A/N: Ah, as you read this chapter, you'll notice a marked difference. In other words; I switched back to the third-person POV. Haha! See, I thought I could do first-person POV but after the last chapter. . . .do you have ANY idea how weird it is writing a lemon for a yaoi scene in the first-person????????? I have been scarred for life! My fragile psychological state couldn't take the pressure so I switched! Haha!
Dear god, it took me ages to fix all of the chapters back to the third-person POV. I was dying, dying do you hear me???!!!
Shaynie, Literary Eagle, DeathAngelCreo, nekoMoon-chan: Domo arigato! Hontoni! ^^
Shaynie: Thanks for your 'email'. I'll always remember your words!
Warning: Tats OOC, Taka and Kyo being generally hentai. No lemons though. Happy, Shaynie? Ohohoho!
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda.
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CHAPTER 8: Spy Kids!
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Hisoka's superpowers told him, the minute he walked in to the staffroom, that today will be a day of. . . .blushing.
Yes, blushing.
Why does he say that? Well, let's just say that the emotional equivalent of pheromones was hanging thick in the air. And he placed the blame solely on the two currently giggling together on the couch.
Well, Kyo was giggling. Takashi was making him giggle.
The green-eyed boy made his way over to the coffee machine by the couch and poured himself a mug, quirking an eyebrow at the older man.
"Ohayo, Takashi, Kyo."
Takashi looked up, hair falling into his eyes and gave Hisoka a small smile. "Ohayo, Hisoka."
Kyo just giggled in answer. Probably because he was currently in his chibi-neko incarnation, sitting in Takashi's lap and was being tickled gently.
"Oh, yeah, Hisoka," Takashi started. "I'm really sorry we had to cancel at the last-minute yesterday."
Hisoka waved a hand, "It's okay. I understand that fixing the. . .washing machine can take up a lot of time," he said, with a perfectly straight face.
Takashi nodded solemnly and attacked neko-Kyo with a fresh wave of tickling. "Yes, we had quite a night. Just when we thought we had it fixed, up comes a new problem and bam! There we go again, fixing the bloody thing."
He should have known that the older man was better at this whole innuendo thing than he was. He wasn't sure whether it was wise for him to rise to the innuendo-rich bait or just stand there, blinking like an owl.
Neko-Kyo suddenly stopped his giggling to stare at him while nipping at Takashi's fingers. (Does anyone else besides him find this scenario rather disturbing?)
"Hisoka-chan got some last night!" neko-Kyo singsonged.
How else can Hisoka reply to this blatant announcement of his apparent sexual activity to the whole world?
He spluttered. "K-kyo-san!"
"You know what, Kyo?" Takashi said, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "I think you're absolutely right. Look at the boy. He's simply glowing. Isn't he glowing?"
"Uh-huh!" neko-Kyo nodded happily and nipped lovingly at a finger. "He's glowing!"
"You're glowing beautifully, Hisoka. The color really becomes you. I take it your washing machine also broke down last night?"
He had to admit it, he was a coward. Hey, he's an 18 year old kid who's perpetually stuck at the physical age of 16. Most of his life was spent in a dark cellar with no human company. He was killed horrifically and his husband thinks cake is the best way to start the day. So yes, Hisoka was ill-equipped to deal with two colleagues who are too sex-crazed for their own good and find evil delight in teasing their colleague about their own sex life.
He ran.
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If people find life a tangled web that is an intriguing puzzle waiting for the right kind of person to de-tangle it and make everything clear, he'd love to invite that same maniac to try and de-tangle the web that is death.
Tatsumi Seiichiro was certain he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
But since he woke up next to a beautiful blond, he can't really say that can he? Okay then, he's pretty sure he woke up on a wrong day. He was also pretty sure that other secretaries have it much easier than he did. He was willing to bet Bill Gates' secretary finds each day an invigorating challenge full of fresh possibilities. He was also willing to bet that that Enron guy's secretary thought he/she had the best job in the world (before it all came to spectacular crash that is). Their life was just peachy fine because they never had to be the secretary in the Summoning Division of Japan's Bureau for Processing the Dead. He was damn sure they never had to receive near-weekly damage reports from employees who knows that it's never a good idea to summon your Shikigami when having a spat with a colleague in the library which is full of flammable stuff but do it anyway. He was goddamn sure they never had to be the secretary of a division where everyone has a bloody past and is likely to have a nervous breakdown this week or the next and you're the one expected to patch things up again while keeping the budget above the red line. He was ******* sure they never had to be the secretary of an office where nearly 70% of the people working in it are gay.
He was willing to bet nobody realizes that Tatsumi Seiichiro can bitch with the best of them.
Taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger, Tatsumi wondered why he bothered waking up at all this morning. He blamed this entirely on Yutaka for being such a tease in the mornings.
If anyone is wondering WHY he was particularly bitchy this morning, the answer is right in front of his eyes.
There he was, trying to conduct a serious meeting, and one of his colleague is currently in neko form and cuddling in his husband's lap who seems to be perfectly enjoying himself while his other two colleagues were trying to make out in plain view.
Okay, that was harsh. Tsuzuki is trying to make out. Hisoka's too busy dying (again) of mortification (but not actively doing anything to stop his husband). Do you see what he meant about the whole gay thing?
Yes, yes he's gay too but that doesn't count.
"Kyo-kun," he tried, voice betraying no hint at all of his irritation, "can you please take your own seat?"
"Shan't!"
"Please, Kyo-kun, we're trying to have a mee-"
"Don't wanna! Wanna stay with Taka!"
Great, he's whining now. He gave up. At least they're not making out.
"Tsuzuki-san, can you please stop trying to nibble on Kurosaki-kun's ear and pay attention." It might have been his utter bluntness. It might have been the slight irritation he accidentally let show. It might have been the shadow that's currently poised to strangle the amethyst-eyed man.
Whatever it was, it got Tsuzuki to leave Hisoka alone and the boy shot Tatsumi a grateful-embarrassed look.
"Now that we're all settled down," he glared at Tsuzuki, who was sidling closer to Hisoka, a truly evil look and he meeped. "We have a new-"
"Everyone! My new invention! I call it Johnny-chan! This little beauty will guarantee satisfaction for you and your loved one! Just pre-"
Tatsumi wondered if anyone had a bottle of painkillers available right now.
* * *
"They died and their souls haven't moved on?" Hisoka asked.
Tatsumi nodded his head and gestured at them to open the files he had distributed earlier. "Everyone but the latest actually. . .kind off."
A few eyebrows were raised in question. It was rare to see Tatsumi being less than concise. He qualified further. "The souls have left the body, yes. But it takes the body around a week to finally die out. It's probably because the souls were still tied to the body, with the tie finally weakened and let loose after some time. Then they die."
He could see Takashi frowning faintly as the former doctor took it all in. "And how many have died now?"
"Three." Takashi winced. "The Gushoshin are pretty sure it's the work of a demon. There are traces of higher than normal demon activity in the area. The current hypothesis right now is that the demon possesses the bodies to get their spiritual energy, using it until he runs out thus him needing to find a new victim."
"How long does it take for him to jump from one victim to the next?" Tsuzuki asked, his voice slightly subdued.
Tatsumi shot him a reassuring smile, obviously he was remembering the Saagatanus case. "There's usually a period of three to five days before the demon needs to find a new. . .donor. So far, he's been rather indiscriminate in choosing his victims. There doesn't seem to be a set pattern; no age, personality similarities whatsoever except one."
"That is?" Takashi asked.
Tatsumi coughed. "All of his victims are. . .good looking. Male and female."
"Ah, a demon with a penchant for beauty."
"Yes, well. The victims are either students or teachers at Araiso Private High School."
"Let me guess," Hisoka piped up. "You want us to go undercover." There was a certain note of resignation in his voice and Tatsumi had to bit back a smile.
"Yes," he replied gravely.
"And I have to pose as a student."
"Quite an astute guess Kurosaki-kun."
"And Tsuzuki gets to be the school nurse again."
"Social Science teacher."
"Yeah, sure. Whatever," the boy muttered. "I'm sick and tired of posing as a student."
"It is, nevertheless, your job," Tatsumi announced with an air of finality. "But this time, Kyo-kun and Takashi-san will accompany the two of you. We need to have this case wrapped up as soon as possible to avoid more deaths."
Hisoka looked up, surprised while Kyo let out a squeal of excitement and bounded over to Hisoka, tugging at his jacket and bouncing up and down. "Yay! Can I pose as a student too? Can I Tatsumi-san? Can I can I can I?"
"Of course. Takashi-san will be the school nurse."
"Yay! Hey, Hisoka-chan can be my brother! Right, Hisoka-chan?" neko-Kyo grinned.
"We don't look alike Kyo!" Hisoka said, exasperated.
"That's okay! You can be my stepbrother! And we'll be in the same class, and we'll have lunch together and I'll pulverize anyone who dares to bully my kid brother! And-"
"If I'm your kid brother, we can't be in the same class!"
"Then you'll be my really smart kid brother who skipped a grade!"
"Tsuzuki can you please talk some sense into him??!!"
"I think it's a great idea! And I can be your teacher who wants to have a scandalous affair with his student!"
"Wow! Very smart, Tsuzuki-chan!" Kyo giggled. "And I can have a scandalous affair with the new school nurse, right, Taka???"
Takashi scooped up his little neko and patted the neko's head affectionately. "I'll be happy to have a scandalous affair with you, Kyo my love. It'll be like old times again."
"Hey, remember the time when we were making out in the infirmary and the principal nearly walked in on us?"
Tatsumi was largely ignored as he tried to massage away the headache that was building. "Is it my imagination or is everyone here a bunch of sex maniacs?" he muttered to himself.
"Nah, it's not your imagination, Sei-chan!" Watari laughed. "We're all sex maniacs. You included."
Tatsumi tried to look affronted. "I am not a sex maniac."
Watari just gave him a disbelieving grin. Tatsumi sniffed and poked the blond in the ribs. "Well, I'm a politer sex maniac than they are."
True, true. Hey, wanna test out Johnny-chan tonight?"
". . . . . . . . ."
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"What do you think?" Kyo asked.
Takashi took in the uniform Kyo was wearing; dark slacks, short-sleeved white shirt with a light gray sleeveless v-neck sweater over the shirt. Hands in his pockets, Kyo stood there with a grin, hair falling rakishly in his eyes.
"Well?" he prompted again. Takashi could tell that Kyo was pretty pleased at the chance of posing as a high school student. His death had happened just before he was about to graduate and though he didn't talk about it, Takashi knew Kyo missed those days when he was just a student and he was just the school doctor.
"It's a great uniform," he offered with a smile. "A bit somber but great."
Kyo eyed him and poked his chest, saying, "I can sense a 'but' there."
"But you look too much like Shiozaki Kyo," Takashi said gravely.
"What's the problem then? I am Shiozaki Kyo," Kyo asked, puzzled.
"Yeah, but you're supposed to be Kurosaki Kyo."
"You do realize that I don't get your logic at all."
"Trust me," Takashi assured him. "You need to change your look just a bit. Somebody might remember you from your soccer days and we don't want that happening right? In fact," he tapped his chin thoughtfully, "yep, too much. Too much Shiozaki Kyo. Ah! I can't stand it anymore!"
Without further ado, Takashi jumped him.
"Taka!" Kyo shrieked. "What are y-mmph. . ."
A few minutes later. . .
"How about this?"
Deciding to humour the man, Kyo had changed his look. He had slicked back his hair in the nerdiest possible style and even had glasses perched on his nose. To complete the transformation, he even had a couple of pens tucked in his pocket.
Takashi shook his head morosely.
"Now what?" Kyo demanded.
"You look too much like Clark Kent. Somebody will realize that underneath that studious exterior, there's this sex god just waiting to pop out!"
Kyo blinked. "Sex god?"
"Ah! I can't take it anymore!"
"Taka! Stop it! I-mmph. . . ."
Again, a few minutes later. . . .
"Don't you dare tell me I look like a sex god," Kyo threatened. He had lost the glasses and the sweater even. His shirt was now hanging out and his hair had been spiked up. The school rebel look.
"You look like. . .James Dean!" Takashi offered brightly.
"Rea~lly?" Kyo drawled.
"Yeah, in fact, he's a sex god too!"
"Matsumada Takashi, will you please stop trying to make out with me! Taka!-mmph. . ."
* * *
Hisoka and Tsuzuki had been waiting in the living room for quite some time. The four of them had promised to go down together to check in the hotel room Tatsumi had booked for them. Kyo and Hisoka both had gotten their uniforms and while Hisoka was more than willing to put off trying it out, Takashi had insisted on seeing how Kyo looked in them. The two had gone into the bedroom for Kyo to try it out and suspicious sounds had floated out into the living room. . .there had been the occasional crashes, yells of "Stop it! Taka!" and the odd silences that stretched for a few minutes at least. . .
They sweatdropped.
A little later, the bedroom door finally opened and Kyo stalked out, with a trussed up, chibified and maniacally giggling Takashi.
At their questioning looks, Kyo said, "Don't ask."
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~to be continued~
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A/N: Hmm, a bit of an abrupt ending to this chapter but who cares? I don't. ^__^;;; *giggle* oh, the 'Johnny-chan' bit was a shameless reference to Kouri's Tokyo Babylon/X fic "Reversal". Go read it, it's great! My favourite of hers is a Yami no Matsuei/X crossover, called "Atropos". Fantastic stuff. Her best portrayal of Seishirou yet.
In case you did notice, yeah, I got the name Araiso Private High School from Wild Adapter/Executive Committee. Do you think I should include Kubo-chan and Tokitou-chan in the case as well?