Hello! I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, so THANKS!!! On other
topics... I think this chapter or the next one will be the end of my story.
It depends on what happens in this one. I don't know how you write stories,
but I somehow get good stories by writing them off the top of my head... Oh
well. On with the story, then, cuz I'm sure none of you care about my
writing techniques.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*Hiei has gotten a 1 square inch hole dug with his fingernail. Shadow's drugs are starting to wear off, and she's laying on the floor nearby twitching and drooling like a typical completely insane person*
HIEI: O_o This is gonna take forever...
SHADOW: *suddenly shakes her head and stands up, promptly falling back over on top of Hiei* Aaagh!!!
HIEI: Shadow! Get off of me! I'm trying to get us out of here, you know!!!
SHADOW: *stares at the wall like somebody who is drunk, squinting and swaying* Kick it.
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: Why don't you kick the wall, genius. It'd be a lot easier.
HIEI: O_O ... -_- I feel stupid now, thank you.
SHADOW: You're welcome.
HIEI: _
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ MOVE FORWARD! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
CHAPITER NYNE
"Switzerland!"
SHADOW: KURAMA'S LOST HIS MIND!!!
YUSUKE: HIT THE DIRT!!!
*Shadow and Yusuke dive to the ground and cover their heads*
KURAMA: *holding a paintball gun* Huh? Idiots... I'm not going to SHOOT you!
SHADOW: He's trying to fool us with reverse psychology! Stay down!
KURAMA: *shoots a splatter of paint and it explodes on the ground right beside Shadow's head* Get up!
SHADOW: OH MY GOD!! HE'S TRYING--- What the... Paint?
HIEI: Yes, genius. It's a paintball gun.
SHADOW: *jumps up, pointing at Kurama* YOU SCARED THE HECK OUT OF ME! HOW DARE YOU?
KURAMA: I dare. Anywho, as I was saying, there is one solution to this. Paintball war! Once Kuwabara regains consciousness, we are going to have a paintball war.
HIEI: And what good will that do? We'll shoot the hell out of each other, then when we're done, they'll go back to trying to blackmail us...
KURAMA: No. Okay, you all shoot the crap out of each other, and when you, er, I mean, whenever one team wins, that will prove that you... er... ~they~ are better than the others, and so that if the others keep blackmailing you... er... ~them~, you... I mean... ~the better team~ will kick the blackmailing losers' butts!
YUSUKE: *jumps up* THAT SHRIMP IS NOT BETTER THAN ME!
HIEI: That's a matter of opinion, Yusuke.
YUSUKE: HEY!
SHADOW: It's debatable. Now get that dolt awake so that we can kick your butts.
KURAMA: I'm ref. Remember? I'm neutral.
SHADOW: See, neutral people do have a use after all!
HIEI: Switzerland!
SHADOW: What?
HIEI: Kurama is Switzerland. He's neutral.
SHADOW: That's nice.
HIEI: Isn't it though?
SHADOW: Not really.
HIEI: Whatever.
^~^~^meanwhile, off to the side on the sidewalk^~^~^
KURAMA: *slapping Kuwabara in his bloody, cut-to-pieces-by-bloodthirsty-man- eating-roses face* Wake up, you dolt! You haven't got the time to be laying around bleeding to death! You have to wage war against those two pyromaniacs over there! *points to Shadow and Hiei, who are still standing in the middle of the road, arguing about Switzerland*
^~^~^Meanwhile, back with Shadow and Hiei in the middle of the road^~^~^
HIEI: What are people from Switzerland called, anywho?
SHADOW: Swedish ... Do they have armadillos in Switzerland?
HIEI: How do you expect me to know?
SHADOW: I think armadillos only live in Africa... or Australia or something... Are there any deserts in Switzerland?
HIEI: I don't know! Isn't Switzerland some place famous for skiing?
SHADOW: Swedish fish come from there.
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: Those little red gummy fish. They're called Swedish fish. They're from Switzerland, right?
HIEI: Somehow I doubt it.
SHADOW: Why?
*Those two, with their sudden obsession with Switzerland, don't notice the mack truck headed towards them*
HIEI: Because...
SHADOW: Maybe Switzerland people are called Swiss. That makes more sense, doesn't it? Cuz there aren't any d's in Switzerland.
HIEI: Yes there is, idiot! The very last letter!
SHADOW: That doesn't count! Cuz Swiss cheese might be from Switzerland if they're called swiss when they're from Switzerland...
HIEI: Your BRAIN is made out of Swiss cheese.
SHADOW: What?
HIEI: Full of holes.
SHADOW: Oh... *pause* Wait! Hey! That's an insult!
HIEI: Delayed reaction...
*by now, the mack truck is merely 50 feet down the road*
MACK TRUCK: HONK HONK!!!
HIEI & SHADOW: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*Shadow and Hiei are both slammed into the front of the truck and sent spinning. Shadow keeps flying while Hiei gains control and does a few flips before landing in a crouch position and sliding back ten feet, still in the path of the truck when he finally comes to a stop on one knee*
HIEI: EEP!
*He stays down on one knee and the truck goes right over top of him*
HIEI: *sigh of relief* Wait... *looks around* Where's Shadow?
SHADOW: OOF!!! *hits the ground about 50 feet ahead of the truck and stands up instantly*
TRUCK BRAKES: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
SHADOW: HOLY HELL!!!
*the truck swerves to miss Shadow. She ducks as the truck does a full 180 turn and the back trailer thing spins over top of her. The truck tips over and bursts into flames for some reason. The angry truck driver jumps out runs a few feet away to safely watch his truck burn*
ANGRY TRUCK DRIVER: My truck! My truck! You blew up my truck!
HIEI: *calmly walks up with his hands in his pockets* Did not. What were you hauling, anyway?
ANGRY TRUCK DRIVER: VALUABLE STUFF!!!
HIEI: WHAT?! *vanishes into the fire*
ANGRY TRUCK DRIVER: WHAT ARE YOU, SUICIDAL? *turns to Shadow* Is he suicidal? Are YOU suicidal? Why in the name of everything stupid in this world were you two standing in the middle of the road? And what's his problem? *point to Kurama*
KURAMA: *crawling around on the ground* My eyes! My eyes! Where are my eyes?!
SHADOW: I... uh... his eyes popped out, apparently...
KURAMA: THERE'S ONE! *picks a white blob off the ground and pops it back into it's socket* I can SEE!!! *'Hallelujah' plays in the background*
SHADOW: Ah-ha! *picks up another white blob and shows it to the truck driver* See, his eyes popped out. Kurama! Catch! *throws it at Kurama*
KURAMA: MY EYE!!! *catches it* Oh! It's got something stuck on it!
SHADOW: Pick it off!
KURAMA: Eew! It's gum!
*By this point, the truck driver is having fits on the ground, twitching and throwing up on himself*
HIEI: *walks out of the fire, carrying a huge safe. His shirt is mostly burned off and what's left of it is still in flames* Let's see what's in this! *looks at Kurama* What in the name of everything... What is his problem!?
SHADOW: *calmly* His eyes popped out.
HIEI: *looks freaked out* Okee Dokee then...
KURAMA: Yay! *pops in his eye* It's CLEAN! I can SEE!! *'Hallelujah' plays really loud for a second before there's a loud crack, the music stops, and somebody is heard cursing rather loudly*
HIEI: I could use some help!!! *trying desperatly to pry open the safe with a crowbar*
SHADOW: *glances at him* Well... *squeals* CROWBAR!!!
HIEI: *looks at the crowbar* Oh... CARP!!! Er... I mean... CRAP!!!
SHADOW: *tackles Hiei* CROWBAR!!!
HIEI: OOF!
TRUCK DRIVER: *finally not having fits anymore* My safe! You cannot open it! It's not... uh... safe! It's very dangerous! The contents are deadly! They're a top secret government project! You cannot see-- OOF! ACK! EEK! OW! SHOOT! HELP! AH! OW! OOF! Aaggghhhhh... *falls over*
SHADOW: *proudly holding the crowbar she just used to maul the truck driver* That just makes us want to see it even more.
TRUCK DRIVER: Noooo... *passes out*
HIEI: Okay, just open the safe, Shadow.
SHADOW: OKee Day! *starts beating the heck out of the safe with the crowbar*
HIEI: Little good that's gonna do... *Shadow spins a full 360, purposely slamming Hiei in the head on her way around* OW!!!
SHADOW: *the door falls off the safe, finally* IT'S OPEN!!!
KURAMA: DON'T TOUCH IT!!! *runs over, blocking the view of what's in the safe, and runs away a second later. Once he leaves, the safe is empty*
HIEI: What is it? Hey, you stupid fox! Get yer #*&$ing fox butt back here! HEY!!!
KURAMA: YOU CAN'T SEE IT! YOU'LL DIE!!! *glances at whatever he stole out of the safe*
HIEI: What is it? Money?
KURAMA: No.
HIEI: Some secret deadly weapon?
KURAMA: *glances at it* Huh-uh.
SHADOW: Cheese?
KURAMA: No.
HIEI: A gun?
KURAMA: No.
SHADOW: An armadillo?
KURAMA: *glances at it again* Nnnmmm.... Uh....
SHADOW: AN ARMADILLO? YOU CAN'T HONESTLY TELL ME IT'S AN ARMADILLO?
KURAMA: No. It's not.
SHADOW: Phew. I thought it was.
HIEI: What is it?
KURAMA: Nothing.
SHADOW: How much is it worth?
KURAMA: Uh... Not much.
*Suddenly, Hiei tackles Kurama and they roll around growling at each other for a second before Hiei finally grabs the secret item. He jumps up, proudly holding...*
HIEI: WHAT THE *(%& IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING *%)ING WRONG IN THIS WORLD? WHY THE *^$% WOULD THERE BE A ^&%#ING BOX OF FAKE DOG CRAP IN A SAFE??? AND WHY THE )^%& WOULD YOU HIDE IT FROM US, YOU )*^$ING FOX???
KURAMA: *rolling on the ground laughing*
HIEI: AND WHY THE #&%^ WOULD THAT TRUCK DRIVER TELL US IT'S VALUABLE?!
SHADOW: *louder than any of them* STOP SAYING *&^%, YOU BAKA FIRE DEMON!
HIEI: DON'T CALL ME A BAKA, YOU LOUSY CHILD!!! *throws fake dog crap at her*
SHADOW: YOU THROW ANY MORE FAKE DOG CRAP AT ME AND I'LL MAUL YOU 'TIL EVEN ~I~ DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU!
HIEI: Ooh, scary. *throws more fake dog crap at her*
SHADOW: OH, THAT'S IT, USELESS BOY!!! *makes a flying leap and tackles Hiei, and they start strangling each other*
YUSUKE: KURAMA! KUWABARA'S AWAKE!!!
KURAMA: *laying on the ground with a huge smile on his face*
YUSUKE: Kurama? What the *)^% happened?
KURAMA: A lot. But to make it short, Shadow and Hiei got hit by a truck that was hauling fake dog crap, and now they are killing each other.
SHADOW: Hey wait a second! This fake crap has gold inside it! WE'RE RICH!!!
HIEI: What?! Cool!!
KUWABARA: What's going on? Ow! I'm in pain!
YUSUKE: That's understandable. Hiei threw you off the roof and you landed on those evil man eating roses.
KUWABARA: WHAT? Oh, that's it! *runs over and attempts to maul Hiei, but he dodges, despite the fact that he was being sat on by a gold-crazed, fake- dog-crap-ripping-apart Shadow. Shadow dodges too, since Kuwabara is so slow*
HIEI: You do realize... This means war.
SHADOW: Now Hiei. I know Bugs Bunny is your favorite TV show, but you don't need to go around quoting him...
HIEI: WHAT? THAT STUPID RABBIT IS NOT MY FAVORITE TV SHOW!
SHADOW: *gets an evil smile* That's right. You like to watch Barney.
HIEI: SHADOW, YOU #%*&-ING *%&#^, I DO NOT!!!
SHADOW: Then you sit around reading Playboy magazines.
HIEI: *snorts* That's better than Barney.
SHADOW: Perv.
HIEI: Am not! I prefer to kill people. I don't read and I don't watch TV.
SHADOW: Liar.
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: I remember once you were watching some stupid love story movie or something, and you were crying over it.
HIEI: *turns red* WAS NOT!!!
SHADOW: You watched the Titanic once.
HIEI: Now that movie was just gay.
SHADOW: Then you should have loved it.
HIEI: *smoke starts shooting out his ears* SHADOW!!!
SHADOW: ^_^ Or how about the tiem you were reading--- OOF!!! *slams into the pavement with a crazy fire demon on top of her with his hand over her mouth*
HIEI: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID GIRL! YOU TALK WAY TO MUCH, AND SOME DAY, YOU'RE GONNA TICK OFF THE ~WRONG~ PERSON, AND HE'S GONNA KICK YOUR HEAD IN!!!
SHADOW: *attempts to say something, but Hiei's hand is still clamped over her mouth* Hmph. *gets a look in her eyes that Hiei doesn't like and a second later...*
HIEI: EW, GOD!!! SICK!!! YUCK!!! *leaps up, wiping his hand on his pants* I NEED DISINFECTANT! BLEACH! YUCK! SHE LICKED MY HAND! YUCK!!!
SHADOW: *laughing*
HIEI: *runs back down the street to Shadow's house, goes inside, gets a bucket, fills it full of antibacterial soap, and soaks his hand in it* Yuck yuck ew ew nasty gross sick.
SHADOW: *laughing insanely*
KURAMA: At this rate, we'll never get around to Paintball war...
YUSUKE: Paintball war! I forgot all about it! Let's go! Shadow, get Hiei!
SHADOW: Okee dokee!!! *runs down the street to her house, and comes back a few minutes later half-dragging Hiei by he wrist*
YUSUKE: ON TO PAINTBALL WAR!!!
KURAMA: Rules!!! I have the guns. You can go anywhere, so long as you don't go inside any buildings. You can go into the middle of the city, or into the forest, or anywhere. I'm ref, okay? And when Hiei... er... ~somebody~ wins, you guys better remember it next time you want to blackmail anyone. Now, we start in half an hour, giving you time to do whatever to prepare. Meet at Shadow's house. Go.
*They all run off, with Hiei, Kurama, and Shadow going back to Shadow's house, and Yusuke and Kuwabara going toward the city*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Next chapter- the paintball war begins! I bet you can't wait!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
HIEI: Here goes... *kicks the wall. He bounces back and falls on top of Shadow*
SHADOW: Oof!
HIEI: I told you! It's rubber! You can't blow up rubber with a kick like you can cement bricks or concrete blocks!
SHADOW: Then why were you so mad when I thought of kicking it? You said you felt stupid for not thinking of it, so obviously you thought it would work!
HIEI: Well, I gained a few brain cells and realized it wouldn't!
SHADOW: *mutters something under her breath*
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: Nothing. Could you get off of me?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*Hiei has gotten a 1 square inch hole dug with his fingernail. Shadow's drugs are starting to wear off, and she's laying on the floor nearby twitching and drooling like a typical completely insane person*
HIEI: O_o This is gonna take forever...
SHADOW: *suddenly shakes her head and stands up, promptly falling back over on top of Hiei* Aaagh!!!
HIEI: Shadow! Get off of me! I'm trying to get us out of here, you know!!!
SHADOW: *stares at the wall like somebody who is drunk, squinting and swaying* Kick it.
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: Why don't you kick the wall, genius. It'd be a lot easier.
HIEI: O_O ... -_- I feel stupid now, thank you.
SHADOW: You're welcome.
HIEI: _
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ MOVE FORWARD! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
CHAPITER NYNE
"Switzerland!"
SHADOW: KURAMA'S LOST HIS MIND!!!
YUSUKE: HIT THE DIRT!!!
*Shadow and Yusuke dive to the ground and cover their heads*
KURAMA: *holding a paintball gun* Huh? Idiots... I'm not going to SHOOT you!
SHADOW: He's trying to fool us with reverse psychology! Stay down!
KURAMA: *shoots a splatter of paint and it explodes on the ground right beside Shadow's head* Get up!
SHADOW: OH MY GOD!! HE'S TRYING--- What the... Paint?
HIEI: Yes, genius. It's a paintball gun.
SHADOW: *jumps up, pointing at Kurama* YOU SCARED THE HECK OUT OF ME! HOW DARE YOU?
KURAMA: I dare. Anywho, as I was saying, there is one solution to this. Paintball war! Once Kuwabara regains consciousness, we are going to have a paintball war.
HIEI: And what good will that do? We'll shoot the hell out of each other, then when we're done, they'll go back to trying to blackmail us...
KURAMA: No. Okay, you all shoot the crap out of each other, and when you, er, I mean, whenever one team wins, that will prove that you... er... ~they~ are better than the others, and so that if the others keep blackmailing you... er... ~them~, you... I mean... ~the better team~ will kick the blackmailing losers' butts!
YUSUKE: *jumps up* THAT SHRIMP IS NOT BETTER THAN ME!
HIEI: That's a matter of opinion, Yusuke.
YUSUKE: HEY!
SHADOW: It's debatable. Now get that dolt awake so that we can kick your butts.
KURAMA: I'm ref. Remember? I'm neutral.
SHADOW: See, neutral people do have a use after all!
HIEI: Switzerland!
SHADOW: What?
HIEI: Kurama is Switzerland. He's neutral.
SHADOW: That's nice.
HIEI: Isn't it though?
SHADOW: Not really.
HIEI: Whatever.
^~^~^meanwhile, off to the side on the sidewalk^~^~^
KURAMA: *slapping Kuwabara in his bloody, cut-to-pieces-by-bloodthirsty-man- eating-roses face* Wake up, you dolt! You haven't got the time to be laying around bleeding to death! You have to wage war against those two pyromaniacs over there! *points to Shadow and Hiei, who are still standing in the middle of the road, arguing about Switzerland*
^~^~^Meanwhile, back with Shadow and Hiei in the middle of the road^~^~^
HIEI: What are people from Switzerland called, anywho?
SHADOW: Swedish ... Do they have armadillos in Switzerland?
HIEI: How do you expect me to know?
SHADOW: I think armadillos only live in Africa... or Australia or something... Are there any deserts in Switzerland?
HIEI: I don't know! Isn't Switzerland some place famous for skiing?
SHADOW: Swedish fish come from there.
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: Those little red gummy fish. They're called Swedish fish. They're from Switzerland, right?
HIEI: Somehow I doubt it.
SHADOW: Why?
*Those two, with their sudden obsession with Switzerland, don't notice the mack truck headed towards them*
HIEI: Because...
SHADOW: Maybe Switzerland people are called Swiss. That makes more sense, doesn't it? Cuz there aren't any d's in Switzerland.
HIEI: Yes there is, idiot! The very last letter!
SHADOW: That doesn't count! Cuz Swiss cheese might be from Switzerland if they're called swiss when they're from Switzerland...
HIEI: Your BRAIN is made out of Swiss cheese.
SHADOW: What?
HIEI: Full of holes.
SHADOW: Oh... *pause* Wait! Hey! That's an insult!
HIEI: Delayed reaction...
*by now, the mack truck is merely 50 feet down the road*
MACK TRUCK: HONK HONK!!!
HIEI & SHADOW: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*Shadow and Hiei are both slammed into the front of the truck and sent spinning. Shadow keeps flying while Hiei gains control and does a few flips before landing in a crouch position and sliding back ten feet, still in the path of the truck when he finally comes to a stop on one knee*
HIEI: EEP!
*He stays down on one knee and the truck goes right over top of him*
HIEI: *sigh of relief* Wait... *looks around* Where's Shadow?
SHADOW: OOF!!! *hits the ground about 50 feet ahead of the truck and stands up instantly*
TRUCK BRAKES: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
SHADOW: HOLY HELL!!!
*the truck swerves to miss Shadow. She ducks as the truck does a full 180 turn and the back trailer thing spins over top of her. The truck tips over and bursts into flames for some reason. The angry truck driver jumps out runs a few feet away to safely watch his truck burn*
ANGRY TRUCK DRIVER: My truck! My truck! You blew up my truck!
HIEI: *calmly walks up with his hands in his pockets* Did not. What were you hauling, anyway?
ANGRY TRUCK DRIVER: VALUABLE STUFF!!!
HIEI: WHAT?! *vanishes into the fire*
ANGRY TRUCK DRIVER: WHAT ARE YOU, SUICIDAL? *turns to Shadow* Is he suicidal? Are YOU suicidal? Why in the name of everything stupid in this world were you two standing in the middle of the road? And what's his problem? *point to Kurama*
KURAMA: *crawling around on the ground* My eyes! My eyes! Where are my eyes?!
SHADOW: I... uh... his eyes popped out, apparently...
KURAMA: THERE'S ONE! *picks a white blob off the ground and pops it back into it's socket* I can SEE!!! *'Hallelujah' plays in the background*
SHADOW: Ah-ha! *picks up another white blob and shows it to the truck driver* See, his eyes popped out. Kurama! Catch! *throws it at Kurama*
KURAMA: MY EYE!!! *catches it* Oh! It's got something stuck on it!
SHADOW: Pick it off!
KURAMA: Eew! It's gum!
*By this point, the truck driver is having fits on the ground, twitching and throwing up on himself*
HIEI: *walks out of the fire, carrying a huge safe. His shirt is mostly burned off and what's left of it is still in flames* Let's see what's in this! *looks at Kurama* What in the name of everything... What is his problem!?
SHADOW: *calmly* His eyes popped out.
HIEI: *looks freaked out* Okee Dokee then...
KURAMA: Yay! *pops in his eye* It's CLEAN! I can SEE!! *'Hallelujah' plays really loud for a second before there's a loud crack, the music stops, and somebody is heard cursing rather loudly*
HIEI: I could use some help!!! *trying desperatly to pry open the safe with a crowbar*
SHADOW: *glances at him* Well... *squeals* CROWBAR!!!
HIEI: *looks at the crowbar* Oh... CARP!!! Er... I mean... CRAP!!!
SHADOW: *tackles Hiei* CROWBAR!!!
HIEI: OOF!
TRUCK DRIVER: *finally not having fits anymore* My safe! You cannot open it! It's not... uh... safe! It's very dangerous! The contents are deadly! They're a top secret government project! You cannot see-- OOF! ACK! EEK! OW! SHOOT! HELP! AH! OW! OOF! Aaggghhhhh... *falls over*
SHADOW: *proudly holding the crowbar she just used to maul the truck driver* That just makes us want to see it even more.
TRUCK DRIVER: Noooo... *passes out*
HIEI: Okay, just open the safe, Shadow.
SHADOW: OKee Day! *starts beating the heck out of the safe with the crowbar*
HIEI: Little good that's gonna do... *Shadow spins a full 360, purposely slamming Hiei in the head on her way around* OW!!!
SHADOW: *the door falls off the safe, finally* IT'S OPEN!!!
KURAMA: DON'T TOUCH IT!!! *runs over, blocking the view of what's in the safe, and runs away a second later. Once he leaves, the safe is empty*
HIEI: What is it? Hey, you stupid fox! Get yer #*&$ing fox butt back here! HEY!!!
KURAMA: YOU CAN'T SEE IT! YOU'LL DIE!!! *glances at whatever he stole out of the safe*
HIEI: What is it? Money?
KURAMA: No.
HIEI: Some secret deadly weapon?
KURAMA: *glances at it* Huh-uh.
SHADOW: Cheese?
KURAMA: No.
HIEI: A gun?
KURAMA: No.
SHADOW: An armadillo?
KURAMA: *glances at it again* Nnnmmm.... Uh....
SHADOW: AN ARMADILLO? YOU CAN'T HONESTLY TELL ME IT'S AN ARMADILLO?
KURAMA: No. It's not.
SHADOW: Phew. I thought it was.
HIEI: What is it?
KURAMA: Nothing.
SHADOW: How much is it worth?
KURAMA: Uh... Not much.
*Suddenly, Hiei tackles Kurama and they roll around growling at each other for a second before Hiei finally grabs the secret item. He jumps up, proudly holding...*
HIEI: WHAT THE *(%& IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING *%)ING WRONG IN THIS WORLD? WHY THE *^$% WOULD THERE BE A ^&%#ING BOX OF FAKE DOG CRAP IN A SAFE??? AND WHY THE )^%& WOULD YOU HIDE IT FROM US, YOU )*^$ING FOX???
KURAMA: *rolling on the ground laughing*
HIEI: AND WHY THE #&%^ WOULD THAT TRUCK DRIVER TELL US IT'S VALUABLE?!
SHADOW: *louder than any of them* STOP SAYING *&^%, YOU BAKA FIRE DEMON!
HIEI: DON'T CALL ME A BAKA, YOU LOUSY CHILD!!! *throws fake dog crap at her*
SHADOW: YOU THROW ANY MORE FAKE DOG CRAP AT ME AND I'LL MAUL YOU 'TIL EVEN ~I~ DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU!
HIEI: Ooh, scary. *throws more fake dog crap at her*
SHADOW: OH, THAT'S IT, USELESS BOY!!! *makes a flying leap and tackles Hiei, and they start strangling each other*
YUSUKE: KURAMA! KUWABARA'S AWAKE!!!
KURAMA: *laying on the ground with a huge smile on his face*
YUSUKE: Kurama? What the *)^% happened?
KURAMA: A lot. But to make it short, Shadow and Hiei got hit by a truck that was hauling fake dog crap, and now they are killing each other.
SHADOW: Hey wait a second! This fake crap has gold inside it! WE'RE RICH!!!
HIEI: What?! Cool!!
KUWABARA: What's going on? Ow! I'm in pain!
YUSUKE: That's understandable. Hiei threw you off the roof and you landed on those evil man eating roses.
KUWABARA: WHAT? Oh, that's it! *runs over and attempts to maul Hiei, but he dodges, despite the fact that he was being sat on by a gold-crazed, fake- dog-crap-ripping-apart Shadow. Shadow dodges too, since Kuwabara is so slow*
HIEI: You do realize... This means war.
SHADOW: Now Hiei. I know Bugs Bunny is your favorite TV show, but you don't need to go around quoting him...
HIEI: WHAT? THAT STUPID RABBIT IS NOT MY FAVORITE TV SHOW!
SHADOW: *gets an evil smile* That's right. You like to watch Barney.
HIEI: SHADOW, YOU #%*&-ING *%&#^, I DO NOT!!!
SHADOW: Then you sit around reading Playboy magazines.
HIEI: *snorts* That's better than Barney.
SHADOW: Perv.
HIEI: Am not! I prefer to kill people. I don't read and I don't watch TV.
SHADOW: Liar.
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: I remember once you were watching some stupid love story movie or something, and you were crying over it.
HIEI: *turns red* WAS NOT!!!
SHADOW: You watched the Titanic once.
HIEI: Now that movie was just gay.
SHADOW: Then you should have loved it.
HIEI: *smoke starts shooting out his ears* SHADOW!!!
SHADOW: ^_^ Or how about the tiem you were reading--- OOF!!! *slams into the pavement with a crazy fire demon on top of her with his hand over her mouth*
HIEI: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID GIRL! YOU TALK WAY TO MUCH, AND SOME DAY, YOU'RE GONNA TICK OFF THE ~WRONG~ PERSON, AND HE'S GONNA KICK YOUR HEAD IN!!!
SHADOW: *attempts to say something, but Hiei's hand is still clamped over her mouth* Hmph. *gets a look in her eyes that Hiei doesn't like and a second later...*
HIEI: EW, GOD!!! SICK!!! YUCK!!! *leaps up, wiping his hand on his pants* I NEED DISINFECTANT! BLEACH! YUCK! SHE LICKED MY HAND! YUCK!!!
SHADOW: *laughing*
HIEI: *runs back down the street to Shadow's house, goes inside, gets a bucket, fills it full of antibacterial soap, and soaks his hand in it* Yuck yuck ew ew nasty gross sick.
SHADOW: *laughing insanely*
KURAMA: At this rate, we'll never get around to Paintball war...
YUSUKE: Paintball war! I forgot all about it! Let's go! Shadow, get Hiei!
SHADOW: Okee dokee!!! *runs down the street to her house, and comes back a few minutes later half-dragging Hiei by he wrist*
YUSUKE: ON TO PAINTBALL WAR!!!
KURAMA: Rules!!! I have the guns. You can go anywhere, so long as you don't go inside any buildings. You can go into the middle of the city, or into the forest, or anywhere. I'm ref, okay? And when Hiei... er... ~somebody~ wins, you guys better remember it next time you want to blackmail anyone. Now, we start in half an hour, giving you time to do whatever to prepare. Meet at Shadow's house. Go.
*They all run off, with Hiei, Kurama, and Shadow going back to Shadow's house, and Yusuke and Kuwabara going toward the city*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Next chapter- the paintball war begins! I bet you can't wait!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
HIEI: Here goes... *kicks the wall. He bounces back and falls on top of Shadow*
SHADOW: Oof!
HIEI: I told you! It's rubber! You can't blow up rubber with a kick like you can cement bricks or concrete blocks!
SHADOW: Then why were you so mad when I thought of kicking it? You said you felt stupid for not thinking of it, so obviously you thought it would work!
HIEI: Well, I gained a few brain cells and realized it wouldn't!
SHADOW: *mutters something under her breath*
HIEI: What?
SHADOW: Nothing. Could you get off of me?