When Cloud Meets Fighter
In an empty field populated with only a few trees, two-dimensional portals appear. Out of one pops out a spiky hared blonde guy with a big sword on his back. The other portal spits out this blocky person with red hair and red armor.
Cloud: Oi, me head.
Fighter: Why did Black Mage fire his Level 9 Hadoken blast at me?
Cloud: Who are you?
Fighter: Who are you?
Cloud: I asked you first.
Fighter: Well, I've got a big sword. **Takes out one of his 8-bit swords**
Cloud: Well, I've got a bigger sword. **Pulls the Buster Blade off his back.**
Fighter: Touché. My name's Fighter. **Puts his sword away.**
Cloud: My name's Cloud. **Puts Buster Sword away**
Fighter: Cloud? What kind of name is Cloud?
Cloud: Well, what kind of name is Fighter?
Fighter: Touché again.
Cloud: Any idea why we're here?
Fighter: Nope. You?
Cloud: Not a f*#^%!) clue.
Fighter: What were you doing before you got brought here?
Cloud: Well, I was playing with some fireworks, when someone summoned Leviathan. The pretty lights got swirled in with the water, and then. I was here.
Fighter: Well, I was telling my friend, Black Mage, about my sword-chucks during our quest for the lost Armoire of Invincibility when he used his most powerful spell on me. I think he was aiming at a monster that was about to attack me. So. Got a girlfriend back home?
Cloud: I'm not sure. I did like this girl who always wore pink, but she died. There's another girl that I think really likes me, but I'm not sure I feel the same way about her.
Fighter: We've only seen one girl in our entire travels. Her name is White Mage. She's really nice to everyone. Well, everyone except for Black Mage. Whenever Black Mage tries to hit on her, she usually hits him with a mallet.
Cloud; Ah, yes. Fear the power of women with mallets, for they can rule a world with them.
Fighter: I like swords.
Cloud: Really? So do I!
Fighter; Cool! Do you know any cool techniques to finish bad guys off with?
Cloud: Do I! See that tree over there? **Points to nearest tree** Watch this! **Runs at tree, takes out Buster Sword, and performs the Omnislash, cutting the tree into dozens of logs.** How was that?
Fighter: Not bad. Not bad. But watch this! **Takes out 2 of his 8-Bit swords, and begins running at a tree closest to him.** Two Fisted Monkey Style Attack! **begins slashing madly at the tree, and stops after a minute of slashes. The tree, however, appears to be intact.**
Cloud: You missed!
Fighter: Or did I? **Turns around, and snaps his fingers. The tree explodes into a billion toothpicks and falls into a wooden box made out of the wood from the same tree.**
Cloud: Cool! One question, though.
Fighter: Yes?
Cloud: 'Two Fisted Monkey Style Attack?'
Fighter: Meh.
Suddenly, a blocky dimensional portal appears, and sucks the two of them into it. They reappear and land on the ground of an 8-Bit forest. Standing there, are Black Mage, Red Mage, Thief, Black Belt, and White Mage.
Red Mage (RM): Yes! My rescue-Fighter throw worked! And, he brought along a friend.
Cloud: Umm. Who are you guys?
Fighter: Cloud, these are my friends I was telling you about.
Black Mage (BM): **Talking quietly** Damn, he's back. I can't believe that I wasted my Hadoken blast on him. I should have just stabbed him 49 times in the back with my two rusted knives.
Thief: BM, did you say something?
BM: Huh? No, no. I didn't say nothing.
Fighter: Guys, I'd like for you to meet my new friend, Cloud.
Cloud: Hello.
Fighter: He likes swords, too.
BM: Great, another Fighter to listen too.
Fighter: So, did you guys find the Armoire of Invincibility while I was gone?
Thief: No, we just talked until RM threw his rescue-Fighter dice. Besides, we're looking for the Earth Orb, not the Armoire of Invincibility.
Black Belt (BB): What do you need that for?
Thief: We're going to use it's earthly powers to restore the fertility of the earth back to normal, before the planet rots away into nothing.
Cloud: You guys need an Earth Orb? Well, would this work? **Reaches into a pocket, and pulls out a green materia.**
BM: What's that?
Cloud: This? This is the Contain materia. Not only is it green and round, it can cause natural disasters.
Thief: And how is THAT going to help us?
Cloud: I dunno.
Suddenly, BM jumps at Cloud and grabs the materia.
BM: HA HAH HA! With this materia-thingie, I will control Mother Nature herself!
White Mage (WM): BB, why don't you go and stop him?
BB: Why should I? Because I'm too busy practicing my punching. **Begins to punch nothing but the air.**
WM: Saints preserve us. We are so going to die.
BM: I will destroy everyone on this planet. Except for WM, of course.
WM: Why not kill me?
BM: I'm going to need you to help me repopulate the world with our Gray Mage babies.
WM: Ewe. I'd never do THAT with you even if you were the last male person in the universe.
BM: You may want to rethink that statement, after I do this!
The materia begins to glow, and storm clouds suddenly appear out of nowhere. Thunder and lighting are seen and heard, and the wind begins to blow harder.
BM: **Evil laughing**
Fighter: **Walks up to BM grabs the materia, and tosses it back to Cloud, who catches it and puts it away.**
The storm clouds disappear, and everything returns to as it was before BM tried to screw it all up.
BM: But. But. Why?
Thief: Let me ask you something of a hypothetical question, Black Mage. If a Fighter is sent to another universe thanks to a Hadoken, returns to this universe with a Cloud who has several strong spells, gets the spells stolen by a Black Mage, who tries to cast the strong spells, then losses the said spells thanks to said Fighter, do you cry?
BM: Yes. Yes I do.
Cloud: Hey, Fighter. Does BM do this everyday?
Fighter: Yeah, basically.
WM: Hey, BM. Can you come over here for a minute?
BM: Sure, my honey bun. **Walks over to WM.**
WM: Let me just say one thing to you.
BM's thought: ~Yes! She's gonna tell me she loves me and wants me to do many naughty things to her!~
WM: **Takes out her mallet, and smashes BM with it, who goes flying into a tree. He hits the tree, and falls face-first down into the ground, leaving an indent of where he hit in the tree.** If you ever try that again, or call me honey bun, I'll have to temporarily forget my oath as a white mage.
BM: Sure you **Coughs up blood and a tooth** will.
Suddenly, a green dimensional portal appears. On the opposite side of it, Tifa and Barret's face appear.**
Barret: Finally! We found him!
Tifa: Come back home, Cloud! It's dinnertime!
Cloud: Oh boy, dinner1 **Looks at Fighter.** Well, now we must part our ways.
Fighter: See you later?
Cloud: You know it! **Runs into the portal, and disappears with it.**
BM: NO! My Contain materia!
Fighter: Come on, BM. There's always another chance to get strong spells.
Thief: OK, team! Let's continue on with this Light Warrior stitch until we have all of the money in the world!
The 6 continue on with their journey. Meanwhile, back in the world of FF7.
Tifa: Hey, Cloud. Who were those people, and why were they so blocky?
Cloud: They are my new friends, and they exist off of an 8-bit emulation system, unlike our 64-bit emulation system.
Barret: Huh? What the hell did you say?
Cloud: I like swords.
Tifa and Barret: Nevermind.
The End (Or is it?) BM: It better be, or else I'll Hadoken your ass into next week!
Yes, this is indeed. The End
In an empty field populated with only a few trees, two-dimensional portals appear. Out of one pops out a spiky hared blonde guy with a big sword on his back. The other portal spits out this blocky person with red hair and red armor.
Cloud: Oi, me head.
Fighter: Why did Black Mage fire his Level 9 Hadoken blast at me?
Cloud: Who are you?
Fighter: Who are you?
Cloud: I asked you first.
Fighter: Well, I've got a big sword. **Takes out one of his 8-bit swords**
Cloud: Well, I've got a bigger sword. **Pulls the Buster Blade off his back.**
Fighter: Touché. My name's Fighter. **Puts his sword away.**
Cloud: My name's Cloud. **Puts Buster Sword away**
Fighter: Cloud? What kind of name is Cloud?
Cloud: Well, what kind of name is Fighter?
Fighter: Touché again.
Cloud: Any idea why we're here?
Fighter: Nope. You?
Cloud: Not a f*#^%!) clue.
Fighter: What were you doing before you got brought here?
Cloud: Well, I was playing with some fireworks, when someone summoned Leviathan. The pretty lights got swirled in with the water, and then. I was here.
Fighter: Well, I was telling my friend, Black Mage, about my sword-chucks during our quest for the lost Armoire of Invincibility when he used his most powerful spell on me. I think he was aiming at a monster that was about to attack me. So. Got a girlfriend back home?
Cloud: I'm not sure. I did like this girl who always wore pink, but she died. There's another girl that I think really likes me, but I'm not sure I feel the same way about her.
Fighter: We've only seen one girl in our entire travels. Her name is White Mage. She's really nice to everyone. Well, everyone except for Black Mage. Whenever Black Mage tries to hit on her, she usually hits him with a mallet.
Cloud; Ah, yes. Fear the power of women with mallets, for they can rule a world with them.
Fighter: I like swords.
Cloud: Really? So do I!
Fighter; Cool! Do you know any cool techniques to finish bad guys off with?
Cloud: Do I! See that tree over there? **Points to nearest tree** Watch this! **Runs at tree, takes out Buster Sword, and performs the Omnislash, cutting the tree into dozens of logs.** How was that?
Fighter: Not bad. Not bad. But watch this! **Takes out 2 of his 8-Bit swords, and begins running at a tree closest to him.** Two Fisted Monkey Style Attack! **begins slashing madly at the tree, and stops after a minute of slashes. The tree, however, appears to be intact.**
Cloud: You missed!
Fighter: Or did I? **Turns around, and snaps his fingers. The tree explodes into a billion toothpicks and falls into a wooden box made out of the wood from the same tree.**
Cloud: Cool! One question, though.
Fighter: Yes?
Cloud: 'Two Fisted Monkey Style Attack?'
Fighter: Meh.
Suddenly, a blocky dimensional portal appears, and sucks the two of them into it. They reappear and land on the ground of an 8-Bit forest. Standing there, are Black Mage, Red Mage, Thief, Black Belt, and White Mage.
Red Mage (RM): Yes! My rescue-Fighter throw worked! And, he brought along a friend.
Cloud: Umm. Who are you guys?
Fighter: Cloud, these are my friends I was telling you about.
Black Mage (BM): **Talking quietly** Damn, he's back. I can't believe that I wasted my Hadoken blast on him. I should have just stabbed him 49 times in the back with my two rusted knives.
Thief: BM, did you say something?
BM: Huh? No, no. I didn't say nothing.
Fighter: Guys, I'd like for you to meet my new friend, Cloud.
Cloud: Hello.
Fighter: He likes swords, too.
BM: Great, another Fighter to listen too.
Fighter: So, did you guys find the Armoire of Invincibility while I was gone?
Thief: No, we just talked until RM threw his rescue-Fighter dice. Besides, we're looking for the Earth Orb, not the Armoire of Invincibility.
Black Belt (BB): What do you need that for?
Thief: We're going to use it's earthly powers to restore the fertility of the earth back to normal, before the planet rots away into nothing.
Cloud: You guys need an Earth Orb? Well, would this work? **Reaches into a pocket, and pulls out a green materia.**
BM: What's that?
Cloud: This? This is the Contain materia. Not only is it green and round, it can cause natural disasters.
Thief: And how is THAT going to help us?
Cloud: I dunno.
Suddenly, BM jumps at Cloud and grabs the materia.
BM: HA HAH HA! With this materia-thingie, I will control Mother Nature herself!
White Mage (WM): BB, why don't you go and stop him?
BB: Why should I? Because I'm too busy practicing my punching. **Begins to punch nothing but the air.**
WM: Saints preserve us. We are so going to die.
BM: I will destroy everyone on this planet. Except for WM, of course.
WM: Why not kill me?
BM: I'm going to need you to help me repopulate the world with our Gray Mage babies.
WM: Ewe. I'd never do THAT with you even if you were the last male person in the universe.
BM: You may want to rethink that statement, after I do this!
The materia begins to glow, and storm clouds suddenly appear out of nowhere. Thunder and lighting are seen and heard, and the wind begins to blow harder.
BM: **Evil laughing**
Fighter: **Walks up to BM grabs the materia, and tosses it back to Cloud, who catches it and puts it away.**
The storm clouds disappear, and everything returns to as it was before BM tried to screw it all up.
BM: But. But. Why?
Thief: Let me ask you something of a hypothetical question, Black Mage. If a Fighter is sent to another universe thanks to a Hadoken, returns to this universe with a Cloud who has several strong spells, gets the spells stolen by a Black Mage, who tries to cast the strong spells, then losses the said spells thanks to said Fighter, do you cry?
BM: Yes. Yes I do.
Cloud: Hey, Fighter. Does BM do this everyday?
Fighter: Yeah, basically.
WM: Hey, BM. Can you come over here for a minute?
BM: Sure, my honey bun. **Walks over to WM.**
WM: Let me just say one thing to you.
BM's thought: ~Yes! She's gonna tell me she loves me and wants me to do many naughty things to her!~
WM: **Takes out her mallet, and smashes BM with it, who goes flying into a tree. He hits the tree, and falls face-first down into the ground, leaving an indent of where he hit in the tree.** If you ever try that again, or call me honey bun, I'll have to temporarily forget my oath as a white mage.
BM: Sure you **Coughs up blood and a tooth** will.
Suddenly, a green dimensional portal appears. On the opposite side of it, Tifa and Barret's face appear.**
Barret: Finally! We found him!
Tifa: Come back home, Cloud! It's dinnertime!
Cloud: Oh boy, dinner1 **Looks at Fighter.** Well, now we must part our ways.
Fighter: See you later?
Cloud: You know it! **Runs into the portal, and disappears with it.**
BM: NO! My Contain materia!
Fighter: Come on, BM. There's always another chance to get strong spells.
Thief: OK, team! Let's continue on with this Light Warrior stitch until we have all of the money in the world!
The 6 continue on with their journey. Meanwhile, back in the world of FF7.
Tifa: Hey, Cloud. Who were those people, and why were they so blocky?
Cloud: They are my new friends, and they exist off of an 8-bit emulation system, unlike our 64-bit emulation system.
Barret: Huh? What the hell did you say?
Cloud: I like swords.
Tifa and Barret: Nevermind.
The End (Or is it?) BM: It better be, or else I'll Hadoken your ass into next week!
Yes, this is indeed. The End