Though JK Rowling owns the essence of HP and etc, this story is the
property of aiyah and Leftywrite.
Do not take any
Of our stuff or else we'll be
Very very mad.
(yea, horrible haiku.) {this chapter brought to you from Leftywrite via aiyah's typographic skillz}
---
Chapter 4: Heavens! (Ironically, what an entrance.)
Well, they were Going to leave for potions. Something impeded their plans, however. Just when Cadence was passing through the doors, he got bowled over by a space-efficient blonde woman with brilliant blue eyes.
"MUM!" she yelled across the Great Hall. "I was TRYING to summon Sherlock Holmes, but Moriarty popped out instead. And as sexy as the Napoleon of Crime is, he had very stalker-ific tendencies and major halitosis. So I just split and --- Oh, I'm sorry! Did I knock you over?"
Cadence murmured something along the lines of "Oui, Mademoiselle. C'est bien." Followed by some French curse as he looked at the state of his robes.
"Oh, stop being such a baby," Khani muttered as she performed yet another cleaning spell on his pants and pulled him up.
Professor McGonagall strode over to the woman and took her roughly by the arm. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Ms. Helia McGonagall. My daughter."
~*~*~*~
Normal people ate breakfast in the Great Hall. "Normal" meaning everyone but Filch, Snape, and Hecate Luna. This morning, the Potions Master had taken an uncharacteristic preview of his future victims, but he and Filch usually ate alone. Hecate, unfortunately, was eating separately against her will. She had severe monthly problems, and Not the kind Stay-free was happy to cure.
Oh no. Every month, normal women got normal problems.
Hecate got those normal problems as well. But she also had complications of black, man-eating proportions.
Yup, she was a were-panther.
Every month, she turned into a female Bagheera. Try doing That with your period.
So Dumbledore, who "wanted to keep student casualties to a bare minimum," had suggested that she go down to the Potion Master's dungeon to procure the feline equivalent of the wolfsbane potion. And perhaps a soothing serum for her cramps.
~*~*~*~
Severus Snape was assessing his class. Sixth-year potions.
He almost smirked, but held it back. Then he realized that he didn't Have to be decent in class, and allowed a Chesire-strength snickerdoodle smile to flood his face.
Pale bloodless lips, yellow teeth, and all. It was slightly sexy, in an older, black, and evil-icious sort of way. At least that was what Khani thought when she walked into the classroom. That is, until she saw the size of his schnozz.
Slytherin and Gryffindor took their respective seats as Snape strode around, with his hands clasped behind his back, hidden under his swooshy black robes. He was parading around and Iwai couldn't help but think about her fifth-grade English teacher. Wait. Wasn't her fifth-grade English teacher a Nun?? Well, Snape WAS wearing a clerical collar.
Oooh boy. Class was going to be . interesting.
"Another year begins. As such, I am STILL stuck with the dunderheads I taught last year. And, quite possibly, a new installment of feather-headed fools. You, girl--" he pointed abruptly at Iwai - "what is your name?"
"Iwailani Lei, Sister Benedictine."
Snape's nostrils flared to epic proportions. "I beg your pardon?"
Khani started laughing uncontrollably. VERY uncontrollably. She clutched her stomach and bent over in her chair. Unfortunately, this pseudo-asthma attack caught Snape's attention.
"And, you - over there." Something caught his eye - there was a black tattoo on the small of this one's back. "What is this .. this filth??"
Khani straightened up and turned around to face Snape. Flames leapt literally into her eyes. VERY literally. "THAT would be my pentacle. All who look upon it dye."
The nostrils were starting to resemble Mariana's Trench with an engorgement charm. "I BEG your pardon?"
"Is that your come back, or something? No, seriously, the most I'd do is bee-atch slap you for calling my personal mark 'filth.'"
~*~*~*~
Snape was so shocked that he had forgotten to take off points.
Instead, he got them started on a catalyst potion.
Which is where Hecate Luna chose to burst into class.
"SNAPE!!! YOU FORGOT TO---"
Hecate's pupils dilated and her face paled as she suddenly morphed into a black, slightly-rabid (okai, very rabid) were-panther.
She might have been trying to say something else (the words "you utter loser" come to mind), but all that came out was very scary, Colgate- smelling roars.
Snape had to do something before she attacked some student. "Sedite morpheus!" he roared above her panther-calls. A neat swish-and-flick of his wand, and the were-panther formerly known as Hecate Luna was lying on the floor in an Aurora-like slumber.
Snape casually slipped his wand inside of his robes. "Class dismissed."
Everyone hurriedly cleaned their cauldrons and scurried out, peering over petrified shoulders at the sleeping wild cat. Snape waited until they were all gone before reaching into his pocket to find the Sinite Serum. He trickled three drops into the panther's mouth, then he stepped back and watched the jungle feline body meld into that of Hecate Luna's. She cautiously sniffed the air for traces of potion.
"I smell cardamom, vanilla, and sandalwood. What the Hades is that?"
Snape gave her a full-bodied smirk with heavy overtones of sarcasm and a hint of amusement. "They were infused in the essence of Unicorn tears to form -- "
"---a catalyst potion. Damn. Okai, Snape." She eyeballed him with a very steely look in her face. "You'd better have the magical equivalent of Midol, or I'll,,,, I'll.." She paused for emphasis. "I'll BITE you."
Snape gave her what she wanted.
Sometimes it was just plain stupid to provoke a menstruating female.
*end chapter 4*
Do not take any
Of our stuff or else we'll be
Very very mad.
(yea, horrible haiku.) {this chapter brought to you from Leftywrite via aiyah's typographic skillz}
---
Chapter 4: Heavens! (Ironically, what an entrance.)
Well, they were Going to leave for potions. Something impeded their plans, however. Just when Cadence was passing through the doors, he got bowled over by a space-efficient blonde woman with brilliant blue eyes.
"MUM!" she yelled across the Great Hall. "I was TRYING to summon Sherlock Holmes, but Moriarty popped out instead. And as sexy as the Napoleon of Crime is, he had very stalker-ific tendencies and major halitosis. So I just split and --- Oh, I'm sorry! Did I knock you over?"
Cadence murmured something along the lines of "Oui, Mademoiselle. C'est bien." Followed by some French curse as he looked at the state of his robes.
"Oh, stop being such a baby," Khani muttered as she performed yet another cleaning spell on his pants and pulled him up.
Professor McGonagall strode over to the woman and took her roughly by the arm. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Ms. Helia McGonagall. My daughter."
~*~*~*~
Normal people ate breakfast in the Great Hall. "Normal" meaning everyone but Filch, Snape, and Hecate Luna. This morning, the Potions Master had taken an uncharacteristic preview of his future victims, but he and Filch usually ate alone. Hecate, unfortunately, was eating separately against her will. She had severe monthly problems, and Not the kind Stay-free was happy to cure.
Oh no. Every month, normal women got normal problems.
Hecate got those normal problems as well. But she also had complications of black, man-eating proportions.
Yup, she was a were-panther.
Every month, she turned into a female Bagheera. Try doing That with your period.
So Dumbledore, who "wanted to keep student casualties to a bare minimum," had suggested that she go down to the Potion Master's dungeon to procure the feline equivalent of the wolfsbane potion. And perhaps a soothing serum for her cramps.
~*~*~*~
Severus Snape was assessing his class. Sixth-year potions.
He almost smirked, but held it back. Then he realized that he didn't Have to be decent in class, and allowed a Chesire-strength snickerdoodle smile to flood his face.
Pale bloodless lips, yellow teeth, and all. It was slightly sexy, in an older, black, and evil-icious sort of way. At least that was what Khani thought when she walked into the classroom. That is, until she saw the size of his schnozz.
Slytherin and Gryffindor took their respective seats as Snape strode around, with his hands clasped behind his back, hidden under his swooshy black robes. He was parading around and Iwai couldn't help but think about her fifth-grade English teacher. Wait. Wasn't her fifth-grade English teacher a Nun?? Well, Snape WAS wearing a clerical collar.
Oooh boy. Class was going to be . interesting.
"Another year begins. As such, I am STILL stuck with the dunderheads I taught last year. And, quite possibly, a new installment of feather-headed fools. You, girl--" he pointed abruptly at Iwai - "what is your name?"
"Iwailani Lei, Sister Benedictine."
Snape's nostrils flared to epic proportions. "I beg your pardon?"
Khani started laughing uncontrollably. VERY uncontrollably. She clutched her stomach and bent over in her chair. Unfortunately, this pseudo-asthma attack caught Snape's attention.
"And, you - over there." Something caught his eye - there was a black tattoo on the small of this one's back. "What is this .. this filth??"
Khani straightened up and turned around to face Snape. Flames leapt literally into her eyes. VERY literally. "THAT would be my pentacle. All who look upon it dye."
The nostrils were starting to resemble Mariana's Trench with an engorgement charm. "I BEG your pardon?"
"Is that your come back, or something? No, seriously, the most I'd do is bee-atch slap you for calling my personal mark 'filth.'"
~*~*~*~
Snape was so shocked that he had forgotten to take off points.
Instead, he got them started on a catalyst potion.
Which is where Hecate Luna chose to burst into class.
"SNAPE!!! YOU FORGOT TO---"
Hecate's pupils dilated and her face paled as she suddenly morphed into a black, slightly-rabid (okai, very rabid) were-panther.
She might have been trying to say something else (the words "you utter loser" come to mind), but all that came out was very scary, Colgate- smelling roars.
Snape had to do something before she attacked some student. "Sedite morpheus!" he roared above her panther-calls. A neat swish-and-flick of his wand, and the were-panther formerly known as Hecate Luna was lying on the floor in an Aurora-like slumber.
Snape casually slipped his wand inside of his robes. "Class dismissed."
Everyone hurriedly cleaned their cauldrons and scurried out, peering over petrified shoulders at the sleeping wild cat. Snape waited until they were all gone before reaching into his pocket to find the Sinite Serum. He trickled three drops into the panther's mouth, then he stepped back and watched the jungle feline body meld into that of Hecate Luna's. She cautiously sniffed the air for traces of potion.
"I smell cardamom, vanilla, and sandalwood. What the Hades is that?"
Snape gave her a full-bodied smirk with heavy overtones of sarcasm and a hint of amusement. "They were infused in the essence of Unicorn tears to form -- "
"---a catalyst potion. Damn. Okai, Snape." She eyeballed him with a very steely look in her face. "You'd better have the magical equivalent of Midol, or I'll,,,, I'll.." She paused for emphasis. "I'll BITE you."
Snape gave her what she wanted.
Sometimes it was just plain stupid to provoke a menstruating female.
*end chapter 4*