Warning: Wakaba, Saya & Yuma. And a Tortured-Kyo. Poor boy, but it's necessary. ^^
Disclaimer: You all know to whom YnM belongs to (not me of course) and the song interspersed in this chapter is Lifehouse's "Somewhere in Between" from the No Name Face album. Yes, I am well aware of the fact that I'm crazy about that band. I can't help it. They write real, meaningful and good songs. And Jason Wade is goddamn cute.
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CHAPTER 5: Between Dreams & Reality
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In Wakaba's living room. . .
Saya: Ne, Wakaba-chan. . .(braiding Wakaba's hair)
Wakaba: Nani? (braiding Yuma's hair)
Saya: Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. . .
Wakaba: Mm.
Saya: So are you giving something to Tera-chan?
Wakaba: (purses lips). . . .
Yuma: Ne. ne, tell us, Wakaba-chan! Are you?
Wakaba: . . .well . . .I baked him something. . .just a small cake
Saya: Really? A small cake huh?
Yuma: Maybe a small, heart-shaped cake?
Wakaba: (blushing like crazy)
Saya & Yuma: We knew it!
Yuma: Lucky, Tera-chan! I wish I had someone to give chocolates or cakes to tomorrow! Ne, Saya-chan?
Saya: Haaaiii! At least we get to give Hisoka-chan that dress. He can't refuse it 'coz it's a gift.
Yuma: Uh-huh. And we might be able to guilt-trip him into wearing it!
Saya & Yuma: (Imagination running rampant. . .) . . . . . . . .Ah!
Half-hour later. . .in Wakaba's bedroom.
Wakaba: Have you guys noticed that Takashi-chan and Kyo-kun are acting a bit different lately?
Saya & Yuma: (Both nodding) Yeah. . .
Wakaba: I wonder what's wrong. . .do you think they had a fight?
Saya: (Shaking her head) No, I don't think so. They don't act like it. It's more like they have something unpleasant to discuss but don't want to.
(Kelly: Never let it be said that minor characters in mangas are insensitive)
Wakaba: Do you. . .think it's about the Akuma case? They never did tell us what happened exactly. Only that Kyo-kun got hurt when fighting Akuma.
Saya & Yuma: (Shrugging)
Yuma: It's a shame don't you think? Tomorrow's Valentine's Day and they won't be able to enjoy it.
Wakaba: (Rolling her eyes) Hisoka-chan and Tsuzuki would. Tsuzuki's been acting all giggly lately. I bet he's planning something naughty.
Saya: Ne. . .do you think we can do something to help them? Kyo-kun and Takashi-chan?
Yuma: I don't think they want to talk to us about their problems if they don't even want to talk to each other about it.
Saya: (Shaking her head) No, no! Maybe we can get them in the right mood to talk about it. . .
Silence. . . .
Wakaba & Yuma: Are you thinking what we're thinking?
Saya: (grinning) I found a red, upholstered love seat the other day in the store room from when Section 10 did that play last year.
Yuma: And I got these red, crushed velvet drapes the other day!
Wakaba: . . .why would you want to buy red crushed velvet drapes?
Yuma: They were too gorgeous and it was on sale.
Saya & Wakaba: We understand perfectly.
Yuma: We'll have to wake up early though if we want everything ready by the time everyone comes in for work.
Saya: You think Tatsumi would mind?
Wakaba: (Giggling) He'll probably find Watari-chan even more attractive instead with the right setting! Maybe we'll even get to see them kiss!
Saya: (Nodding) It's all for their own good. . .
Wakaba & Yuma: Yes, it's our duty to help them as friends.
(Kelly: . . . . . . .)
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I can't be losing sleep over this no I can't
and now I cannot stop pacing
give me a few hours oh I'll have this all sorted out
if my mind would just stop racing
'cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening
The both of them walked to work as usual.
The apartment complex they lived in was only a 15 minute walk from the JuuOhCho building and it's never an unpleasant day to walk in Meifu. Even when it's raining because it breaks up the monotony of endlessly perfect days. Makes you wonder about humans don't you think? We're never satisfied with what we've got. Even when that something is as perfect as can be, we still want something more. We all want something we can't have and when we have it, we don't want it.
Takashi didn't try to come in to the bedroom last night and Kyo didn't know whether he should feel happy or upset about it. He was angry about the whole lasagna thing. Angry at himself actually. If Takashi said he hadn't been spying on him, Kyo believed him. Takashi'd never lie to him. Kyo was the one lying to him. Last night, when he shut himself up in the bedroom, he was being a coward. That's it, pure and simple. Because he didn't want to see the hurt in Takashi's eyes. How could he tell his own husband that what he accused him of was true? Kyo haven't been eating right for a couple of weeks now. He had always managed to find excuses to eat his lunch or dinner before or after Takashi does. Even if he was eating with him, Kyo could never keep the food down. He'd always throw up afterwards in the privacy of a bathroom after making sure nobody was around. He wasn't deliberately doing it, he just can't eat.
Sick isn't it? Shiozaki Kyo; popular boy, kendo captain and ace football player, is a fucking bulimic.
Kyo didn't really use to swear either.
I've changed so much, was his thought as they both walked along in silence. Takashi kept a bit behind and to the side, as though unsure whether his company was welcome. Kyo wasn't sure either. Sometimes, he just wanted the older man to take him in his arms and make him forget. Forget everything. Other times he just wanted to push him away because if he was too close, he'd remember everything.
Everything. . . .
this is over my head but underneath my feet
'cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
and everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
'cause I'm waiting for tonight
been waiting for tomorrow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real just a dream
Kyo bit his lip as another headache started pounding behind his temples. The headaches were becoming a permanent fixture in his life now. He didn't really know what triggered it. He'd be feeling fine one minute and the next, he just wanted to bang his head against the wall to make the pounding stop. Fuck, it's getting worse. He stumbled slightly then and in a flash, Takashi's arms were around him, supporting his weight.
"Are you all right?" Takashi's voice was low and concerned and Kyo felt like crying all of a sudden. Did he mention that he was turning into this big crybaby lately?
Kyo had stiffened a bit as his sudden touch but Takashi didn't pull away. This is Taka, he reminded himself. He won't hurt you. After a second or so, Kyo let himself relax in his embrace.
"It's just a headache," he grumbled, adding a silent I'm sorry.
Takashi squeezed him briefly, apology accepted and I'm sorry too before letting him go. "Think you're up for work?"
Kyo rolled his eyes and shot him a small grin. "I have to; Tatsumi's gotten so riled up with the latest damage report Tsuzuki handed in. I don't think he'll take kindly to me begging off work just for a headache when we're apparently in Death season."
Takashi frowned and continued walking alongside him, shoulders brushing, yet not quite touching. Kyo liked that. It gave him the comfort of Takashi's presence without sending him into possible hysterics.
"Yeah, the rate of names entering the Kiseki is weird. It's getting too fast I think. I wonder if there's something behind it."
"And I think you've been reading too many mystery novels," Kyo teased him and was rewarded with a mock scowl.
"At least I'm reading, thank you very much. Not like somebody who spends all their time playing video games."
He poked Takashi in the ribs and he leapt away with a startled yelp of laughter. "For your information, you prehistoric dinosaur, it's not just any video game. It's PS2, the ultimate in game-playing. And Dante is the ultimate ass-kicking hero."
Takashi sniffed disdainfully and poked him back in retaliation. "I think you kick ass just fine. Plus, you got a nice ass of your own."
"Whatever," Kyo laughed. They had reached the bottom of the steps leading to the main entrance of the JuuOhCho. No sooner had he placed a foot on the first step, Takashi reached out and placed a gently restraining hand on his arm. Kyo looked back questioningly. Takashi went up a step so he was eye to eye with him and leant close. He had removed his hand and Kyo trembled suddenly as he came closer and closer. His breathing had started to quicken and it was not due to excitement or desire. He was panicking. But he held still. He felt, incongruously, like a deer startled in the bright headlights of an approaching car.
Takashi leant in closer till he could see the flecks of gold swimming in hazel-green eyes. Too close, too close! Kyo's mind was screaming at him, screaming at him to do something. Run or fight? Run or fight? Run or fight? Runfightrunfightrun?fight?
Takashi pressed a warm, brief kiss on his forehead.
Kyo blinked stupidly at the suddenness of it all. His harsh breathing practically stuttered to a stop. "Wh-what was that for?"
Takashi smiled and tapped his nose gently. "Happy Valentine's Day, neko-chan."
Va. . .lentine's. . .Day?
"Oh," Kyo stammered. He hadn't started breathing yet however and Takashi ruffled his hair laughingly.
"You can breathe now Kyo."
He did and even managed a smile for Takashi. But the thought of kissing him back felt too much for him to handle now. Definitely too much so he gave Takashi another pathetic smile. "Happy Valentine's Day to you too."
They started back up the steps and Takashi nudged him gently. "I haven't gotten you a gift," he apologized, "So how about I take you out for lunch today?"
Kyo gave him a leery glance and grumbled under his breath. "Yeah, and make sure I finish every bit of food on my plate too."
"Naturally!" Takashi said cheerfully. Kyo could only give him a dirty glare which he ignored. "Hey, have you heard the one when a priest, a rabbi and an atheist walked into a bar and. . ."
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Lesson 2: Flashbacks
A person with Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) and/or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may experience flashbacks during the acute or recovery phase. A flashback is when a person is exposed to some stimuli which triggers an involuntary reaction and can often set off a temporary crisis. Any of the physical senses can trigger a flashback; sight, sound, taste, feel or smell. As little as one and as many as all five of a person's senses may be heightened or irritated in a flashback. Each flashback is unique and is a normal part of recovery for many survivors.
During a flashback, a person may often feel as if they are reliving the trauma that affected them and can exhibit symptoms as if they are currently being attacked. For example, a survivor may feel aches and pains, irritation in the area where they were injured or other symptoms as if they had just been raped. Survivors may also exhibit other behaviors as if they were currently being attacked such as screaming, running, hiding, fighting, shutting down or being completely quiet.
Interjecting current stimuli or removing irritating stimuli may help a person during a flashback. If the smell of roses is making someone flashback, remove roses, rose scented perfumes, etc. from their environment. Or if a person's flashback makes them feel as if they are in a wooded, swampy area, mention the floor, carpet, ceiling, sofa, etc. to them. This type of activity should be verbal and it may not be productive to touch a survivor who is having a flashback.
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Kyo was perhaps ten paces into the staff room before he noticed the difference. He wasn't really looking around as he walked in. In fact, he was looking down actually, lost in thoughts. Takashi had stopped in the hallway to talk with Watari who just came in also. No one else was in yet except for the girls. Watari had hinted that that might bode ill for everyone. . .
Kyo was thinking on how to pacify Taka later actually, when his husband finds him throwing up their Valentine lunch. It's practically a given fact now that he would. Which makes him wonder at times why he even bothered to eat at all. He headed to his and Takashi's desks automatically, taking off his jacket when he noticed the new décor of the staff room.
There was a red, velvet upholstered love seat by the lounge area complete with a red carpet. The usual blinds were replaced by crushed, red velvet drapes. Red paper hearts festooned the ceilings, red roses on every desk and instead of morning coffee, there was some red juice in a big punch bowl.
There was velvet everywhere. And everything was so goddammed red.
Akuma's sitting room was done in red and velvet too. He said he liked it. Kyo had felt as though he was in some high-class brothel.
. . .I told you I can make it better. . .
He could feel his hands again, embracing him close, like how Takashi embraces him. But Akuma is not Taka. No no no, Taka is Taka. He's with him now, right? It's not Akuma he's feeling. Akuma's gone. He's dead. He killed the bastard!
Akuma didn't like it when Kyo didn't listen to him. When he got too mouthy, Akuma had hurt him. Akuma had placed his hand on his chest I can feel it now and pain radiated from that simple touch until it was more Kyo could bear. He felt as though he was being burnt alive. It hurt worse than the pain of his curse which had been killing him in slow degrees. Yes, I remember that pain. It was. . .bad. . why can I feel it again? Akuma's dead.
He's on the floor now, just sitting on the cold tiled floor like a rag doll. Sprawled boneless and just staring straight ahead. Why was he spacing out like this? Takashi had promised to take him out for lunch today for Valentine's. Kyo don't eat much now but Takashi would be happy and Kyo wanted to make him happy. He had to get up. He was going to crease his slacks sitting on the floor like this and he had to look good for Takashi today.
To tell you the truth, I'm quite looking forward to meeting this. . . Taka of yours. . . Would he be as entertaining as you? Would he be as. . .delicious, as you?
Don't you dare touch him!
Why was Taka screaming? Who shouldn't touch him? Kyo had never heard Takashi get so angry before. Kyo hoped he's not angry at him. He'd hate for that to happen. He felt cold all of a sudden. A breeze was kissing his skin and raising goose bumps, prickling his flesh. Kyo looked down and the shirt and slacks he wore this morning was gone. It was replaced by a white yukata why am I wearing a yukata? and now he wasn't sitting on the floor anymore. Instead, he was on a red, velvet sofa.
Well, that's good. At least his clothes won't get wrinkled sitting on the floor. Somebody's pushing him back so that he'd lie down. That was good too. He didn't really feel all that well all of a sudden. His head was aching again and he can't seem to breathe right. Where was Takashi?
Hands touching.
Taking off his yukata.
Fingers caressing him in places he only ever let Takashi caress.
Taka?
Blood-red hair.
Yellow-gold eyes.
Not Taka.
You are so beautiful. Such beauty shouldn't go to waste, ne? It should be tasted and enjoyed. . . by everyone.
God, no. Not this. Please, anything but this. Please please please no he didn't want to be here again. Please!
He was crying now. Wetness trickling down his cheeks his tongue licking me and he could taste salt in his mouth I can taste his blood. But he didn't want to cry. He doesn't cry. He hated crying. Mommy said he shouldn't cry and he promised her he won't.
Why can't he move? Why can't he get away from here? He had to run! He's going to. . .touch him. Don't want him to. Where's Taka? He needed Takashi. Taka? Where are you? Please? Don't leave me here. He's going to hurt me bad. I don't want to hurt.
Somebody. . . .Akuma. . .is. . .tasting. . .him. . .sucking. . .licking. . . .taking him. . .in his. . .mouth. . . .Not Taka. . .only Taka does this. . .but this is not Taka.. . .Akuma. . .Taka? Akuma. Taka, where are you? Akuma. Taka? Akuma. TakaAkumaTakaAkumaTakaAkumaTakaAkumaTakaAkumaTakaAkuma TakaAkuma.
He tried to speak. Couldn't. Can't call for help. But he had to. He tried again, his throat working. He managed to whisper.
"Somebody, help me. Please."
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~to be continued~
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A/N: Bad Kelly.