The shining. Oh, wait a minute.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. And it will get even more stupid this time around. Though with the way the stupidity fest that was the last story was, it's gonna be a challenge. But I'll try and do it. By the way, I got new muses.
Murray the skull (from Monkey Island): I'm scary. Fear me, mortal. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Darth Vader (heavy breathing): Concept. I. Am. Your. Father.
Concept: Uhh, riiight. Come to think of it, these guys aren't inspiring me at all. Why do I call them muses? Oh well. You will read "the exorcist. Oh wait a minute", if you haven't yet. (why haven't you read it yet?).
On with the fic.
********************************************************************
A car is driving on an icy road.
Kain: How the hell can all of us vampires/demons/whatever be in a single car?
Fine. Minivan.
Vorador: It's still hellishly cramped.
Fine. A freaking BUS! Happy?
vampires/demons/whatever: Yep ^_^
Kain: Ouch, I'm getting cramped in my legs. SPRING BREAK. Oh wait a second.
Dont' steal from the title.
Vorador: Hehe. Tits.
Rahab is pranking the hell out of all the others because he is the only one who can pick up the snow which is made of water. Aside from the soul reaver version of Raziel, but that's just a plothole.
All (-Rahab): IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Breathe.
-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS! DAMNIT, RAHAB!
Rahab: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This is hilarious.
Dumah punches Rahab who goes flying.
Rahab: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!! !!!!! (Ps: !!!!)
Vraz: Kain, why the hell did you agree to take this job?
Kain: I have to do something.
Flashback-
Nothing happens.
I SAID FLASHBACK- (punches flashback. It starts rolling)
Two girls are carressing a guy. WHAT THE HELL? VORADOR, YOU ASSHOLE, HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE FLASHBACK MACHINE AGAIN?
Vorador: I swear, it's just milk.
WHAT? I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!
Vorador: Woah.
Okay, the prober flashback this time please.
Flashback-
Eminem: look. If you had. One shot. One chance. To seize everything you ever wanted.
End Flashback
DAMNIT, HASH. GIVE ME THE RIGHT ONE NOW.
Flashback-
Malek: Now, Kain, you once tried to murder me, so why should I give you this job?
Kain: Because I now know "spirit death". Ya know, the spell that can destroy your soul.
Malek: I see. The job is yours. Just don't go crazy in a "heeeeeres Johnny" way.
Kain: Won't happen. My name ain't John.
Malek: And for gods sake, don't bring your psychic kid along.
Kain: Are you dissing my kids? I'LL KILL YOU!
Malek: No, what I mean is, don't bring the kid you have that can see the future.
Kain: Vampiric Raziel? But he will be so dissapointed. Besides, Concept of a demon can't provide any story if I don't.
Malek: Fine. Just be careful with the "bloody elevator".
Kain: Are you making fun of english people?
Malek: No, it's a pun. There's blood coming out of it.
Kain: I can tell I'll be spending a lot of time with that thing.
Malek: It's ghost blood.
Kain: Damnit. Just like your soldiers, huh?
Malek: NoIjustdon'twantyoutodrinkit.It'stheonlytouristattractionattheplace.
Kain: What?
Malek: It's cursed. Drinking it will have the same effect as eating 400 Font of Putrescence.
Kain: I see. I'll be sure to keep away from it then.
Malek: Also be careful with that hedge maze. It is helluva slippy, sucka.
Kain: Oh great. Mr. T mode. Snap out of it, Malek.
Malek: Sorry, what was I saying?
Kain: Just forget it. Now please tell me what things I need to forget in order for me to blow up the hotel after my "here's Johnny" phaze.
Malek: Remember to handle the boiler.
Kain: I'm so glad Vorador isn't here to make perverted jokes about that.
Malek: Mhm, yes, indeed.
Kain: I'll take the job.
End flashback.
Turel: Ya know, Concept, that wasn't funny at all.
One can always hope.
Vraz: I predict, no reviews for a month and then 2 flamers.
Vraz is horribly mutilated.
Vraz: Ouch.
Kain: Just shut the hell up. It's picnic time.
Ariel: During winter?
Kain: YES, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
Ariel punches Kain hard in the stomach.
Kain: Ouch.
(hey, page 5)
Dumah: Damnit, you're not doing that again.
Okay, sorry.
Janos: Hey, Ariel is pretty tough, huh?
SRRaz: That's my girlfriend.
Everybody else: WTF?
SRRaz: Didn't you know?
Zephon: No, Concept just made this plotpoint now.
Ariel: True.
Moebius: Do Vorador have more "milk"?
Concept: YEAAAAARRRRRGHHI'LLKILLYOU!!!!
Magnus: BOY IN TOO BIG CLOTHING HAS MANIFESTED AGAIN.
Concept pulls out a banana with an S on it.
Sebastian: Oh shit, he's been playing Worms 2 again. Run for cover.
Moebius sees the approaching banana.
Moebius: huh?
The banana blows up taking nearly all of Moebius with it. But not all. You see, he's just like Buu from Dragon ball z. He can regenerate as long as there's something left of him. Buu, however, is not this pathetic.
VRaz: That was the longest narration you ever did in one of your humour (insert snort and sarcastic nodding here) -Quit doing that- stories.
Dumah: That didn't make much sense.
Chaos rampant, an age of distrust. Confrontations. Impulsive habitat.
Kain: What the f-ck?
Melchiah: He's been listening to Slayer again.
Turel: I thought he likes to listen to Metallica?
Rahab: Yeah, but he found out it's not very funny to be "drumsticked" by Lars Ulrich, so he stopped it. Besides, it wasn't any good anyway. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks.
Vorador: "drumsticked", sounds kinky.
Concept knocks Vorador out with a cola bottle.
Concept: A little less pervertedness, please.
Umah: And that comes from you. You are pervertedness manifested.
Concept: No, I'm just in the pupercy.
Umah: Which is the stage where you are most perverted.
Kain: Which leaves the question of wether Vorador ever left his pupercy.
Umah: Or wether you did.
Kain: What?
Umah: The things you want me to do when the kids are asleep.
Kain: Let's not mention that. ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY, SPRINGBREAK'S OVER. Oh, wait a minute. We need to go to the hotel.
(Hey, page 7)
Dumah: Quit it.
They all arrive at the hotel. Only the gartner is there to greet them.
Nupraptor: Hi. Allow me to talk to you guys while talking to your son telepathically.
Kain: Okay, prattle on.
Nuppy: Well, everybody's leaving. Which is just as well, otherwise you'd probably kill more than your family.
After Nuppy has shown everybody around he talks with Vampire Raziel.
Nuppy: You must be careful. Your dad might go crazy Shining style.
Vraz: usually, he's worse than that. And besides, shouldn't you be talking to the youngest one in the family? I'm the second oldest after Soul reaver Raziel.
Nuppy: Don't ruin the story.
Vraz: Sorry.
Nuppy: Don't go into room 666, don't go outside (the snow will burn you) and you are capable of "THE DIMMING".
Vraz: Don't you mean "the shining"?
Nuppy: Quiet, boy, are you trying to get us sued?
Vraz: Sorry. What is the dimming?
Nuppy: Suggested by OrpheumZero, it is an ability you have due to a random twist to the story "the exorcist. Oh wait a minute". Basically, you can read minds and see the future.
Vraz: And I thought I was Omniscient. Damn.
Nuppy: Tough break, kid.
********************************************************************
And here it ends. I want 5 reviews as usual. Heh, I finally got my lazy ass up from my chair and started writing.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. And it will get even more stupid this time around. Though with the way the stupidity fest that was the last story was, it's gonna be a challenge. But I'll try and do it. By the way, I got new muses.
Murray the skull (from Monkey Island): I'm scary. Fear me, mortal. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Darth Vader (heavy breathing): Concept. I. Am. Your. Father.
Concept: Uhh, riiight. Come to think of it, these guys aren't inspiring me at all. Why do I call them muses? Oh well. You will read "the exorcist. Oh wait a minute", if you haven't yet. (why haven't you read it yet?).
On with the fic.
********************************************************************
A car is driving on an icy road.
Kain: How the hell can all of us vampires/demons/whatever be in a single car?
Fine. Minivan.
Vorador: It's still hellishly cramped.
Fine. A freaking BUS! Happy?
vampires/demons/whatever: Yep ^_^
Kain: Ouch, I'm getting cramped in my legs. SPRING BREAK. Oh wait a second.
Dont' steal from the title.
Vorador: Hehe. Tits.
Rahab is pranking the hell out of all the others because he is the only one who can pick up the snow which is made of water. Aside from the soul reaver version of Raziel, but that's just a plothole.
All (-Rahab): IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Breathe.
-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS! DAMNIT, RAHAB!
Rahab: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This is hilarious.
Dumah punches Rahab who goes flying.
Rahab: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!! !!!!! (Ps: !!!!)
Vraz: Kain, why the hell did you agree to take this job?
Kain: I have to do something.
Flashback-
Nothing happens.
I SAID FLASHBACK- (punches flashback. It starts rolling)
Two girls are carressing a guy. WHAT THE HELL? VORADOR, YOU ASSHOLE, HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE FLASHBACK MACHINE AGAIN?
Vorador: I swear, it's just milk.
WHAT? I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!
Vorador: Woah.
Okay, the prober flashback this time please.
Flashback-
Eminem: look. If you had. One shot. One chance. To seize everything you ever wanted.
End Flashback
DAMNIT, HASH. GIVE ME THE RIGHT ONE NOW.
Flashback-
Malek: Now, Kain, you once tried to murder me, so why should I give you this job?
Kain: Because I now know "spirit death". Ya know, the spell that can destroy your soul.
Malek: I see. The job is yours. Just don't go crazy in a "heeeeeres Johnny" way.
Kain: Won't happen. My name ain't John.
Malek: And for gods sake, don't bring your psychic kid along.
Kain: Are you dissing my kids? I'LL KILL YOU!
Malek: No, what I mean is, don't bring the kid you have that can see the future.
Kain: Vampiric Raziel? But he will be so dissapointed. Besides, Concept of a demon can't provide any story if I don't.
Malek: Fine. Just be careful with the "bloody elevator".
Kain: Are you making fun of english people?
Malek: No, it's a pun. There's blood coming out of it.
Kain: I can tell I'll be spending a lot of time with that thing.
Malek: It's ghost blood.
Kain: Damnit. Just like your soldiers, huh?
Malek: NoIjustdon'twantyoutodrinkit.It'stheonlytouristattractionattheplace.
Kain: What?
Malek: It's cursed. Drinking it will have the same effect as eating 400 Font of Putrescence.
Kain: I see. I'll be sure to keep away from it then.
Malek: Also be careful with that hedge maze. It is helluva slippy, sucka.
Kain: Oh great. Mr. T mode. Snap out of it, Malek.
Malek: Sorry, what was I saying?
Kain: Just forget it. Now please tell me what things I need to forget in order for me to blow up the hotel after my "here's Johnny" phaze.
Malek: Remember to handle the boiler.
Kain: I'm so glad Vorador isn't here to make perverted jokes about that.
Malek: Mhm, yes, indeed.
Kain: I'll take the job.
End flashback.
Turel: Ya know, Concept, that wasn't funny at all.
One can always hope.
Vraz: I predict, no reviews for a month and then 2 flamers.
Vraz is horribly mutilated.
Vraz: Ouch.
Kain: Just shut the hell up. It's picnic time.
Ariel: During winter?
Kain: YES, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
Ariel punches Kain hard in the stomach.
Kain: Ouch.
(hey, page 5)
Dumah: Damnit, you're not doing that again.
Okay, sorry.
Janos: Hey, Ariel is pretty tough, huh?
SRRaz: That's my girlfriend.
Everybody else: WTF?
SRRaz: Didn't you know?
Zephon: No, Concept just made this plotpoint now.
Ariel: True.
Moebius: Do Vorador have more "milk"?
Concept: YEAAAAARRRRRGHHI'LLKILLYOU!!!!
Magnus: BOY IN TOO BIG CLOTHING HAS MANIFESTED AGAIN.
Concept pulls out a banana with an S on it.
Sebastian: Oh shit, he's been playing Worms 2 again. Run for cover.
Moebius sees the approaching banana.
Moebius: huh?
The banana blows up taking nearly all of Moebius with it. But not all. You see, he's just like Buu from Dragon ball z. He can regenerate as long as there's something left of him. Buu, however, is not this pathetic.
VRaz: That was the longest narration you ever did in one of your humour (insert snort and sarcastic nodding here) -Quit doing that- stories.
Dumah: That didn't make much sense.
Chaos rampant, an age of distrust. Confrontations. Impulsive habitat.
Kain: What the f-ck?
Melchiah: He's been listening to Slayer again.
Turel: I thought he likes to listen to Metallica?
Rahab: Yeah, but he found out it's not very funny to be "drumsticked" by Lars Ulrich, so he stopped it. Besides, it wasn't any good anyway. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks.
Vorador: "drumsticked", sounds kinky.
Concept knocks Vorador out with a cola bottle.
Concept: A little less pervertedness, please.
Umah: And that comes from you. You are pervertedness manifested.
Concept: No, I'm just in the pupercy.
Umah: Which is the stage where you are most perverted.
Kain: Which leaves the question of wether Vorador ever left his pupercy.
Umah: Or wether you did.
Kain: What?
Umah: The things you want me to do when the kids are asleep.
Kain: Let's not mention that. ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY, SPRINGBREAK'S OVER. Oh, wait a minute. We need to go to the hotel.
(Hey, page 7)
Dumah: Quit it.
They all arrive at the hotel. Only the gartner is there to greet them.
Nupraptor: Hi. Allow me to talk to you guys while talking to your son telepathically.
Kain: Okay, prattle on.
Nuppy: Well, everybody's leaving. Which is just as well, otherwise you'd probably kill more than your family.
After Nuppy has shown everybody around he talks with Vampire Raziel.
Nuppy: You must be careful. Your dad might go crazy Shining style.
Vraz: usually, he's worse than that. And besides, shouldn't you be talking to the youngest one in the family? I'm the second oldest after Soul reaver Raziel.
Nuppy: Don't ruin the story.
Vraz: Sorry.
Nuppy: Don't go into room 666, don't go outside (the snow will burn you) and you are capable of "THE DIMMING".
Vraz: Don't you mean "the shining"?
Nuppy: Quiet, boy, are you trying to get us sued?
Vraz: Sorry. What is the dimming?
Nuppy: Suggested by OrpheumZero, it is an ability you have due to a random twist to the story "the exorcist. Oh wait a minute". Basically, you can read minds and see the future.
Vraz: And I thought I was Omniscient. Damn.
Nuppy: Tough break, kid.
********************************************************************
And here it ends. I want 5 reviews as usual. Heh, I finally got my lazy ass up from my chair and started writing.