Stubborn and Clueless
Chapter 23
by Fidomom
Everybody looked up when Brady wheeled Chloe out in a wheelchair. Their faces broke into relieved yet still worried smiles. Chloe took a deep breath. She knew exactly what she wanted to say and she knew that it would make everyone uncomfortable but she really felt she needed to be honest with them all. She looked over her shoulder, up at Brady and motioned for him to stand with the others. What she had to say was intended for all of them. She only hoped her honesty would not alienate them from her. She almost tripped on that notion; almost decided against honesty but forced herself to plunge forward anyway,
"Hi everyone. I guess you all are wondering what happened at Tuscany tonight; why I collapsed. I've just spoken with my doctor and he told me I have leukemia; cancer of the blood. He wants to start me on chemotherapy tonight. I wanted to be the one to tell all of you. That isn't all I want to say though. I understand that each of you are here tonight because you care or even love me and that really means a lot to me. It matters. More than you can fully know. What I'm about to say what I'm about to ask of you will sound harsh and I'm sorry about that but I have to be honest. What I am facing is a long uncomfortable treatment for a disease that if left untreated would kill me. It's what I am facing ... not any of you. None of you can go through this for me. None of you can heal me by loving me more than anyone else does. The treatments from what I understand are going to sap my strength, my energy, my naturally cheerful disposition. Yes that actually was a joke. I'm going to need a lot of positive strength and energy. I'm hoping that each of you is willing to be there for me. However, if all you have to offer me is worried frowns and frightened tears then please stay away. I can't expend my energy consoling or reassuring any of you. I have to be selfish. I know it and I don't like it but this is my life on the line. My life is being threatened. I have to focus on fighting that threat. I can't be there for any of you to soothe your fears I have my own battle to fight. So don't tell me how it upsets you to see me going through this. I care so deeply about each and every one of you. You'll only make it harder on me to fight this if I'm consumed with worrying about how my being ill is affecting you. Don't burden me with your worries and fears about my leukemia or the effects the treatment is having on me. It's a selfish request. I'm asking you to be there for me without leaning on me. If and when I am cured I will be at liberty to stop being selfish but until then please don't ask me to pat your hand because as much as I care as much as I'd like to make this easier on all of you, I really can't do it."
Tears dripped off Chloe's chin as she choked out the last few words. She was terrified that she'd said it wrong; that they would misunderstand. It wasn't her intention to make any of them feel unwanted or unappreciated. She took a good look at the faces around her. She saw hurt bewilderment on Brady's and Nancy's faces. She saw a pensive look on Belle's face, total understanding on Shawn's and Craig's faces, and worry creasing Philip's brow. All of their eyes shone with one unspoken truth ... they all genuinely cared for her. For that she was deeply grateful. She only hoped they could each respect her wishes.
Craig offered Chloe an encouraging smile and put his arm around Brady's shoulder as he spoke quietly,
"Brady? Do you want to take Chloe for her first round of chemo or shall I?"
Brady startled, still mulling over everything his wife had just said,
"What? Oh no Dr. Wesley, I'll do it. She's my wife. It's my right and my privelege now to take care of her."
Craig nodded,
"The sooner the better, Brady."
Brady moved to resume his earlier position behind Chloe's wheelchair,
"Right. Of course. Ready to go now, Chloe?"
Chloe nodded and Brady began to wheel her away. He backed her wheelchair onto an empty elevator. Chloe had a final glimpse of her friends and family framed by the open elevator doors. As the doors closed on the sight she vowed to herself that she would never forget or take for granted what each of them meant to her. Not ever.
TBC
Chapter 23
by Fidomom
Everybody looked up when Brady wheeled Chloe out in a wheelchair. Their faces broke into relieved yet still worried smiles. Chloe took a deep breath. She knew exactly what she wanted to say and she knew that it would make everyone uncomfortable but she really felt she needed to be honest with them all. She looked over her shoulder, up at Brady and motioned for him to stand with the others. What she had to say was intended for all of them. She only hoped her honesty would not alienate them from her. She almost tripped on that notion; almost decided against honesty but forced herself to plunge forward anyway,
"Hi everyone. I guess you all are wondering what happened at Tuscany tonight; why I collapsed. I've just spoken with my doctor and he told me I have leukemia; cancer of the blood. He wants to start me on chemotherapy tonight. I wanted to be the one to tell all of you. That isn't all I want to say though. I understand that each of you are here tonight because you care or even love me and that really means a lot to me. It matters. More than you can fully know. What I'm about to say what I'm about to ask of you will sound harsh and I'm sorry about that but I have to be honest. What I am facing is a long uncomfortable treatment for a disease that if left untreated would kill me. It's what I am facing ... not any of you. None of you can go through this for me. None of you can heal me by loving me more than anyone else does. The treatments from what I understand are going to sap my strength, my energy, my naturally cheerful disposition. Yes that actually was a joke. I'm going to need a lot of positive strength and energy. I'm hoping that each of you is willing to be there for me. However, if all you have to offer me is worried frowns and frightened tears then please stay away. I can't expend my energy consoling or reassuring any of you. I have to be selfish. I know it and I don't like it but this is my life on the line. My life is being threatened. I have to focus on fighting that threat. I can't be there for any of you to soothe your fears I have my own battle to fight. So don't tell me how it upsets you to see me going through this. I care so deeply about each and every one of you. You'll only make it harder on me to fight this if I'm consumed with worrying about how my being ill is affecting you. Don't burden me with your worries and fears about my leukemia or the effects the treatment is having on me. It's a selfish request. I'm asking you to be there for me without leaning on me. If and when I am cured I will be at liberty to stop being selfish but until then please don't ask me to pat your hand because as much as I care as much as I'd like to make this easier on all of you, I really can't do it."
Tears dripped off Chloe's chin as she choked out the last few words. She was terrified that she'd said it wrong; that they would misunderstand. It wasn't her intention to make any of them feel unwanted or unappreciated. She took a good look at the faces around her. She saw hurt bewilderment on Brady's and Nancy's faces. She saw a pensive look on Belle's face, total understanding on Shawn's and Craig's faces, and worry creasing Philip's brow. All of their eyes shone with one unspoken truth ... they all genuinely cared for her. For that she was deeply grateful. She only hoped they could each respect her wishes.
Craig offered Chloe an encouraging smile and put his arm around Brady's shoulder as he spoke quietly,
"Brady? Do you want to take Chloe for her first round of chemo or shall I?"
Brady startled, still mulling over everything his wife had just said,
"What? Oh no Dr. Wesley, I'll do it. She's my wife. It's my right and my privelege now to take care of her."
Craig nodded,
"The sooner the better, Brady."
Brady moved to resume his earlier position behind Chloe's wheelchair,
"Right. Of course. Ready to go now, Chloe?"
Chloe nodded and Brady began to wheel her away. He backed her wheelchair onto an empty elevator. Chloe had a final glimpse of her friends and family framed by the open elevator doors. As the doors closed on the sight she vowed to herself that she would never forget or take for granted what each of them meant to her. Not ever.
TBC