Author's note: Here's Chapter two--much smuttier than Chapter one. This, too, may look familiar, like you read it in a dream but when it was edited it became much, much, better.

Disclaimer: as always, unfortunately, not mine.

Chapter Two: Lull before the storm

Seth and Ryan sat side by side on the floor in front of the TV, playing Seth's latest Tony Hawk: Pro Skater game. As they played, Seth kept glancing over at Ryan, who kept his eyes resolutely on the screen. Finally, Seth took a deep breath, licked his lips, and said, in what he hoped was an appropriately casual voice, "So, dude, when does Marissa get back from the, um, the place?"

"It's called rehab, Seth, and she gets back tomorrow."

"Ah. Tomorrow. Yeah, that's soon. I mean, that's awesome, dude. For you. And for me too, I guess. I like Marissa. She's, you know, different from what I thought and so yeah, that'll be great, her being back and all, and, we can do stuff. I mean, you, you and her can, you know, be...do... stuff..." he trailed off uncertainly, blushed, and returned his eyes to the screen, only to witness Ryan pull a maneuver that sent him careening into a wall. The screen flashed Game Over.

Ryan put down his controller, turned to the other boy and said, "Seth. What are you trying to say?"

Brown eyes met blue for just a moment, before sliding away. "I just, I mean...it's great she's coming back, is all." He looked down at his hands, still clutching the controller, and wished that he hadn't started this conversation, wished that the Earth would split and swallow him whole, wished, for the first time ever, that he was as far away from Ryan as was humanly possible. But he wasn't; in fact, he was so close he could detect the odor of fresh laundry coming from Ryan's t-shirt, and the faint hint of peppermint soap emanating from Ryan's skin.

Ryan put his hands over Seth's, willing him to put down the controller. At last Seth's eyes swept up to meet Ryan's. Ryan could see the incipient pain, the resignation, and, heartbreakingly, the hope lurking there. "Are you afraid things are going to change? Between you and me? Is that it?"

"Well, I mean...you and her, you've got chemistry, you know, and she's a girl and I would totally understand if you were all like, about girls...uh, they're obviously all about you, you know, and if you wanted her...I wouldn't feel weird or anything. I know you, like, like me as a friend and a brother and stuff, and there's Summer, and that Anna, remember her? She'll be back soon and she seemed to dig me and she's cool and pretty and, you know, maybe I'd have a chance with her so I've got a lot of options, a lot of irons in the fire, if you will, so whatever we did you don't have to feel like you, like, owe me or anyth--"

Ryan reached a hand up and pressed his fingers lightly against Seth's lips, then slid his hand around until he was cupping Seth's cheek with his hand, while his thumb gently stroked Seth's imperceptibly trembling lower lip. He brought his mouth close to Seth's and whispered, "Do you want to stop this?" Seth leaned into Ryan's hand and mutely shook his head. "Or this?" Ryan breathed, as he nipped gently at the lip under his thumb.

"I, uh, no..."

"Or this?" outlining Seth's lips delicately with his tongue. A small, wordless whimper was the response as Ryan finally brought his mouth down on Seth's, kissing him gently, tongue probing and gaining entry with ease. Ryan kissed him leisurely, languidly, and thoroughly, both his hands now cupping Seth's face. When Ryan finally drew back a little, Seth's eyes opened and he stared at Ryan.

"Dude, you've...we've never kissed before...I mean, I wanted to, but I thought you just wanted the..." making the universal gesture for a handjob.

"I want a lot of things, Seth. Kissing you is just one of them. This is another one", he continued, laying Seth down on the floor and straddling him. "And this", lifting Seth's t-shirt up and sliding his hands up Seth's sides. "And this", dipping his head to lap and gently nuzzle Seth's exposed nipple, causing Seth to shiver with desire. Ryan lifted his leg and shifted until he was stretched out on the floor beside Seth, running his fingers up and down the other boy's torso. They locked eyes for a minute, and Ryan said softly, "This is what I want, Seth", leaning over and running his tongue down to the waistband of Seth's jeans while simultaneously releasing Seth's erection from them.

When Ryan's mouth enveloped him, it was like nothing that had ever happened to Seth. He groaned and tried to stop himself from clutching Ryan's head convulsively, opting instead to roughly stroke his fingers through Ryan's hair. Ryan's tongue and lips were doing things to him that no amount of clandestine internet porn viewing and his own hand could ever have prepared him for. It felt, for lack of a better word, *awesome*, and as much as he wanted to have that tongue and those lips do what they were doing forever, he knew he was close to orgasm. He opened his mouth to speak, and managed to croak out, "Dude, I...I'm close...do you want to stop...?"

Ryan shook his head wordlessly, his hair brushing Seth's thighs with the movement, and then continued on. Seth let out a muted shout as he came, his body going rigid and then boneless. This was leagues, even miles beyond anything Seth had ever done with Ryan, and as Ryan slid back up his body, coming to rest with his head in the hollow of Seth's neck and his hand lying loosely on Seth's hip, his fear returned. Was this the proverbial kiss-off, the pity fuck, the prelude to Ryan telling him that what he really, really wanted was Marissa, it's been fun but I've got to move on, we'll always have Paris, bro, but that's in the past now?

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?" said the other boy, his lips pressed against Seth's neck.

"What...why did you just do that? Don't get me wrong, I...it was amazing, but..." but what does it mean? he wanted to ask, but Seth suddenly realized he if he was too scared to ask the question he certainly wasn't prepared for any answer that Ryan might give him.

"Seth. I wanted to, I wanted you. That's generally why people give other people blow jobs, you know," Ryan said, his mouth quirking into a smile that Seth could feel against his neck.

Seth was too afraid not to leave it at that, for now.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later, after Seth had gone back up to the house, Ryan lay in the darkened pool house trying to come to terms with the situation. He was an expert at reading people, and besides, Seth was so transparent; Ryan knew very well what he was trying to ask. Do you love me? Will you leave me? What will happen to us? Good questions, all of them, and Ryan hadn't a clue as to how to answer them