I never meant to…
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!
A/n: This is a story really close to home for me, so I'd be pleased if no one flamed, as its kind of well its based on what's happened to me, I was advised to do this by my psychotherapist, but I don't have to see him anymore so I could stop writing this but I find it helps a considerable amount.
Now I have to thank Herbie, Mione-n-Ron4ever and everyone else who have reviewed and said such encouraging things.
I would also like to thank coolchick207 for the extremely kind invitation of e-mailing her to talk about all this stuff. It's really kind of you to do that and I may take you up on the offer.
In answer to one of Herbie's questions is Ron based on any of my mates, yes he is. He is based on 5of them Steph, Manjit, Claire, Jennifer and Emma all of whom I owe a great deal of thanks to, for all there support and their friendship, and not giving up on me when I tried to push them away
I'd also like to make an apology for this really late update, O.K I finished my little thing on with the story.
Ron could feel McGonagall's hand gently steering him towards her office. He wanted to resist the pushing, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. This was the chance he'd been looking for. This was his chance to make someone else aware of what was happening. He had to do it for Hermione.
Once they reached McGonagall's office she spoke her password, and Ron slowly followed her in. He began to have second thoughts over his decision; maybe he should keep it to himself.
"Mr Weasley, do sit down and close the door, it's letting a draught in." McGonagall had made herself comfortable in a red squashy armchair that closely resembled those present in the Gryffindor common room. Ron moved slowly towards the matching unoccupied armchair, and slowly lowered himself into it. "Is there anything you wish to tell me, Mr Weasley?" Ron looked to the floor when she asked the question, he was still torn between what he should do.
One half of him wanted to tell Professor McGonagall the truth, he wanted to tell her everything from the beginning, not only would he be helping Hermione out of this situation, but also himself. He could tell someone else this secret, he wouldn't be the only one to handle this, and someone else would keep an eye on her too, it wouldn't all be left down to him. The other half of him however couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't betray Hermione, what would she do if she ever found out? She'd never forgive him, let alone trust him again. She'd already warned him about that in her letters. No he couldn't do it to her, he couldn't risk his friendship with her. She'd never understand that he'd only be trying to help.
"Mr Weasley, Mr Weasley!" Professor McGonagall's voice had become stern by the time she had called his name for the second time. The severity of her voice brought Ron back to reality, and he lifted hi head to look at her.
"Sorry Professor I was just thinking about something." Ron explained quietly
"Is everything alright Ron?" McGonagall's voice held a sincere note of concern, and the look on her face added to this.
"Yes Professor everything's fine, that's why I don't really understand why you called me in her." Ron plastered a fake smile on his face, and that smile was greeted with a suspicious stare.
"Well I wanted to talk to you about Miss Granger." Ron bowed his head at the sound of Hermione's name this action aroused greater suspicion.
"What about her?"
"When she bumped into me, she seemed to be in a great amount of distress, considering you followed her not long after, I wondered if you could explain what had happened to put her in that sort of state?" McGonagall lifted her legs onto the chair, and tucked them underneath her, while Ron once again had found an interesting spot on the floor that was far more interesting than McGonagall. He shifted around in his chair obviously either uncomfortable in the chair or with the question that had just been asked. "Do I take your behaviour, and the look on your face that you do indeed know what happened to Miss Granger, what has upset her so much?" Ron slowly nodded his head in answer to her question. McGonagall continued to look at him expecting a more explanatory answered but all she received was silence." Would you like to explain what happened?" Ron shook his head, his decision made quicker than before, McGonagall opened her mouth to continue her inquisition not expecting his answer o be extended…
"I can't tell you, she made me promise!" Ron's voice sounded strained, and when he raised his head to look at McGonagall she could see the confliction in his eyes. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn't and wouldn't because of his strong friendship with the girl in question.
"Well how about a hint?" Once again Ron shook his head, though more hesitantly than before.
"I'm so sorry, I want to tell you I really do, but I can't!" His eyes were pleading with her to stop the questioning, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Something to upset both of her pupils so much must have been bad, and in order to find out what she had to persist with her questioning.
Ron's eyes betrayed him; they gave away the fact that he really did want to tell her in order to get some help
Meanwhile Ron was having his own conflict inside his mind. The half of him that wanted and needed to tell McGonagall everything was slowly beating his other half. One more question and he knew he would break. He couldn't do it anymore; Hermione needed help, not just the help of a friend, but also professional help.
"Mr Weasley if there is a serious problem concerning either you or Miss Granger then I need to know about it in order to help you. It was obvious fro miss Granger's distress that something has occurred and it seems to me that you and Miss Granger are the only ones to know." McGonagall's voice was becoming impatient, and her frustration evident.
"I'm sorry Professor, but I don't know what to do, I don't know what's best for Hermione!"
"Mr Weasley, if it is this serious then I would think that t would only be right for you to tell me, and I'm sure Miss Granger would see it that way too." Her voice had softened, and was once again full of concern. Ron nodded his head in reply to her and began his explanation.
"Professor I think that Hermione's suffering from an eating disorder."
It was obvious from the look on McGonagall's face that the answer she had just received was certainly not the one she had been expecting. It took her around a minute to let it sink in, while Ron sat in silence, finding the whole situation rather uncomfortable.
"Well…err… when did you find this out?" McGonagall couldn't seem to find the words to form a question.
"Well I found out around October I think, I started writing her letters about it, but she's never told me how long its been going on for, and I've never thought to ask."
"Is there anything else? Do you know what type of eating disorder it might be?" Her questioning was becoming stronger now that the problem had sunk in properly. She needed to find out as many facts as was possible in order to confront Hermione.
"Well I think she suffering from both anorexia and bulimia. Sometimes she won't eat a proper meal for a week, just surviving on fruit really, oh and the occasional binge on chocolate. When she does eat a meal though she makes frequent visits to the toilets." Ron told her, concern was written all over McGonagall's face as she learned of the number of days the young girl would starve herself for.
"What caused her upset tonight?"
"Well I'd agreed to go running with her on the pretence that she would begin to eat. I found out she'd lied to me again when she nearly fainted. After that we had an argument and she stormed off." McGonagall nodded her head in understanding.
"Well Mr Weasley I will have to have a talk with Miss Granger…"
"What?! No you can't, she'll kill me! I'm the only one who's supposed to know, and if she finds out I've told someone then she'll never speak to me again!" Ron's voice was full of panic, and McGonagall's eyes were full of pity for him. The poor boy was trying to help his friend, but she wouldn't see it that way.
"Mr Weasley, I can't keep this quiet for you. There is a a serious problem concerning one of my pupils, and now that I know about it, I need to do something about it."
"Please Professor isn't there another way, when you talk to Hermione the finger will be pointing at me as to who told you, I mean I'm the only one who knows." Ron's eyes pleaded with her to find another way to solve the problem.
"Ok, I'll try my best to find another way around this that won't implicate you. You mentioned something about letters between the two of you, am I correct in assuming you kept these letters?"
"Yeah, all of them, right from the beginning, but I'm not sure…" McGonagall cut him off from finishing his sentence.
"What would happen if a letter was to fall out of its place while an house elf was cleaning you room. They just happened to read the letter, and thought out of concern for the person involved that they should bring it to me." Ron's eyes widened at her suggestion.
"Then she couldn't blame me for telling anyone because it would be an accident, and that means she'd talk to me, and be able to get help." McGonagall nodded her head,
"So does that plan sound alright to you?" Ron quickly nodded his head. "Good well I suggest you get back to the common room Mr Weasley, Miss Granger could get suspicious as to where you've been." Ron once again nodded his head.
"Thanks Professor." McGonagall just smiled at him a he walked out of her door, once he left she strode over to the fireplace, and through some powder into it, the flames turned green, and she called,
"Albus, I need to talk to you about Miss Granger."
A/n: Ok that's all for this chapter, next one will be McGonagall and Dunbledore's conversation, and focus on Hermione more. It should be quicker update this time because I'm on half term, thank God, but I have exams coming up, so things will slow down with the updating thing.
Any way please review; I'm always chuffed to see people's comments.