Thank you all so much for reviewing. [Gives a million Captain Jack Sparrow shaped cookies to all] Review please. :] I promise to bribe you in other ways in the near future.
CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow Kicks Ass: Interesting username. I like it very much. And thank you for your wonderful review. :]
Sparrow Savvy: I'm glad you like it so far. Not to worry, I will keep going.
Captain Oblivious: Don't worry, I would have shrieked and freaked out to. That is..after planting kisses all o'er that very cool captain's face and then asking for an autograph. :P
Indigo Intrigue: I'm glad you find it interesting. :] It was nice chatting with you on AIM for a bit too.
Shanelover1: Glad you find it to your liking. :D
LittleBlueBlob: [Gives you extra cookie] Happy? ;]
Erinya: Glad you like it. :D [Yays]
Incensio Lady: Thanks. You WILL see more of this one. :]
Sweet A.K.: I'm so glad that a lot of people find it interesting. :]
Celtic elf: [EES] Nothing more then there, eh Sam?
-Lip Balm
---
I felt the tip of the pistol vibrate subtly as 'Captain Jack Sparrow' coughed into his hand and stared at the back of my head in a manner of impatience. There he was, the almighty Captain Jack Sparrow, standing around impatiently with a pistol pointed at my back. This wasn't exactly my idea of how I wanted to meet a celebrity. A fictional character wasn't exactly my idea of what kind of celebrity I wanted to meet either.
"Explanations, love," Jack said again, nudging my back a bit harshly with that God forsaken pistol of his.
"Mr. Sparrow," I said to a tree, making sure my voice was steady. "I'd be much obliged to tell you where you are and when you are, but frankly, you're not going to believe me."
"I suggest you try," he grumbled in a low tone behind me. I felt the pistol being lowered and wedged back into place on his belt. Yanking my arm, he sat me down in the mulch so that my back was facing the trunk of the tree. "After all, I do have your life in me hands."
Jack took the pistol out again and pointed it threateningly at my head.
Picking up a dead leaf and letting it fall onto the ground, I said, "You, Mr. Sparrow is currently in America. It is the year 2003 and mindless government idiots have taken over the world. You are sitting next to a lady who does not care what you go ahead and do, and you are threatening her with a pistol that only holds one shot. You are sitting in front of a diner that is overcrowded with drunken, rowdy beings who would soon rather attack you than save you."
"I don't believe you," Jack said frankly, putting the pistol down once again. A cloud of confusion hovered above his head before he asked, "How did you know about the one shot?"
"Your life is like a book," I said slowly, making sure to choose my words carefully. "A movie, more like."
Jack stared at me for a moment and a half, raising one finger and then dropping it. A confused expression clouded his face once again and he said, "Do ye have a name, love?"
"Elise," I said, pursing my lips.
"Elise, I have a proposition to make," Jack raised his eyebrows as I rolled my eyes and tapped impatiently on the tree trunk. It was almost midnight and listening to pointless compromises wasn't exactly saving the little time I had left. "Ye take me under yer care, for a bit. Show me 'round, explain a few details and get me back in me own time."
"And what do I get out of it?"
"Ye get the pleasure of bein' with Captain Jack Sparrow, darlin'"
"I don't think that's good enough," I said calmly. There was no way that I was going to help this complete stranger, armed with a gun and a sword, mind you and show him the ropes of recent times. And to get him back to his time, was completely impossible. I was just about as clueless as him, and probably more.
"Yer a stubborn one," Jack slurred. "Feisty. Ye help me around for a bit. An' then you get Captain Jack Sparrow back to his own time, as you would say. All by his onesies so he can' get 'is loot and his share of wealth. You can get part of me treasure, and I swear, by the pain of death that you will never see me again. Savvy?"
"One, Mr. Sparrow," I said, staring at the cement sidewalk. "I am already quite aware that it is not treasure you are searching for, but your Pearl. Two, I am about as clueless as you are in this whole...predicament. Three, I'd rather drop dead then help you and receive a few petty golden coins."
Jack winced as he heard the words spill from my mouth, and I saw a painful expression crossing his face as he exclaimed, "Bloody 'ell. Where did ye find all this information--Are ye sure ye're not Anamaria?"
"Positive, Mr. Sparrow. As for your first question, I think it will be told at the opportune moment."
There was a moment of silence as Jack Sparrow raised one more finger and blinked rapidly.
"Another proposition, then," he said through a slight strain. "Ye help me around for a bit. An' then you can try to get Captain Jack Sparrow back to his own time, as you would say. All by his onesies so he can get 'is loot and Pearl, and I swear, by the pain of death that you will never see me again. Else if you do not do this, I will follow ye home and continue to cause that look on your face, ye look gorgeous when you're angry by the way, until ye do decide to help me. Savvy?"
I paused for a moment, considering the idea. Captain Jack Sparrow had popped out from the movie screen, entered into a diner and was currently threatening to stalk me if I didn't try to help him on something that I also had no idea about. Oh yes, there was the whole the media is on a rampage for Depp, nonsense and the He's a bloody pirate and can blow your brains out bit.
"I help you around for a while. And I try and get you back to your own time, as I would say. Yes, all by your onesies so that you can use William Turner as your leverage and get your Pearl back," I said to him. "I am most certain that you would follow me home like a puppy and whine like one also. I hate puppies. Therefore, I will take you under my wing only for a few…matters of time. As for my side of the bargain, I demand 20% percent of what's on your Black Pearl. Do we have an accord?"
I wasn't much for treasure, I knew it completely. Money wasn't as important as the virtues I had, but frankly, I knew that Captain Jack Sparrow did care a great deal about his loot. What would I do with a pile of useless 'pirates' money, anyway. I just needed him to understand that I wasn't to be walked over on. I was his wing. That bastard Sparrow's wing.
Jack stared at me curiously, squinting as his eyes bore into mine. Opening his mouth, he said, "Aye…Do ye have a surname, lass?"
I stared back at the strange man for a few moments, and then finally got up from the mulch and dusted off my jeans. Pointing towards my car, I walked over to the door and entered it. I stuck my head out of the window and cried, "Get in the car, you bilge rat. Else you want to lay marooned on that cement block for three days. I assure you, there is no rum."
I paused before continuing.
"I shall help you. Try, as I will. And I will try my very hardest to get you back to your own time. Doubtful. Impossible. And completely insane, by the way. I suggest you get into this roaring carriage before there is no wing to tuck under anymore."
"You're a bloody pirate to compromise with," Jack cried out, but edged around the car, attempted to open the handle and hopped in looking quite skeptical. "A bloody, controlling…not good."
"You are absolutely correct, Mr. Sparrow," I said, as I exited out of the dirty parking lot onto the racing highway. "You are about to experience the most dangerous time of your life. Here in the modern times, there is this thing called a seat belt. I suggest you--
I cut to the aisle at my right and put on my own seatbelt, glancing over at Jack who looked very much engrossed in something at the left of him.
"And since you know so much," Jack interrupted a smirk, scratching the side of his face and looking towards my direction. He pointed a ring clad finger out of his side of the window and towards a mass of jammed cars, honking and screeching only a few yards away from us. "Then there be our leverage."
---
:] Hm. Review, please. :]
[Bribes you with Captain Jack Sparrow action figures that say, "I am madly in love with ye." and "But why is the rum gone?" and "…Lovely singing voice. Eunuch." Also comes with a set of batteries, another fresh batch of cookies and a free Jack Sparrow hat. (Jack: That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow's hat. Lip Balm: Get back in the closet!) ]