Samine slid behind the steering wheel and unlocked the passenger door. Both remained silent as Samine started the car and drove out of the parking lot. The car was silent as Samine drove towards the beach portion of the coast.
"I knot you didn't want to just ride in my car, so talk," Samine said and shifted to the next gear.
"I don't know where to start. Should I start with how you let me think that you were dead? Or that you dropped out of a relationship that you couldn't handle?"
Samine's grip tightened on the wheel before she answered him. "I had to do what I did. You wouldn't understand my reasons."
"I wouldn't? Tell me what they are and I might surprise you," Xander snapped in anger as she shifted to the next gear again.
"Damnit Xander! I do not want to relive that part of my life. You said that I couldn't handle it? Fine, I can't. I can't handle the thought that my partner and lover thought I tried to murder my boss."
"I didn't believe that you tried to kill Gibbons."
"But you didn't deny the idea."
"Yeah, because he was shot with your gun and you were there when they walked in after you shot him!"
Samine slammed on the brakes and twisted the wheel to send the car into a sideways skid. They were on a deserted street that ran along the coast that few people drove along. The road was windy and treacherous and one wrong move could send a car into the angry ocean under the rocky cliffs. There was a place on the side of the road where a car or two could stop and this is where Samine's car came to a rest. Samine slammed the car into park and jerked out the keys before lurching out of the car.
Samine pressed her hands to her temples and felt the keys dig into her flesh. The stones crunched under Xander's feet as he walked towards Samine.
"I can not comprehend how or why you still think that I did it. You caught Mackie and I got the pawn. Why do you hold this against me?" she whispered with barely restrained anguish.
"I don't anymore Samine but at the time, there was a lot of evidence against you," he answered softly as she slowly turned to face him.
"And yet all of my close friends believed me to be innocent and you, my lover and partner, believed I was guilty."
"I did not think you were guilty Samine."
"Oh, don't pull that bullshit with me Xander; I saw it in your eyes when we were in the interrogation room. Do you know how painful it was to see that in your eyes?" she snapped and walked away from Xander, towards the cliffs.
A powerful breeze was coming off the ocean as Samine looked towards the expanse of water and tried to reign in her raging emotions. The wind brushed small pieces of hair away from her face as it cooled her flushed face. Her shirt flapped in the breeze and she sighed deeply.
"Do you think you're the only one?"
Samine turned and jumped slightly upon seeing how close he was. Looking at his face, Samine took a step back and felt a surge of fear race through her. She had never been scared of any man, but Xander knew her intimately. He knew her better than anyone and knew how to hurt her; physically, mentally and emotionally.
"What?" she asked and controlled the waver in her voice.
"Do you think that you were the only one that suffered? Do you realize what I've gone through? What Shelly went through? I was plagued with nightmares for about six months after your death. Shelly was the one who stayed up with me and dealt with my attitude problems my heart almost broke when you gave me that look at headquarters. And when I saw you just now in the club, I thought I was imagining it. You have pulled me through hell and back and I'm done with it!" Xander sneered and Samine flinched.
"I gave my love blindly to you and you threw it back in my face. If you're done with me, then finish it."
Before Samine could realize what Xander was doing, he had his hand around her throat and squeezed just enough to make her panic. Xander pushed her towards the jutting cliffs and almost held her over the edge. Samine held onto his forearm tightly as she tried to take a deep breath.
"I would finish it but you're not worth it. You tease and cajole your lovers that you say you love but you never loved any of them. At least not me and you just tossed me away without talking to me about it. I will not kill you myself, but if you do die then I will not mourn you," he said and pulled Samine past him, onto the ground.
Xander walked past her and towards the car, but stopped when he heard laughter. It wasn't joyful laughter but devoid of emotion. It was empty and heartless as Xander slowly turned to look at Samine.
She was on her hands and knees on the gravel and her body shook slightly from her empty laughter. She slowly pushed herself up to her feet and looked at her torn and slightly bloody hands before looking at Xander. Her eyes were a frozen blue but were empty as she slowly walked towards Xander.
"You don't know how much of that is true Xander. When I die, there will be no mourning and no one to miss me. My memory will be blown away and my history will be erased. I am just a number and a code name and nothing more," she said with a blank face.
Without another word, Samine moved past him and walked to her car. Xander followed without a word and slid into the car as Samine started the car and drove onto the road. The car was silent as Samine steered the car through the streets. Xander thought over what she had said and couldn't understand her meaning. With a mental groan, he rubbed his hand over his bald head and looked out the window.
Several minutes later, they drove up the drive and Samine stopped beside the villa. Stepping out of the car, she slammed the door shut and walked away from the car and into the shadows. Her fury silenced the night animals as she slipped from shadow to shadow towards her part of the villa. Unlocking the doors, she stepped into the darkened rooms and searched for the light switch. Hitting it and illuminating the room, she slowly stripped off her holster and dropped it on the wicker chair. Turning on the lights in the bathroom, she filled the sink with warm water and carefully washed her torn hands. Glancing up at the mirror, Samine spied Lexxiss standing in the doorway, watching her.
"Should it be normal to spill innocent blood in a pristine sink?" she asked and Samine looked down at the bloody water.
"The blood has not been innocent in a very long time and stains everything it touches."
"You've read too much Shakespeare."
"So have you but it fits into our situation," Samine replied and gently rubbed a salve on her palms before wrapping her hands with bandages.
"How is that?"
"'The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! /Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player/The struts and frets his hour upon the stage/And then is heard no more. It is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury/Signifying nothing.' The world is a stage and everyone is an actor. They go onto the stage and act for their fifteen minutes of fame and fade into the wings. Just like us," she said sadly and watched the bloody water swirl down the drain.
"Yeah but we come back in a few scenes later as a new character."
Samine turned towards Lexxiss and turned off the bathroom lights as Lexxiss backed into the room and Samine stood in the doorway. Lexxiss looked at Samine and took in her appearance. Her outward looks projected a sexy young woman in the prime of her life. Her eyes, however, told another story about her life. She had seen too much to not come away unaffected from all her missions. She looked tired, not the normal tired, but tired of life itself.
"And how many times have we acted in this play Lexxiss? How many new names and identities have we gone through? Can you honestly tell me that you remember your real name? I mean the one you were born with? Hell, when were we really born?" Samine asked and walked into her part of the house.
"We are living everyone's dream Samine. Most people hate who they are and want to be someone else. One day we are a doctor and the next we are a pilot. We never know where we may be the next day," Lexxiss called after Samine and sat on the couch.
Her hands went to her knees and slowly unzipped her boots and tossed them aside. She sighed in pleasure and wiggled her toes as Samine appeared from the room. She wore a simple pair of silk draw string pants and a tank top as she padded to the couch and sat down with her legs curled under her.
"I know all about that Lexxiss but I'm tired of it. Tired of all of it; I miss having a life."
"What was it that you had with Xander?"
Samine shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I became scared."
"And being scared is human. Do you love him?"
"That's an unfair question Lexxiss."
"Samine, don't pull that agent-no-emotions bullshit with me. I've seen you scream, cry, and laugh; so I know you have emotions."
"All of those happened when I was in pain, those don't count," she snapped and held a pillow in her lap.
"You're avoiding my question Samine."
"It's late Lexxiss, I'm going to bed," she said and tossed the pillow at Lexxiss as she stood up.
Walking towards her area of the house, she stopped when Lexxiss called after her.
"Answer me Samine. You owe me that much. Do you love Xander?"
Samine sighed and turned to face Lexxiss again. She held the door and swung it back and forth slowly before answering.
"And what if I do Lexx? He obviously wants nothing to do with me anymore. It won't change the situation and I'm left to lie in the grave that I've dug for myself. Whatever it was that we had is over…it's over," she whispered and watched the door swing back and forth. "Good night Lexxiss."
Samine stepped back and pushed the door shut before Lexxiss could dig any deeper. She was pulled tighter than a bow string and felt like she was ready to snap any second. Knowing full well that Lexxiss would hear her if she left, she turned out all the lights and moved to the small spiral staircase. She slowly walked up the stairs to the nook that served as her bedroom and went to the small ledge next to the large bay window. Sitting on the ledge and leaning her back against the wall, she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. Bright moonlight spilled through the windows to sparkle off silent tears.
Shelly was instantly on her guard the next morning once she caught a good look at Xander's face. She knew that the time he spent with Samine was not well spent. While they dressed for breakfast, Shelly tried to get some answers from him about what occurred.
"Did Samine and you have a good ride last night?"
"You do not want to go there, Shell," he said as he pulled on a shirt.
"What happened?"
"Once this mission is finished, I'm leaving immediately. I'll catch the first flight out and back to Washington. It's over between her and me," he said angrily as Shelly gaped at him.
"Uh…okay, whatever you say."
Xander walked out of the room as Shelly stared after him. With a groan she slapped her hand to her forehead in frustration.
"What did you do now Samine?" she asked out loud to the empty room.
"She did what she had to do."
Shelly jumped in surprise and spun to see Lexxiss leaning against the wall with her arms crossed across her chest. She was watching Shelly closely through narrowed eyes, which caused Shelly to grow uncomfortable under her gaze. Instead of backing down, she pulled herself up and glared back at the dark woman.
"What are you talking about?" Shelly asked and warily eyed the other woman.
"I'm talking about who you are talking about: Samine."
"I don't know a Samine."
Lexxiss laughed and pushed away from the wall. She walked towards Shelly and stopped in front of her.
"Or you could call her Stasia. She responds to many names Shelly."
"How do-"
"I just came to tell you this Agent Hillside: Samine Nalia knows more than she really should and that makes her the enemy of a lot of people. You should really ask her what her name is," Lexxiss said and started to walk towards the door.
"Her name is Samine."
Lexxiss turned to look at Shelly with a mysterious look. "Are you sure?"
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Okay everyone there is the new chapter, I hope everyone likes it. The lines: 'The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! /Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player/The struts and frets his hour upon the stage/And then is heard no more. It is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury/Signifying nothing.' Those lines are from Shakespeare's Macbeth, beautiful play. I have to give out a HUGE thank you to Eadha Ohn, Lexxiss, and Ivorybrowneyes. These reviewers are my driving force behind my writing abilities. They are continuously pushing me harder and harder to work on the story. So a huge huggle goes out to them *huggle*.
Ivorybrowneyes-Okay so here you go, hope you appreciate the hard work I put into this chapter. Enjoy!
Lexxiss-Thank you so much for the compliment. I worked really hard on it and kept you in mind the entire time, I hope you like the attitude that I'm giving your character. I'm just writing it as I'd like to see it. I thought that was a good description and I just dropped it in there. Enjoy! (And ivorybrowneyes says that she wants to kick your character's ass; she likes you, the person, but she doesn't like your character *shrugs shoulders* I don't know; take it outside with her).
Eadha Ohn-HUNH?
AhaHekA aka Slone-What is up with your name? Just curious, that's all. Well you must be pissed off now because no one kissed or screwed. I'll try to get some more action in there for you. Take care and enjoy.