Chapter 18: Kou's Counterattack
Another boring night at the pub . . .
Char: . . . (huff) I'm bored . . .
Domon: Yeah me too.
Amuro: Were all bored . . .
Domon: Hey Char, kill somebody... that's always funny!
Char: I feel funny, I don't want to kill anybody.
Camille: I know we'll just pull a prank on Mark and Kou like we always do!
Char: Good, idea that always cheers us up. I'll go buy some scorpions, I wanna' try something anyway.
Amuro: Red Comet . . .
Char: What you pain in the ass.
Amuro: Umm, you killed Kou and Mark, remember.
Char: Oh yeah, maybe that's why I'm feeling odd. It's like my life work is done.
Camille: Crap, why did we kill those two, everything is so boring now. The girls don't even want to fight us cause of those stupid Dance Dance Revolution machines we installed.
Domon: Yeah, when ever we were bored we would just beat up Mark or Kou, or usually both, and we would feel better . . .
Char: Yeah, maybe we did go to far . . .
Amuro: Its time we set things right!
Domon: Yeah!!!
Amuro: To the Stonecrest Mall!!! Were gonna' get back those machines!!!
There's an awkward silence.
Char: Nooooooooo.
Char looks at everyone and smiles, everyone else smiles back . . . except Amuro.
Amuro: Don't even say it.
Char: To the graveyard!!! Were gonna' dig up our compadres!
Everyone rushes out, leaving Amuro behind.
Amuro: That is so sick . . . Guys wait up!
Amuro finds everyone in the graveyard digging stuff up . . .
Amuro: Hey guys . . . Kou and Mark are only in two graves . . . why are you digging them all up . . .
Domon: Well Char wants this killer new asteroid he saw in a magazine, and he needs a few more spleens to sell before he can afford it.
Amuro: Why, he's only gonna' drop it on Earth . . . and where is he anyway?
Camille: He's in the back, getting ready.
Amuro: Getting ready? For what?
Paptimus: I don't know . . . but it better be really cool! I'm missing work to dig holes! I should be pimping but I'm ho-ing!
Camille: Here he comes . . . what the hell?
Char emerges from the shadows dressed in a red hooded robe, with Duo and Heero dressed in the like following him with candles.
Amuro: What the hell is that get up?
Char: Simple! I'm going to raise Kou and Mark from the dead!
Amuro: Can't we just wait a while, they always come back.
Char: When was the last time I killed a person, and they came back?
Everybody: . . .
Char: Exactly! So the dark arts are the only way!
Domon: Yeah, but when did you start practicing Necromancy?
Char: I never have. I just saw Elvira Mistress of the Dark an hour ago so I think I can do this! Besides, this robe looks really cool!
Amuro: Were doomed. He's gonna' raise the dead . . . and they're gonna' eat my brains.
Char: Relax, I tried it fifteen minutes ago, it worked fine. Watch. Lalah, come out please.
Lalah steps out from a shadow looking fresh as a daisy, Amuro runs to her.
Amuro: Lalah, I've missed you . . . I love you!
A mysterious object flies by and kills Lalah.
Char: Whoops . . . (Pockets the remote) Oh well, back to the matters at hand.
Amuro: You monster!!!!
Amuro bursts into tears as Kou and Mark are set into position.
Char: Well, let's kick it up a notch. Neuga, ziena, zieber, zom . . . Now the chosen time has come . . . Exchange this world for . . . ! I . . . it's that stupid frog!
Everyone: What?
Char: Oh never mind. Look.
Kou and Mark get up and dust themselves off.
Kou: Wow, I must have been tired.
Mark: I feel so alive!!! I want to sing!
Char: I have the sudden urge to kill!
Camille: Everything is back to normal! Let's go drink!
Everyone leaves, except Amuro, still sobbing over Lalah. Once the guys reach the bar, they mess with Kou and Mark like they usually do . . .
Later . . .
Kou is at home crying, like usual. Next to him is a friend he met on the way . . .
Kou: W-w-why can't get any friends! I mean, I keep on trying to impress Camille but then he stabs me in the back!
Kai: Uh-huh . . . very interesting . . .
Kou: T-t-then, Char said I would be "In" if I walked in with that bag with dog droppings in, then Gato goes and . . . and . . . WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Kai: I feel for you . . . Hey, who should I work for next? Animal Planet or TechTV?
Kou: (Sniff) Tech . . . what am I doing wrong Kai? What!!!
Kai: I dunno'. Aren't you supposed to have Mark here or something?
Kou: He said he hated me . . . Garma's out getting engaged... And you and Garma are my only friends . . .
Kai: Don't remind me . . .
Kou: Yeah, you said that when you first came over . . .
Kai: Now are you done ranting and I can go home?
Kou: I guess . . . WAIT!
Kai: (Sigh) What . . .
Kou: I know how to get REVENGE!
Kou whispers Kai something.
Kai: Dude, that wont work
Kou: Yes it will!!! No put up the flyers at the bar!
Later . . .
Kou: Did you put up the flyers, Kai!?
Kai: Yes . . . for that stupid idea of yours?
Kou: How many times do I have to tell you!? It's "Brilliant" not "Stupid".
Kai: Putting together a team of five MS pilots to fight Camille, Char, Scirocco, Heero, and Amuro? Just like the girls did in the beginning? That's not too original . . .
Kou: Great minds think alike . . .
Kai: Uh . . . huh . . .
A bit more later . . .
Kou: Now who's here?
Kai: You in Unit I, Garma in his Custom Zaku II, me in the Guncannon, Mark in the G-Savior, and Ensign Skippy in a Leo Early-Type.
Kou: What an ALL STAR TEAM!!!
Kai: Garma, just shoot me now!!! Don't wait for the battle!
Garma: Sorry, I forgot my gun.
Kai: We never should of helped Kou . . .
Later, the battle is about to begin. The Place. Axis. CCA style!
Kou: Alright! Let's go!
Heero: This is an embarrassment . . .
Amuro: Just watch out for Kai and Garma, that can actually fight. Kai IS an ace . . .
Char: Yeah, but what's he piloting?
Amuro: A Guncannon?
Char: Exactly . . .
Stalker: GUNDAM FIGHT ALL SET! READY, GO!!!
The Leo immediately flew in at the start and the Sazabi just MOVED it's mono eye sensor and it blew up. The G-Saviour was hit by the buster rifles.
Garma& Kai: LOOKS LIKE ITS ALL UP TO US!!!
Garma and Kai fly forward, but are immediately destroyed by funnels.
Char: Wow, I'm kinda' happy you brought these machines back from that mall, Amuro . . .
Kou: Oh no, I'm alone!
The 5 enemies gang up on him.
Kou: Mommy!
In the bar, the guys toast to victory while Kou and company get drunk in their corner.
Kou: We had a chance guys!
Kai: No, no we didn't Kou.
Kou: But -
Garma: Kou, just stop. Stop while you're behind.
Char: A toast to victory!
Everyone else: Victory!
Scirroco: The Fed Ex van is up front. I'm re-banishing those machines to a mall in Hoboken, New Jersey and bringing back the DDR machines! Now we'll see how bad Kou and his friends can dance!
Everybody toasts each other and drinks. However, a mysterious bunch of figures watches the group. And thus, the Pub-War has begun!
To Be Continued . . .
Another boring night at the pub . . .
Char: . . . (huff) I'm bored . . .
Domon: Yeah me too.
Amuro: Were all bored . . .
Domon: Hey Char, kill somebody... that's always funny!
Char: I feel funny, I don't want to kill anybody.
Camille: I know we'll just pull a prank on Mark and Kou like we always do!
Char: Good, idea that always cheers us up. I'll go buy some scorpions, I wanna' try something anyway.
Amuro: Red Comet . . .
Char: What you pain in the ass.
Amuro: Umm, you killed Kou and Mark, remember.
Char: Oh yeah, maybe that's why I'm feeling odd. It's like my life work is done.
Camille: Crap, why did we kill those two, everything is so boring now. The girls don't even want to fight us cause of those stupid Dance Dance Revolution machines we installed.
Domon: Yeah, when ever we were bored we would just beat up Mark or Kou, or usually both, and we would feel better . . .
Char: Yeah, maybe we did go to far . . .
Amuro: Its time we set things right!
Domon: Yeah!!!
Amuro: To the Stonecrest Mall!!! Were gonna' get back those machines!!!
There's an awkward silence.
Char: Nooooooooo.
Char looks at everyone and smiles, everyone else smiles back . . . except Amuro.
Amuro: Don't even say it.
Char: To the graveyard!!! Were gonna' dig up our compadres!
Everyone rushes out, leaving Amuro behind.
Amuro: That is so sick . . . Guys wait up!
Amuro finds everyone in the graveyard digging stuff up . . .
Amuro: Hey guys . . . Kou and Mark are only in two graves . . . why are you digging them all up . . .
Domon: Well Char wants this killer new asteroid he saw in a magazine, and he needs a few more spleens to sell before he can afford it.
Amuro: Why, he's only gonna' drop it on Earth . . . and where is he anyway?
Camille: He's in the back, getting ready.
Amuro: Getting ready? For what?
Paptimus: I don't know . . . but it better be really cool! I'm missing work to dig holes! I should be pimping but I'm ho-ing!
Camille: Here he comes . . . what the hell?
Char emerges from the shadows dressed in a red hooded robe, with Duo and Heero dressed in the like following him with candles.
Amuro: What the hell is that get up?
Char: Simple! I'm going to raise Kou and Mark from the dead!
Amuro: Can't we just wait a while, they always come back.
Char: When was the last time I killed a person, and they came back?
Everybody: . . .
Char: Exactly! So the dark arts are the only way!
Domon: Yeah, but when did you start practicing Necromancy?
Char: I never have. I just saw Elvira Mistress of the Dark an hour ago so I think I can do this! Besides, this robe looks really cool!
Amuro: Were doomed. He's gonna' raise the dead . . . and they're gonna' eat my brains.
Char: Relax, I tried it fifteen minutes ago, it worked fine. Watch. Lalah, come out please.
Lalah steps out from a shadow looking fresh as a daisy, Amuro runs to her.
Amuro: Lalah, I've missed you . . . I love you!
A mysterious object flies by and kills Lalah.
Char: Whoops . . . (Pockets the remote) Oh well, back to the matters at hand.
Amuro: You monster!!!!
Amuro bursts into tears as Kou and Mark are set into position.
Char: Well, let's kick it up a notch. Neuga, ziena, zieber, zom . . . Now the chosen time has come . . . Exchange this world for . . . ! I . . . it's that stupid frog!
Everyone: What?
Char: Oh never mind. Look.
Kou and Mark get up and dust themselves off.
Kou: Wow, I must have been tired.
Mark: I feel so alive!!! I want to sing!
Char: I have the sudden urge to kill!
Camille: Everything is back to normal! Let's go drink!
Everyone leaves, except Amuro, still sobbing over Lalah. Once the guys reach the bar, they mess with Kou and Mark like they usually do . . .
Later . . .
Kou is at home crying, like usual. Next to him is a friend he met on the way . . .
Kou: W-w-why can't get any friends! I mean, I keep on trying to impress Camille but then he stabs me in the back!
Kai: Uh-huh . . . very interesting . . .
Kou: T-t-then, Char said I would be "In" if I walked in with that bag with dog droppings in, then Gato goes and . . . and . . . WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Kai: I feel for you . . . Hey, who should I work for next? Animal Planet or TechTV?
Kou: (Sniff) Tech . . . what am I doing wrong Kai? What!!!
Kai: I dunno'. Aren't you supposed to have Mark here or something?
Kou: He said he hated me . . . Garma's out getting engaged... And you and Garma are my only friends . . .
Kai: Don't remind me . . .
Kou: Yeah, you said that when you first came over . . .
Kai: Now are you done ranting and I can go home?
Kou: I guess . . . WAIT!
Kai: (Sigh) What . . .
Kou: I know how to get REVENGE!
Kou whispers Kai something.
Kai: Dude, that wont work
Kou: Yes it will!!! No put up the flyers at the bar!
Later . . .
Kou: Did you put up the flyers, Kai!?
Kai: Yes . . . for that stupid idea of yours?
Kou: How many times do I have to tell you!? It's "Brilliant" not "Stupid".
Kai: Putting together a team of five MS pilots to fight Camille, Char, Scirocco, Heero, and Amuro? Just like the girls did in the beginning? That's not too original . . .
Kou: Great minds think alike . . .
Kai: Uh . . . huh . . .
A bit more later . . .
Kou: Now who's here?
Kai: You in Unit I, Garma in his Custom Zaku II, me in the Guncannon, Mark in the G-Savior, and Ensign Skippy in a Leo Early-Type.
Kou: What an ALL STAR TEAM!!!
Kai: Garma, just shoot me now!!! Don't wait for the battle!
Garma: Sorry, I forgot my gun.
Kai: We never should of helped Kou . . .
Later, the battle is about to begin. The Place. Axis. CCA style!
Kou: Alright! Let's go!
Heero: This is an embarrassment . . .
Amuro: Just watch out for Kai and Garma, that can actually fight. Kai IS an ace . . .
Char: Yeah, but what's he piloting?
Amuro: A Guncannon?
Char: Exactly . . .
Stalker: GUNDAM FIGHT ALL SET! READY, GO!!!
The Leo immediately flew in at the start and the Sazabi just MOVED it's mono eye sensor and it blew up. The G-Saviour was hit by the buster rifles.
Garma& Kai: LOOKS LIKE ITS ALL UP TO US!!!
Garma and Kai fly forward, but are immediately destroyed by funnels.
Char: Wow, I'm kinda' happy you brought these machines back from that mall, Amuro . . .
Kou: Oh no, I'm alone!
The 5 enemies gang up on him.
Kou: Mommy!
In the bar, the guys toast to victory while Kou and company get drunk in their corner.
Kou: We had a chance guys!
Kai: No, no we didn't Kou.
Kou: But -
Garma: Kou, just stop. Stop while you're behind.
Char: A toast to victory!
Everyone else: Victory!
Scirroco: The Fed Ex van is up front. I'm re-banishing those machines to a mall in Hoboken, New Jersey and bringing back the DDR machines! Now we'll see how bad Kou and his friends can dance!
Everybody toasts each other and drinks. However, a mysterious bunch of figures watches the group. And thus, the Pub-War has begun!
To Be Continued . . .