Author's Notes: I love Fred and George.
Don't forget to tell your friends about The Sorceress Diaries – why buy a mattress anywhere else?
Monday, 31 July
5:57 p.m.
I told them to be more careful! I just knew that they were going to get themselves into trouble eventually! But did anyone listen to me? Did anyone care to think that, oh, perhaps Hermione might be right? No! You'd think the twins would have learned their lesson yesterday after they and Ginny nearly got caught with the Extendables by Lupin when they were lurking outside the kitchen. But no, they had to go and risk it again today. Now they've gone and gotten themselves in trouble, the great idiots – well, serves them right for being so careless! It's not that I care that Fred and George got into trouble, it's just that we can't risk the Extendable Ears anymore and it's all their fault!!!
Perhaps I should backtrack.
Ron and I were playing chess with the marble chess set we found Saturday (although I think I'd prefer to play with his set, because I'm fairly sure the marble one belonged to Mr. Black, and occasionally the King and Queen insult me when I make a wrong move. I keep thinking that any second my pawns are going to turn around and start attacking me with a cry of, "Kill the Mudblood!") in his room this morning. Ginny had gone on a quest to find Crookshanks. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, along with Sirius, had gone off to the drawing room after breakfast to have another one of their private talks about Order business. Of course, the twins rushed up to their bedroom to haul out the Extendables immediately after their parents and Sirius left the kitchen.
"You lot coming?" George asked hastily when we met them on the stairs.
"Perhaps we should give the Extendables a rest for awhile," I said sensibly. "You were nearly caught yesterday, and I think your mum's beginning to suspect something."
Fred turned to Ron and Ginny. "You lot coming?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and stomped up the stairs.
Wisely, Ron and Ginny declined, and ten minutes later, just when Ron was about to take my knight –
"FREDERICK ARTHUR WEASLEY!"
Ron and I froze. He winced, and I sighed and waited for the inevitable.
"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, LURKING ABOUT OUTSIDE THE DOOR AND – WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT?!"
"Run, Fred, run," Ron urged under his breath. Mrs. Black had awoken due to all the yelling and was now adding her own screams and wails to the noise.
Fred's reply was unintelligible. But Mrs. Weasley's voice raised a few decibels more, if that was possible. "WHAT DID I SAY, YOUNG MAN?! IF I CAUGHT YOU EAVESDROPPING ON ORDER BUSINESS AGAIN, I SAID THAT – GEORGE, FREEZE!"
"Damn," Ron muttered. "Thought he'd get away, at least."
"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, MISTER?! BOTH OF YOU, COME HERE! I AM ABSOLUTELY ASHAMED AND DISGUSTED AT THE BOTH OF YOU – "
One of the twins said something in an indignant voice.
"NO! I HAVE SAID IT ONCE, I HAVE SAID IT TWICE, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO JOIN THE ORDER! WAIT UNTIL I GET YOUR FATHER OUT HERE! ARTHUR! ARTHUR!"
There was the sound of a door slamming, and then more angry voices. Ron groaned and fell backwards onto his bed, which we were both sitting on. The chess set bounced a bit, and Ron's bishops both yelled at him.
"Shall I say I told them so?" I asked, folding my arms. "I hope they had the good sense to at least hide the Extendables, or to not tell her what they really are, because if your mum finds out that they actually invented something for the specific purpose of eavesdropping on her…"
"Hermione, we're talking about Fred and George here," Ron said. "They're professionals at this."
At that moment, Ginny burst in, Crookshanks in her arms. "Did you both hear that?"
We nodded grimly.
"Let's go, then," Ginny said in a very business-like way, setting Crookshanks down.
"Go where?" I asked.
"To hide the rest of the Extendables, of course. Come on."
"Absolutely not!" I cried. "We are going to stay right here, and when your mother asks us if we know anything about this, we're going to deny it. The twins brought this upon themselves. If your mum confiscates the Extendables, then it's their own fault!"
So that was how I found myself up in Fred and George's room a few moments later, frantically stashing every single skin-coloured piece of string out of sight. Halfway through our hiding efforts, the door creaked open and we all froze. However, it was just the twins, having returned from the telling-off of their lives. But instead of looking properly ashamed, they strode in like war heroes.
"Well I hope you're proud of yourselves!" I said shrilly, hands on my hips.
"Excellent, you've hidden most of them…we were just going to do that…" said George in delight.
"Fat lot of good they're going to do, now! If your mother catches you again, we'll all be grounded for life!" I said angrily.
"Don't worry, Hermione, Mum'll forget about this by supper," Fred said confidently.
"FRED! GEORGE!" came Mrs. Weasley's furious voice from downstairs. "THESE CUPBOARDS ARE NOT GOING TO SCRUB OUT THEMSELVES!"
"Well, she'll definitely have forgotten about it by the time we're thirty, at least," George said with a shrug.
Idiots.
Weekly Goals
1. Never, ever again allow myself to participate in a scheme conducted by the Weasley twins.
2. Astronomy revision.
3. Pay Bill back for buying Harry's birthday chocolates for us. Remind Ron again that while enormous amounts of chocolate were an excellent birthday gift, two absolutely gigantic boxes of Honeydukes's best chocolate is too much candy for a small army, never mind Harry.
4. Continue attempts to befriend Kreacher. Possibly ask Mrs. Weasley for helpful knitting/sewing spells to make elfish clothes?