"This is fucking weird," em0 Roger said, running his hand through his hair.
"I didn't come back from Hawaii to be locked in the loft with.myself."
Dirty Roger stared at him. "You're a poser. Of myself."
"Don't make me hit you."
The two Mimi's were seated together on the floor. Dirty Mimi had em0 Mimi's hand in hers, and she was checking out the wedding ring. "That's pretty," she said. "Hey Roger?"
"Yeah?" They both said.
Dirty Mimi sighed and pointed to the Roger she wanted. "You. Not you."
"I think-" em0 Mimi said, looking over at her husband, em0 Roger. "That we should put ID bracelets on them. Or tie a piece of string around their fingers. Oh wait, never mind. Mine has his wedding ring on!"
Dirty Mimi glared at em0 Mimi. "Are you trying to come off sounding like you're better than me? Because you're married, or something?"
"No, I was just saying-"
"Yeah. Whatever," Dirty Mimi said, sighing and dropping em0 Mimi's hand. Just then, the power blew. A voice came over the loft:
"Hello my cherubs. Yes, I'm talking to the four of you. You are now faced with your first task."
"What the fuck is this? The Real World?" em0 Roger said
"No Sherlock, this is Cribs. But that's not the point. And don't sass me, blondie."
"Sorry," he apologized."
"This is Mari speaking. Now, let's pretend for a second that you are all smart bohemians. Your power just went out."
"Because of Benny?" Dirty Roger said.
"That fuck!" Dirty Mimi added.
There was a brief silence. "NO! NOT BECAUSE OF BENNY! Like the note says, we, Mari and Jan, control you! We are the authors!"
Em0 Roger shrugged. "Oh. Alright. Gotcha."
"Now that you have no power, what are you going to do? Oh! What's that! Look! The corner is lit up! The condoms are glowing! Go my cherubs! GOOOOOOO!"
"Was that God?" Dirty Roger asked.
Em0 Roger glared at him. "You're stupid. She just said she was Mari. My god."
Just then, the loft door opened and Mark's pregnant girlfriend Jackie from Before You Wake entered, singing to herself. She shined a flashlight into the room.
"Don't close the door!" they all shouted at her.
"Oh. Sorry." She smiled at em0 Roger and Mimi. "You guys are back! How was it? Did you have a good time?" She looked around and noticed another Roger and Mimi sitting on the couch. "Wait a minute, what's going on?"
"There's two of us. Our authors decided we should meet," Dirty Roger pointed out.
"Oh. Hmm, well I'm Jackie. Mark's girlfriend." She stuck out her hand politely for the other Roger and Mimi to shake.
"Yeah, I read that episode last week. The one where you went to Sydney and found out you were pregnant. Good shit," Dirty Roger laughed.
"Speaking of pregnant people," em0 Mimi added. "I've got a major bun in the oven."
"Is that Roger's baby?" Dirty Mimi asked.
Em0 Roger glared at her. "Of course it's my baby! Unless."
"Great! Now you gave him ideas!" em0 Mimi shouted at her.
"Ideas! The kid's Benny's, isn't it!"
"Is not!"
"Is to!"
"IS NOT!"
"IS TOO!"
"NO SEX FOR YOU!"
"GOOD!"
em0 Mimi and Roger huffed away from each other and sat down on barstools in the kitchen. Just then, em0 Mark entered, whistling to himself.
"Hello Mark Cohen."
He smiled. "Hello Mari, how are you today?"
"Very well, thank you. Go for the condoms! Let there be light!"
"Guys, there's glow in the dark condoms in the corner," em0 Mark said.
"Oh yeah," Dirty Mimi said. "There are. Wanna play Rog?"
He grinned and nodded. He grabbed a handful and scooped her up, slamming the door of em0 Roger's room.
"Hey! Those are my sheets! I just washed them!" em0 Roger shouted after them.
"Thanks for invading our crib!" em0 Mimi shouted after him.
"No Mimi, thank YOU!"
"SHUT UP MARI!"
Em0 Mark sighed and Jackie sat down on his lap. "This is gonna be a long day."
(a/n: That was Em0's chapter! She is brilliant!)
Dirty Roger stared at him. "You're a poser. Of myself."
"Don't make me hit you."
The two Mimi's were seated together on the floor. Dirty Mimi had em0 Mimi's hand in hers, and she was checking out the wedding ring. "That's pretty," she said. "Hey Roger?"
"Yeah?" They both said.
Dirty Mimi sighed and pointed to the Roger she wanted. "You. Not you."
"I think-" em0 Mimi said, looking over at her husband, em0 Roger. "That we should put ID bracelets on them. Or tie a piece of string around their fingers. Oh wait, never mind. Mine has his wedding ring on!"
Dirty Mimi glared at em0 Mimi. "Are you trying to come off sounding like you're better than me? Because you're married, or something?"
"No, I was just saying-"
"Yeah. Whatever," Dirty Mimi said, sighing and dropping em0 Mimi's hand. Just then, the power blew. A voice came over the loft:
"Hello my cherubs. Yes, I'm talking to the four of you. You are now faced with your first task."
"What the fuck is this? The Real World?" em0 Roger said
"No Sherlock, this is Cribs. But that's not the point. And don't sass me, blondie."
"Sorry," he apologized."
"This is Mari speaking. Now, let's pretend for a second that you are all smart bohemians. Your power just went out."
"Because of Benny?" Dirty Roger said.
"That fuck!" Dirty Mimi added.
There was a brief silence. "NO! NOT BECAUSE OF BENNY! Like the note says, we, Mari and Jan, control you! We are the authors!"
Em0 Roger shrugged. "Oh. Alright. Gotcha."
"Now that you have no power, what are you going to do? Oh! What's that! Look! The corner is lit up! The condoms are glowing! Go my cherubs! GOOOOOOO!"
"Was that God?" Dirty Roger asked.
Em0 Roger glared at him. "You're stupid. She just said she was Mari. My god."
Just then, the loft door opened and Mark's pregnant girlfriend Jackie from Before You Wake entered, singing to herself. She shined a flashlight into the room.
"Don't close the door!" they all shouted at her.
"Oh. Sorry." She smiled at em0 Roger and Mimi. "You guys are back! How was it? Did you have a good time?" She looked around and noticed another Roger and Mimi sitting on the couch. "Wait a minute, what's going on?"
"There's two of us. Our authors decided we should meet," Dirty Roger pointed out.
"Oh. Hmm, well I'm Jackie. Mark's girlfriend." She stuck out her hand politely for the other Roger and Mimi to shake.
"Yeah, I read that episode last week. The one where you went to Sydney and found out you were pregnant. Good shit," Dirty Roger laughed.
"Speaking of pregnant people," em0 Mimi added. "I've got a major bun in the oven."
"Is that Roger's baby?" Dirty Mimi asked.
Em0 Roger glared at her. "Of course it's my baby! Unless."
"Great! Now you gave him ideas!" em0 Mimi shouted at her.
"Ideas! The kid's Benny's, isn't it!"
"Is not!"
"Is to!"
"IS NOT!"
"IS TOO!"
"NO SEX FOR YOU!"
"GOOD!"
em0 Mimi and Roger huffed away from each other and sat down on barstools in the kitchen. Just then, em0 Mark entered, whistling to himself.
"Hello Mark Cohen."
He smiled. "Hello Mari, how are you today?"
"Very well, thank you. Go for the condoms! Let there be light!"
"Guys, there's glow in the dark condoms in the corner," em0 Mark said.
"Oh yeah," Dirty Mimi said. "There are. Wanna play Rog?"
He grinned and nodded. He grabbed a handful and scooped her up, slamming the door of em0 Roger's room.
"Hey! Those are my sheets! I just washed them!" em0 Roger shouted after them.
"Thanks for invading our crib!" em0 Mimi shouted after him.
"No Mimi, thank YOU!"
"SHUT UP MARI!"
Em0 Mark sighed and Jackie sat down on his lap. "This is gonna be a long day."
(a/n: That was Em0's chapter! She is brilliant!)