Disclaimer: There once was a little boy who grew up to own Zelda.
Unfortunately, he wasn't me. Boo hoo...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**In dungeon**
Link: **Sitting on a giant pile of waffles** I love waffles. ^_^
Zelda: I know.
Link: D'ya know how much I love waffles?
Zelda: No. And I don't care.
Link: I could eat this entire pile. Every last one. Each glistening in its syrupy sheen. Mmmmmmmmm. I want one. Real bad. I want a waffle so bad, I could spend a long time in a dungeon somewhere eating nothing but waffles.
Zelda: CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're the grand prize winner!!
Link: Yay! What'd I win?
Zelda: A MOUNTAIN OF WAFFLES!!!!!
Link: Just as long as they're not as beautiful as me.
Zelda: **sarcastically* Glad to see your inferiority complex isn't acting up like it normally does.
Link: **munching on waffles** Excuse me?
Zelda: Nevermind. **leaves**
**upstairs**
Impa: I think...we might need to move the party to Hyrule field... or Lon Lon Ranch...
Darunia: Why?
Impa: Oh, no reason in particular, just that EVERY PERSON IN HERE HAS TOW SQUARE FEET OF PERSONAL SPACE!!!!
Darunia: but... **sniffs** I was...only trying to help...**breaks down weeping**
Rauru: **drinking** could you- hic!- keep it down, Impa? You're- hic!- so stinkin' loud sometimes.
Impa: OH GREAT! NOW THE GREAT SAGE OF LIGHT IS NOW THE ALMIGHTY SAGE OF ALCOHOL!! I'D LIKE A LONG ISLAND O MIGHTY GOD OF ALCOHOL!!!
Rauru: You're so mean! **runs out of room sobbing**
Nabooru: **returns with some demented form of twister** I'm back... and with a demented form of twister!
Rauru: **returns** Yay! A demented form of twister! **starts sobbing when he sees Impa.
Impa: PERFECT! JUST PERFECT! A DEMENTED FORM OF TWISTER!! AND A PERVERT!! WHAT'S NEXT? WELL??? DOES ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING ELSE FOR ME???
Nabooru: **starts crying**
Hylian kid: Mommy? Has that mean lady been drinking?
Impa: **turns around to yell at kid** DRINKING??? DRINKING??? I DON'T DRINK!! I HAVE NO REASON TO DRINK!!! YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF A BRAIN YOU STUPID LOSER FACE MORON!!!
Hylian kid: **runs out crying** Mooommmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Saria: Great, now she's making little kids cry.
Impa: I WOULD NEVER MAKE A LITTLE KID CRY!! WAIT! I'VE GOT AN IDEA!! LET'S MAKE YOU CRY, SARIA!!! YOU'RE A LITTLE KID! AND I CAN MAKE YOU CRY!!! STUPID LITTLE BABY!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Saria: Liiiiiiiiiiiink!!! **runs off to dungeons**
Ruto: **to Impa** You jerk! How DARE you! You've just made one sage weep, another sage sob, another cry, yet another run to her best friend, and a little boy want his mommy.
Impa: AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT FISH-BREATH?
Ruto: fish...breath...? and you just made me... ** bawls loudly**
Zelda: Impa! What's WRONG with you??
Impa: DON'T START WITH ME PRETTY GIRL!
Zelda: Impa...you haven't been doing your meditation classes lately, have you?
Impa: I DON'T NEED MY MEDITATION CLASSSES!! THAT "INSTRUCTOR" WAS A FRUITCAKE!! A PANSY!!! THAT IS FOR WEAK PEOPLE!! I AM NOT WEAK!! I AM ONE OF THE STRONG!!!
Zelda: I guess I'll need...**turns and leaves**
**Link returns with Saria**
Link: Impa! There's only one beautiful person in that room, and that person's me. Furthermore, I'm not eating waffles! You know what that means? It means I'm not in the dungeon. Do you know what that means? It means I'm up here talking to you. And do you know what that means? It means you've been a BAD GIRL! **runs up and hugs Impa**
Impa: O.O!
Link: There! All better! We still love you. You're a good person.
Impa: **eyes get all big and wet** Thank you Link. I needed that so much. You're a great friend. I love you.
Link: ummm.........
Saria: He means we still care about you, despite your being the guardian of the crappiest temple of 'em all- a giant tomb. I mean, the walls are made of skeletons... that is SO gross!! And why the heck is it so easy to get through? There's like, what, two small keys? It takes very little brains to get through that temple. At least SOME of the temples are hard. Like mine.
Impa: **cries** You're right! Why did I get stuck with the crappy temple? **sobs harder** My life sucks!!
Link: Actually, Rauru has the worst job. He doesn't do anything. He doesn't even have a temple. He just has his little room in the sacred realm. That's gotta be SO boring. I mean, really, I didn't even DO anything and he gave me a medallion pendant thingy. He was just, like: Hey Link! You're seventeen now! Here's a medallion pendant thingy. He's got nobody to talk to up there. **shudders** I don't even WANT to know what was happening to me while I was getting my beauty rest!
Impa: ummm...about that.......
Link: You KNOW?!?! You know what he did to me??
Impa: ...yes...
Link: WELL FOR DIN'S SAKE, TELL ME!
Impa: You really don't want to know...
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
(A/n: look familiar?)
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: **pulls out Master Sword** Yes. I. Do.
Impa: **meeps** OK, OK! **whispers something in link's ear**
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! HE WHAT??!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Zelda: **returns with Impa's medication, but sees Link** Maybe I got the wrong medication...
Link: My beautiful body! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm so ashamed! **sobs**
Zelda: .....?
Impa: Rauru...um... **whispers in Zelda's ear**
Zelda: O.O WHAT?! RAURU WHAT?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Link: Don't laugh!!! It's...so...disgusting! **uncontrollable sobs**
Zelda: Link! Are you crazy! That's not that bad!
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Impa: **glares at Rauru** Now look what you've done! You've probably scarred him for life!
Rauru: **looks at ground and makes little circles with his foot** But it was fun... He looked... **tries to suppress a giggle but can't**
Link: RAURU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! TODAY YOU WILL DIE!!!! **pulls out Master Sword and starts walking toward Rauru**
Rauru: **sweatdrops** Link...wait...please don't...I'm a sage...
Link: **still advancing** Tell me something I don't know.
Rauru: O.O UMMMMM......i threw away all of the pictures of you...
Link: **stops** And has anyone else seen them?
Rauru: Well...
Link: Yes?
Rauru: Well?
Link: YES??
Rauru: You see...
Link: OUT WITH IT!!!
Rauru: Just one other...
Link: Don't mess with me!
Rauru: ......Saria......
Link: **blinks** What? Saria? WHAT??? SARIA SAW THE PICTURES???? HOW DARE YOU SHOW MY BEST FRIEND-
Zelda: Hey!
Link: You're my girlfriend.
Zelda: Oh! OK!
Link: -SUCH COMPROMISING PICTURES OF ME!!!! I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!!!
Saria: They weren't that bad Link...
Link: Really?
Saria: well...there was one...**starts giggling**
Link: One WHAT?
Saria: He- **giggles harder** He- **starts laughing uncontrollably** HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! IT WAS HILARIOUS!!!
Link: **hysterical** WHAT WAS IT????
Saria: **laughing** He took- **laughs** all of your clothes off- **giggles** and he- **laughs really hard**
Link: MY CLOTHES?!? OFF?!?!?!
Saria: And he- **face turns red from laughing so hard** He put you in- **laughs wildly** OH CRAP! THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!!
Link: **rising hysteria** NO! NO FUNNY!!! I SEE NO FUNNY!!!! THERE IS NO FUNNY HERE!!!!!
Saira: **calms down a little** OK, OK! **giggles** He put you in one of Zelda's dresses. **keeps a straight face for about one second, then starts laughing**
Link: **ready to cry** He...what?
Nabooru: **snickers** Hey Girly-Link, don't you need a purse with your dress?
**Darunia, Ruto, and Rauru all snicker at this**
Link: **runs to corner and starts crying**
Zelda: Hey! Don't pick on him! Just 'cause he wears one of those little pansy Kokiri tunics-
Saria: Excuse me?
Zelda: Sorry. Just 'cause his tunic looks like a girlie dress doesn't mean we can...**unsuccessfully tries to smother a giggle** Doesn't mean...**laughs harder** We can...**laughs hysterically**
Link: **sobs** I want my mommy.
Navi: She died. A long time ago.
Link: NOOOOOOO!!! **more wild sobs**
Tatl: **to Navi** Some friend you are! I love you link! **tries to hug Link, but runs into his eye**
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! MY EYE!!! I'M BLIND!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY FACE HAS BEEN FLAWED!!! I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tale: Good job sis.
Tatl: Oopsie...
Link: **sobbing**
Saria: Ummm...guys? How about that party?
Link: Party? What party? Where? Is there waffles? And a beauty spa?
Saria: What's that?
Link: I don't know. But you go there to become beautiful.
Saria: .......oh.......how...important...
Link: You bet! Wait! There's a party?
Zelda: Ummm...no. Go back to the dungeon for waffles.
Link: OK! **skips off singing** Waffles for Link!
Everyone: O.O
Zelda: Let's finish before he runs out down there.
Impa: But I placed a huge pile there! How could he........nevermind...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You like? Please R&R! Not sure when I'll update... I've got other ideas... (That's scary)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**In dungeon**
Link: **Sitting on a giant pile of waffles** I love waffles. ^_^
Zelda: I know.
Link: D'ya know how much I love waffles?
Zelda: No. And I don't care.
Link: I could eat this entire pile. Every last one. Each glistening in its syrupy sheen. Mmmmmmmmm. I want one. Real bad. I want a waffle so bad, I could spend a long time in a dungeon somewhere eating nothing but waffles.
Zelda: CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're the grand prize winner!!
Link: Yay! What'd I win?
Zelda: A MOUNTAIN OF WAFFLES!!!!!
Link: Just as long as they're not as beautiful as me.
Zelda: **sarcastically* Glad to see your inferiority complex isn't acting up like it normally does.
Link: **munching on waffles** Excuse me?
Zelda: Nevermind. **leaves**
**upstairs**
Impa: I think...we might need to move the party to Hyrule field... or Lon Lon Ranch...
Darunia: Why?
Impa: Oh, no reason in particular, just that EVERY PERSON IN HERE HAS TOW SQUARE FEET OF PERSONAL SPACE!!!!
Darunia: but... **sniffs** I was...only trying to help...**breaks down weeping**
Rauru: **drinking** could you- hic!- keep it down, Impa? You're- hic!- so stinkin' loud sometimes.
Impa: OH GREAT! NOW THE GREAT SAGE OF LIGHT IS NOW THE ALMIGHTY SAGE OF ALCOHOL!! I'D LIKE A LONG ISLAND O MIGHTY GOD OF ALCOHOL!!!
Rauru: You're so mean! **runs out of room sobbing**
Nabooru: **returns with some demented form of twister** I'm back... and with a demented form of twister!
Rauru: **returns** Yay! A demented form of twister! **starts sobbing when he sees Impa.
Impa: PERFECT! JUST PERFECT! A DEMENTED FORM OF TWISTER!! AND A PERVERT!! WHAT'S NEXT? WELL??? DOES ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING ELSE FOR ME???
Nabooru: **starts crying**
Hylian kid: Mommy? Has that mean lady been drinking?
Impa: **turns around to yell at kid** DRINKING??? DRINKING??? I DON'T DRINK!! I HAVE NO REASON TO DRINK!!! YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF A BRAIN YOU STUPID LOSER FACE MORON!!!
Hylian kid: **runs out crying** Mooommmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Saria: Great, now she's making little kids cry.
Impa: I WOULD NEVER MAKE A LITTLE KID CRY!! WAIT! I'VE GOT AN IDEA!! LET'S MAKE YOU CRY, SARIA!!! YOU'RE A LITTLE KID! AND I CAN MAKE YOU CRY!!! STUPID LITTLE BABY!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Saria: Liiiiiiiiiiiink!!! **runs off to dungeons**
Ruto: **to Impa** You jerk! How DARE you! You've just made one sage weep, another sage sob, another cry, yet another run to her best friend, and a little boy want his mommy.
Impa: AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT FISH-BREATH?
Ruto: fish...breath...? and you just made me... ** bawls loudly**
Zelda: Impa! What's WRONG with you??
Impa: DON'T START WITH ME PRETTY GIRL!
Zelda: Impa...you haven't been doing your meditation classes lately, have you?
Impa: I DON'T NEED MY MEDITATION CLASSSES!! THAT "INSTRUCTOR" WAS A FRUITCAKE!! A PANSY!!! THAT IS FOR WEAK PEOPLE!! I AM NOT WEAK!! I AM ONE OF THE STRONG!!!
Zelda: I guess I'll need...**turns and leaves**
**Link returns with Saria**
Link: Impa! There's only one beautiful person in that room, and that person's me. Furthermore, I'm not eating waffles! You know what that means? It means I'm not in the dungeon. Do you know what that means? It means I'm up here talking to you. And do you know what that means? It means you've been a BAD GIRL! **runs up and hugs Impa**
Impa: O.O!
Link: There! All better! We still love you. You're a good person.
Impa: **eyes get all big and wet** Thank you Link. I needed that so much. You're a great friend. I love you.
Link: ummm.........
Saria: He means we still care about you, despite your being the guardian of the crappiest temple of 'em all- a giant tomb. I mean, the walls are made of skeletons... that is SO gross!! And why the heck is it so easy to get through? There's like, what, two small keys? It takes very little brains to get through that temple. At least SOME of the temples are hard. Like mine.
Impa: **cries** You're right! Why did I get stuck with the crappy temple? **sobs harder** My life sucks!!
Link: Actually, Rauru has the worst job. He doesn't do anything. He doesn't even have a temple. He just has his little room in the sacred realm. That's gotta be SO boring. I mean, really, I didn't even DO anything and he gave me a medallion pendant thingy. He was just, like: Hey Link! You're seventeen now! Here's a medallion pendant thingy. He's got nobody to talk to up there. **shudders** I don't even WANT to know what was happening to me while I was getting my beauty rest!
Impa: ummm...about that.......
Link: You KNOW?!?! You know what he did to me??
Impa: ...yes...
Link: WELL FOR DIN'S SAKE, TELL ME!
Impa: You really don't want to know...
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
(A/n: look familiar?)
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: Yes I do!
Impa: No you don't.
Link: **pulls out Master Sword** Yes. I. Do.
Impa: **meeps** OK, OK! **whispers something in link's ear**
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! HE WHAT??!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Zelda: **returns with Impa's medication, but sees Link** Maybe I got the wrong medication...
Link: My beautiful body! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm so ashamed! **sobs**
Zelda: .....?
Impa: Rauru...um... **whispers in Zelda's ear**
Zelda: O.O WHAT?! RAURU WHAT?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Link: Don't laugh!!! It's...so...disgusting! **uncontrollable sobs**
Zelda: Link! Are you crazy! That's not that bad!
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Impa: **glares at Rauru** Now look what you've done! You've probably scarred him for life!
Rauru: **looks at ground and makes little circles with his foot** But it was fun... He looked... **tries to suppress a giggle but can't**
Link: RAURU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! TODAY YOU WILL DIE!!!! **pulls out Master Sword and starts walking toward Rauru**
Rauru: **sweatdrops** Link...wait...please don't...I'm a sage...
Link: **still advancing** Tell me something I don't know.
Rauru: O.O UMMMMM......i threw away all of the pictures of you...
Link: **stops** And has anyone else seen them?
Rauru: Well...
Link: Yes?
Rauru: Well?
Link: YES??
Rauru: You see...
Link: OUT WITH IT!!!
Rauru: Just one other...
Link: Don't mess with me!
Rauru: ......Saria......
Link: **blinks** What? Saria? WHAT??? SARIA SAW THE PICTURES???? HOW DARE YOU SHOW MY BEST FRIEND-
Zelda: Hey!
Link: You're my girlfriend.
Zelda: Oh! OK!
Link: -SUCH COMPROMISING PICTURES OF ME!!!! I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!!!
Saria: They weren't that bad Link...
Link: Really?
Saria: well...there was one...**starts giggling**
Link: One WHAT?
Saria: He- **giggles harder** He- **starts laughing uncontrollably** HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! IT WAS HILARIOUS!!!
Link: **hysterical** WHAT WAS IT????
Saria: **laughing** He took- **laughs** all of your clothes off- **giggles** and he- **laughs really hard**
Link: MY CLOTHES?!? OFF?!?!?!
Saria: And he- **face turns red from laughing so hard** He put you in- **laughs wildly** OH CRAP! THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!!
Link: **rising hysteria** NO! NO FUNNY!!! I SEE NO FUNNY!!!! THERE IS NO FUNNY HERE!!!!!
Saira: **calms down a little** OK, OK! **giggles** He put you in one of Zelda's dresses. **keeps a straight face for about one second, then starts laughing**
Link: **ready to cry** He...what?
Nabooru: **snickers** Hey Girly-Link, don't you need a purse with your dress?
**Darunia, Ruto, and Rauru all snicker at this**
Link: **runs to corner and starts crying**
Zelda: Hey! Don't pick on him! Just 'cause he wears one of those little pansy Kokiri tunics-
Saria: Excuse me?
Zelda: Sorry. Just 'cause his tunic looks like a girlie dress doesn't mean we can...**unsuccessfully tries to smother a giggle** Doesn't mean...**laughs harder** We can...**laughs hysterically**
Link: **sobs** I want my mommy.
Navi: She died. A long time ago.
Link: NOOOOOOO!!! **more wild sobs**
Tatl: **to Navi** Some friend you are! I love you link! **tries to hug Link, but runs into his eye**
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! MY EYE!!! I'M BLIND!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY FACE HAS BEEN FLAWED!!! I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tale: Good job sis.
Tatl: Oopsie...
Link: **sobbing**
Saria: Ummm...guys? How about that party?
Link: Party? What party? Where? Is there waffles? And a beauty spa?
Saria: What's that?
Link: I don't know. But you go there to become beautiful.
Saria: .......oh.......how...important...
Link: You bet! Wait! There's a party?
Zelda: Ummm...no. Go back to the dungeon for waffles.
Link: OK! **skips off singing** Waffles for Link!
Everyone: O.O
Zelda: Let's finish before he runs out down there.
Impa: But I placed a huge pile there! How could he........nevermind...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You like? Please R&R! Not sure when I'll update... I've got other ideas... (That's scary)