Chapter 6: Vulnerable
Remy had really thought he was dead at first, when he opened his eyes to a bright and almost ethereal looking light, a very present and real pain upon his chest as well as his spine. However, it soon occurred to him that if he were dead – and he were looking into the light of the other side – then pain certainly wouldn't be persisting so strongly.
"Try and stay still, Remy…"
Remy's eyes came into focus, Moira MacTaggart was standing by him, he was on a bed, in a room he didn't recognise. "Where'm I?" He asked, his voice weak, his throat dry.
"The sick bay of the Research Centre," Moira was drawing liquid into a syringe, "don't try and talk right now, you should try and rest," she said, she sat on the side of the bed slowly, rolled up the sleeve of the Pyjama top he had just discovered himself wearing. "I'm going to give you this for the pain…" she stated.
Remy swallowed, his throat sore, his chest sore, "Where is she?…what…what happened to her…" he looked around, there was one other bed, but no sign of Chantal. Surely they must have pulled her out of the wreckage too…surely.
"Who?" Moira looked at Remy puzzled, her eyes on him with some concern.
"She…was the one…doin' it…" Remy took a deep breath, he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sting of the needle rather than the pain in his back. "She was…in there with me…she…the ceiling was caving in…"
"We didn't find anyone down there except from yourself," Moira pressed the needle deep into his arm, "you were dead for nearly three minutes, too," Moira said, "You're so lucky we found you when we did," she added, "those tunnels have been under there since the first world war, we would have never imagined they were being used to rob us!" she explained, "But…you needn't concern yourself with that now."
"Why'd I hurt?" Remy asked, the last minutes of his being down in the tunnels seemed so foggy, he couldn't imagine why he was so sore.
"Ah, one of the support beams apparently fell on your back," Moira replied, "as far as we can see, nothing is broken. Your chest will probably be hurting for a while yet, Sean and I had to resuscitate you, and it took some beating on your chest to get your heart working again. You've slept for two days – but you seem to be on the mend now."
Remy tried to shut the pain out of his mind, the effects of whatever drug Moira had injected into him now taking over his senses, everything seemed to be growing slightly hazy, and he began to feel slightly sleepy again.
"At least – as far as we can tell – there isn't any brain damage, and you didn't receive a single burn either," Moira answered, "You're very lucky to be alive."
Remy agreed, "yeah…lucky," he coughed. He felt less than lucky, but realised how incredibly ungrateful this was, considering the trouble Moira had probably gone to taking care of him, and after all, his prayers to God had obviously been heard, for he had lived.
"Since the tunnels caved in down there, its safe to say that there will be no more thieves sneaking in and stealing chemicals…just to be sure, we're having the entrance completely concreted over as soon as possible," Moira explained, she tucked her dark brown hair behind her ears, "and you, Remy, will be able to go back to Bayville," she said firmly, "Something I think you'll be glad of, after three months spent securing this place."
Remy gave a vague nod, although it hurt to do so, he winced, "does…Xavier know?"
"Yes, in fact, Professor Xavier and Dr McCoy are flying over here this very moment. They'll be moving you to Bayville once you're well enough," Moira explained.
Remy looked away, "And Rogue?" he asked. He thought it might be possible that Rogue had more than likely heard by now, and would be rushing over to see him as well as Professor Xavier and Hank.
"I…have no information what so ever on Rogue, I'm sorry," Moira checked Remy's pulse, glancing towards her watch.
He felt a great wave of disappointment sweep over him, he'd have thought she would have been coming to him, he had wanted her there.
"You should try and get some sleep," Moira said, "you've certainly earned it," she added.
Remy looked at her, "it was my sister…" he whispered in pain, he gave a weak cough. "My sister was the one stealing the chemicals," he tried to collect his thoughts about the incident, everything seemed to be drifting further away in his mind, he was having trouble focusing on the details.
"Your sister?" Moira seemed surprised, "Remy, perhaps you're just hallucinating…the drugs I've just injected, they can cause such things even in such a moderate dose, and you have been under a great deal of stress…"
"No…t'was my sister…" Remy swallowed, "Chantal…Chantal LeBeau…" he said, his voice almost dreamy, "She…she was down there…she…"
"If she was down there, Remy, then I'm afraid she must have been killed…" Moira looked away, "the wreckage was so bad, we barely got you out of there before the rest of the structure collapsed," she added softly.
Remy felt his eyes water a little, he looked away, staring into space, sadness building up inside of himself. For the second time in his life, he'd lost his sister, before he'd ever really had much chance to know her. He'd felt he could have reached her, after all, he'd almost gone through something she had – they could have shared that bond.
"Miss MacTaggart, I've just received notice that an aircraft is heading this way, and should be here in roughly five minutes…"
Remy and Moira both turned, Carmel was standing near the door, dressed in a pair of black flared pants, and a blue blouse, a long white lab coat over it. Her hair tied back in a ponytail.
"Oh, thank you, Carmel."
"Oh, he's awake…" Carmel looked at Remy, her eyes light up.
"I need to go make arrangements for Professor Xavier and Dr McCoy's arrival," Moira said, "keep your visit short, Carmel. The man needs his rest," Moira got up quickly, and rushed off out of the door.
Remy gave a deep sigh, and looked at Carmel. He remembered everything about the night he'd spent with Carmel, and realised he'd better talk to her about it – before she brought it up – and straighten out that he wasn't really interested in her as he'd thought he'd been. That his heart lay in someone elses hands still, and that he really wasn't ready to move on.
"So…you're not really a research assistant after all then," Carmel folded her arms almost apprehensively.
"Not really," Remy said, a small cough escaped his dry, chapped lips.
"Are you really one of the X-Men?" Carmel asked, her voice very quiet as if she were afraid someone might hear. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed next to the bed in which Remy was lying.
"Oui," Remy replied, "Have been for some time."
"Why didn't you just tell us?" Carmel asked, "I mean, Christ, Remy, why all the secrecy?"
Remy gave a deep sigh, "Had to be undercover…it's hard to explain…" he said.
Carmel looked at him, "I've…been really worried about you," she admitted, then looked down to the floor, her cheeks flushed a little. "Heard you died for three whole minutes," she added.
Remy looked at her, "c'mere…" he reached out his hand weakly to her.
Carmel got up, taking his hand, she sat down on the bed beside him, "Remy…I think I'm in lo—"
"Ssh," Remy stated, "I…I don't want to hurt you," he sighed, "Lately, its all I seem to really do to girls who seem to come in contact with me, its not deliberate, it just happens," he gave another cough, "You're beautiful, and exciting, and fun, and smart," he said, "But…another girl…is the one holding my heart…" he said.
Carmel looked at him, she looked like she might cry, "the…one you spoke about?"
"Oui," Remy nodded, pain in his back when he moved reminded him he shouldn't try to move at all. "You…caught me at a very vulnerable time…I've recently…been through a lot," he swallowed, and took a deep breath before continuing, "I got a girl pregnant…and the baby…she was stillborn…" he looked away, his eyes tearing up again, "And then Rogue…my beautiful…my perfect Marie…she was raped…" he swallowed, "I blamed myself…and…that's why I was here…to stop MutantX…"
"I heard rumours that MutantX was being made from the chemicals that were being stolen from here…" Carmel admitted.
Remy gave a nod, he closed his eyes, "Me and Rogue…had an argument and I sent her away…drove her away…and every day since been blamin' myself…" he whispered, "and with all the disaster been going on in my life, piling up on top of me, I was vulnerable…that's why…I mean, that's why I—"
"That's why you slept with me…" Carmel looked away, hurt.
"I did not mean to hurt you, and if I had known that you had any real feelings for me other than lust…I would not have ever…" he gripped her hand as tightly as he could in his weakened state. "I would never have did what I did…" he said, "I was hurting, and I was trying to make it go away…I was trying to move on, like you said…only I can't move on," he sighed, "she's still there, in my head…"
Carmel sighed and got up, "I understand…" she trailed off, "My fault, really, for making a move on you when I knew you were still pining for your ex."
Remy looked at her, "It was my fault…for allowing myself to use you that way," he sighed, "And I hope you will forgive me, and realise I was not trying to hurt you…" he said softly.
Carmel gave a shrug, "I…don't know…" she sighed.
"Carmel, I like you a lot, I can be your friend…but…I can't love you…not while I love Rogue…"
Carmel sighed, "I…I'm sorry, Remy, I really can't forgive you…" she looked away, still hurt, she looked like she might cry, "I should go, I have work to do."
Remy nodded, and he didn't say anything, he watched her go. The fatigue was growing heavier upon him, as was his guilt. Now he'd hurt someone else, not just Rogue, but Carmel. How would Rogue take this when she found out about what he had done?
Did he have to tell her?
He closed his eyes, and began to drift slowly into an uneasy sleep, without having a chance to answer himself.
- The End (Or is it????)