Author's Notes: Nine more days 'til school starts! Gah! Actually, I've written quite a few more chapters, but I'm putting them up real slow-like and triple checking all of them for canon errors. Nonetheless, I'm sure quite a few of them have canon errors.
On a lighter note…monkey! ^_^
Thanks to those of you who have written amazing little songs, whether they be F.U.-related or fic-related. Go F.U.! And congrats to new fanboy Avernger42. ^_^
Monday, 24 July
11:44 p.m.
Sometimes I think that because of what happened in second year, Ginny is a lot more grown up than I am in certain ways.
Every night, no matter how exhausted we are, Ginny and I usually stay up and have a little chat. Sometimes it's about completely silly things (eg. Ron's previously mentioned toilet mishap, which we giggled about for an hour); other times we have semi-serious conversations. Occasionally, Ginny talks about Michael Corner, her Ravenclaw boyfriend, but not in the silly, giggly way that Parvarti and Lavender talk about their fleeting love interests. Personally, I still think that Harry would have been better for Ginny, but Harry's almost as oblivious and stupid as Ron when it comes to these things. So I really don't blame her for giving up.
Anyway, tonight we somehow got into a discussion about You-Know-Who.
We were both lying in our respective beds in the dark, talking quietly so that Mrs. Weasley wouldn't come up and yell at us to get to sleep because we have a lot to do tomorrow and then Ginny would point out that Mrs. Weasley also has a lot to do tomorrow and she's still awake and Mrs. Weasley would slam the door. This has happened several times.
Ginny had stopped talking and had been silent for awhile, so I assumed that she had fallen asleep. I had just made up my mind to quietly crawl out of bed and grab my journal (because I'd nearly forgotten my weekly goals) when Ginny spoke up.
"What do you think he wants, Hermione?" she asked quietly.
I lay back down, journal forgotten. "Who?"
"You-Know-Who."
I got a chill, and then pondered this very seriously for a moment before replying, "Power, I suppose."
Ginny was silent for a moment. Then, "But why?"
"The same reason everyone else wants power, I guess," I replied pensively. "It's human nature."
Ginny was quiet again for a few seconds. Then she said, in a chillingly cold voice, "I don't think he is human, Hermione."
Ginny's sheets rustled as she turned on her side, facing me. I could make out the whites of her eyes in the semi-darkness. "Why did he kill all those people last time? Why did he kill all those Muggles? It was pointless, power wise. I think he did it for fun, not power."
I felt sick, and I was glad Ginny couldn't see my face in the dark. I shivered involuntarily, even though it's always stiflingly warm and stuffy in Grimmauld Place. I thought again about my parents, about all the revolting things I've read about You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters, about what he's done to Harry…and Ginny…
"Oh, Ginny," I whispered shakily, "he's just an evil, evil…thing…"
Ginny's eyes met mine, and then she looked away. "I'm sorry I brought it up," she said quickly. "It's just…I had to talk to someone about it – "
"I know."
"Dad says they're loads better prepared this time…"
"I know," I repeated. It was silent in the room again, but this time I knew Ginny hadn't fallen asleep. I was wide awake by then, and I suddenly thought of Harry and got very cold all over.
"Ginny?" I whispered, sitting up in bed.
"Yes?"
"I'm afraid for Harry," I blurted out in the barest of whispers. "I think that's one of the things he really wants."
I was shaking like mad now, and like the baby I am, I was on the verge of tears. Because I'd finally said what I'd secretly been fearing since Harry came back holding the Triwizard Cup and Cedric's body: Harry dead, Ron dead, Ginny and her parents dead, real Death Eaters on Arbour Court…
By then I was crying quietly. Ginny crawled out of bed and came over to give me a hug. I thought it was odd that Ginny, the younger one, was comforting me. "Dumbledore won't let that happen," she said firmly.
Dumbledore dead too, and no one to protect us…
I hugged Ginny back and apologized for behaving like a baby and Ginny said it was her fault for bringing it up. We hugged again and Ginny went back to her bed.
But really, I think I'm glad she brought it up, because I had to get that out. I had to tell someone how frightened I really am. I finally said out loud what I think everyone's been secretly afraid of, and I feel so much better now.
Mrs. Crick would be proud. I think I'm finally on the road to emotional satisfaction.
Weekly Goals
1. Enlist Ron to aid in campaign to get Harry to come to Grimmauld Place.
2. Continue attempts to befriend Kreacher. Possibly begin anew by presenting him with gifts of new clothing? Look into learning how to knit and/or sew.
3. Begin Arithmancy revision.
4. Continue on road to emotional satisfaction.