Chapter 9 - The Funeral
Christmas arrived much to early for James' liking, he hated that his favourite time of the year had been ruined by some evil maniac. So it was with a heavy heart that he got onto the Hogwarts Express with Remus on the first day of the holidays. The others had decided to stay for Christmas, but Remus always had to go home when he could, his mother liked to keep an eye on him. James didn't blame her, if he had a child that was a werewolf, he'd keep an eye on him too. Remus was a very intelligent boy, and self- sufficient and he didn't really need protecting, but mothers will be mothers.
They sat together in an otherwise empty compartment, neither of them speaking very much. James wasn't really in the mood for conversation, but he also hated the silence, it was somehow deafening, so he broke it, "I've always hated funerals, they're so depressing." He would have liked to come up with a better topic, but his mind was a little one tracked at that time. He hadn't actually been to may funerals, and never to one for anyone he really cared about, but even at the couple for distant family members he didn't know he always came away depressed. "I think you're right James." That was all Remus had to say. That was something James really liked about Remus, he didn't speak unnecessarily, and he didn't seem to feel the need to fill a silence with needless chitchat. They travelled the rest of the way in silence.
His parents and Cara were at the train station to meet him. They smiled and waved him towards them, but their eyes betrayed them, they were dull and lifeless. James was reminded forcibly of the old muggle saying he'd once heard, 'the eyes are the window to the soul'. James was shocked at the huge change that had occurred in his family since the summer. They seemed gaunt and tired, his mother didn't fuss about the state of his hair and his father had lost the mischievous grin he always wore. They had both lost a lot of weight. But it was the change in Cara that distressed James the most. She seemed to have given up styling her hair, and her usually slight frame looked even smaller, like she'd shrunk, she looked like she'd fade away any second. When she ran into his arms he found she was lighter too, this couldn't be healthy.
Her personality hadn't changed much, she was still sweet, caring, generous and completely unselfish. He ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead like he always did, earning a small, weak smile. He returned it. He couldn't stand seeing her like this, she was only nine, and she shouldn't have to handle this sort of sadness. It would almost have been easier if she had dissolved into tears, but she hadn't. She was strong; her selfless nature prevented her from being weak. James hugged her hard, wishing there was something he could do to take away her pain.
The funeral was just the next day, his Nana's birthday. It hurt him to think about it. James family had all gathered in his grandparents' favourite park, under their favourite tree. They had met there, and it somehow seemed the best way to remember them. The service was beautiful, nothing at all like he'd remembered of the others he'd went to. James family did not believe in God, but they did believe that death wasn't necessarily the end, more the beginning of something new. Friends of his grandparents stood and told the group all about their memories of them as a young couple, glowing with the first realisation of true love. His father spoke about his memories of them, the meals, and the practical jokes. He heard the breath catch in his father's throat and James didn't think he'd be able to finish, but he did. James had been asked to speak, So legs wobbling and tears threatening to escape his eyes he stood and looked around a the group,
"I don't know if there are words to describe how much my Nana and Grandad meant to me. I can't find them. I love them very much, as I'm sure all of you do. I can almost see them now, laughing at us and the solemnity of this service. I'm sure Grandad would have considered turning someone's hair blue to lighten the mood. I'm sure that wherever they are, they're happy, they're together, and for them I'm sure they consider death to be merely the beginning of the next great adventure." He looked round at the gathering, feeling infinitely calmer than he had since he got the news about his grandparents. Professor Dumbledore caught his eye and nodded approvingly. James hadn't even realised he'd been invited, but it seemed only reasonable, as he had been a very great friend of his grandparents'. He sat down to a smattering of applause and even a few chuckles. Anyone who truly knew his grandparents would know that they wouldn't have wanted them to be solemn.
Cara stood and motioned to her dad who waved his want and muttered something James couldn't quite hear. All of a sudden, he could hear music. He glanced around for the source, but it couldn't be seen, it seemed to be coming from the trees, from the cold winter wind, from the sun, from all around. It was possibly the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He allowed it to wash over him, not really paying attention to the words Cara was singing, preferring to simply listen to her sweet voice and the wonderful music. The icy wind bit and froze; December had never been the best time to be outside for very long. James watched as Cara finished her song 'I'll keep a part of you', every note came from the depths of her heart and rang out, clear as a bell into the crisp, cold morning. He was amazed at how her voice continued to be so clear, when tears streamed down her face and threatened to freeze into small salty icicles. He hadn't been listening to the words, but afterwards there were a few lines that stuck in his memory, almost as though they were imprinted on his heart.
'As long as I live I'll keep a part of you inside my heart, then you'll never die and we'll never be apart.' That was the perfect sentiment, it was the perfect song.
Cara came and sat next to James after she finished singing and snuggled into his waiting arms. He held her tightly as huge sobs racked her frail little body; this was the first time she'd let herself go since the news. She needed to do it.
"Let it all out," he whispered to her, stroking her hair, "I'm here for you, let it out." He was so intent on comforting his sobbing little sister that he didn't notice his own eyes welling up, or the tears that rolled down his cheeks, mingling with Cara's.
Christmas arrived much to early for James' liking, he hated that his favourite time of the year had been ruined by some evil maniac. So it was with a heavy heart that he got onto the Hogwarts Express with Remus on the first day of the holidays. The others had decided to stay for Christmas, but Remus always had to go home when he could, his mother liked to keep an eye on him. James didn't blame her, if he had a child that was a werewolf, he'd keep an eye on him too. Remus was a very intelligent boy, and self- sufficient and he didn't really need protecting, but mothers will be mothers.
They sat together in an otherwise empty compartment, neither of them speaking very much. James wasn't really in the mood for conversation, but he also hated the silence, it was somehow deafening, so he broke it, "I've always hated funerals, they're so depressing." He would have liked to come up with a better topic, but his mind was a little one tracked at that time. He hadn't actually been to may funerals, and never to one for anyone he really cared about, but even at the couple for distant family members he didn't know he always came away depressed. "I think you're right James." That was all Remus had to say. That was something James really liked about Remus, he didn't speak unnecessarily, and he didn't seem to feel the need to fill a silence with needless chitchat. They travelled the rest of the way in silence.
His parents and Cara were at the train station to meet him. They smiled and waved him towards them, but their eyes betrayed them, they were dull and lifeless. James was reminded forcibly of the old muggle saying he'd once heard, 'the eyes are the window to the soul'. James was shocked at the huge change that had occurred in his family since the summer. They seemed gaunt and tired, his mother didn't fuss about the state of his hair and his father had lost the mischievous grin he always wore. They had both lost a lot of weight. But it was the change in Cara that distressed James the most. She seemed to have given up styling her hair, and her usually slight frame looked even smaller, like she'd shrunk, she looked like she'd fade away any second. When she ran into his arms he found she was lighter too, this couldn't be healthy.
Her personality hadn't changed much, she was still sweet, caring, generous and completely unselfish. He ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead like he always did, earning a small, weak smile. He returned it. He couldn't stand seeing her like this, she was only nine, and she shouldn't have to handle this sort of sadness. It would almost have been easier if she had dissolved into tears, but she hadn't. She was strong; her selfless nature prevented her from being weak. James hugged her hard, wishing there was something he could do to take away her pain.
The funeral was just the next day, his Nana's birthday. It hurt him to think about it. James family had all gathered in his grandparents' favourite park, under their favourite tree. They had met there, and it somehow seemed the best way to remember them. The service was beautiful, nothing at all like he'd remembered of the others he'd went to. James family did not believe in God, but they did believe that death wasn't necessarily the end, more the beginning of something new. Friends of his grandparents stood and told the group all about their memories of them as a young couple, glowing with the first realisation of true love. His father spoke about his memories of them, the meals, and the practical jokes. He heard the breath catch in his father's throat and James didn't think he'd be able to finish, but he did. James had been asked to speak, So legs wobbling and tears threatening to escape his eyes he stood and looked around a the group,
"I don't know if there are words to describe how much my Nana and Grandad meant to me. I can't find them. I love them very much, as I'm sure all of you do. I can almost see them now, laughing at us and the solemnity of this service. I'm sure Grandad would have considered turning someone's hair blue to lighten the mood. I'm sure that wherever they are, they're happy, they're together, and for them I'm sure they consider death to be merely the beginning of the next great adventure." He looked round at the gathering, feeling infinitely calmer than he had since he got the news about his grandparents. Professor Dumbledore caught his eye and nodded approvingly. James hadn't even realised he'd been invited, but it seemed only reasonable, as he had been a very great friend of his grandparents'. He sat down to a smattering of applause and even a few chuckles. Anyone who truly knew his grandparents would know that they wouldn't have wanted them to be solemn.
Cara stood and motioned to her dad who waved his want and muttered something James couldn't quite hear. All of a sudden, he could hear music. He glanced around for the source, but it couldn't be seen, it seemed to be coming from the trees, from the cold winter wind, from the sun, from all around. It was possibly the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He allowed it to wash over him, not really paying attention to the words Cara was singing, preferring to simply listen to her sweet voice and the wonderful music. The icy wind bit and froze; December had never been the best time to be outside for very long. James watched as Cara finished her song 'I'll keep a part of you', every note came from the depths of her heart and rang out, clear as a bell into the crisp, cold morning. He was amazed at how her voice continued to be so clear, when tears streamed down her face and threatened to freeze into small salty icicles. He hadn't been listening to the words, but afterwards there were a few lines that stuck in his memory, almost as though they were imprinted on his heart.
'As long as I live I'll keep a part of you inside my heart, then you'll never die and we'll never be apart.' That was the perfect sentiment, it was the perfect song.
Cara came and sat next to James after she finished singing and snuggled into his waiting arms. He held her tightly as huge sobs racked her frail little body; this was the first time she'd let herself go since the news. She needed to do it.
"Let it all out," he whispered to her, stroking her hair, "I'm here for you, let it out." He was so intent on comforting his sobbing little sister that he didn't notice his own eyes welling up, or the tears that rolled down his cheeks, mingling with Cara's.