What do I see look in the mirror now? I see a ghost soon to be.
The doctors have stopped speaking to me. They even try their best to smile when speaking to me. They're telling my mom and I can see by the way she bites her bottom lip and looks at me as if I were piece of thin glass. So I guess I'm not going to get to write too much more.
Funny, I've been telling you all this time that the end is so close for me but even as I sit here, in the dark, I can't believe it's so close. I'll confess I'm crying as I write this.
So I started telling you before how this all happened, I know I stalled but I might as well tell you now, seeing as how I may not have another opportunity.
It had to have been that one time Marik, Bakura and I went to a party at the house of someone I had never met. There was the usual sea of alcohol, mounds of pills, and corners full of anonymous sex. Of course I was drinking and smoking.
Parties are always so unpredictable, but that's what we predict, isn't it? You go to these parties because you know that they're wild and that's what you want. They're your escape from the dull boring schedule that you have to adhere to when you're at school or work.
I remember that night. Funny how that memory was so fuzzy until now, suddenly it's crystal clear.
The air was thick with the smell of people, liquor and smoke from different drugs. It was warm and there was a fuzzy feeling to everything, it's an effect of an interaction of the three I was taking at the time. Marik had found some cute blonde boy with long fingers and a perfect smile. He had the blonde keeping him company, which left me with Bakura.
Bakura took a sip of tequila, leaned into me and kissed me deeply. The tequila was mixed with the lime and salt he had taken as well. His hand slide up my neck, over my shoulder and then down my back. Pulling my closer he ground into me. I moaned softly into his mouth. He gently broke the kiss. His eyes weren't quite as focused as they should have, he was very hi and drunk.
"Let's take this to a room, how bout that Hon, sound good to you?" He whispered, to me as he slipped his hand that was on my back down to my butt. I smiled.
"Sure, Babes. Whatever gets you goin." I licked his lips and he slipped his hand into mine and started making his way to a room on the second floor.
We looked in three rooms before we found an empty one. We did some more drugs and had sex before there was a knock at the door.
"You boys all dressed and decent?" it was Marik. We laughed as he came in, we greeted him happily. "I brought my friend," the blonde came from behind him. "And my friend comes bearing gifts."
The blonde smiled at me and winked as he walked in. "You're definitely a hottie." He handed a little black velour bag to Marik, who took Bakura aside. "You wanna have some REAL fun?" his grey blue eyes glittered as he produced a black bag, identical to the one he had given to Marik. He took a syringe from it.
"I'm not sure. What is it?" I wasn't sure what it was but I felt a little cautious.
"Just some new stuff, I guarantee you'll like it." He smiled as he laid the syringe in his lap and wrapped a bandana around his arm. I watched as he slide the needle into the bulging vein in the crook of his elbow.
He pulled on the end of the syringe, draw blood from his arm to mingle with the powder in the syringe. I watched the silvery white mix with the red. He injected some of it back in to his arm and then he took the bandana off his arm, after taking the needle out of his arm.
"You ready?" He said smiling at me as he rolled up my sleeve and tied the bandana around my arm. There was some little voice in my head that was telling me not to go through with this but it was muffled. My mind was a daze. There were no sensible thought allowed. It was all a haze, fuzz.
I felt the needle break the skin and I watched as he inject the rest of the ruby red liquid into me. I settled back and waited for the bliss to start.
But that was when this terror began. So that's how it happened, that blonde had the disease and he gave it to me. Just think in one second I annihilated so many years. You don't really realize those types of things until it's too late and you're looking back.
So in case I don't get to write tomorrow
There was a dull after 'tomorrow' was typed.
The doctors have stopped speaking to me. They even try their best to smile when speaking to me. They're telling my mom and I can see by the way she bites her bottom lip and looks at me as if I were piece of thin glass. So I guess I'm not going to get to write too much more.
Funny, I've been telling you all this time that the end is so close for me but even as I sit here, in the dark, I can't believe it's so close. I'll confess I'm crying as I write this.
So I started telling you before how this all happened, I know I stalled but I might as well tell you now, seeing as how I may not have another opportunity.
It had to have been that one time Marik, Bakura and I went to a party at the house of someone I had never met. There was the usual sea of alcohol, mounds of pills, and corners full of anonymous sex. Of course I was drinking and smoking.
Parties are always so unpredictable, but that's what we predict, isn't it? You go to these parties because you know that they're wild and that's what you want. They're your escape from the dull boring schedule that you have to adhere to when you're at school or work.
I remember that night. Funny how that memory was so fuzzy until now, suddenly it's crystal clear.
The air was thick with the smell of people, liquor and smoke from different drugs. It was warm and there was a fuzzy feeling to everything, it's an effect of an interaction of the three I was taking at the time. Marik had found some cute blonde boy with long fingers and a perfect smile. He had the blonde keeping him company, which left me with Bakura.
Bakura took a sip of tequila, leaned into me and kissed me deeply. The tequila was mixed with the lime and salt he had taken as well. His hand slide up my neck, over my shoulder and then down my back. Pulling my closer he ground into me. I moaned softly into his mouth. He gently broke the kiss. His eyes weren't quite as focused as they should have, he was very hi and drunk.
"Let's take this to a room, how bout that Hon, sound good to you?" He whispered, to me as he slipped his hand that was on my back down to my butt. I smiled.
"Sure, Babes. Whatever gets you goin." I licked his lips and he slipped his hand into mine and started making his way to a room on the second floor.
We looked in three rooms before we found an empty one. We did some more drugs and had sex before there was a knock at the door.
"You boys all dressed and decent?" it was Marik. We laughed as he came in, we greeted him happily. "I brought my friend," the blonde came from behind him. "And my friend comes bearing gifts."
The blonde smiled at me and winked as he walked in. "You're definitely a hottie." He handed a little black velour bag to Marik, who took Bakura aside. "You wanna have some REAL fun?" his grey blue eyes glittered as he produced a black bag, identical to the one he had given to Marik. He took a syringe from it.
"I'm not sure. What is it?" I wasn't sure what it was but I felt a little cautious.
"Just some new stuff, I guarantee you'll like it." He smiled as he laid the syringe in his lap and wrapped a bandana around his arm. I watched as he slide the needle into the bulging vein in the crook of his elbow.
He pulled on the end of the syringe, draw blood from his arm to mingle with the powder in the syringe. I watched the silvery white mix with the red. He injected some of it back in to his arm and then he took the bandana off his arm, after taking the needle out of his arm.
"You ready?" He said smiling at me as he rolled up my sleeve and tied the bandana around my arm. There was some little voice in my head that was telling me not to go through with this but it was muffled. My mind was a daze. There were no sensible thought allowed. It was all a haze, fuzz.
I felt the needle break the skin and I watched as he inject the rest of the ruby red liquid into me. I settled back and waited for the bliss to start.
But that was when this terror began. So that's how it happened, that blonde had the disease and he gave it to me. Just think in one second I annihilated so many years. You don't really realize those types of things until it's too late and you're looking back.
So in case I don't get to write tomorrow
There was a dull after 'tomorrow' was typed.