Chapter Two
In the cafeteria on Tuesday I saw Pamela Holden sitting with the cheerleaders and football players at their regular table. The quarterback, Jonathan Burns was shooting spitballs at the lunch ladies and the rest of them were laughing hysterically. But I noticed that Pamela only smiled halfheartedly and looked away.
She wasn't amused by Jonathan's immaturity. I smiled quickly to myself. She wasn't like other girls, that I could see. Most girls at my school would do anything to get Jonathan to notice them, even if it meant laughing at the innocent lunch ladies and acting like an idiot.
"Hey Cory," a voice said.
I tore my gaze away from Pamela and looked up at the only person that I ever really spoke to, Gavin Lockely. He was in the orchestra and I sometimes did some piano solos in the concerts they put on. He was like me in some ways. He didn't have many friends and he loved music. The only difference was he didn't care at all what people thought of him. That was something I admired. I wish I could be so carefree.
"Hi Gavin," I said. He sat down across from me. He had a tray full with salad and what looked like a tofu grilled cheese-like sandwich. Gavin was a vegan. He didn't eat meat or anything that came from animals. He was very concerned about the environment and he was more health conscious than anyone I'd ever seen.
My tray on the other hand had a cheeseburger and onion rings. Onion rings were my favourite food. I had been deprived of so much while I was in the attic that I never got sick of onion rings. Fried chicken on the other hand would made me gag if I just smelled it.
"Are you going to do anything in the concert next week?" Gavin asked taking a bite of his tofu sandwich.
"I don't know yet, I might," I told him. The conductor had already asked me but I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. I always got painfully nervous when I was on stage in front of all those people. It was a almost a phobia for me. The only thing that calmed me down was getting into the music. Usually once I started playing, I could forget about the audience but for the time before it was very nerve wracking.
"You should, everyone loves you," Gavin said smiling. He liked to joke that everyone came to the concerts to see me, not the orchestra. It embarrassed me that so many people knew about my piano playing.
"No they don't," I insisted.
"Sure they do, don't be so modest," he said. He glanced around the cafeteria and yanked his bright orange cowboy hat over his face. As if that would hide him. "Mr. Bright is coming," he muttered. Mr. Bright was the principal and he wasn't exactly Gavin's biggest fan. He had been suspended three times for passing out flyers for a dance club. Mr. Bright had strict rules against advertising for things outside of school. Gavin's favourite thing other than music was dancing. He went crazy on the dance floor doing everything he could think of. It never made sense, he just liked to be noticed and when he flailed around in his multicoloured cowboy hats and plaid slacks and suspender, you couldn't help but notice him.
"Good afternoon Mr. Lockely, I expect you are being as obedient as I know you can be today," Mr. Bright said.
Gavin pushed his hat to the side and gave Mr. Bright a fake smile, "Of course sir," he said automatically.
"Remember, one more suspension and that's it, you are no longer a student here," Mr. Bright said.
Gavin's plastered on smile tightened, "Thank you for reminding me sir," Gavin said. Mr. Bright nodded and walked away.
Gavin rolled his eyes, "He's just waiting for me to break a rule," he said.
I shrugged.
Just then Pamela and the cheerleaders walked by giggling and pointing at someone they considered a "loser".
Gavin stuck out his foot and Becky Sawyer stumbled over it. When she steadied herself she and her groupies turned around giving Gavin a look that could kill.
"What is your problem freak?" Becky asked.
"Nothing, I'm not the one who tripped over my own feet," Gavin said smirking. He always teased the cheerleaders. He thought they were cliché and shallow. He was right.
"You tripped me," Becky shot back.
"You tripped yourself," Gavin said.
"Don't worry Becky, he's just trying to get your attention because he has a crush, he wants to hang out with people like us, he doesn't know that the highest he'll get on the popularity scale is that kid," Becky's friend nodded at me. She obviously didn't even know my name.
I blushed and looked away.
"Are you going to let her talk about you like that?" Gavin asked me, his face turning red.
I looked away. I couldn't say anything to them. I just couldn't.
Becky and her friends just laughed and walked away. They had won yet another one of their many battles. They never lost when it came to the popularity game.
I watched Pamela as she followed them away. When they got to the door she looked over her shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look. I looked away from her. She pitied me. Great way to get a girl to notice you. That never would have happened to Chris. He would have stood up for himself.
More and more every day I was wishing I was more like Chris.
"I gotta go Cory," Gavin said sighing. He didn't say anything about the confrontation before walking through the same door I had watched Pamela disappear through seconds before.
A day in the life of Cory Morris.
As I rode the bus to my piano lesson that night I contemplated changing my last name back to Dollanganger. Maybe then some of the confidence that was in my genes would come back to me. I knew my father was confident and so was Chris. It had to be inside me somewhere right?
But Betsy would be so disappointed and I just didn't know if I could disappoint another person right now. I was sick of being a disappointment. I disappointed Mama, Chris, Cathy and Carrie by getting sick and leaving them, Penny and Craig by losing my mind, Jordan at the hospital by letting the mouse we kept as a pet go, and now Gavin by being weak, by not being able to stand up for myself.
But wasn't it best to stop living by what other people might think. I had to stop caring so much, it wasn't good for me to be so self conscience.
Yeah, better said than done.
In the cafeteria on Tuesday I saw Pamela Holden sitting with the cheerleaders and football players at their regular table. The quarterback, Jonathan Burns was shooting spitballs at the lunch ladies and the rest of them were laughing hysterically. But I noticed that Pamela only smiled halfheartedly and looked away.
She wasn't amused by Jonathan's immaturity. I smiled quickly to myself. She wasn't like other girls, that I could see. Most girls at my school would do anything to get Jonathan to notice them, even if it meant laughing at the innocent lunch ladies and acting like an idiot.
"Hey Cory," a voice said.
I tore my gaze away from Pamela and looked up at the only person that I ever really spoke to, Gavin Lockely. He was in the orchestra and I sometimes did some piano solos in the concerts they put on. He was like me in some ways. He didn't have many friends and he loved music. The only difference was he didn't care at all what people thought of him. That was something I admired. I wish I could be so carefree.
"Hi Gavin," I said. He sat down across from me. He had a tray full with salad and what looked like a tofu grilled cheese-like sandwich. Gavin was a vegan. He didn't eat meat or anything that came from animals. He was very concerned about the environment and he was more health conscious than anyone I'd ever seen.
My tray on the other hand had a cheeseburger and onion rings. Onion rings were my favourite food. I had been deprived of so much while I was in the attic that I never got sick of onion rings. Fried chicken on the other hand would made me gag if I just smelled it.
"Are you going to do anything in the concert next week?" Gavin asked taking a bite of his tofu sandwich.
"I don't know yet, I might," I told him. The conductor had already asked me but I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. I always got painfully nervous when I was on stage in front of all those people. It was a almost a phobia for me. The only thing that calmed me down was getting into the music. Usually once I started playing, I could forget about the audience but for the time before it was very nerve wracking.
"You should, everyone loves you," Gavin said smiling. He liked to joke that everyone came to the concerts to see me, not the orchestra. It embarrassed me that so many people knew about my piano playing.
"No they don't," I insisted.
"Sure they do, don't be so modest," he said. He glanced around the cafeteria and yanked his bright orange cowboy hat over his face. As if that would hide him. "Mr. Bright is coming," he muttered. Mr. Bright was the principal and he wasn't exactly Gavin's biggest fan. He had been suspended three times for passing out flyers for a dance club. Mr. Bright had strict rules against advertising for things outside of school. Gavin's favourite thing other than music was dancing. He went crazy on the dance floor doing everything he could think of. It never made sense, he just liked to be noticed and when he flailed around in his multicoloured cowboy hats and plaid slacks and suspender, you couldn't help but notice him.
"Good afternoon Mr. Lockely, I expect you are being as obedient as I know you can be today," Mr. Bright said.
Gavin pushed his hat to the side and gave Mr. Bright a fake smile, "Of course sir," he said automatically.
"Remember, one more suspension and that's it, you are no longer a student here," Mr. Bright said.
Gavin's plastered on smile tightened, "Thank you for reminding me sir," Gavin said. Mr. Bright nodded and walked away.
Gavin rolled his eyes, "He's just waiting for me to break a rule," he said.
I shrugged.
Just then Pamela and the cheerleaders walked by giggling and pointing at someone they considered a "loser".
Gavin stuck out his foot and Becky Sawyer stumbled over it. When she steadied herself she and her groupies turned around giving Gavin a look that could kill.
"What is your problem freak?" Becky asked.
"Nothing, I'm not the one who tripped over my own feet," Gavin said smirking. He always teased the cheerleaders. He thought they were cliché and shallow. He was right.
"You tripped me," Becky shot back.
"You tripped yourself," Gavin said.
"Don't worry Becky, he's just trying to get your attention because he has a crush, he wants to hang out with people like us, he doesn't know that the highest he'll get on the popularity scale is that kid," Becky's friend nodded at me. She obviously didn't even know my name.
I blushed and looked away.
"Are you going to let her talk about you like that?" Gavin asked me, his face turning red.
I looked away. I couldn't say anything to them. I just couldn't.
Becky and her friends just laughed and walked away. They had won yet another one of their many battles. They never lost when it came to the popularity game.
I watched Pamela as she followed them away. When they got to the door she looked over her shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look. I looked away from her. She pitied me. Great way to get a girl to notice you. That never would have happened to Chris. He would have stood up for himself.
More and more every day I was wishing I was more like Chris.
"I gotta go Cory," Gavin said sighing. He didn't say anything about the confrontation before walking through the same door I had watched Pamela disappear through seconds before.
A day in the life of Cory Morris.
As I rode the bus to my piano lesson that night I contemplated changing my last name back to Dollanganger. Maybe then some of the confidence that was in my genes would come back to me. I knew my father was confident and so was Chris. It had to be inside me somewhere right?
But Betsy would be so disappointed and I just didn't know if I could disappoint another person right now. I was sick of being a disappointment. I disappointed Mama, Chris, Cathy and Carrie by getting sick and leaving them, Penny and Craig by losing my mind, Jordan at the hospital by letting the mouse we kept as a pet go, and now Gavin by being weak, by not being able to stand up for myself.
But wasn't it best to stop living by what other people might think. I had to stop caring so much, it wasn't good for me to be so self conscience.
Yeah, better said than done.