Last time: Phoebe chose Edmund as her first target.
Phoebe's eyes lit up with renewed purpose as she spied Bianca Montgomery sitting alone in the Valley Inn lobby. It wasn't what she had planned, but the opportunity was too good to pass up.
Like Edmund, Bianca failed to notice as Phoebe approached. She was too busy gazing with wide, glistening cow eyes at a photo in her hands. Phoebe halted her chair, peered over, and saw that it was, not surprisingly, a picture of Maggie. She shook her head in annoyance; what an incredible idiot this girl was.
She impatiently waited several seconds. Then, when Bianca still didn't register her presence, Phoebe harrumphed beside her, attracting her attention. Bianca quickly palmed the photo and tried to look innocent as she turned around. "Hello, Mrs. Wallingford, how are--"
THWACK! Bianca never got to finish her question, since Phoebe reached over and whacked her on the head.
"Hey!" Bianca cried. "Why did you hit me?"
"Because you're a self-righteous, sister-hating, know-it-all twit who somehow became an invaluable cosmetics executive during your first day of work and has clearly let the experience go to her head." Phoebe indicated the photo in Bianca's hand, which had fallen open with the shock of the thwacking. "You're also a namby-pamby, wishy-washy fool. Either jump that girl or stop seeing her entirely. Otherwise, you're both just a boring waste of space."
Phoebe moved abruptly and Bianca flinched, expecting to be on the receiving end of another smack. True, the first blow hadn't actually hurt beyond a brief, mild stinging, but the experience had been extremely humiliating and Bianca had no wish to repeat it.
However, Phoebe was done with her, at least for the time being. She smoothly directed her wheelchair away, disappearing from sight as Bianca sat in stunned silence and tried to will the fierce blush on her cheeks to die down. What in the world had gotten into Mrs. Wallingford? she wondered.
What HAS gotten into Phoebe? Who will she thwack next? Kendall? Adam? Maria? Chris? Mia? It partially depends on who annoys me the most in any given episode, but I realize I can't target J.R. every time, so pretty much all the characters will get theirs sooner or later. Exceptions: Palmer is immune from thwackage because I can't bear to do it to him even in a story, and so are Petey, Sam, and Maddie because 1) they're too young and 2) they're far less irritating than most of the adults anyway.