Disclaimer: As always, Harry Potter is not mine, I'm writing a fan fic because I love the series and can't wait for the next one so am making up stuff in the mean time. JK Rowling is the true owner, I am making no money, so please don't sue me... ^_^

Author's Note: Okay I know this gets stranger and stranger but keep listening to my story it gets better... I can't wait to post chapter 15, that will really space you out lol, don't even get me started on 16, all I say is watch out. Everything is meant to confuse you.

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If you can't comprehend it how will you know when you've reached it?

Elysium

When he apparated in his place among the Death Eaters attention was immediately drawn to him. Voldemort was standing out of his chair, the chair Severus had come to believe Voldemort was glued to, whenever he had joined the Death Eaters Voldemort remained seated like a king but now he was angry, his wand poised at the very spot Severus had appeared in. Snape didn't like the expression on the old snake's face, if you could call that a face.

"Snape..." He hissed. "Step forward!" He snapped. Severus cringed as he heard his name mentioned he didn't enjoy his dealings with the Dark Lord... he was beginning to think that Voldemort was becoming increasingly aware of his disposition.

"My Lord?" Severus was worried now, Voldemort pointed his wand at him and a twisted look crawled onto his reptilian features. He knew he should have fallen to his knees but he didn't want to, his knees in their weakening state refused to buckle.

"You nearly ruined my plan - the plan that took me years to put into action, can you explain yourself?" He hummed; Severus didn't know what to say he didn't know he'd done anything wrong. Saving his own neck didn't include ruining a plan to him, it meant seeing all of his into summation, he had no guilt about the whole situation but the way Voldemort was acting made him think he should.

"I... What did I do?" He asked stepping back a little, was this it? It was cowardly but death frightened him, the one thing in life that did. He starred at the wand tip and began to think about dying like a man, he couldn't scream or beg, if he was going to go he had to go like a man, someone with a spine. Not a rodent without vertebrae, or even a snake... that never struck him as a good way to go.

"Crucio!" Voldemort roared the room became filled with his howls of pain as the curse began to take over. He wasn't dead but it felt like he was going to be soon. Severus didn't feel the pain anymore though... the lung full of water and the breath taking feeling became too much, he passed out... Everything was gone all he could see were flashes of the resent events, as if they were a dream within a dream. It was hollow and yet so blissful and complete, shots of things he had nearly done, yet his mind was filling in the gaps... the incident at the Yule ball... the full scene open to him, it was the strangest behaviour he had ever displayed, and Raine. She was being... nice, she must be ill or... "Why is he not screaming?" Voldemort asked the circle of Death Eaters as they looked upon the still form of Severus Snape. His face to the rotting carpet he could see everything more clearly than they had ever been, he didn't want to wake up.

"I believe he's passed out my Lord," Lucius Malfoy offered seeing Snape lie still on the ground. His black hood loomed over his pale face like a shadow, his silver eyes burned beneath the darkness producing light like that of the moon.

"Weakling!" Voldemort spat looking to Snape. "Matrix!" He bellowed pointing his wand at the Dark Mark on Severus' arm that lay at a funny angle from his body the sleeve torn. A dark tall figure apparated in another empty space among the Death Eaters before throwing up on the floor doubled over and generally looking sick as an under trained sailor.

"... My.... Lor...d." The man mumbled between throwing up he had a strange aroma about him, it was like pond water and alcohol, he also had the slight smell of formaldehyde around him, the Death Eaters on his left and right leaned away from him, the smell was repulsive even by their standards though it didn't seem to bother Voldemort.

"To your knees you worthless maggot!" Voldemort hissed most unimpressed by the newcomer's entrance.

"No..." The man was clearly drunk and his black robes were sodden, he mumbled his response through thin lips and lazy eyes eyeballed Voldemort with contempt.

"To your knees I said," Voldemort whispered softly his eyes flashing violent blood red.

"..." Matrix considered a response but chose silence and threw up again his face glistened with beads of sweat that dripped down his pale features and trickled off his perfect nose.

"Now!" Voldemort roared. "Stupify!" Matrix hit the floor like a sack of spuds. "That little witch is smarter than I thought. Do you take me for a fool!" Voldemort yelled at the fallen man who was lying in his own mess attempting to lift himself to his feet, this man was proud and didn't like o below anyone, that was definitely clear yet Voldemort would make a fool of this man for he was not above the Master of evil. "You informed me she could be controlled captured but no!" Voldemort hissed. "She is the object of your desires and thus is what you wish her to be in your head, one small problem with your plan. She isn't what you told me she was!" Matrix grumbled on the ground even though he was supposed to be knocked out he was more stunned and dazed than unconscious.

"What is to be done about the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor Master? Should I kill her?" Lucius asked trying to appease the Dark Lord. Voldemort turned to him and snarled.

"She is to remain unharmed, she has a great task ahead of her, something that our future depends upon. Any of you harm her and I'll torture and kill you very slowly. She carries the heir, my heir," he hummed with a little pleasure. "Is that understood?" There were nods from all of the Death Eaters the man on the floor let out a groan of disapproval, Voldemort kicked him in the face sending him writhing on his back.

"But what is to be done about her Master?" One of the Death Eaters asked he seemed anxious, this was troubling his master, what was to be done?

"We shall wait," he said simply. "Professor Snape on the other hand shall remain here until he has proven himself worthy, I can't have him harm my creation at such an early stage," Voldemort flashed an evil smile. "He has no idea as yet... I can't wait to see his face. It's going to make my year..." He hummed.

"And Matrix?" Lucius asked looking at the dark figure rolling about on his back like a tortoise unable to flip itself over.

"When he is sober I will teach him a lesson he will never forget," Voldemort said coldly glancing at the coward his red eyes turning to what looked like fire upon contact with the groaning figure that howled into the night.

::~::~::~::~::~::

As the days started to pass everyone at Hogwarts became extremely tense, Dumbledore began to punish himself for having been foolish, he believed that Severus was gone for good - that he was dead but then no one had seen him. The weeks drew on and still no sign. January passed, Raine couldn't believe that she was actually missing him, his absence caused her to question herself a lot though she was positive he was still alive... but she wasn't sure why. The other members of staff seemed mournful, as if he had really left them for good as if he would never be there to make snide comments and mock them ever again. Dumbledore seemed very tired and sad, more so than usual...

Raine began to notice the effects of pregnancy more after four months, a tiny bulge appeared and in order to cover it up she had to walk around in loose fitting clothes and slump over slightly as she walked as if she had a bad back, concealment charms hadn't occurred to her and she didn't think they would work on something this... difficult, to hide.

She missed him, she was beginning to let go, but she some how knew, some how she had to made herself believe he was still alive. Her mind didn't like to believe it was form a dependence upon the fact he was alive, it was as if she was attracted to him, but she didn't want to admit it. It was foolish and weak in her opinion to allow herself to fall for anyone and if she wasn't mistaken she had fallen like a lead stone in water for this cruel and sinister man, someone who she knew she could never whole heartedly trust. She wanted to cut the weak little woman from her mind and begin thinking like a man, they were ruled by their heads, well most of the time... no that wasn't right. She just wanted to return to herself only she was falling for the father of the child within her even though he had no idea and she didn't want it. He couldn't be dead... there was no way, but how foolish did she sound? The child was messing with her head, was this normal?

::~::~::~::~::~::

Severus lie in he Riddle House, huddled on the ground, Voldemort had watched him like a hawk for three months and when the Dark Lord had grown tired of cursing him he had another Death eater watch him, it was debilitating. As if he was a child incapable of looking after himself and always misbehaving needed constant correction, he was a Professor not a criminal... or at least he knew that, Voldemort apparently had no idea.

"I believe that you have proved your true colours to Dumbledore now," Voldemort hissed looking down at Snape coldly. "What will your excuse be to get out of this little vacation?"

"I will lie," Snape muttered knowing Voldemort didn't want to hear a weak willed response, not one that had given up. Severus knew Voldemort needed to be confident he wasn't going to squeal or crumble even though that was what he was going to do, he however was able to keep his dignity.

"Very good Severus, you'll make a good Death Eater yet," Voldemort took his seat again, lowering himself slowly into the seat.


"My Lord," he said mindlessly - it was so easy to agree, to smile like a snake and nod like a puppet. He wondered if he really was becoming one of them again, it was easier than being two faced in a matter of speaking. He knew what was right but all the acting was making him unsure of who's side he was really on at what point, he was afraid of giving the wrong answer to either Voldemort or Dumbledore, if he got either wrong it was life with no soul or death.

"You may return to your precious school now, however if I hear you breathe a word of this to Dumbledore or anyone, I'll make you wish you were dead," Severus nodded staggered to his feet and hobbled out of the room. He was free... back to Hogwarts, he had to see Dumbledore, and he had to see Raine again... Where did they think he had gone? What if they thought he had turned to the Dark side? Dumbledore was very trusting but would he believe what had happened over those three months?

::~::~::~::~::~::

"Find her Lucius... bring her to me, I want a word with our enchanting young mother-to-be, she'll not be easy to remove from Hogwarts. But I trust that you will be able to cope, she is a woman after all and shouldn't be too hard to catch," Lucius smile sadistically at his Master's plan. "You're not to touch her, you understand me?"

"But how am I to catch her otherwise?" Lucius asked perplexed.

"Untouched in a different sense my virile young friend, I think you know in what sense I am speaking," Lucius nodded silently and left the room, Matrix stepped forward apparently sober this time.

"I believe it would be best if I accompanied him, to make sure nothing happens," he said in an oily tone.

"Send you to defend her honour? Don't make me laugh... Though I don't think you would do anything to her with Malfoy present. He does what I tell him which is more than I can say for you," Matrix nodded and slipped out of the room like a spirit. Voldemort stared after him. "Don't fail me..." He said to the room as if the walls were listening to his plan.

::~::~::~::~::~::

In his weak state Severus wasn't feeling too confident about disapparating, what if he did it wrong, what if he ended up in several different places because he couldn't control his atoms? He had to try, he couldn't stay here another minute, he concentrated all his energy on where he wanted to be and ended up out by the cliffs near Hogsmeade, it wasn't exactly where he had planned but it was close enough.

The wind wiped his hair out behind him and for the first time in months fresh air hit his face, he'd missed it, evening air and the sunset, it was beautiful and he hadn't really appreciated it until he had missed it for so long. He watched the sun disappear and the night sky settle over head while the moonlight lit the landscape. When he was ready he headed back into Hogsmeade and back down the secret passageway to the Hogwarts dungeons, the dark cold passageway seemed more welcoming than it ever had before, the school was warmth in itself it didn't matter how cold March had become in the corridors.

In the tunnel he could hear voices of students over head walking alone the desolate passageway, what were they doing along there? He had to get out of this tunnel at some point. He listened to them briefly, wondering what could be keeping them down there. It sounded like two students and the seemed to be awfully close to one another - he could sense the energy between them, he'd become sensitive to a lot of things over those three months, it was as if he could see aura's about people. It was strange, a very primitive way of seeing good and bad within people, Voldemort's was constantly vibrant red, the Death Eaters were more of a brown, he couldn't see his own though he didn't really wish to know. He had only been able to do that when half blind through being cursed, but when he could see straight he could feel auras more strongly than before not distinguish their true mental alliance but feel the amount of power they possessed, Dumbledore was one person that had always been very clear around and he imagined seeing him again would be like walking into a room and being it by a tremor under foot.

"Do you suppose Snape is dead?" He heard one of the two say rather casually, as if he was that bad... he knew he was seen an old tyrant but he wasn't really that way, he didn't mean to come off that way it just happened, well okay granted he did mean to be cruel and nasty but that was his personality, not a personal dig at any character he came across, unless you were that no good celebrity Harry Potter who was just asking for trouble. That comment however wounded him in a way that he had never thought possible, people actually wouldn't miss him, his brain had to register that for a while before it confirmed he already knew that fact.

"Don't talk about it like that Ron! This is serious, besides I don't think even he deserved death, aside from what he was like as a person and his appalling people skills he was a good teacher," Hermione said, Severus then knew who was wandering the dungeons, Granger's voice was very distinct, it had the I know everything hint to it, it made sense, they were the only ones who would roam the school this late. "You got me sounding like he's dead as well... I don't think he is for some reason," she added, he could hear them more clearly than before, they were close, just above the one eyed witch if his ears were clearer than his eyes.

"Well lets get this trip to Hogsmeade short we're not supposed to be up let alone wandering off around the cliffs," Ron muttered, he pressed the catch to open the secret passage. Hermione lowered herself into the passageway and he followed her. Severus was fuming, didn't they realise how dangerous it was? He stood in the shadows and threw an icy stare to where they were standing. Hermione looked about frantically sensing something amiss.

"I don't like this Ron, there's something down here..." She said clutching his robes.

"Don't be silly, anyway I'm here, I'll protect you from..." Snape stepped out of the shadows looking extremely annoyed and tired, his face was a little red from the blood he lost over those months, his hair was extremely greasy from not having a bath and even he knew he smelt like a rubbish dump.

"From what Weasley? An over grown bat perchance?" He snarled, Hermione looked at him fearfully, Ron began to back away. "Dead am I?" He said stepping closer to them. Hermione screwed up her face, the smell had reached her, it was terrible. "Would you care to accompany me to see Professor Dumbledore?" He said dangerously. "Well I lied, you're going to accompany me no matter what you want, turn around and head out of the tunnel, there is no room in this school for rule breakers, if you did actually made your way out, there are more dangers than me lurking in the caves, you should know what I mean!" He snapped as he marched the two sixteen year olds up to the Headmaster's office, he'd missed that - getting in the way made life a little more interesting.

"Cheesy Crackers!" He shouted, the gargoyle opened the door and he led them to the top of the revolving staircase before bursting into Dumbledore's office unannounced, the old wizard looked up from is papers with a small smile, he was actually happy to see Snape even if anyone else he had encountered really did wish he was dead.

"Where have you been Severus?" Was the first thing Dumbledore asked.

"I caught these two trying to sneak into Hogsmeade," he said pointing to Ron and Hermione, they were both holding their noses.

"Then they will both receive detention," he said sadly, he then addressed them directly. "It is very dangerous out there, your lucky Professor Snape caught you, I'm sure you can see by the look of him what lurks out there," they both nodded. "You'll receive your detention slips at breakfast... If you do this ever again you'll be dealt with more severely." He pointed to the door and they left quickly not wanting to remain in the area around Severus.

"I'm sorry..." Severus said knowing that Dumbledore had worried about him or at least he suspected Dumbledore had worried about him judging his response to their entrance.

"Where have you been?" He asked looking down the wreck that stood before him.

"I was held captive in the Riddle House, I was cursed and... Voldemort seems to think I nearly ruined his plan... I don't even know what I did," Dumbledore now knew exactly what Snape had done even though Severus was oblivious to it. He said running his fingers through his greasy black hair, he cringed at the feeling of the slime. "I've got to have a shower, this is disgusting," Dumbledore smiled, Severus had begun to gain a little more self-respect and even though Voldemort was clearly trying to knock it out of him again it wasn't affecting his need to feel slightly more presentable as a teacher.

"Tell me what happened later. I think you need some rest," Dumbledore said softly looking at the tiny cut below Snape's eye, he must have been subjected to some of the worst curses. Snape nodded and walked out of the large circular office. Heading to his chamber filling a bath full of hot soapy water and submerging himself in the suds, he had to get the smell off him, it was horrible, three months of dirt and grime, he knew he normally looked unwashed but he'd never felt so rough. He washed his hair three times to get the grease out and must have scrubbed himself five times or more all over to get the blood and dirt off his skin. When he dragged himself out of the water he noticed the water was a disgusting colour, without thinking he walked into the shower and washed again, dirty, so dirty... Anything to get rid of the feeling he'd been invaded, it was almost as bad as the morning after he'd lost six hours but that was coming back. He didn't know what had happened when he was beyond thinking...

When he had finished in the shower he dried himself, then his hair using his wand, his hair looked shiny and healthy for once his skin didn't look as bad as it usually did and he threw on some clean robes before curling up in his chair. Now he was really clean, there was no denying that, he felt like a small boy again after a bath, curled up in his chair, he half expected his mother to throw a towel at him playfully and tell him to dry his hair before he caught a cold, one thing with that however was that he had dried his hair and his mother was dead. It kind of comforted him to think of that though, his mother was a lovely woman and honest... he would never be anything like her, his father however was someone he had the characteristics of... cold and unable to connect with people.

::~::~::~::~::~::

The next thought that crossed his head was Raine, he hadn't seen her yet, he didn't think she'd really be all that bothered about him but then he wanted to see her. He left his chambers before heading to her office, he tapped on the door to hear a muffled sound which was something like, 'come in' but very muffled so he couldn't quite hear it. He stuck his head round the door to see her eating a strange looking... sandwich. It looked like and inch of filling between two doorsteps of bread and she had a plate full of these. She had a tiny pair of glasses sitting on the end of her nose as she glimpsed through a book.

"Hello Raine..." He said getting a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, her hair was tied back again and she had a mouth full of sandwich with part of the bit she was eating in one hand with a goblet in the other, she hadn't even bothered to acknowledge he was there. "Raine?" He said slowly, what the hell was in those sandwiches? They looked... it was indescribeable, disgusting in a way.

"Severus?!" She exclaimed through her sandwich, well she reacted at least which was. more than he could say for Sinistra who had walked past him in the corridor and didn't even know who he was.

"What are you eating?" He said looking to the dish, Raine however had her mouth open a little in shock as she looked at him, he looked good. It was like she was playing 'see food' it didn't even bare thinking about, she realised what she was doing and closed her mouth.

"Banana, ham and cold beans," she said cringing. "They're disgusting but oddly satisfying," she murmured taking another bite. She was trying to keep her mind off his body, but he looked good.

"Could I have one?" He asked as she motioned him to sit down. "I haven't eaten in two days," he said looking at the disgustingly filled sandwiches.

"But they taste foul," she said taking another hungry bite. "You won't like them, I would offer you something else but I can't be arsed."

"I don't care, I'm starving," he said.

"Very well, but they're really.... ewww," she said shaking her head and taking another mouthful from her goblet. "I like what you've done to your hair by the way... the clean look suits you," she said continuing to browse the book distractedly, she hadn't just said that? Oh god... He took a sandwich and took a huge bite. It really was foul. Raine sighed as she looked at him, he hadn't appeared to have taken any notice of what she was saying.

"How can you eat this?" He said looking at the bread and swallowing hard on the mouthful.

"I warned you," she said looking at him as he took another bite. "I thought they were disgusting?" If he didn't like them why was he eating another bite? She seemed to have developed a craving for them as well as marmite, it was disgusting but she had to have it. She now thought she was developing another strange desire through this pregnancy, why was she eyeing him up like he was next on the list of things to 'do'...?

"They are, but they're the best thing I've tasted in three months," he said with his mouth full. "They're oddly satisfying like you said. I like them at the minute but I can guarantee I'll regret eating them later."

"I know... I can't get enough of them!" She muttered, taking another gulp. "How rude of me..." She said making another goblet appear. Oh god she was flirting, stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

"Thank you..." He said gulping down the liquid.

"So where have you been?" She asked attentively. You're doing it again...

"You don't want to know," he said sinking back into the chair.

"No seriously, where have you been, Albus has been out if his mind with worry, we all thought that Voldemort had killed you," she said, she knew about Voldemort... that he was a spy, Dumbledore must have told her. She seemed to have developed a new kind of respect for him even if it was offering him the most disgusting combination for sandwich filler he had ever heard anyone come up with.

"You know about my being a spy?" He asked, she smiled.

"Of course, very brave of you I must say," she said, though deep down she wanted to throttle herself for lying, she didn't really believe spying to be that difficult a task, interacting with the tyrant was difficult, that was why she respected him. She didn't like the way she was behaving either, she felt like she was flirting and being far too nice, it made her nauseous and those sandwiches, why did she crave them, they really were awful. You're becoming weak, you need to take control again... She would instruct herself.

"I'm not brave, I'm a coward, that's why I was stuck there for three months. I was cursed I don't know how many times a day. I was getting in the way of his plan... I was informed that I wasn't to interfere with his master plan," Raine went white, he didn't know did he? "I was cursed for it, he kept muttering about the early stages and that I was harming it. I have no idea what he was saying," he said looking at her, his eyes glittered strangely. She felt a little less tense when he had basically told her he didn't know...

"So you were punished for something you didn't even know you had done?" She said her expression sad and full of pity, she was also relieved, he had no idea.

"Not a clue, I was just doing what Dumbledore asked and I ended up being informed that I had done some terrible and needed punishment... I felt like a child, the way they inflicted the pain upon me, as if I wasn't alive, as if I were dead. I couldn't even go to the toilet without someone watching..." He felt dirty again, Raine was listening closely to what he was saying. He started to shake, his eyes were glittering sadly as he continued to tell her of the torture, he didn't know why he was telling her but everything was coming out. She seemed to have a way of making people inadvertently trust her without meaning to, it was creepy. "I didn't eat very often or drink, I guess that's why this is so delicious right now," he said allowing a small smile taking another bite of the rather odd sandwich. "I'm weaker than I was mentally, it tends to break you after a while if you know what I mean... Not that you would, your inner strength is better than mine, but, you can appreciate the idea can't you?" He asked.

"I have experienced things that break you mentally straight away, you've just got to pick yourself up tell yourself that you can't stay down, it helps... I'm not what I once was, I used to be happy and full of hope. Then I met Quentus and he told me about the world, I discovered the full horror of life... and death... that has to be the hardest," she looked at her sandwich again before placing it on the dish and taking a gulp of pumpkin juice.

"Death... I had to deal with that at a young age really, but then my parents were selfish arse holes with no staying power," he joked trying to get her to smile again, she frowned at him, poor comedy, where's your tact? His inner voice said coldly, he blushed.

"So you don't know why you were kept there that long, other than for doing something to a master plan you know nothing about?" She appeared to be taking note of everything he said and had subtly moved the subject from death, she stared at him sharply like it was extremely important, she appeared to be doing an impression of Dumbledore though Dumbledore often used the pensive to extract information like a roll of film..

"I couldn't tell you... I was unconscious most of the time," there was a burning on his arm again, it was even worse than the time before, he couldn't control himself, his arm began to go into spasm, before he slid to the floor going into convulsions. He couldn't scream - make a sound, everything was terrible, it was harsh, the pain caused him to slip in and out of consciousness, his mind began to fog over and he couldn't fight it.

"Severus?" Raine looked over the desk, he was on the floor, shaking like she had never seen, it was horrible. It was like he had no control, as if he were being possessed, she scrambled over the desk knocking everything in her path to the floor. What was wrong with him, he appeared to be looking at his arm and whacking it to the floor. before struggling on the floor with himself, she grabbed his upper arms and tried to hold him down. He was thrashing about under her like crazy, she couldn't keep his upper body still and the more she tried the more she could see him suffer. His pain seemed to come more when he was trying to remain still and she looked to his face as he began to stop fighting it, it was more pallid than before and his eyes started to roll back into his head. She panicked... what was happening? She pressed her hands to his forehead, this was illegal, she knew that but she couldn't allow this to continue, the pain was too much for him. There was a charm she knew but whether to use it or not was a case for her conscience. It was either that or watch him suffer, he stopped struggling and led still briefly before moving his arm shortly and making feeble movements.

"Empathis Abso!" She muttered feeling something strange move up her fingers into her left forearm, the pain was incredible, she had to think fast before it killed her, a wand she needed a wand. She stumbled to the door where she crumbled to the floor wondering why she hadn't been a little less panicky and why she hadn't used her brain she may have remembered something without harming herself... what an idiot... Quentus had been right.

She felt herself letting go, it was wonderful, she could tell her eyes were rolling back and her body ceasing through the pain. She felt her head hit the floor as she looked up at the ceiling peacefully, before snapping a little into life again. She could tell she was shaking and tried to stop herself, she managed to an extent and found herself wandering blindly to Severus and reaching in his pockets for his wand. He was warm at least, she was led against him her hands in his deep pockets had she been in a normal state she would have killed herself for her actions but she needed a wand. She found it, turned the tip on herself and screamed: "Masartis'crum aldratis'l Vladisass!" She was blasted against the wall by a jet of aqua light and knocked her head on the door handle, the last thing she told herself was, Idiot! How could you forget about the correct procedures? What's wrong with you, you've broken the law on a whim - again...

"What's going on?" Severus asked sitting up. "I can't see, what's happened, what's going on, where am I?" His focus was hazy as inner images were clearer than the blur around the edges. "Raine?" He could just make out her figure by the door, it was slumped on the floor... his wand was by her feet. He rubbed his eyes to bring back the focus a little quicker. It was working, he could see her, she looked pale but she was breathing which was a relief. He looked at her left arm, in her hand that lay limp palm upwards on the floor was covered in blood, he looked at his own arm and noticed the same, but why would that happen to her. He picked up his wand. "Enervate," he said softly, she woke up and looked down at herself.

"Damn, I'm an idiot..." She murmured looking him in the eyes. "You're up I see, what were you doing?" She asked trying to lift herself from the floor but failing. Maybe if she acted normally he wouldn't question how she had got his wand.

"Oh yes, well I... Never mind. Do you want some help?" He said seeing her land on her backside again on the floor. He was crouched before her as he placed his wand back into his pocket.

"I can do it myself," she insisted, stubborn, if she got close to him or he helped her might find out... she couldn't allow that. She looked at him as he got to his feet easily. She then did the same before her legs moved without her approval and she tumbled into him, she placed her hands on his shoulders to make herself stand properly again when he looked longingly down at her, she looked back, it was the eyes again.

He stared into her eyes, the about her whole expression, her eyes were sad her face showing that she wasn't quite as strong as she would normally seem and everything a little more lethargic. She pressed her hands to his chest coming a little closer to him than she planned, her nose brushed his chin as she looked up to his eyes again. She hadn't meant for to make contact, was she blind or just forgetful? - it was the damn pregnancy!

"We'd better go see Dumbledore," he said taking her left arm, cupping it in his hands. He rubbed her arm and she felt a little funny under his touch.

"I..." She was at a loss for words, she didn't know how to respond to the contact, she was falling... descending, going... Down...! Idiot... her inner voice spat, it was part of her former self that remained in control trying to get grip on her again, she was... she didn't want to think about it. "Yes..." She looked into his eyes again, thought about saying something else, her mouth poised to speak but she didn't want to say anything. "Dumbledore... got to see Dumbledore, this isn't right," she started to walk off, he stood still and watched her. What was wrong with her? She was so close yet so far... nothing new there.

"Are you coming?" She snapped, get those thoughts out of your head, stop it! What's taking him so long? He knows!

"Yes... Sorry. Just thinking, why would you get the blood as well if you were only doing the Absorption charm?" He stopped. "Isn't that illegal?!" He said shocked and outraged.

The problem the ministry had with the spell was it not only allowed you to take pain of another but it allowed you to pass on emotions or rob another of them, make other people do your bidding without them able to detect what you'd done or anyone else for that matter. It was a way of forming a mind meld with someone and usually the person performing the charm would act like the person who they melded with but she didn't appear to display that... he wondered why.

"It was that or watch you die," she yelled continuing to walk off, he stumbled along behind her. "If I had the choice again I would do it again, I don't want a dead body in my office... I have to work there! The idea someone snuffed it in there can be really off putting when you're trying to mark papers on the undead," she tried to make light of the situation.

"Always jokes with you!" He stammered slightly annoyed with her response.

"No, I'm being selfish Severus, I do not wish to see you convulse and turn blue, it's bad enough with those sandwiches let alone have you make me sick as well," he sneered, she narrowed her eyes and strode off.

"Thank you..." He whispered, though she hadn't heard him or seem him, she was moving too quickly away to notice but he meant it, he just didn't want to tell her. Perhaps she was a lot like him anyway... or maybe she hadn't done the spell right... His mind fizzed briefly with a strong urge to eat those sandwiches again... that was odd...

::~::~::~::

Author's Note: I hope you liked this, what do you think is going on there hey? Well? I knew you wouldn't have a clue... poor Snape. And well, please review, I feel neglected when no one reviews, and then I cry and loose my will to write. Sad but true... sad but true.

I.C. Fire

silver_shadow54@hotmail.com