Chapter 4 - Brunch without a hunch.
"Hungry?" Squall lifted his gaze as Seifer spoke and he met his partner's gaze over the table top, suddenly feeling too serious to be hungry and light hearted at the same time.
"Yeah."
"Hey, something wrong?" Seifer's strong fingers in his made what he had to do next that much harder. He drew in a deep breath and forced a grin.
"Just hungry."
"Eggs and bacon?"
"With toast?"
"Sure, wait here and I'll go get us breakfast." Squall had to grin as Seifer leant over the table to quickly brush his lips across Squall's, a short affectionate action that nearly broke Squall's heart. He spotted the large steak knife sitting alone and suddenly wussed out, leaving it there as Seifer returned with two plates.
"This ok?" Seifer set the plate down in front of him and Squall smiled and nodded when Seifer suddenly brought up a topic so very close to home.
"Do you ever wish you could just end your own life?"
"Why?"
"I've always wondered why people would want to do that." Seifer reached across the table, taking one of Squall's hands in his. Squall looked down at those strong fingers, already missing the feeling of them stroking his cheek, chin and chest.
"I guess they have nothing to live for anymore. Life doesn't make sense to them."
"But how could they go through with it? You wouldn't, would you?"
"It depends, if I had nothing left, if I lost everything that mattered to me, I would."
"I could never kill myself. Suicide is never the answer. You could miss the biggest chance in your life. Everything may seem horrid and over, but eventually, everything will come back together, perfectly organised and fall into place, better than before." Seifer's voice was lulling as he leant closer over their plates to Squall. He felt his heart stop as he recognized the truth in his words. Squall kissed him briefly and drew his hand back, cutting his food.
"Like I said, I could kill myself, but I couldn't stand someone else doing it. Do you ever feel like you're lower than everyone else?"
"Yeah, everyone has days like that. You've just got to tell yourself that somewhere there is someone who would give everything to live the way you do."
"What if it doesn't work?"
"You'd have to know something that does, otherwise you wouldn't be alive to feel like that. Anyway, killing yourself never solves anything."
"Sometimes I wonder about that."
"Squall, c'mon, you can't be serious. No one could seriously think that death was the only way to solve the problems they face."
"Sometimes it's the only way."
"It's never the only way. There is always an alternative. Hey, you're not eating, aren't you hungry anymore?" Seifer's hand reached for his again, his strong fingers twining through Squalls.
*_*
Squall lapsed into silence as Seifer ate his late breakfast. Squall stared down at his plate, dreading the passing minutes as his watch slowly ticked closer to the hour. His watch beeped and he lifted his gaze to Seifer, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. Seifer's gaze lifted and his eyes looked confused as Squall stood and reached for the steak knife on the table next to them. Seifer cocked his head to the side.
"It can't be that hard to cut ..." Seifer froze as Squall stepped a couple paces back, his eyes filled with pain as he forced his hand to rise.
"Squall. You don't want to do this." Seifer stood as well, trying to move towards Squall. Squall lifted his gaze to Seifer and drove the blade into his heart, his fingers sliding from the hilt as blood ran down the handle.
"Squall!" Seifer's voice dropped to a painful hush as he caught the boy in his arms, cradling him, feeling the blood run down him as Squall withdrew the blade.
"Sorry." As Squall gasped the word, blood poured out of his mouth and down his chin, staining the shirt of Seifer's he wore. Seifer lifted his hand, pressing it to the wound, trying to stop the flow of the blood. Squall lapsed into unconsciousness and his heart stopped before the ambulance and police arrived.
AN: I'm a horrible person '-_- But I'm sure you'll forgive me when you read the next bit. Promise.
"Hungry?" Squall lifted his gaze as Seifer spoke and he met his partner's gaze over the table top, suddenly feeling too serious to be hungry and light hearted at the same time.
"Yeah."
"Hey, something wrong?" Seifer's strong fingers in his made what he had to do next that much harder. He drew in a deep breath and forced a grin.
"Just hungry."
"Eggs and bacon?"
"With toast?"
"Sure, wait here and I'll go get us breakfast." Squall had to grin as Seifer leant over the table to quickly brush his lips across Squall's, a short affectionate action that nearly broke Squall's heart. He spotted the large steak knife sitting alone and suddenly wussed out, leaving it there as Seifer returned with two plates.
"This ok?" Seifer set the plate down in front of him and Squall smiled and nodded when Seifer suddenly brought up a topic so very close to home.
"Do you ever wish you could just end your own life?"
"Why?"
"I've always wondered why people would want to do that." Seifer reached across the table, taking one of Squall's hands in his. Squall looked down at those strong fingers, already missing the feeling of them stroking his cheek, chin and chest.
"I guess they have nothing to live for anymore. Life doesn't make sense to them."
"But how could they go through with it? You wouldn't, would you?"
"It depends, if I had nothing left, if I lost everything that mattered to me, I would."
"I could never kill myself. Suicide is never the answer. You could miss the biggest chance in your life. Everything may seem horrid and over, but eventually, everything will come back together, perfectly organised and fall into place, better than before." Seifer's voice was lulling as he leant closer over their plates to Squall. He felt his heart stop as he recognized the truth in his words. Squall kissed him briefly and drew his hand back, cutting his food.
"Like I said, I could kill myself, but I couldn't stand someone else doing it. Do you ever feel like you're lower than everyone else?"
"Yeah, everyone has days like that. You've just got to tell yourself that somewhere there is someone who would give everything to live the way you do."
"What if it doesn't work?"
"You'd have to know something that does, otherwise you wouldn't be alive to feel like that. Anyway, killing yourself never solves anything."
"Sometimes I wonder about that."
"Squall, c'mon, you can't be serious. No one could seriously think that death was the only way to solve the problems they face."
"Sometimes it's the only way."
"It's never the only way. There is always an alternative. Hey, you're not eating, aren't you hungry anymore?" Seifer's hand reached for his again, his strong fingers twining through Squalls.
*_*
Squall lapsed into silence as Seifer ate his late breakfast. Squall stared down at his plate, dreading the passing minutes as his watch slowly ticked closer to the hour. His watch beeped and he lifted his gaze to Seifer, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. Seifer's gaze lifted and his eyes looked confused as Squall stood and reached for the steak knife on the table next to them. Seifer cocked his head to the side.
"It can't be that hard to cut ..." Seifer froze as Squall stepped a couple paces back, his eyes filled with pain as he forced his hand to rise.
"Squall. You don't want to do this." Seifer stood as well, trying to move towards Squall. Squall lifted his gaze to Seifer and drove the blade into his heart, his fingers sliding from the hilt as blood ran down the handle.
"Squall!" Seifer's voice dropped to a painful hush as he caught the boy in his arms, cradling him, feeling the blood run down him as Squall withdrew the blade.
"Sorry." As Squall gasped the word, blood poured out of his mouth and down his chin, staining the shirt of Seifer's he wore. Seifer lifted his hand, pressing it to the wound, trying to stop the flow of the blood. Squall lapsed into unconsciousness and his heart stopped before the ambulance and police arrived.
AN: I'm a horrible person '-_- But I'm sure you'll forgive me when you read the next bit. Promise.