We are... BACK!!!
*Yes, the cops still have Shadow's house surrounded. 8 billion reporters are swarming around outside.*
SHADOW: Muwahahahahahahah. We're dead.
HIEI: Lovely.
SHADOW: Am I of sound mind?
HIEI: HELL NO!!! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?
SHADOW: I need to write my will.
HIEI: Cute...
SHADOW: *pulls out a piece of paper and writes something*
HIEI: *snatches the paper and reads it* "I, Shadow Jaganshi, no relation to Hiei Jaganshi, and being of sound body at the moment I write this but since you are reading it my body is probably not-so-sound anymore, anyway, I, Shadow Jaganshi, of sound body and no mind, leave everything to Kurama. Because Hiei's with me and we're both gonna die, so obviously I can't leave it to him."
SHADOW: Like it?
HIEI: *sarcastically* Cute, Shadow...
SHADOW: Thankya, thankya.
*there's an explosion and about ten men with guns burst in. Shadow and Hiei stand calmly, smiling evilly as they are surrounded by the SWAT team*
SHADOW: Hiei, do you think the readers should see the violence that will occur here as we maul these poor innocent men?
HIEI: Nah. *looks at you (yes, you. The reader.)* Buzz off. Go read the story that is written blow. Yeah, scroll down. There ya go. Read! Now!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ LET US CONTINUE!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPITER TOO
Blackmail Central
(Leave all your belongings on the doorstep and get the hell out before you
become the laughingstock of humanity)
SHADOW: As I was saying, this'll probably be great blackmail against Kuwabara.
HIEI: Then hit play already!!!
SHADOW: OKee okee!!! *hits play on the VCR remote*
~*~ On the Tape ~*~
*the camera is focused on Shadow's face*
SHADOW: *whispering* You'll love this. Hiei, I hope you see this someday... *turns the camera and sneaks around a corner*
*Kuwabara is making out with a pillow and making sound effects as if it's a real person*
SHADOW: *still whispering* God, this is great. I love getting this kind of thing on tape.
*in the background*
HIEI: GET LOST!!! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
KURAMA: Hiei, it's just a cat.
HIEI: It's Kuwabara's cat, and that makes it all ten times worse. Who KNOWS what he's done with that thing!
CAT: Meow.
HIEI: Buzz off, cat!
CAT: Meow.
*back to Kuwabara*
KUWABARA: Mmmmm, yeah, mmmm... *kissing the pillow*
SHADOW: I am soooo burning that pillow after he's done with it.
KUWABARA: Yes! Yes! Mmmmmmmm!!!
SHADOW: Heh heh heh... I love my camera...
KUWABARA: Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
*in the background*
HIEI: Good, that cat's finally gone... Where's Shadow?
KURAMA: Stay away! She's got her camera! I saw her go upstairs with it.
HIEI: Ack. I'll stay down here.
KURAMA: ... What is there horrible noise upstairs?
HIEI: What?
KURAMA: Don't you hear that?
*meanwhile...*
KUWABARA: *still making out with the pillow* I love you!!! *singing horribley off-key* You are so beyootifull... To meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeEEEeEEEE!!!
*the window breaks and Kuwabara continues hugging the pillow*
SHADOW: Smooch.
*and...*
KURAMA: Are you sure Shadow doesn't rent rooms to couples upstairs?
HIEI: I would know. My room is upstairs. If there were people having sex up there, I believe I would have known it.
KURAMA: Maybe I'm just hearing things.
HIEI: Genius...
KURAMA: Aren't I though?
*back at Kuwabara and the pillow*
SHADOW: God, how long can somebody make out with a pillow? I don't think two living people ever kssed this long, let alone a retard and a pillow... If he doesn't stop soon, I'll run out of tape and my pillow will be swimming in Kuwa-slobber...
KUWABARA: *stands up, acting like nothing happened, and walks toward the camera.*
SHADOW: *darts away before he notices her and goes downstairs. She finds Hiei and Kurama, playing pool, and starts filming them* If anyone asks, like Kuwabara, I've been down here the whole time.
HIEI: What whole time?
SHADOW: Never mind.
KURAMA: Why are you all out of breath?
*Hiei and Kurama exchange freaked out glances*
SHADOW: YOU SICK BOYS, I WAS DOING NO SUCH THING!!! *grabs a pool stick and hits them both over the head* And I'm out of breath because I just ran down three flights of stairs.
HIEI: I'll take your word for it. Do you have to carry that stupid camera everywhere you go?
KUWABARA: *walks in* Hey guys.
SHADOW: *focuses the camera on Kuwabara* You've got a feather in your hair. Why do you have a feather in your hair? Have you been abusing my pillows? *chokes, then bursts out laughing*
KURAMA: O_o Why is that funny?
HIEI: Beats the heck outta me.
*the screen fades out*
~*~ Welcome back to Shadow's living room!!! Aren't we excited??? ~*~
KUWABARA: OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU FILM THAT?!
HIEI: Shadow, I'll love you forever if you give me cpoies of that tape.
SHADOW: *smlies evilly at Kuwabara*
KUWABARA: Shadow, I'll love you forever if you don't give Hiei copies of that.
KURAMA: I'll love you forever if I get some of the money you get when you sell those.
SHADOW: *looks around at Kurama and Hiei's smirking faces and Kuwabara's freaked out, pleading face**sarcastically* Gee, tough choice. Two cute guys loving me or one really stupid lookin' guy loving me. *hands Hiei a tape* It's alllllll right there.
HIEI: I LOVE YOU!!!
KUWABARA: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
*Shadow is counting out some money and handing it to Kurama*
KURAMA: I love you too, Shadow.
KUWABARA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
SHADOW: Where's Yusuke? I thought for sure he'd want something too.
KURAMA: He passed out from laughing so much he suffocated about halfway through.
SHADOW: *looks at the floor, where Yuske is laying with a huge smile on his face* Oh. That works.
KUWABARA: I HATE YOU, SHADOW!!! HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!
SHADOW: That's fine with me, Kuwa. Hiei and Kurama love me and that's alllll that matters.
KUWABARA: *really stupid freaked out surprised look on his face* But... but... but...
SHADOW: No, I do not want to see your butt. That is the very LAST thing in this world that I want to see.
KUWABARA: *keeps stuttering while Hiei, Kurama, and Shadow laugh at him* Noo...
HIEI: *smirking* *mocking an answering machine* Blackmail Central. Muwahahahaha!!! Please leave all your money at the doorstep or you will be the laughingstock or humanity.
KUWABARA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
HIEI: Yes, Kuwabara. I am gonna blackmail you out of house and home and everything else you have. Except your clothes. You can keep them, cuz seeing you naked is something that would cause my suicide.
KUWABARA: Well then! *starts stripping*
HIEI: AAAHHHHHHH!!! *turns around and covers his eyes*
SHADOW: *whips out her camera* You take anything else off and it'll just be more blackmail materials.
KUWABARA: *standing in his underwear* But...
SHADOW: PUT YOUR GOD DAMN CLOTHES ON, UGLY BOY!!! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THREE MEN AND ONE GIRL!!! STRIPPING IN FRONT OF THREE MEN, ALTHOUGH ONE MAY BE UNCONSCIOUS, IS A SIGN OF GAYNESS AND WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THIS HOUSE!!! GO STRIP OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, IF YOU MUST!!!
KUWABARA: *puts his clothes back on* Fine...
HIEI: Is it safe?
SHADOW: Yeah.
KURAMA: *strangles Kuwabara* Contrary to common belief, Hiei and I are not and never were or will be gay!!! KEEP YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES ON YOUR UGLY BODY!!!
SHADOW/HIEI: Gasp!
SHADOW: Nice, Kurama!
KURAMA: *drops Kuwabara* Keep that in mind, retard.
KUWABARA: *nodding* Okay... *passes out*
SHADOW: God, finally...
HIEI: What DID you do with that pillow he was making out with?
SHADOW: I fed it to his cat.
KURAMA: Seriously?
SHADOW: Yes, I'm serious.
KURAMA/HIEI: *burst out laughing*
HIEI: And it didn't die?
SHADOW: Amazingly, no.
KURAMA: *laughing* That's great!
HIEI: Hey, you got any more embarassing videos? Got any of Kurama?
KURAMA: Hey, there'll be no blackmailing of this fox. You keep your blackmail restricted to Kuwabara.
HIEI: Who said anything about blackmailing you? I just want to laugh at you.
KURAMA: -_- You're sooooo kind.
HIEI: Hey, you laughed at me, why shouldn't I laugh at you?!
KURAMA: You were on a sugar high, Hiei. You were doing the worm. YOU WERE IMITATING ELVIS PRESLEY!!! OF COURSE I LAUGHED AT YOU!!!
HIEI: Key sentence is: "You were on a sugar high, Hiei."
SHADOW: It was still funny.
HIEI: *sulking*
KURAMA: I can't for the life of me think of anything I've ever done that would make a good embarassing video.
SHADOW: Do you sing in the shower?
KURAMA: What? What's that got to do with anything?
SHADOW: Just curious.
KURAMA: Well it's none of your business.
SHADOW: YOU DO, DON'T YOU!!! YOU SING IN THE SHOWER!!! MUWAHAHAHAHHA!!!
KURAMA: *blushing* I do not!!!
SHADOW: How about you, Hiei?
HIEI: I don't sing.
SHADOW: *The Look* Liar.
HIEI: No, I do not sing in the shower, but I sing occasionally when I THINK I'm alone. But you're a little snoop and you seem to have a sixth sense about when people are doing embarassing and out-of-character things.
SHADOW: ^_^ Seems that way, doesn't it.
KURAMA: What has me singing in the shower got to do with anything?
SHADOW: You're the genius. Figure it out. *leans over and whispers something to Hiei*
HIEI: *smirk* Kurama, she is plotting evil things.
KURAMA: Yeah well she better not do anything or I'll kick her butt.
SHADOW: You kick my butt and you give me back all the money I gave you.
KURAMA: But... How fair is that?
SHADOW: I think it's very fair.
KURAMA: *pouts*
HIEI: Well, I'm going upstairs. Unless you've got some other amusing videos.
SHADOW: No.
HIEI: Okay then. I'm going to my room.
SHADOW: Wait, I'll come with you.
*Hiei looks at her funny and she points to Kurama so only Hiei can see*
HIEI: Whatever. *nods and walks upstairs with Shadow right behind him*
SHADOW: Kurama, Stay Right There.
KURAMA: You're planning something, aren't you?!
HIEI: Planning something? No, of course not! We're just gonna go hang out up in my room.
KURAMA: Hiei, you don't let anyone in your room.
HIEI: Except Shadow.
KURAMA: Since when?
SHADOW: Since now. Let's go.
*Shadow and Hiei run up the stairs to Hiei's room*
HIEI: You've never been in my room before, have you?
SHADOW: No, and I'm not sure I want to... *looking at the door nervously. It's plastered with stickers reading things like "Go Away", "No Trespassing", "TAKE A HIKE", "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK", and "Beware of Demon", plus some police caution tape, but one thing stuck out. Right in the middle of the door Hiei had hung a sign that said "NO TRESPASSING. Violaters will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."*
HIEI: Oh, don't you like my signs?
SHADOW: Cute.
HIEI: Ignore them.
*Hiei pushes the door open and they walk into a pitch-black room. He flicks the light switch and three black lights positioned around the room flicker on. There's a large lava lamp in one corner. There's a desk, a bed, a dresser, everything you'd see in a normal bedroom. On the desk are several little evil-looking incense holders with burning incense in them. The whole room smells like ashes and just-blown-out birthday candles. There is one window, which has dark curtains covering it to keep out the light.*
SHADOW: Cute... Looks kinda like somebody lives here who is afraid of sunlight...
HIEI: *glares* What's that supposed to mean?
SHADOW: I like it.
HIEI: Good. Now what were you planning for Kurama, exactly?
SHADOW: He sings in the shower.
HIEI: Yes, so I realized.
SHADOW: We plant little tape recorders in all the bathrooms. Those guys are staying over night, right?
HIEI: As far as I know.
SHADOW: Well, he'll take a shower in the morning and we'll get his singing on tape!
HIEI: Nice... You're so evil.
SHADOW: *smiling really big* I know, it's great!
HIEI: Yes it is. Where's the tape recorders?
SHADOW: In my room. Let's go.
*they run down one flight of stairs to Shadow's room. She has no evil signs on her door. Instead, she has photos plastered all over the door. Hiei looks at them for a second until his eyes stop on one.*
HIEI: Why in the name of everything demented in this world do you have a picture of a roadkill pigeon on your door?!
SHADOW: I haven't got a clue, but it's staying there. *she walks into her room and pulls four tiny tape recorders out of a desk drawer*
HIEI: *still looking at the pictures* Shadow, I insist that you remove this picture at once. *pointing at a picture of himself sleeping*
SHADOW: Why? It's cute.
HIEI: O_O And when did you get a picture of me sleeping?!
SHADOW: You were asleep on the couch after you, Kurama, and Yusuke all stayed up late playing cards and pool. I got one of Kurama on there somewhere too.
HIEI: Why do you have a picture of cheese?
SHADOW: I don't know. Ah! Here is it. *points at a picture* Isn't that cute?
HIEI: *blushes* Where do you get these pictures and how come I never see you around? I'm going to eat your camera.
SHADOW: That's not nice. *the picture she was pointing at is one of Hiei laughing so hard he's crying*
HIEI: Why don't you have any embarassing picture of Kurama tacked up?
SHADOW: I do. *points to one*
HIEI: Why in the name of EVERYTHING GOOD IN THIS WORLD WOULD YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF KURAMA THROWING UP?
SHADOW: Hey, it's just his back, how can you tell he's yacking?
HIEI: He's kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet. When do all these things happen that I'm not aware of?
SHADOW: Then there's always this one...
HIEI: OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE PICUTRES!!!
SHADOW: And this one. It's cute. And that's the time when I had to carry you home because you and Kurama were sparring again... And I always liked this one... And--- *she's cut off as Hiei slaps his hand over her mouth and drags her away*
HIEI: Are we going to plant those recorders or not?
SHADOW: Of course we are.
*~* Half an hour later*~*
HIEI: I'm done.
SHADOW: Me too.
HIEI: Now we just gotta wait for him to take a shower, and hope he forgot about us being in the bathrooms for ten minutes...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oooh, not a cliffhanger ending!!! Good for you! You get to sit on the cliff rather than hang off it!!! Just don't fall off... I don't want to lose any good readers...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*in the back of a cop car*
HIEI: Whatever happened to mauling them?!
SHADOW: It's your fault! You just had to go get in the way of that trigger- happy dude with a machine gun... Oh shit! The second chapter is over already?! You're not supposed to see this!!!
*Hiei and Shadow are in straight jackets in the back of a police car*
HIEI: Shoo!!! *blows at you (yes, you)* Buzz off!!! You just sit around and wait for the next chapter! Don't sit here and watch us being hauled of to some juvenile detention center!!!
DRIVER (aka COP #199): You'll be going to a worse place than that...
SHADOW: SHUT UP, JACKASS!!!
HIEI: Shadow, shut up!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, that looks like something everybody wants to do in their spare time...
HIEI: SHUT UP, DAMN YOU!!!
Right. Read and Review, people!!!
*Yes, the cops still have Shadow's house surrounded. 8 billion reporters are swarming around outside.*
SHADOW: Muwahahahahahahah. We're dead.
HIEI: Lovely.
SHADOW: Am I of sound mind?
HIEI: HELL NO!!! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?
SHADOW: I need to write my will.
HIEI: Cute...
SHADOW: *pulls out a piece of paper and writes something*
HIEI: *snatches the paper and reads it* "I, Shadow Jaganshi, no relation to Hiei Jaganshi, and being of sound body at the moment I write this but since you are reading it my body is probably not-so-sound anymore, anyway, I, Shadow Jaganshi, of sound body and no mind, leave everything to Kurama. Because Hiei's with me and we're both gonna die, so obviously I can't leave it to him."
SHADOW: Like it?
HIEI: *sarcastically* Cute, Shadow...
SHADOW: Thankya, thankya.
*there's an explosion and about ten men with guns burst in. Shadow and Hiei stand calmly, smiling evilly as they are surrounded by the SWAT team*
SHADOW: Hiei, do you think the readers should see the violence that will occur here as we maul these poor innocent men?
HIEI: Nah. *looks at you (yes, you. The reader.)* Buzz off. Go read the story that is written blow. Yeah, scroll down. There ya go. Read! Now!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ LET US CONTINUE!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPITER TOO
Blackmail Central
(Leave all your belongings on the doorstep and get the hell out before you
become the laughingstock of humanity)
SHADOW: As I was saying, this'll probably be great blackmail against Kuwabara.
HIEI: Then hit play already!!!
SHADOW: OKee okee!!! *hits play on the VCR remote*
~*~ On the Tape ~*~
*the camera is focused on Shadow's face*
SHADOW: *whispering* You'll love this. Hiei, I hope you see this someday... *turns the camera and sneaks around a corner*
*Kuwabara is making out with a pillow and making sound effects as if it's a real person*
SHADOW: *still whispering* God, this is great. I love getting this kind of thing on tape.
*in the background*
HIEI: GET LOST!!! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
KURAMA: Hiei, it's just a cat.
HIEI: It's Kuwabara's cat, and that makes it all ten times worse. Who KNOWS what he's done with that thing!
CAT: Meow.
HIEI: Buzz off, cat!
CAT: Meow.
*back to Kuwabara*
KUWABARA: Mmmmm, yeah, mmmm... *kissing the pillow*
SHADOW: I am soooo burning that pillow after he's done with it.
KUWABARA: Yes! Yes! Mmmmmmmm!!!
SHADOW: Heh heh heh... I love my camera...
KUWABARA: Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
*in the background*
HIEI: Good, that cat's finally gone... Where's Shadow?
KURAMA: Stay away! She's got her camera! I saw her go upstairs with it.
HIEI: Ack. I'll stay down here.
KURAMA: ... What is there horrible noise upstairs?
HIEI: What?
KURAMA: Don't you hear that?
*meanwhile...*
KUWABARA: *still making out with the pillow* I love you!!! *singing horribley off-key* You are so beyootifull... To meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeEEEeEEEE!!!
*the window breaks and Kuwabara continues hugging the pillow*
SHADOW: Smooch.
*and...*
KURAMA: Are you sure Shadow doesn't rent rooms to couples upstairs?
HIEI: I would know. My room is upstairs. If there were people having sex up there, I believe I would have known it.
KURAMA: Maybe I'm just hearing things.
HIEI: Genius...
KURAMA: Aren't I though?
*back at Kuwabara and the pillow*
SHADOW: God, how long can somebody make out with a pillow? I don't think two living people ever kssed this long, let alone a retard and a pillow... If he doesn't stop soon, I'll run out of tape and my pillow will be swimming in Kuwa-slobber...
KUWABARA: *stands up, acting like nothing happened, and walks toward the camera.*
SHADOW: *darts away before he notices her and goes downstairs. She finds Hiei and Kurama, playing pool, and starts filming them* If anyone asks, like Kuwabara, I've been down here the whole time.
HIEI: What whole time?
SHADOW: Never mind.
KURAMA: Why are you all out of breath?
*Hiei and Kurama exchange freaked out glances*
SHADOW: YOU SICK BOYS, I WAS DOING NO SUCH THING!!! *grabs a pool stick and hits them both over the head* And I'm out of breath because I just ran down three flights of stairs.
HIEI: I'll take your word for it. Do you have to carry that stupid camera everywhere you go?
KUWABARA: *walks in* Hey guys.
SHADOW: *focuses the camera on Kuwabara* You've got a feather in your hair. Why do you have a feather in your hair? Have you been abusing my pillows? *chokes, then bursts out laughing*
KURAMA: O_o Why is that funny?
HIEI: Beats the heck outta me.
*the screen fades out*
~*~ Welcome back to Shadow's living room!!! Aren't we excited??? ~*~
KUWABARA: OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU FILM THAT?!
HIEI: Shadow, I'll love you forever if you give me cpoies of that tape.
SHADOW: *smlies evilly at Kuwabara*
KUWABARA: Shadow, I'll love you forever if you don't give Hiei copies of that.
KURAMA: I'll love you forever if I get some of the money you get when you sell those.
SHADOW: *looks around at Kurama and Hiei's smirking faces and Kuwabara's freaked out, pleading face**sarcastically* Gee, tough choice. Two cute guys loving me or one really stupid lookin' guy loving me. *hands Hiei a tape* It's alllllll right there.
HIEI: I LOVE YOU!!!
KUWABARA: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
*Shadow is counting out some money and handing it to Kurama*
KURAMA: I love you too, Shadow.
KUWABARA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
SHADOW: Where's Yusuke? I thought for sure he'd want something too.
KURAMA: He passed out from laughing so much he suffocated about halfway through.
SHADOW: *looks at the floor, where Yuske is laying with a huge smile on his face* Oh. That works.
KUWABARA: I HATE YOU, SHADOW!!! HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!
SHADOW: That's fine with me, Kuwa. Hiei and Kurama love me and that's alllll that matters.
KUWABARA: *really stupid freaked out surprised look on his face* But... but... but...
SHADOW: No, I do not want to see your butt. That is the very LAST thing in this world that I want to see.
KUWABARA: *keeps stuttering while Hiei, Kurama, and Shadow laugh at him* Noo...
HIEI: *smirking* *mocking an answering machine* Blackmail Central. Muwahahahaha!!! Please leave all your money at the doorstep or you will be the laughingstock or humanity.
KUWABARA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
HIEI: Yes, Kuwabara. I am gonna blackmail you out of house and home and everything else you have. Except your clothes. You can keep them, cuz seeing you naked is something that would cause my suicide.
KUWABARA: Well then! *starts stripping*
HIEI: AAAHHHHHHH!!! *turns around and covers his eyes*
SHADOW: *whips out her camera* You take anything else off and it'll just be more blackmail materials.
KUWABARA: *standing in his underwear* But...
SHADOW: PUT YOUR GOD DAMN CLOTHES ON, UGLY BOY!!! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THREE MEN AND ONE GIRL!!! STRIPPING IN FRONT OF THREE MEN, ALTHOUGH ONE MAY BE UNCONSCIOUS, IS A SIGN OF GAYNESS AND WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THIS HOUSE!!! GO STRIP OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, IF YOU MUST!!!
KUWABARA: *puts his clothes back on* Fine...
HIEI: Is it safe?
SHADOW: Yeah.
KURAMA: *strangles Kuwabara* Contrary to common belief, Hiei and I are not and never were or will be gay!!! KEEP YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES ON YOUR UGLY BODY!!!
SHADOW/HIEI: Gasp!
SHADOW: Nice, Kurama!
KURAMA: *drops Kuwabara* Keep that in mind, retard.
KUWABARA: *nodding* Okay... *passes out*
SHADOW: God, finally...
HIEI: What DID you do with that pillow he was making out with?
SHADOW: I fed it to his cat.
KURAMA: Seriously?
SHADOW: Yes, I'm serious.
KURAMA/HIEI: *burst out laughing*
HIEI: And it didn't die?
SHADOW: Amazingly, no.
KURAMA: *laughing* That's great!
HIEI: Hey, you got any more embarassing videos? Got any of Kurama?
KURAMA: Hey, there'll be no blackmailing of this fox. You keep your blackmail restricted to Kuwabara.
HIEI: Who said anything about blackmailing you? I just want to laugh at you.
KURAMA: -_- You're sooooo kind.
HIEI: Hey, you laughed at me, why shouldn't I laugh at you?!
KURAMA: You were on a sugar high, Hiei. You were doing the worm. YOU WERE IMITATING ELVIS PRESLEY!!! OF COURSE I LAUGHED AT YOU!!!
HIEI: Key sentence is: "You were on a sugar high, Hiei."
SHADOW: It was still funny.
HIEI: *sulking*
KURAMA: I can't for the life of me think of anything I've ever done that would make a good embarassing video.
SHADOW: Do you sing in the shower?
KURAMA: What? What's that got to do with anything?
SHADOW: Just curious.
KURAMA: Well it's none of your business.
SHADOW: YOU DO, DON'T YOU!!! YOU SING IN THE SHOWER!!! MUWAHAHAHAHHA!!!
KURAMA: *blushing* I do not!!!
SHADOW: How about you, Hiei?
HIEI: I don't sing.
SHADOW: *The Look* Liar.
HIEI: No, I do not sing in the shower, but I sing occasionally when I THINK I'm alone. But you're a little snoop and you seem to have a sixth sense about when people are doing embarassing and out-of-character things.
SHADOW: ^_^ Seems that way, doesn't it.
KURAMA: What has me singing in the shower got to do with anything?
SHADOW: You're the genius. Figure it out. *leans over and whispers something to Hiei*
HIEI: *smirk* Kurama, she is plotting evil things.
KURAMA: Yeah well she better not do anything or I'll kick her butt.
SHADOW: You kick my butt and you give me back all the money I gave you.
KURAMA: But... How fair is that?
SHADOW: I think it's very fair.
KURAMA: *pouts*
HIEI: Well, I'm going upstairs. Unless you've got some other amusing videos.
SHADOW: No.
HIEI: Okay then. I'm going to my room.
SHADOW: Wait, I'll come with you.
*Hiei looks at her funny and she points to Kurama so only Hiei can see*
HIEI: Whatever. *nods and walks upstairs with Shadow right behind him*
SHADOW: Kurama, Stay Right There.
KURAMA: You're planning something, aren't you?!
HIEI: Planning something? No, of course not! We're just gonna go hang out up in my room.
KURAMA: Hiei, you don't let anyone in your room.
HIEI: Except Shadow.
KURAMA: Since when?
SHADOW: Since now. Let's go.
*Shadow and Hiei run up the stairs to Hiei's room*
HIEI: You've never been in my room before, have you?
SHADOW: No, and I'm not sure I want to... *looking at the door nervously. It's plastered with stickers reading things like "Go Away", "No Trespassing", "TAKE A HIKE", "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK", and "Beware of Demon", plus some police caution tape, but one thing stuck out. Right in the middle of the door Hiei had hung a sign that said "NO TRESPASSING. Violaters will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."*
HIEI: Oh, don't you like my signs?
SHADOW: Cute.
HIEI: Ignore them.
*Hiei pushes the door open and they walk into a pitch-black room. He flicks the light switch and three black lights positioned around the room flicker on. There's a large lava lamp in one corner. There's a desk, a bed, a dresser, everything you'd see in a normal bedroom. On the desk are several little evil-looking incense holders with burning incense in them. The whole room smells like ashes and just-blown-out birthday candles. There is one window, which has dark curtains covering it to keep out the light.*
SHADOW: Cute... Looks kinda like somebody lives here who is afraid of sunlight...
HIEI: *glares* What's that supposed to mean?
SHADOW: I like it.
HIEI: Good. Now what were you planning for Kurama, exactly?
SHADOW: He sings in the shower.
HIEI: Yes, so I realized.
SHADOW: We plant little tape recorders in all the bathrooms. Those guys are staying over night, right?
HIEI: As far as I know.
SHADOW: Well, he'll take a shower in the morning and we'll get his singing on tape!
HIEI: Nice... You're so evil.
SHADOW: *smiling really big* I know, it's great!
HIEI: Yes it is. Where's the tape recorders?
SHADOW: In my room. Let's go.
*they run down one flight of stairs to Shadow's room. She has no evil signs on her door. Instead, she has photos plastered all over the door. Hiei looks at them for a second until his eyes stop on one.*
HIEI: Why in the name of everything demented in this world do you have a picture of a roadkill pigeon on your door?!
SHADOW: I haven't got a clue, but it's staying there. *she walks into her room and pulls four tiny tape recorders out of a desk drawer*
HIEI: *still looking at the pictures* Shadow, I insist that you remove this picture at once. *pointing at a picture of himself sleeping*
SHADOW: Why? It's cute.
HIEI: O_O And when did you get a picture of me sleeping?!
SHADOW: You were asleep on the couch after you, Kurama, and Yusuke all stayed up late playing cards and pool. I got one of Kurama on there somewhere too.
HIEI: Why do you have a picture of cheese?
SHADOW: I don't know. Ah! Here is it. *points at a picture* Isn't that cute?
HIEI: *blushes* Where do you get these pictures and how come I never see you around? I'm going to eat your camera.
SHADOW: That's not nice. *the picture she was pointing at is one of Hiei laughing so hard he's crying*
HIEI: Why don't you have any embarassing picture of Kurama tacked up?
SHADOW: I do. *points to one*
HIEI: Why in the name of EVERYTHING GOOD IN THIS WORLD WOULD YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF KURAMA THROWING UP?
SHADOW: Hey, it's just his back, how can you tell he's yacking?
HIEI: He's kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet. When do all these things happen that I'm not aware of?
SHADOW: Then there's always this one...
HIEI: OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE PICUTRES!!!
SHADOW: And this one. It's cute. And that's the time when I had to carry you home because you and Kurama were sparring again... And I always liked this one... And--- *she's cut off as Hiei slaps his hand over her mouth and drags her away*
HIEI: Are we going to plant those recorders or not?
SHADOW: Of course we are.
*~* Half an hour later*~*
HIEI: I'm done.
SHADOW: Me too.
HIEI: Now we just gotta wait for him to take a shower, and hope he forgot about us being in the bathrooms for ten minutes...
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Oooh, not a cliffhanger ending!!! Good for you! You get to sit on the cliff rather than hang off it!!! Just don't fall off... I don't want to lose any good readers...
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*in the back of a cop car*
HIEI: Whatever happened to mauling them?!
SHADOW: It's your fault! You just had to go get in the way of that trigger- happy dude with a machine gun... Oh shit! The second chapter is over already?! You're not supposed to see this!!!
*Hiei and Shadow are in straight jackets in the back of a police car*
HIEI: Shoo!!! *blows at you (yes, you)* Buzz off!!! You just sit around and wait for the next chapter! Don't sit here and watch us being hauled of to some juvenile detention center!!!
DRIVER (aka COP #199): You'll be going to a worse place than that...
SHADOW: SHUT UP, JACKASS!!!
HIEI: Shadow, shut up!!!
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Well, that looks like something everybody wants to do in their spare time...
HIEI: SHUT UP, DAMN YOU!!!
Right. Read and Review, people!!!