Change My Mind

Chapter Seven

This is for Luce – I know how much you wanted to read it!

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"You'll both be glad to hear that Anita and I broke up yesterday," Ric told Diane and Zubin.

"Why would we be glad to hear that?" Zubin asked. "I'm sorry." He nudged Diane, and she echoed his statement. She truly was sorry. Maybe she didn't like Anita, maybe she had not approved of her relationship with Ric, and maybe she had been jealous, but she didn't want to see Ric hurt. He was her closest friend, and she wanted him to be happy.

As Zubin left the room, Diane took Ric's hand. "I really am sorry, Ric. I know you liked her."

Ric smiled. "I'll survive." It meant a lot to him that Diane was willing to tell him that. She might have thought that she was hiding her emotions, but Ric could read her like a book, and had noticed that she had seemed less than pleased over the past few weeks. Maybe now that Anita was out of the picture, Diane would return to normal.

*~*~*

Anita knocked on the door of Tom's office uncertainly. "Hi."

"So you've decided to show your face, then." His tone was cold, but not unpleasant. She took her cue from that, and went in.

"Yeah, I – I stayed at Ric's." She saw the hurt expression flicker over his face again and mentally kicked herself. "No, I don't mean… I didn't… we didn't… no." She shook her head. "We just talked, it's nothing…" Why was she incapable of forming complete sentences? "We decided that it wasn't going to work out," she finished, taking a small hint of pleasure in the expression on Tom's face.

"Oh. I'm sorry," he lied.

"Yes, well." She shrugged. "Look… about yesterday. I'm sorry about what I said." She hated apologising. But it was best to clear the air.

"When you accused me of being dependent on alcohol, you mean?"

"Yeah. That." She smiled, hoping that he would forgive her. "I had no right to say that. You trusted me, and I threw it back in your face. I'm sorry. I should never have said it."

"You shouldn't," he agreed. He paused. "But then, I should have trusted you. I suppose we were both in the wrong."

"Yeah." She sat down. "Forgive and forget?"

"Why not?"

*~*~*

"Ed, you might find that you'll be needing this," Ric informed the registrar, handing him a folder.

Ed looked confused. "Mrs Bryce's notes. Ah… thanks. Where'd you find them?"

"On the floor by your locker." Ric laughed. He hadn't spoken to Ed since he had seen him with Diane, and had never really dared to broach the subject with her, so he had no idea of what might have gone on between them. "Look, Ed, I realise that this is none of my business, but… you and Diane… is anything happening?"

Surprised, Ed stopped walking. "What? Diane?" he repeated. "Oh… you think… no." He laughed. "That was just a bit of a misunderstanding. Why'd you ask?"

"Oh, I just wondered. She's my friend, I care about her." Ric tried to sound casual. "So… you're not together?"

"No, no. She's a friend, that's all." Ed wasn't sure how much Ric knew about Diane's feelings, and so decided to play it safe. "She was just a bit confused, a bit depressed, that night."

"Depressed?"

"Yeah, seeing you with Anita, I think it just shocked her a bit." Ed began to walk away again.

"She didn't happen to tell you why she's been so distant recently, did she?" Ric asked, curiously. He just wanted to help her. He loved her, he didn't want to see her hurt or unhappy.

Ed shrugged. "Yeah. She cares about you a lot, you know. It hurt her to see you with someone else." He smiled. "Thanks for the folder." He walked away, leaving Ric confused.

*~*~*

Anita placed the folder on the desk gently. As she turned to leave, she caught sight of Diane. She walked over to her slowly. "Diane, I… how's Ric?"

"He's been better," Diane retorted, moving away. "But don't worry. I doubt he'll lose any sleep over you."

Anita glared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just don't think that you're the sort of girl who could break his heart," Diane told her, calmly.

"No, that's you, isn't it?" Anita turned to walk away, smirking to herself.

"I beg your pardon?" Diane asked, sounding icily polite – a sure sign that she was annoyed.

Anita smiled. "I went on two dates with him, and I had to spend five nights listening to him talking about you. You broke his heart, you know. That poor guy loves you and you treat him like dirt."

"I'm sorry, I don't see how I got dragged into this." Diane crossed her arms and leant against the desk, choosing to ignore Anita's last comment. She couldn't have hurt Ric that badly, he couldn't love her. Anita was lying… trying to hurt her.

"Got dragged into this? You started this!" Anita exclaimed. "I asked a polite question, and you started attacking me."

"I did not!"

"You did too!" Anita nearly laughed as she heard herself say that. Part of her had never stopped being six years old and arguing with her cousins over who ate the last packet of crisps, evidently.

"I don't see what your problem is," Diane said, annoyed. "You waltz in here and start dating every man you see…"

"I'd think about what you're saying before you say it, if I were you," Anita advised. "I've been out with two people from the hospital and I've worked here for five years. You've been here about a year and you've already slept your way around most of the men here."

"At least I haven't forced anyone to move to the other side of the world and then broken up with them a few weeks later!"

Anita looked down, trying to hide how much that hurt. "That is none of your business. What happened in America is between me and Tom." She put a hand to her side as she felt a twinge, and winced.

"Are you alright?" Diane queried, the doctor in her coming to the fore.

"Stomach cramp." She clutched onto the desk for support.

"Surely you can cope with stomach cramps," Diane commented, incredulously.

"No, it's not – not that, no." Anita sat down. "Oh." She breathed in deeply. "I'm pregnant." She was starting to panic. "Can you – can you help me get to maternity or something? Or are you just going to stand there?" she added, annoyed.

Diane waited for her to stand up, and walked slowly with her to maternity. They walked in silence, Diane worrying that this was her fault, that she had caused this, and Anita in a state of utter panic that something had gone wrong. They didn't speak until Anita was sitting in a consulting room, waiting for Mubbs.

"I – I didn't realise," Diane said, slowly. "I wouldn't have said anything if I knew…"

Anita was glad of a chance to speak, a chance to try and take her mind off the fear that was enshrouding her. "That's why I'm not telling people. I don't want to be wrapped in cotton wool." She paused. "Well, that, and I wasn't sure if I wanted it."

"Wasn't? Past tense?" Diane shook her head. "Sorry, I'm being nosy, I've got no right to…"

Anita smiled. "It's okay." She winced again. "I decided that I'm going to keep it." She paused again, one hand on her side where it hurt. "I might not get that choice now." She spoke lightly, not wanting to show Diane how near to tears she was, not wanting to let on how much this was affecting her.

"Don't say that, I'm sure you'll be fine," Diane said, although she had no idea what she was saying.

"I'm not worried about me," Anita told her.

Diane smiled slightly and squeezed her hand supportively. "Do you want me to call Ric?"

"Ric? Why?" Anita queried, confused. She put a hand on her stomach. "Oh, you think he's…? No, no…" She laughed. "No, I've not even slept with him, he's not the father."

Diane looked embarrassed. "Oh, sorry, I didn't…" She paused. "Ric said you'd slept together."

Anita shot her a look. "Great."

"Well, he said you stayed at his, I assumed he meant you'd slept together…" Diane trailed off.

"I stayed on the sofa last night because I was too lazy to drive home. And I don't think that there's any chance that I'd find out I was pregnant in about twelve hours." Anita drew in a sharp breath. "Oh." Tears stung at the back of her eyes and she involuntarily gripped Diane's hand. "Thank you for – for staying with me."

Diane smiled nervously. "Well, I wasn't going to just leave you, was I?"

Mubbs entered and looked between them. "Which one of you's the pregnant one?" he queried.

"That would be me," Anita told him.

"Ah yes, the hand on the stomach's a dead giveaway," Mubbs joked. Diane glared at him. "Not a time for jokes? Alright."

"It hurts," Anita whispered. She turned to Diane. "Diane, could you – would you mind calling Tom? I just… I know it's selfish, but I want him here. If anything happens…" Tom was the one person who she would let herself break down in front of. He was the one person that she would let know how afraid she was. If he said that it would be all right, then she would believe him. But, more than that, she just wanted to see a familiar face.

Diane smiled. "Of course." She paused before leaving the room. "Be gentle with her, Mubbs."

*~*~*

Tom, sitting with Ed and Zubin in the bar, didn't even hear his phone ring.

*~*~*

Ric was engrossed in paperwork, trying desperately to put Ed's comments out of his mind, when he heard a noise outside, and Diane burst in, on the verge of tears. He stood up. "Diane? What's the matter?"

"Anita, she – it's all my fault!"

Ric put an arm around her. "What's your fault?"

"She – we – me and Anita, we started fighting, and she – she nearly lost the baby, Ric…" She felt the tears running down her face and was powerless to stop them.

Ric sat down and pulled Diane down next to him. "What happened?" he asked, gently.

"I said some awful things to her… and then she started getting cramps, and she thought she'd lost the baby…" The words were spilling over each other, she wanted to tell Ric, and she wanted him to reassure her that it was not her fault, that it was just one of those things.

"Did she lose it?" he queried, concerned.

"She didn't, but Ric, if she had, it would have been my fault, I nearly killed her baby!" She was sobbing now, her head on his shoulder.

"Diane, lots of women get stomach cramps when they're pregnant, you didn't cause them, and you are in no way responsible for what happened." He smiled at her. "You understand?"

"You – you mean it?" she choked.

"Would I lie to you?" He stood up, and she followed his example. "Now, you go home, have a good sleep, and you'll feel better in the morning, I'm sure."

She hesitated. "Can I – can I stay here a bit longer?"

"Of course you can." He smoothed the tears away from her cheeks and pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, looking up at him. He was playing with her hair, and if anyone else had done that, she would have backed away instantly. But when Ric did it, she liked it. Suddenly, on an impulse, she reached up and kissed him lightly.

He looked at her in some surprise. "What was that?" he queried.

"Just… I – I don't know…" she faltered. "I wanted to – to see…" She stopped. "I spoke to Anita, she – she said that…"

"I'll kill her," Ric mumbled to himself. "Did she say anything along the same lines as what Ed said to me?" he asked Diane.

Diane looked up, surprised. "You spoke to Ed?"

"He said that you…" Ric trailed off, and stopped playing with her hair. "Do you want to go down this road again?"

She looked into his eyes, and saw her answer. "Yes."

He kissed her gently, and she felt happier than she had done in a long time. And she didn't have to speak to know that he felt the same.

*~*~*

As he left the bar, Tom idly glanced at his phone, not expecting to have any messages. To his surprise, it informed him that he had missed thirteen calls.

"Tom, this is Diane. Listen, Anita's in maternity and she's asking for you…" He didn't bother to listen to any more, but rushed to his car as quickly as he could.

"Tom? What's the matter?" Ed queried, looking concerned at the expression on Tom's face.

"Anita… I've got to go…" was all that Tom managed to say, before he was in the car and driving off, slightly over the speed limit. Within a few minutes, he was arriving at the hospital, just in time to see Anita walking slowly towards her car. He walked towards her. "Anita?"

"Where were you?" she demanded, tears running down her face.

"I was in the bar with Ed… is everything okay?" He hugged her, hating to see her crying.

"It's fine. Just a bit of pain, apparently it's normal." She felt comfortable in his arms. She was angry that he had stayed away, but she couldn't focus on that now, because she so badly needed him to hold her and comfort her. She didn't want to feel like this, he had let her down when she needed him, and she didn't want to depend on him. She still loved him. She knew that. She had known it all along. And he still loved her, she was almost sure of it.

"The baby…?" He didn't dare to finish the question, terrified that she was crying because she had lost the baby.

"The baby's fine, don't you worry." Suddenly a surge of anger overtook her, and she tore herself away from him. "Not that you were worried. You weren't there, you obviously thought it was more important to have a drink with Ed…"

"I didn't know…"

"Diane must have rung you twenty times!"

"Thirteen," he corrected her. She glared at him. "Look, Anita, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing you can say." She wiped the tears from her cheeks impatiently. "Tom, you promised that you'd be there if I ever needed you. I needed you tonight, and you weren't there. I needed you more than I have ever needed anybody in my life. I thought that I was losing the one thing that means something to me in this world, and I just – I wanted you there, I would have given anything to have you there, Tom. Because I thought that this meant something to you as well, I thought that you still cared about me, or if not about me, then I thought that you cared about this baby. I didn't think that you'd ignore me – us – when something like this happened."

He took her hand in his, and drew her close to him. "Anita, I do care about you and about our baby. I care about you more than I've ever cared about anything in my life."

"I've decided to keep it, you know." She placed a hand protectively on her stomach.

"Anita, that – that's wonderful," he managed to say. "I'll – I will be there every step of the way, I promise." He meant it. He wanted nothing more than to help her.

She looked at him for a moment. "I thought you meant what you said, you know. I thought you would be there if I needed you."

"I did mean it…" He paused, trying to put his feelings into words. But she spoke before he had a chance.

"Then why weren't you here tonight?" She smiled sadly and walked away.