of the World Gundam Tournament, you're favorite horse from G Gundam, Fuunsaiki!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
Allenby: . . . I can't believe it happened again . . .
To Be Continued . . .