I know, it took me a while to write this. But hay, I had to play with my Severus Sim. *Evil Grin*

I have no one to Bata for me; they are all sleep. So I hope you do not mind the spelling and what not.

To everyone who reviewed: "You guys kick ass!" ^_^

Harry Potter and the Pissed Off P.M.

Chapter 2:

Strawberry Soda-Potion

Hermione poked her head through the crack in the door as she heard the Headmaster's call. Sitting behind his desk with—Hermione noted—a child in his arms, he waved them in. The second thing she noted was the irritated looking potion professor.

Keeping her foot falls light, unlike Ron who stomped his way to his seat, Hermione plopped sadly in her chair, thinking about her lost best friend. "Would you or Ron like tea or a lemon drop?" Albus asked with a mix of amused sadness in his bright blues.

"No. Thanks." Ron mumbled as Hermione shook her head.

"Now children, what can I help you with?"

"We thought—" Hermione began.

"That we should tell you what happened in class today, Headmaster." Ron finished.

"I am afraid," The headmaster of Hogwarts stared as he sipped on his and Baby Harry's tea. "That Severus here has already told me what has happened to Mister Potter, but he told me only what he saw. I would like to hear your view on the matter." The baby in Albus's arms started wiggling around and reaching out for, whom else, Professor Snape. With a twinkle in his eyes, the Headmaster gave Harry over to the all ways grumpy professor.

Severus Snape taped his fingers listening to Wesley and Granger go on with their story, well half listening anyways. His mind was on something else. How they hell did Longbottum do that to Potter? "Harry tried to push Neville and run away at the same time, but the potion exploded and ended up all over Harry." Ron told his side with big gestures and a loud deep voice.

So unlike Hermione who softly said her part. "Harry smiled at us, saying he was ok, but then he let out this ear piercing scream." She lowered her head. "I never want to hear anything like that again." She looked up at the Headmaster, with tears in her eyes. "Do we know what happened to Harry? Where did he go?"

"Harry is very much alive and well." Albus reassured them with that damn twinkle in his eyes. "Even a little sleepy, it seems." He pointed to the baby who was fast asleep, holding on to the drowsy potion master's long hair. Sensing eyes on him, Severus opened his eyes, sitting up straighter in his chair.

"Bull!" Ron yelled as Hermione rushed out of her set to her lest favorite professor.

She smiled sadly at the baby, pushing the unruly hair out of the way. The scar that made her best friend famous stood out unpleasantly on the child's forehead. "What have you got you're self in this time, Harry." Hermione cooed down at the sleeping Baby Harry, despite the person holding her friend.

Ron came up behind Hermione, trying to keep his distance from his glaring Professor. "What going to happen to him?"

"Severus will have to take him to Madam Pomfrey and after that, who knows." Dumbledore smiled as he saw the mix of anger and duty, play it's self in his friends eyes. "I think that you, Mister Wesley and Miss Granger were on your way to your next class. The bell rang some time ago."

Hermione and Ron nodded with looks of fear as they left Baby Harry with their Potion Professor. "And children," The headmaster called after them before they headed out the door. "Don't mention Harry condition to anyone, until Professor Snape has a chance to take him to Madam Pomfrey. I will make sure her diagnosis will reach your ears. Good day, to you both."

They left as Severus started to do his death glare at the Headmaster. "And what should I do with Baby Potter after I take him to Poppy?"

"That my dear boy depends on what she has to say." Nevertheless, the twinkling just got brighter.

***

"Severus!" Oh no, he hated that voice. "I didn't know you had a child!"

"Hello, Minerva." Snape's deadly voice rung through the staff lounge. "This," He pointed to the calm child in his arms. "Is not mine."

"Oh, but Severus!" She cooed. "He looks just like you."

The pale Professor just glared. "That, is deliriously not funny, Deputy Headmistress."

"Then who's is it?" She asked with the hummer still in her voice.

"Lily and Potters." Severus deadly cooed back. The audible gasp that came from his college made Severus's lips curl up into what is known as, a smile.

"May I hold him?" She asked next, holding out her arms, but a funny thing happened. Baby Harry did not like this woman. She made fun of the nice dark haired man, his savor from the dark. He did not want her to hold him, so Baby Harry masked his face in the man's chest.

Severus looked down at Potter as his green eyes looked up. "You really want me to have dead arms tomorrow, don't you?" He asked and to his surprise, Baby Harry pouted and reached for the arms of his Head of House.

"How long will he be this way?" Minerva asked, rocking the chided in her arms. Snape ignored her at first, trying to figure out why Potter looked so hurt. "Severus? How long?"

Snape's black eyes fixed on her and he said, "One or two months, Poppy said, give or take."

"The poor dear, he won't be able to study or play Quidditch and he'll miss Christmas." She sadly smiled at the shy baby.

"Yes, the poor dear." Snape rolled his eyes.

Harry, upon the entrance of the Headmaster, tried to wiggle his way out of McGonagall's arms. "Hello Harry." Albus smiled taking Harry out of Minerva's arms. "How are you doing?" The headmaster wiggled his finger at Harry's stomach producing a scram of laughter. "I talked to Poppy." Albus looked over at Severus, who just lay back on the stiff staff couch. "Since Baby Harry is going to stay just that, for a while, I thought one of you could watch over him."

"Of course I'll watch him, Albus." McGonagall chimed in.

"The decision is not mine to make, Professor." There is that damn twinkle again, Severus noted. "It's Harry's." Moving closer to McGonagall, Harry squirmed in the Headmasters arms almost like he was afraid but when Albus moved closer to Severus Baby Harry almost leaped in to his arms. "He has made his decision, Good day." Albus left a pissed Minerva and a displeased potion master—with once again a sleeping Harry—behind.

***

Walking to his class Friday morning, with a much bigger Baby Harry, Severus thanked all the Gods he knew for House Elves. He went through the diaper thing with his Godson. Something the professor did not want to repeat a second time.

Swooping in his classroom, Severus marched up to his desk, glared at the class and sat Baby Harry down on the desk for everyone to see. "This," He pointed to the shy child. "Is what happens when you don't pay attention in this class. See that it doesn't happen again." Before turning around to the chalkboard, Severus transfigured paper into crayons and quills into paper. Do not ask, it's easer that way.

Writing only a minute on the board, a gasp came from his students behind him. Severus turned to see Baby Harry drawing a very detailed green snake on his caldron. Harry did not seem to mind when the professor took his crayons away. With a wave of his wand, the snake disappeared. Glaring at the smiling child, Severus turned back around to the board to finish writing the potion ingredients.

Every pair of eyes was on the smile child on the desk. Quickly Harry got board and started to roll around on the desk. Everyone watched him, some hoping that he did not fall off and some that did. However, Harry kept on rolling and very close to the edge too.

The entire class watched as Harry rolled completely off the desk, heading for the hard stone floor. It was luck for Harry that there was a seeker in the class. A bright blond, sliver-eyed seeker with fast reflexes caught Harry before he hit.

"Potter, you really need to watch out for your self." Paying no heed to his classmates, Draco walked back to his desk with Harry in his arms. Severus, who missed all of this, turned around to see Malfoy playing with Baby Harry's feet, making him laugh. "Prat." Draco laughed as Harry laughed.

"Prat." Harry said back.

Again, the whole room gasped as Draco head shot up and said, "I taught him his first word." It was say with an almost fatherly pride and of course, all the girls had to 'Aw.'

Draco blew him a raspberry as Harry did the same, both ignoring the tall dark figure standing before them. "Mister Malfoy…" Severus held out his arms and Draco reluctantly gave Harry back to the potion master.

The rest of the class was fun, well according to Severus anyways. He watched Baby Potter more closely after what happened. Therefore, while Professor Snape lectured his class on their potion for the day, Baby Harry would pick up one of the potion ingredients on the desk and throw it over his shoulder with a dead aim at Severus's caldron.

It was fun for Severus to catch the ingredients before they made it in, but it was not as pleasing as watching his students' faces drop, hopping that their Professor would catch.

***

"Yes, Headmaster? You wanted to see me?" Severus walked in the office, with Baby Harry drinking tea from a cup the shape of a racing broom.

"I heard what happened in class to day, Severus." Albus looked over his half moon spectacles at his friend. "I hope that you will watch Harry more closely next time. I mean if it wasn't for Young Malfoy's reflexes, you would be scraping Baby Harry off the floor."

"I'm sorry, Headmaster." Snape lowered his head. He really hated disappointing Albus.

"I'm going to bring you in some help, Severus." Snape's head shot up. "Some one you know very well. He'll help you in your classes."

"You're firing me?"

"No, my dear boy, I just want you to watch Harry and you can't do that and teach a class that the same time."

Known well enough that there was no arguing with Albus, Snape just said, "Please Anyone but Lockhart." Severus hunched and then added. "Or Black."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Blue eyes twinkled. "Now there is some at Durmstrang that owes me a favor. I'm sure I can get him here by Monday." The headmaster rested his chin in his hands.

Severus just glared at him. "Albus, if there is one thing that is constant in this universe; it's that there is always some obscure plan in that thick head of yours."

"Why Severus," The old wizard smiled. "That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me, ever."