A/N: Wow, I write a lot. Guess that this is more fun to do than homework!
Or something... Anyway, I have decided to drop the rating from R to PG-13
so that more people can find the story. If something happens and I feel
that the R rating is more appropriate I will change it back. Again,
comments are welcome. If I get some encouraging ones I may just keep
writing this! Wouldn't that be scary... Actually, I'm sure I'll continue
anyway, but the comments might make it come faster.
Disclaimer: As I'm sure you could have all guessed, Naruto's not mine, nor are any of the characters found therein.
Iceheart19: Thanks for the kind review!
........
That night was a long one for Naruto as he analyzed the day over his traditional dinner of instant ramen. Dobe. It was a nickname he had earned through a surprising amount of hard work and effort, and he knew that, yet... It still stung to hear the words coming from Sasuke's mouth! Sasuke, who recognized nobody, had recognized him as a failure when, unknown to anyone, Naruto could have surpassed them all any time he chose.
Deliberately, he once again reconciled himself to his situation. He kept up this idiotic façade for a reason, and although it was often difficult, it was necessary. It had become an assumption in the Hidden Leaf Village that if there was quiet, then Naruto was elsewhere - an assumption that Naruto often used to his benefit as an effective cover to watch anyone he chose. In order to one day fulfill his dream of becoming hokage, he would have to prove himself to the entire village. His act kept those around him from taking him seriously, a distinct advantage that he would use to its fullest when the time came. More than a few eyebrows would be raised at the appropriate time in the future when the real Naruto began to shine. In the meantime, however, the emotional drain was taking its toll. It was difficult to pretend to be something he was not day in and day out. The grins he plastered on in the presence of others became more strained every day.
Even worse, he had been slipping recently. Fortunately, the only one who had witnessed this lapse in his disguise was Iruka-sensei, and he would never recognize Naruto's brilliance for what it was unless it was shoved in his face. Naruto adored Iruka-sensei and knew that the man was fond of him as well, but... Mastering the Kage Bunshin No Jutsu in a matter of hours... That jutsu was a forbidden technique. A typical student should never have been able to master such a technique in such a small amount of time, particularly one at Naruto's supposed achievement level.
After the teams had been assigned, he had spent his afternoon being as Naruto-ish as possible. First, his bumbling attack on Sasuke so that he could hit on Sakura and later the drabble about ramen he had sprouted at their orientation with Kakashi-sensei. He would be in closer proximity with his new team than he had ever been with even one other person in his entire life; he knew that he needed to establish his character even more firmly in their minds in these first few days. Both of his new teammates were intelligent, watchful, and just waiting for a chance to make him miserable. His new sensei was almost as skilled at putting up a nonchalant façade as Naruto had become, and this worried the boy. If Naruto could see through Kakashi-sensei, then it was very likely that Kakashi-sensei could see through him. Another slip in the near future could be devastating for his disguise. But oh, the look on their faces if they ever learned that the Naruto they knew, the dumb, bumbling idiot was nothing more than a mask... Especially Sakura's.
Sakura-chan... In truth, he was not quite sure how he felt about her. In order to maintain his act as easily as possible, he had been sure to weave many of his real personality traits into his disguise. He made them dumber and louder, of course, but it was inevitable that much of the real Naruto would surface under the guise of the idiot the rest of the world knew. Suspicion was avoided by embracing those parts of himself that he knew he could not always suppress and exaggerating them to the annoyance of all. His love for ramen, his need to be acknowledged, his sheer perseverance and strength of will... All of these qualities were a part of the carefully hidden Naruto as well. With a goal in mind, even the intelligent and logical part of him would never give up.
It was for this reason that he remained unsure about his feelings for Sakura-chan. He did not love her the way he allowed others to think he did, Naruto did know that. Such a love would be foolish since it would never be returned or accepted by Sakura as long as she fawned over Sasuke. She felt that Naruto was annoying, yet when she forgot that he was Naruto she treated him better than most of her peers. She could not understand his situation, and even if he were to reveal his full intelligence and his real personality to her, he knew that she would be reluctant to accept him. No, he did not love Sakura-chan, but he did... He did care for her. Despite her flaws, she had been nicer to him than most, and they were teammates now. He would protect her with his life if he had to.
Unwillingly, he finally dragged his thoughts back to the scene he had accidentally caused at the orientation. This, too, needed to be dissected.
It was alarming how quickly and efficiently Sasuke had managed to get under his skin. Between their unwitting kiss and the way Sasuke's disapproval rankled, Naruto was at a loss. Again, they were teammates..... But how far did that bond truly go with them?
Naruto knew of Sasuke's past; as he had done with all of the members of the class he had graduated with, Naruto had gone out of his way to learn as much as possible about Sasuke. Surprisingly, of all the members of their class, Sasuke resembled Naruto the most. In truth, he felt... No, he wouldn't call it pity. He felt a large amount of compassion for the other boy. The burning hatred that had prompted Naruto to confront the other boy in front of the rest of their peers had finally subsided enough to allow logical thought, and he took advantage of that now.
Life had been as cruel to Sasuke as it had been to Naruto. Neither had had parents to acknowledge them, and in a society where the acknowledgement of peers and adults meant everything... Well, they both led difficult and empty lives in comparison to the rest of their classmates. Someone like Sakura could never understand what either boy had gone through, and that similarity should have been enough to create some sort of bond or friendship between the two boys. Unfortunately, though, each had developed their own way of coping with their losses. Whereas Naruto hid behind his loud mouth and forced cheerfulness, Sasuke just... Clammed up. Naruto intentionally pushed people away by irritating them while Sasuke formed a shell around himself that nothing could break through. His defenses were as effective as Naruto's, but more straightforward; Sasuke was able to excel in everything he did, and indeed, he was expected to. While Naruto was busy maintaining his mask of stupidity, Sasuke was able to openly display his intelligence, yet by keeping his emotions under lock and key the boy kept people away as effectively as Naruto.
And yet... And yet, Naruto understood that Sasuke's forced coldness must be as tiring and as difficult to maintain as his own cover.
As he ate, he was aware of the silhouette watching him from the growing shadows outside his window. As usual, he ignored the intrusion; his only response was to plaster his usual stupid grin across his face as he slurped his ramen loudly. As the lurker slunk away, Naruto let his smile fade slowly. Indeed, he wasn't the only person wearing a disguise.
His graduation was not the only change in his life. This new team might be the undoing of his careful disguise. With such close contact with others, it would be difficult. He would have to be on guard all of the time now, and that could be troublesome, but...
Perhaps it was time for a change.
Disclaimer: As I'm sure you could have all guessed, Naruto's not mine, nor are any of the characters found therein.
Iceheart19: Thanks for the kind review!
........
That night was a long one for Naruto as he analyzed the day over his traditional dinner of instant ramen. Dobe. It was a nickname he had earned through a surprising amount of hard work and effort, and he knew that, yet... It still stung to hear the words coming from Sasuke's mouth! Sasuke, who recognized nobody, had recognized him as a failure when, unknown to anyone, Naruto could have surpassed them all any time he chose.
Deliberately, he once again reconciled himself to his situation. He kept up this idiotic façade for a reason, and although it was often difficult, it was necessary. It had become an assumption in the Hidden Leaf Village that if there was quiet, then Naruto was elsewhere - an assumption that Naruto often used to his benefit as an effective cover to watch anyone he chose. In order to one day fulfill his dream of becoming hokage, he would have to prove himself to the entire village. His act kept those around him from taking him seriously, a distinct advantage that he would use to its fullest when the time came. More than a few eyebrows would be raised at the appropriate time in the future when the real Naruto began to shine. In the meantime, however, the emotional drain was taking its toll. It was difficult to pretend to be something he was not day in and day out. The grins he plastered on in the presence of others became more strained every day.
Even worse, he had been slipping recently. Fortunately, the only one who had witnessed this lapse in his disguise was Iruka-sensei, and he would never recognize Naruto's brilliance for what it was unless it was shoved in his face. Naruto adored Iruka-sensei and knew that the man was fond of him as well, but... Mastering the Kage Bunshin No Jutsu in a matter of hours... That jutsu was a forbidden technique. A typical student should never have been able to master such a technique in such a small amount of time, particularly one at Naruto's supposed achievement level.
After the teams had been assigned, he had spent his afternoon being as Naruto-ish as possible. First, his bumbling attack on Sasuke so that he could hit on Sakura and later the drabble about ramen he had sprouted at their orientation with Kakashi-sensei. He would be in closer proximity with his new team than he had ever been with even one other person in his entire life; he knew that he needed to establish his character even more firmly in their minds in these first few days. Both of his new teammates were intelligent, watchful, and just waiting for a chance to make him miserable. His new sensei was almost as skilled at putting up a nonchalant façade as Naruto had become, and this worried the boy. If Naruto could see through Kakashi-sensei, then it was very likely that Kakashi-sensei could see through him. Another slip in the near future could be devastating for his disguise. But oh, the look on their faces if they ever learned that the Naruto they knew, the dumb, bumbling idiot was nothing more than a mask... Especially Sakura's.
Sakura-chan... In truth, he was not quite sure how he felt about her. In order to maintain his act as easily as possible, he had been sure to weave many of his real personality traits into his disguise. He made them dumber and louder, of course, but it was inevitable that much of the real Naruto would surface under the guise of the idiot the rest of the world knew. Suspicion was avoided by embracing those parts of himself that he knew he could not always suppress and exaggerating them to the annoyance of all. His love for ramen, his need to be acknowledged, his sheer perseverance and strength of will... All of these qualities were a part of the carefully hidden Naruto as well. With a goal in mind, even the intelligent and logical part of him would never give up.
It was for this reason that he remained unsure about his feelings for Sakura-chan. He did not love her the way he allowed others to think he did, Naruto did know that. Such a love would be foolish since it would never be returned or accepted by Sakura as long as she fawned over Sasuke. She felt that Naruto was annoying, yet when she forgot that he was Naruto she treated him better than most of her peers. She could not understand his situation, and even if he were to reveal his full intelligence and his real personality to her, he knew that she would be reluctant to accept him. No, he did not love Sakura-chan, but he did... He did care for her. Despite her flaws, she had been nicer to him than most, and they were teammates now. He would protect her with his life if he had to.
Unwillingly, he finally dragged his thoughts back to the scene he had accidentally caused at the orientation. This, too, needed to be dissected.
It was alarming how quickly and efficiently Sasuke had managed to get under his skin. Between their unwitting kiss and the way Sasuke's disapproval rankled, Naruto was at a loss. Again, they were teammates..... But how far did that bond truly go with them?
Naruto knew of Sasuke's past; as he had done with all of the members of the class he had graduated with, Naruto had gone out of his way to learn as much as possible about Sasuke. Surprisingly, of all the members of their class, Sasuke resembled Naruto the most. In truth, he felt... No, he wouldn't call it pity. He felt a large amount of compassion for the other boy. The burning hatred that had prompted Naruto to confront the other boy in front of the rest of their peers had finally subsided enough to allow logical thought, and he took advantage of that now.
Life had been as cruel to Sasuke as it had been to Naruto. Neither had had parents to acknowledge them, and in a society where the acknowledgement of peers and adults meant everything... Well, they both led difficult and empty lives in comparison to the rest of their classmates. Someone like Sakura could never understand what either boy had gone through, and that similarity should have been enough to create some sort of bond or friendship between the two boys. Unfortunately, though, each had developed their own way of coping with their losses. Whereas Naruto hid behind his loud mouth and forced cheerfulness, Sasuke just... Clammed up. Naruto intentionally pushed people away by irritating them while Sasuke formed a shell around himself that nothing could break through. His defenses were as effective as Naruto's, but more straightforward; Sasuke was able to excel in everything he did, and indeed, he was expected to. While Naruto was busy maintaining his mask of stupidity, Sasuke was able to openly display his intelligence, yet by keeping his emotions under lock and key the boy kept people away as effectively as Naruto.
And yet... And yet, Naruto understood that Sasuke's forced coldness must be as tiring and as difficult to maintain as his own cover.
As he ate, he was aware of the silhouette watching him from the growing shadows outside his window. As usual, he ignored the intrusion; his only response was to plaster his usual stupid grin across his face as he slurped his ramen loudly. As the lurker slunk away, Naruto let his smile fade slowly. Indeed, he wasn't the only person wearing a disguise.
His graduation was not the only change in his life. This new team might be the undoing of his careful disguise. With such close contact with others, it would be difficult. He would have to be on guard all of the time now, and that could be troublesome, but...
Perhaps it was time for a change.