Change My Mind
Chapter Five"Ric, do you want to come for a drink with us later?" Diane asked, as Ric entered theatre.
"'Us' being us two, Kath, and Ed," Zubin put in.
Ric paused. "I can't, I'm afraid. I have plans."
"Is that plans as in going to see Jess or Leo, or plans as in a date?" Diane teased, expecting it to be the first. Ric hadn't had a date in ages, she thought to herself. Sam, that was probably the last woman he'd dated. And that… well, that was over a year ago.
"A date," Ric told her, taking a small piece of satisfaction in the expression that settled over Diane and Zubin's faces. Shock.
"With whom?" Zubin queried, lazily, mentally deciding whom the suspects might be. Kath? Helen? Chrissie? Rosie?
"Anita," replied Ric.
"Anita?" Diane exclaimed, shocked. "Anita Forbes? Tom Campbell-Gore's girlfriend, Anita?"
Zubin, sensing an argument brewing, began to pretend to read his book, listening intently to Ric and Diane. Ric almost laughed at the innocent expression on his face, but then turned his attention to Diane. "No. They've broken up, she's not his girlfriend anymore."
"But…" Diane trailed off, not sure what she wanted to say. Well, what she wanted to say was that he couldn't date Anita. Anita had already stolen one man from her, why did she have to take Ric too? Ric knew how she felt about Anita, why did he have to date her? Diane hardly dared let herself admit that she was jealous. Jealousy was a terribly thing, it wasn't something that she wanted to feel. But… she was.
"But what? Diane, she was crying in her office earlier. I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink to cheer her up." Ric was honestly confused at Diane's reaction. He had stood back and watched her date Danny, Steve, Tom… even Alex, Ric had always suspected that there was more to those two than Diane had let on. And each time he had been the one who was left to comfort her when she had been let down by them. But she had always been very clear that she never wanted more than friendship. And so… maybe it was time for him to move on, to forget about the whirlwind romance that had swept them both off their feet years ago.
"Ric, if you want to cheer her up, you talk to her or tell her a joke or something. You don't ask her out!" Throughout the past year, Diane had come to realise that Ric would always be there for her. He was her constant, the one she had come to rely on. She had begun to think that he was her safety net; he was the guarantee that she would never be alone. She needed him. She had believed that he would wait for her. But maybe… maybe he wouldn't.
"Diane, I asked Anita out for a drink, and you're acting as though I've committed some unpardonable sin. What's the matter with you?" Ric would never admit to anyone, probably not even himself, that he had had a slight ulterior motive for asking Anita out. She was an attractive woman, yes; he liked her, but his heart… that belonged to Diane. And, although he was prepared to try and move on, if this made Diane jealous, if it made her realise that she depended on him, as he knew that she did, then… Ric didn't pursue that thought any further. What will be will be. No point in speculation.
Zubin looked up from the book. "The book's getting interesting now," he commented. "The girl's just found out that the man she loves is with another woman…" He paused, and looked innocently at Diane and Ric, who both were glaring at him. "Did I say something inappropriate?"
*~*~*
Before she really knew what had happened, Anita found herself back at Tom's, trying to decide two things. Firstly, how to tell Tom, and secondly, what to wear. Clothes… she could solve that problem fairly easily, thankfully. And what to wear was a minor problem compared to having to tell Tom that she was going on a date with Ric Griffin. She didn't want to tell him. When she told him, he would be hurt. And… she hated hurting people. But Tom wasn't just someone that she could bracket under 'people'.
She sighed. Why had she even agreed to this? Stupid, stupid, stupid. It would have been a lot easier to just say 'No thanks, I've got plans', and leave it at that. She wouldn't have had to think about what to tell Tom, she wouldn't have had to think about how to act… and it would just have been so much easier.
There was still time to call and cancel, she thought, as she brushed her hair. Or was that rude? It was, she decided. She had made her mind up, and she would have to follow it through. You started it, you finish it, she told herself. It's just one drink. One evening out. With a friend. There is no reason that Tom should get annoyed, or hurt, or upset. But, in spite of this mantra, she didn't feel comforted.
She wouldn't even be able to drink. How was she going to explain that away? He'd seen her drink before; he would know that she wasn't averse to alcohol in any way. A jokey comment, something about Tom perhaps, that would have to do. Joke about Tom, reassure Ric that she was alright, and not on the verge of a breakdown, and then escape. Simple. Piece of cake. Easy as pie.
She was distracted from her inner struggle by the realisation that she was hungry. And 'going out for a drink' didn't involve eating. So… she would have to go downstairs and face Tom. And she would have to tell him. He would realise that something was wrong when he saw her, anyway. For some reason, he understood her. Anita didn't let herself admit that the reason he understood her, the reason she understood him, was because he loved her, she loved him.
She made her way downstairs slowly, pausing by the kitchen door. She placed one hand on the door handle. It was now or never. Go in there, tell him, get something to eat, leave. She took a deep breath, and opened the door. "Hi."
"Hi." He turned around, pausing as he saw what she was wearing. "You look… nice." That seemed the safest word to use.
She smiled uncomfortably. "Thanks."
"I assume you're going somewhere, then?" he asked, lightly. He didn't want to appear jealous.
"Yeah," she replied, softly. "I'm just going for a drink."
Tom felt that he should just accept that and not ask any questions, but he desperately wanted to know. "With whom?" He tried to put his mind at rest… it was probably someone like Kath; he'd noticed that the two of them had been quite friendly.
Anita felt herself blushing. She looked down at the floor. Red shoes, red face. "Ric Griffin…"
"Oh." Tom felt as though someone had pushed him. He didn't know what to say… or even what to think. Ric Griffin? She was going out with Ric Griffin. And it wasn't the fact that it was Ric, it was just the fact that it was… that she was going on a date. He'd assumed that their situation… they were living together, she was pregnant… it would work itself out eventually. But now, it was looking as though, maybe, it wouldn't.
Anita found herself justifying herself when she didn't want to. "I'm sorry, but… he asked me, and I didn't really know how to say no…"
Tom interrupted her. "You managed to say no easily enough to me."
"It's just a drink, it's nothing much… just…" Anita faltered. She didn't know what she was trying to say; all she knew was that she was trying, somehow, to make it easier for both of them.
Tom stopped her again. "No, it – it's good. You're moving on, that's good, I understand that." He didn't. He didn't know where the words were coming from; he just knew that he couldn't let her see how much she was hurting him. He didn't want her to know how much power she had over him.
Anita nodded slowly. "Okay." Part of her was inclined to agree, it was good to move on, Tom had hurt her, and she had accepted that it was over. But another part of her wanted to tell him that she wasn't moving on, that she still loved him as much as she had ever done.
*~*~*
Zubin handed Diane's drink to her, ignoring the angry look on her face. Kath and Ed were both laughing and talking, but Diane had sat in an annoyed silence for the past ten minutes. Zubin had guessed that it was down to Ric, but Kath and Ed were oblivious to the real reasoning.
"What's the matter, Diane?" Ed asked.
"Nothing." She sipped her drink and plastered a false smile onto her face. It was easy to pretend to others. If only she could pretend to herself in the same way.
"She's annoyed because Ric has a date," Zubin explained, exchanging a look with Kath.
"Oh? Who's he dating?" Ed queried.
"Is it Anita Forbes?" Kath put in.
"You know?" Diane demanded.
"Well, I was there when he asked her…" Kath took a sip of her drink and sat back comfortably.
"You were there? And you didn't do anything to stop it?" Diane asked, sounding to Zubin as though she was slightly hysterical.
"Diane, it wasn't a car accident!" Zubin told her, sternly.
"I know, but…" She sighed. "It's wrong. It's sick and twisted and it's wrong." She shook her head and gulped down the rest of her drink.
"Why is it so wrong?" Kath queried, honestly confused. She couldn't see why Diane was so upset over this. Ric was her best friend; surely she'd want him to be happy?
"Because… it's Ric. And Anita. And it's just… weird." Diane stood up to get another drink, and Ed followed her.
"Look, Diane… ah, why is it such a problem for you?" he asked, slowly, not wanting to offend her.
"It's not a problem for me! I just don't want Ric to get hurt, that's all!" She sighed, annoyed.
"Why'd you think that he'd get hurt?"
Diane was about to reply when she saw Ric walk in. "Oh God." She felt sick. Were they trying to annoy her? Drive her to the brink of suicide? Or murder?
"What?" Ed followed her glance. "Oh." He took her arm. "Come on."
"Where to?" She wasn't really paying attention, her gaze fixated on Ric and Anita. She noticed for the first time that Anita was annoyingly pretty. How was that fair?
Ed gently led her into the car park. "Are you alright?"
"No!" she said, exasperated, sitting down on the step. "Why did they have to come here? Why did they have to ruin my night out?"
"Were you really having a good time before?" Ed asked, sitting next to her. "Diane, what's the matter?"
She felt a lump forming in her throat. "I don't know. It's not that… I just… it's…" What was it? She didn't know herself. It wasn't that she was in love with Ric, she didn't want to be with him… but she didn't want anyone else to either. She didn't want Anita to have Ric; she didn't want her to take another man away from her. She didn't want anyone to have Ric. She wanted him to wait until she was ready to be with him.
Ed put an arm around her. "Is it Ric?"
She paused, not sure whether to laugh. "Well, did you think it was Anita?"
Ed grinned. "There we are. I got you to smile, at least."
She laughed. "You did." The smile vanished as she heard footsteps, and Ric's voice came into the darkness.
"Diane? Are you alright?"
Before she knew what she was doing, before she knew anything other than the fact that she had to make Ric realise that she wasn't jealous of him, she was perfectly fine, Diane leaned towards Ed and kissed him.
Ric, standing in the doorway, saw the woman he loved caught in a passionate embrace with another man. Sighing, he turned and walked back into the bar. To Anita. Who, although she wasn't Diane, was a good second-best.