Me: ok as agreed the vampires will write this chapter
All Vampires: HURRAH!!!
Me: Here you go
(Popeland gives Kain author powers)
Me: That 5$ will be mine! And at this point I'd like to announce I'm going into the fanfiction proof bomb shelter
(Popeland runs off)
Kain: Right then lets get this show on the road! ...what to do now........ aha!!
(Suddenly every thing begins to distort)
Janos: AHHHHHHH!!!!! Whats happening?
Kain: Were're going back in time
Turel: oh fabulous
Raziel: where are we going?
Kain: Meridian
Melchiah: Ermmm... why
Kain: *Darkly* I want to talk to an old ... friend
Vorador: is it Simon
Kain: What?
Dumah: Oh for gods sake Vorador! I don't think he meant Simon!
Kain: of course I didn't. Vorador you're a right idiot sometimes
Dumah: it's obviously john..
Kain: What!! no you idiots! I meant the Sarafan lord!
Rahab: The Sarafan Lords your friend?
Kain: Of course not! I was being sarcastic.
Zephon: So in fact you don't want to talk to an old friend?
Kain: Oh just shutup!!
(The background begins to rearrange itself)
Kain: and here we are
Sarafan Lord: And then I says to Mike, not on my watch soldier and then he says.....wait a minute.... Why am I surrounded by a horde of vampires
Kain: Steal my sword will you?!!!
Sarafan Lord: what sword? Hey what are you doing!!!!!!!! NOOOOOoooooo...........
(Sarafan Lord turns into a flower pot with a Lilac in it)
Kain: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! How ironic
Raziel: How the hell is that ironic?
Kain: ......in the way that if you don't shutup I'll turn you into a potato
Raziel: Oh......heh heh..... now I get it....very funny
Kain: Lets go back and blow up Moebius!
All: YAY!!
(Once again the landscape begins to distort)
Umah: Kain do you think turning the Sarafan lord into a flower will affect Nosgoths future badly?
Kain: We turned the most powerful enemy of the vampires into lilac, I think we might be all right
(The background begins to rearrange itself)
Kain: see nothing bad has happened
Raziel: errrrr.... Kain we're surrounded by millions of Hylden
Kain: oh yeah
(The hylden attack)
(The battle wages on for hours)
Raziel: DIE!!!
Vorador: AHA!!!
Turel: WHERE'S MY TOOTHBRUSH!! SOMEBODY STOLE MY TOOTHBURSH!!
Janos: amm....... Kain?
Kain: What?!!
Janos: I was just wondering , can't you just turn the Hylden into shoes or something?
Kain: Oh yeah
(For no apparent reason all the hylden turn into shoes)
Kain: there we go
Umah: whats going on?!!! Why are the hylden here?!
Kain: one second
( a copy of blood omen 2 appears in his hand)
Kain: okay ...
(He puts blood omen 2 on)
Raziel: what the hell?
(The opening cutscene plays and it shows Kain and his vampire armies laying waste to a human city. Suddenly a flower pot falls from a window and breaks over kains head. Kain stumbles around and then falls somehow managing to impale himself on the soul reaver. The vampire army panic and runs off. The humans find the flower pot and make it there king. It then shows the Sarafan killing all vampires)
Kain: ........well that was unexpected
Vorador: Wait a minute doesn't that mean we're all dead
Kain: VORADOR YOU STUPID*pop*
(The laws of physics snap into action and all the vampires are erased from history. Well except for Raziel. The laws of physics were never quite sure if he should have been there in the first place. But before Rahab is erased from history he draws on a moustache)
The Laws of Physics: Hey! Aren't you Rahab THE VAMPIRE?!!!!
Rahab: me? Of course not! Rahab never existed and he didn't have a moustache.
The Laws of Physics: Fair enough
Raziel: DAMN VORADOR!!! Kain was the one with the author powers! Now we're stuck!!
Rahab: But lets look on the bright side. I'm still here
(Raziel looks at Rahab and breaks into tears)
Raziel: Why couldn't I have been erased too?!!
Rahab: Pull yourself together man!.... I mean vampire ...I mean... hey what the hell are you any way?
Raziel: well I'm .....i'm .... Nevermind that!! There's only one way we can fix this!!! We must destroy the Sarafan Lilac!!!
Rahab: How do you know?! Your only guessing!!
Raziel: Well all I did in soul reaver 2 was guess and that turned out fine......in theory. Anyway, DEATH TO THE SARAFAN.....lilac..
Next chapter
The confrontation with the Sarafan lilac!!!
Read and review!!
All Vampires: HURRAH!!!
Me: Here you go
(Popeland gives Kain author powers)
Me: That 5$ will be mine! And at this point I'd like to announce I'm going into the fanfiction proof bomb shelter
(Popeland runs off)
Kain: Right then lets get this show on the road! ...what to do now........ aha!!
(Suddenly every thing begins to distort)
Janos: AHHHHHHH!!!!! Whats happening?
Kain: Were're going back in time
Turel: oh fabulous
Raziel: where are we going?
Kain: Meridian
Melchiah: Ermmm... why
Kain: *Darkly* I want to talk to an old ... friend
Vorador: is it Simon
Kain: What?
Dumah: Oh for gods sake Vorador! I don't think he meant Simon!
Kain: of course I didn't. Vorador you're a right idiot sometimes
Dumah: it's obviously john..
Kain: What!! no you idiots! I meant the Sarafan lord!
Rahab: The Sarafan Lords your friend?
Kain: Of course not! I was being sarcastic.
Zephon: So in fact you don't want to talk to an old friend?
Kain: Oh just shutup!!
(The background begins to rearrange itself)
Kain: and here we are
Sarafan Lord: And then I says to Mike, not on my watch soldier and then he says.....wait a minute.... Why am I surrounded by a horde of vampires
Kain: Steal my sword will you?!!!
Sarafan Lord: what sword? Hey what are you doing!!!!!!!! NOOOOOoooooo...........
(Sarafan Lord turns into a flower pot with a Lilac in it)
Kain: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! How ironic
Raziel: How the hell is that ironic?
Kain: ......in the way that if you don't shutup I'll turn you into a potato
Raziel: Oh......heh heh..... now I get it....very funny
Kain: Lets go back and blow up Moebius!
All: YAY!!
(Once again the landscape begins to distort)
Umah: Kain do you think turning the Sarafan lord into a flower will affect Nosgoths future badly?
Kain: We turned the most powerful enemy of the vampires into lilac, I think we might be all right
(The background begins to rearrange itself)
Kain: see nothing bad has happened
Raziel: errrrr.... Kain we're surrounded by millions of Hylden
Kain: oh yeah
(The hylden attack)
(The battle wages on for hours)
Raziel: DIE!!!
Vorador: AHA!!!
Turel: WHERE'S MY TOOTHBRUSH!! SOMEBODY STOLE MY TOOTHBURSH!!
Janos: amm....... Kain?
Kain: What?!!
Janos: I was just wondering , can't you just turn the Hylden into shoes or something?
Kain: Oh yeah
(For no apparent reason all the hylden turn into shoes)
Kain: there we go
Umah: whats going on?!!! Why are the hylden here?!
Kain: one second
( a copy of blood omen 2 appears in his hand)
Kain: okay ...
(He puts blood omen 2 on)
Raziel: what the hell?
(The opening cutscene plays and it shows Kain and his vampire armies laying waste to a human city. Suddenly a flower pot falls from a window and breaks over kains head. Kain stumbles around and then falls somehow managing to impale himself on the soul reaver. The vampire army panic and runs off. The humans find the flower pot and make it there king. It then shows the Sarafan killing all vampires)
Kain: ........well that was unexpected
Vorador: Wait a minute doesn't that mean we're all dead
Kain: VORADOR YOU STUPID*pop*
(The laws of physics snap into action and all the vampires are erased from history. Well except for Raziel. The laws of physics were never quite sure if he should have been there in the first place. But before Rahab is erased from history he draws on a moustache)
The Laws of Physics: Hey! Aren't you Rahab THE VAMPIRE?!!!!
Rahab: me? Of course not! Rahab never existed and he didn't have a moustache.
The Laws of Physics: Fair enough
Raziel: DAMN VORADOR!!! Kain was the one with the author powers! Now we're stuck!!
Rahab: But lets look on the bright side. I'm still here
(Raziel looks at Rahab and breaks into tears)
Raziel: Why couldn't I have been erased too?!!
Rahab: Pull yourself together man!.... I mean vampire ...I mean... hey what the hell are you any way?
Raziel: well I'm .....i'm .... Nevermind that!! There's only one way we can fix this!!! We must destroy the Sarafan Lilac!!!
Rahab: How do you know?! Your only guessing!!
Raziel: Well all I did in soul reaver 2 was guess and that turned out fine......in theory. Anyway, DEATH TO THE SARAFAN.....lilac..
Next chapter
The confrontation with the Sarafan lilac!!!
Read and review!!