Sixteen.
That's the immortal age. When you think that you're halfway to adult but still able to mooch off your parents. That's when you feel you should be allowed to roam free till three AM but your parents should still not make you go get a job to pay for all your partying. Sixteen was when it all started; at least it's the closet root I can find.
Friday, Partyday as Bakura and Malik called it, which was when I went with them to some odd party at some obscure place. We'd hang and do what we wanted and had what we called fun. Being that Bakura and Malik are at least twenty-one they bought the drinks and they bought the drugs and they made the plans, and me? I was just the "good looking guy who knew how to have a good time", that's what Malik had said the first day I was invited to join them.
I must have tried about a hundred different drugs in just that one school year. It was all about the newest hottest best things, no one cared about the negatives to, there was nothing but fun. To us there were no negatives. But by Sunday, Hangoverday, night we were all ready for work and school. A cycle of abuse and recovery.
The rest of the group didn't know about us and our wild weekends. It was our secret, our own group. We were bound together by drugs, drinks, and sex. I know how negative it is and all but I won't lie, there is nothing like being high on Ecstasy and having two other people touching you and knowing they are high too and you are touching them. Good feelings all around. We had a solid bond.
Yes I might as well say it here since I'm telling you everything else, I'm gay. I'm a homosexual teenage male. It feels strange to write that, to have it in front of me, out in the open. I keep turning around trying to make sure that there is no one behind me reading this, learning my secrets. But I know that someday someone will know these secrets of mine. It's strange that way, you hide something, keep it from everyone for so long and then you find that there are more important things in life and that secret doesn't seem so big anymore.
It's late I need sleep.
That's the immortal age. When you think that you're halfway to adult but still able to mooch off your parents. That's when you feel you should be allowed to roam free till three AM but your parents should still not make you go get a job to pay for all your partying. Sixteen was when it all started; at least it's the closet root I can find.
Friday, Partyday as Bakura and Malik called it, which was when I went with them to some odd party at some obscure place. We'd hang and do what we wanted and had what we called fun. Being that Bakura and Malik are at least twenty-one they bought the drinks and they bought the drugs and they made the plans, and me? I was just the "good looking guy who knew how to have a good time", that's what Malik had said the first day I was invited to join them.
I must have tried about a hundred different drugs in just that one school year. It was all about the newest hottest best things, no one cared about the negatives to, there was nothing but fun. To us there were no negatives. But by Sunday, Hangoverday, night we were all ready for work and school. A cycle of abuse and recovery.
The rest of the group didn't know about us and our wild weekends. It was our secret, our own group. We were bound together by drugs, drinks, and sex. I know how negative it is and all but I won't lie, there is nothing like being high on Ecstasy and having two other people touching you and knowing they are high too and you are touching them. Good feelings all around. We had a solid bond.
Yes I might as well say it here since I'm telling you everything else, I'm gay. I'm a homosexual teenage male. It feels strange to write that, to have it in front of me, out in the open. I keep turning around trying to make sure that there is no one behind me reading this, learning my secrets. But I know that someday someone will know these secrets of mine. It's strange that way, you hide something, keep it from everyone for so long and then you find that there are more important things in life and that secret doesn't seem so big anymore.
It's late I need sleep.