A/N:  Umm… I don't really have anything to say right now… so you're reading this for a completely pointless reason and I just keep rambling.  Ok, go read and review please. J

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Chapter 5:  The truth spills out



When the holidays came around, Sirius was horrified to find that his parents wanted him home. There was to be a family gathering, and he had to be there. He wished he could go to James's house. He'd met James's parents on Platform nine and three quarters and they seemed like the perfect parents.

James tried to comfort him, "Don't worry, it's only a couple weeks, and we can talk through the mirrors. I'm sure you'll have a great time with your uncle Alphard anyway."

"Yeah, it's not a big deal. I'll just go be an ungrateful child and come back. That's not too hard," he was grinning on the outside, but he knew what was waiting for him at home, about which James had no idea.

The first punishment was for failing to get his house changed. Then it was for buying gifts for blood traitors and mudbloods, then for passing out before the punishment was over. His mother refused to heal him until they would see the rest of the family in three days so that he wouldn't cause any trouble in the meantime. He was to stay in his room until then and prepare being a proper Black.

Sitting alone in his dark room, he heard a voice from his trunk. It was James talking into the mirror. "Sirius," he called in a loud whisper. Sirius ignored it; he didn't want his friend to see him this way. But James was a persistent one. Finally, Sirius painfully grabbed the mirror and sat in the darkest corner of his room so his face was hidden in shadow. It would be better to talk to him quickly than to have his parents hear James talking in his room.

"Yeah, James, I'm here. What do you need?"

"I just wanted to see if your family was being a bunch of slimy gits! Why is it so dark? I can't see you."

"Oh, I'm down in my room. I forgot a candle and don't want to go near my parents to get one."

"You have a wand my dear wizard. Use it!"

"I-I can't. I have to go, James. I'll see you at school."

"Are you alright, Padfoot? You're not acting normal."

"I'm fine. Oh no, they're coming back. I have to go. Please don't contact me with this again. I'll try to talk to you soon, otherwise I'll see you at school." He heard footsteps come down the stairs to his room. His mother was obviously still mad. Kreacher came with her to shout insults at Sirius as his mother increased his wounds. Why can't I be James? He thought desperately. Things were a little better if he could keep his friends in mind.

Finally, the morning of the family gathering came, and Sirius's mother healed him, so you couldn't see a scratch or bruise, although he still hurt from the after effects of the curses. He looked like any other handsome Black. He decided that he'd behave as well as he could, but wouldn't give in to all of the pureblood mania surrounding his family. He just wanted to talk to uncle Alphard. He could ignore the rest.

When they arrived, Sirius found out it wasn't just a family gathering, it was a funeral and reading of the will for his uncle Alphard. Sirius was devastated; the one adult member of his family he could talk to was dead. He was in a state of shock and didn't hear anything anyone said, until everyone gasped and turned to stare at him. He was completely nonplussed. An official with the will was speaking.

"I repeat, Alphard Black has left half of his assets to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, and the rest to his nephew Sirius Black."

Sirius looked at everyone staring at him with loathing in their eyes. He suddenly realized why Alphard wasn't kicked out of the family for his different attitude; he must have been very rich. Sirius had to stop himself from laughing. He was the most disgraceful member of the Black family right now, and probably the one who cared about gold the least, but he received what everyone else wanted. He knew he'd be punished for this too, even though it was not it fault, but he didn't care. He relished in the fact that uncle Alphard thought so highly of him to leave him with something. The official was talking again.

"The portion belonging to Mr. Sirius Black will be given when he comes of age, as per request of the deceased."

Sirius's spirits sank briefly, then lifted higher than before. After I come of age they can't take it as their own.

After the funeral, Sirius spent the rest of the holidays locked in his room. Kreacher brought him bread, water, and insults once a day. Regulus visited one day, but left in a huff when Sirius told him not to use the word 'mudblood.' The additional punishments for 'putting ideas in his little brother's head' were terrible, but Sirius was hanging on to the fact that he had something they wanted. He may not get it for years, but it was his, and his parents knew they would never get it. If they thought there was a chance, they would have been sucking up to him after all they'd done, but they knew there was no such chance, so they took out their anger and frustration on him.

He waited out the holidays by thinking about everything he could do with his friends with a pile of gold. He wanted to talk to James, but his mother had taken his trunk out of his room, and the mirror was inside.

When it was time to return to Hogwarts, his mother again healed him, except for a gash on his shoulder, which was a reminder to whom he belonged. His mother and father had clearly stated that he wouldn't get away with it (meaning the money) without proper wizarding pride. They also made it clear that he wouldn't be out of their control for five long years.

He returned to the castle the night before term started, right when supper was starting. He ran into the Great Hall, ready for some real food after two weeks of bread and water with the occasional cheese. He knew he didn't look his best, but he put on his charming smile and perfected his hair, ready to see his friends. James stood up and patted him on the shoulder; Sirius winced, and didn't succeed in hiding it.

"What's wrong with your shoulder, Padfoot?" James tried to sound casual, but Sirius could hear the concern in his voice.

"Oh, nothing, just a little cut. Where's Moony and Wormtail? When's our first prank, eh?" Sirius was trying to sound playful, but knew it was no good. Luckily, Remus and Peter came over to greet him and they sat down to eat. Sirius ate normally, fighting the urge to swallow his turkey leg whole.

Up in the dormitory, James made Sirius show him his shoulder. "Bloody hell, Padfoot, you need to get this checked out. How'd it happen?"

"It's nothing. I was clumsy and fell. I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed, alright?"

"No, Sirius! It's not alright! Now, what's going on? Why didn't you contact me over Christmas? Why do you have a gash that looks like it's been there for days? Why do you freeze up when I ask? Don't you know you can tell me, all of us, anything?"

"Leave it, James. I – I just can't, ok? I can't."

Remus spoke up, "Sirius, you know you can tell us anything and we won't tell anyone or think any less of you for it. You showed me that. You know what I am and didn't leave me. We aren't going to leave you. What's wrong?"

Sirius turned away. He didn't want to tell them, but he knew he had to someday. He cleared his throat and began, "It was a Christmas gift from my mother. Instead of using her usual curses, she used a plain old muggle carving knife. She said if I like the mudbloods and muggles so much I should get used to their utensils," the other three looked at him in horror. He sighed, "I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear that. Just forget it, ok?"

"Please, Sirius, tell us anything and everything. We can help."

"How can you help? I belong to my parents until I'm of age. You guys help more than you know, especially when I'm here, or getting the snot beaten out of me." He saw the look on James' face and knew he wasn't going to let this go. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you everything, just stop looking so horrified, ok? It started when I was eight after a talk with my uncle. I decided not to let my parents tell me who I could and couldn't talk to. They locked me up when I expressed interest in anything muggle related. They used occasional curses on me, but not bad ones," he hated to lie about this, but hated them to worry more, "and they let the house elf insult me at every opportunity as to how bad of a son I am. I like house elves in general, but this one is evil, I swear. Anyway, they began locking me up for longer periods of time, with less food and more erm… nevermind. Needless to say, I was very excited to come to Hogwarts, even more so when they didn't want me home for Christmas last year. But when I got home last June, I was punished for being sorted into the wrong house; I was supposed to be in Slytherin with the rest of my family. I didn't see day light or moonlight for those two months. You asked me what was wrong on the train, remember James? Well, I hadn't had more than bread and cheese all summer, and I was… nevermind." Sirius couldn't tell them. They don't want to know. No one would want to know.

"Please, Sirius, you were?" encouraged Remus softly.

Sirius put his head in his hands as he felt the burning of tears threatening his eyes. "I was broken, physically, in the morning and healed at night. At least I think so, I already said I couldn't see the sun or moon, so I had no idea what time it was. I know they changed it up a little depending on mother and father's moods. Anyway, this Christmas, they decided I would remain broken all through the holidays so I couldn't cause any problems. Mum healed me an hour before I came back, leaving that gash as a reminder. Well, that's the gist of it. I'd prefer leaving out details if you don't mind." Sirius crawled into bed, carefully not lying on his damaged shoulder and closed his eyes against their stares.

"Shit, Sirius, you have to tell someone. Let Dumbledore know, or I can tell my parents!" said James.

"What good would that do? They'd all look at me like you are and do nothing else. My parents have gold, with gold comes privileges. One of those is that they can get someone to give me back to them if I got away. I made it worse already by inheriting a supposed fortune from uncle Alphard. He died."

"I'm so sorry, Sirius. I know he was the only one you could talk to. Are you alright?" Sirius knew James wasn't asking about physical health.

"Yeah, he was really old, you know? I'm ok with him, I think. I'm living as he wanted me to live. He had enough respect for me to leave me something. Yeah, I think I'm ok."

"Can we do anything for you right now, Padfoot? Bring you to Madam Pomfrey or something?" asked Remus softly.

"No, I'm alright. Come on, I've lived through this for four years now, I'm ok. We should go to bed. I haven't slept much in a couple weeks. Goodnight." He pulled his hangings around him and fell asleep almost instantly.