Disclaimer: (singing) Concept doesn't own a thing and he also cannot sing.
Kudos:
sylvanon the wolf gurl: Thanks for the offer but it won't be nescescary. I'll handle it.
OrpheumZero: Is that supposed to be a threat? I wouldn't mind 1000 clones of her, but then again, that's because I'm perverted. And yes, I heard about Janos being evil and all.
Mortalsora: There's nothing wrong with this fic, it's just that I like to make fun of myself. And you try fighting Ariel. I'm the only one who can keep her in line.
MikotoTribal1: That's why I should always read the full review. Zephon will probably take over the world eventually, but not in this fic.
Lunatic Pandora1: Could you be a bit more specific?
Dark-Sephy: Yup. I'm glad you liked it.
A/N: Allright, people, I started writing as I go again. (disclaimer first, then kudos, then A/N, then story, then finishing A/N)
Darth Vader: You're an ass.
Darth Vader gets zapped for that comment.
Murray: None are more scary than me.
And no one talks worse than you, either.
Murray: You're mean.
I don't care. Ya know, this is changed. The original draft was more criticism of society, so I changed it. This story is supposed to be funny, not critizising of things. Damn, this chapter isn't funny.
********************************************************************
Kain is walking in a hallway. He walks by a door. The door opens. Out jumps Hash.
Hash: Do you know you could feed 500 people with the grain used to feed one cow? Being a member of PETA has given me such a delightful insight to things.
Kain: So?
Hash: Innocent animals are being slaughtered ruthlessly to feed you.
Kain: Uhh, I drink blood.
Hash: Why should animals suffer? We can all eat vegetables and no animals would be hurt.
Kain: Hash, what the hell is wrong with you? If you don't like meat, fine. But do not tell people that they shouldn't either, because if you do, you suck.
Hash: animals are suffering to feed you and you don't care?
Kain: What about all the animals killed during harvesting season to feed YOU?
Hash: Uhh. We are not killing intentionally.
Kain: Well, by that logic, why not let drunk drivers who killed someone off the hook? That is unintentionally, too.
Hash: Uhh, DIE! (Runs for Kain with a chainsaw. Wow, it sure was a long time ago that I mentioned those.)
Kain: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! (runs for it)
He runs on. Out of another door comes Umah. She punches Kain in the arm. Kain punches back. Umah is shocked.
Umah: How could you just hit me like that, Kain? Do you hit ladies? You weakling.
Kain: Call it self-defence.
Umah: It's domestic violence!
Kain: WHAT? You punched me, isn't that domestic violence?
Umah: No. Women are equal to men. We deserve to be treated so.
Kain: and if a man hits another man, the man is allowed to hit back. It's the way it works, Umah.
Umah: But I'm a woman.
Kain: Then why do you want to be treated like a man?
Umah: I deserve respect.
Kain: If you punch me, I punch back, it's the way of things.
Umah: I intend to change that.
Kain: So you can punch me, but I can't punch you?
Umah: Yep.
Kain: DIE! (tries to kill Umah horribly, but she pulls out a sledgehammer)
Umah: We'll see if you punch back, once you are knocked out.
Umah beats the shit out of Kain. He can barely walk, when suddenly, Janos flies in and knocks out Umah.
Kain: Thanks Janos.
Janos: I want to talk to you about something, Kain. Parents are bad to their kids, but Concept still blames the kid if they kill, rape, steal or something else. But if parents don't treat their kids well, the kids will do something bad.
Kain: Screw that. The kids are still the ones doing the crap.
Janos: They were treated badly by their parents, Kain.
Kain: And innocents have to suffer for that?
Janos: No, but the kids are just as innocent.
Kain: Bull. They are the ones killing, not their parents.
Janos: Kain, if a child doesn't get love, it will die.
Kain: No, it might go crazy, but then we'll just end it's suffering.
Janos: Kids aren't animals, Kain.
Kain: No, animals don't kill others because they feel neglected.
Janos: That's because we can think, Kain.
Kain: Janos, your arguments doesn't work with me. You are no different than people claiming that TV, music, and games are destroying todays youth. Just because you blame the parents doesn't mean that the child shouldn't be taking it's responsibilities. It's still the kid doing stupid things.
Janos: But.
Kain: ENOUGH! I'm so sick of people who think it's never the one who commited a crime who's to blame. It's the kids fault.
Janos: We'll see about that (Kicks Kain's ass)
Kain: Okay, you are right, Janos. So I guess you kicked my ass because of your parents treating you badly.
Janos: No, it's frustration caused by the fact that Raziel tore out my heart.
Kain: Don't you think he was treated badly by his parents?
Janos: I don't care. He's still the one who did it.
Kain: uhh.
Janos: Shut up, Kain. You don't know what you're talking about.
Kain walks out. Mortanius is the one to jump out this time.
Mortanius: We must have democracy in Nosgoth or we will decline.
Kain: And what's so special about democracy?
Morty: You get freedom of speech, you can do what you want to do, you have equal rights for everybody, majority decides what is good.
Kain: Let me guess, there's censorship.
Morty: There's some things that shouldn't be said.
Kain: Why claim that you can say what you want to if no one's allowed to hear it? Am I allowed to kill in a democracy?
Morty: No, of course you're not allowed to kill.
Kain: Why does everybody have equal rights? Killers shouldn't have the same rights as others. Rapists shouldn't have the same right as others.
Morty: Everybody deserves a fair treatment.
Kain: As opposed to the way they treated their victims? Majority shouldn't decide what's good or not.
Morty: Over half of the number can't be wrong.
Kain: So it's peer pressure on a larger scale.
Morty: That's square thinking, Kain.
Kain: No, it's brilliant thinking.
Morty: Uhh. (transforms into a huge skeleton with chainsaws for fingers.) ROOOOOOAAAARR!!!!!
Kain: I'm doomed now.
Mortanius is getting near, and the chainsaws are roaring. ******************************************************************** Kain wakes up, sweaty.
Kain: IT BUUUUURNS! Wow, I need a drink.
Kain walks down to the bar. There's the sound of partying coming from it. Kain walks in. Sure enough, there's a party.
Kain: Uhh, why is there a party?
OrpheumZero: Who cares? What you should be concerned with is that there is a party and why you aren't enjoying it.
MortalSora: Yeah, I thought you were a party animal, Kain.
Kain: I am.
Dark-sephy: Then you should get partying. Go buy yourself a drink.
Kain: Concept better not be the bartender.
Psycho-Virus83: What can I get ya?
Kain: A blood Mary.
Psycho-Virus83: Here ya go.
So Kain parties through the night. Suddenly, he's doing the limbo with people such as MikotoTribal, sylvanon the wolf gurl and Kaya De Crystalline.
Sylva: How low can ya go.
Kain does a Matrix move and goes down under the limbo bar.
Orpheum: That's the way it's supposed to be done.
Kain is hanging out with some people in a corner.
Popeland: so Kain, how's the crazyness coming?
Kain: Well, I just had a dream were I had my ass kicked alot. Not that I'm unhappy with it, but why isn't COAD at the party?
MortalSora: He's gone lazy. He doesn't even write his full name anymore.
Popeland: He's talking to the big man right now.
Kain: God?
OrpheumZero: No, he doesn't believe in god.
Kain: Then who is the big man?
MortalSora: No one knows. Not even COAD. It's a random plot twist for now.
Kain: Knowing his imagination, it will probably never be explained.
MikotoTribal: That's probably true.
Kain: Hey, why is Psycho-Virus83 included in this story? She hasn't reviewed it yet.
MikotoTribal: COAD assumes that she hasn't read the story yet. Or that she didn't like it, but wouldn't flame it, either. Besides, he is throwing people in again at random.
Kain: But they have to have reviewed the story?
Orpheumzero: Yep.
MortalSora: Mostly.
COAD walks down from a staircase.
Concept: I figured out who I was talking to.
MikotoTribal: Who was it?
Concept: Satan. I swear, he has to stop talking like a hiphopper or I'll never understand him. "What up, dawg. Hows its chilling, bro." I swear, the next time he calls me "dawg".
Psycho-Virus83: Hey Concept, the usual?
Concept: Yep.
Psycho-Virus83 tosses me a mix between many drinks.
Concept: Ahh, that's the stuff.
Kain: So Concept, why was my dream so odd?
Concept: That happens everytime I talk to Satan.
Kain: Ahh.
OrpheumZero: Well, Kain, the party's about to end. But we're holding one tomorrow. Wanna come?
Kain: Yep. I sure am hungry.
MortalSora: You can drink from the elevator's blood.
Kain: Okay. (walks out to the elevator after having said goodbye to everyone.)
Kain: Nahh, maybe tommorow.
******************************************************************** Hey hey, (page 8) that wasn't so bad, was it? It was? Damn you. What are you saying? "you suck"? Well, in that case, no food for a week. We can consider this a filler episode. I don't know if this was very funny, but you are just gonna have to tell me if it is or not. And yes, 5 reviews. Or more if you have something to say. And constructive critiscism if it's nescescary.
COAD.
Kudos:
sylvanon the wolf gurl: Thanks for the offer but it won't be nescescary. I'll handle it.
OrpheumZero: Is that supposed to be a threat? I wouldn't mind 1000 clones of her, but then again, that's because I'm perverted. And yes, I heard about Janos being evil and all.
Mortalsora: There's nothing wrong with this fic, it's just that I like to make fun of myself. And you try fighting Ariel. I'm the only one who can keep her in line.
MikotoTribal1: That's why I should always read the full review. Zephon will probably take over the world eventually, but not in this fic.
Lunatic Pandora1: Could you be a bit more specific?
Dark-Sephy: Yup. I'm glad you liked it.
A/N: Allright, people, I started writing as I go again. (disclaimer first, then kudos, then A/N, then story, then finishing A/N)
Darth Vader: You're an ass.
Darth Vader gets zapped for that comment.
Murray: None are more scary than me.
And no one talks worse than you, either.
Murray: You're mean.
I don't care. Ya know, this is changed. The original draft was more criticism of society, so I changed it. This story is supposed to be funny, not critizising of things. Damn, this chapter isn't funny.
********************************************************************
Kain is walking in a hallway. He walks by a door. The door opens. Out jumps Hash.
Hash: Do you know you could feed 500 people with the grain used to feed one cow? Being a member of PETA has given me such a delightful insight to things.
Kain: So?
Hash: Innocent animals are being slaughtered ruthlessly to feed you.
Kain: Uhh, I drink blood.
Hash: Why should animals suffer? We can all eat vegetables and no animals would be hurt.
Kain: Hash, what the hell is wrong with you? If you don't like meat, fine. But do not tell people that they shouldn't either, because if you do, you suck.
Hash: animals are suffering to feed you and you don't care?
Kain: What about all the animals killed during harvesting season to feed YOU?
Hash: Uhh. We are not killing intentionally.
Kain: Well, by that logic, why not let drunk drivers who killed someone off the hook? That is unintentionally, too.
Hash: Uhh, DIE! (Runs for Kain with a chainsaw. Wow, it sure was a long time ago that I mentioned those.)
Kain: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! (runs for it)
He runs on. Out of another door comes Umah. She punches Kain in the arm. Kain punches back. Umah is shocked.
Umah: How could you just hit me like that, Kain? Do you hit ladies? You weakling.
Kain: Call it self-defence.
Umah: It's domestic violence!
Kain: WHAT? You punched me, isn't that domestic violence?
Umah: No. Women are equal to men. We deserve to be treated so.
Kain: and if a man hits another man, the man is allowed to hit back. It's the way it works, Umah.
Umah: But I'm a woman.
Kain: Then why do you want to be treated like a man?
Umah: I deserve respect.
Kain: If you punch me, I punch back, it's the way of things.
Umah: I intend to change that.
Kain: So you can punch me, but I can't punch you?
Umah: Yep.
Kain: DIE! (tries to kill Umah horribly, but she pulls out a sledgehammer)
Umah: We'll see if you punch back, once you are knocked out.
Umah beats the shit out of Kain. He can barely walk, when suddenly, Janos flies in and knocks out Umah.
Kain: Thanks Janos.
Janos: I want to talk to you about something, Kain. Parents are bad to their kids, but Concept still blames the kid if they kill, rape, steal or something else. But if parents don't treat their kids well, the kids will do something bad.
Kain: Screw that. The kids are still the ones doing the crap.
Janos: They were treated badly by their parents, Kain.
Kain: And innocents have to suffer for that?
Janos: No, but the kids are just as innocent.
Kain: Bull. They are the ones killing, not their parents.
Janos: Kain, if a child doesn't get love, it will die.
Kain: No, it might go crazy, but then we'll just end it's suffering.
Janos: Kids aren't animals, Kain.
Kain: No, animals don't kill others because they feel neglected.
Janos: That's because we can think, Kain.
Kain: Janos, your arguments doesn't work with me. You are no different than people claiming that TV, music, and games are destroying todays youth. Just because you blame the parents doesn't mean that the child shouldn't be taking it's responsibilities. It's still the kid doing stupid things.
Janos: But.
Kain: ENOUGH! I'm so sick of people who think it's never the one who commited a crime who's to blame. It's the kids fault.
Janos: We'll see about that (Kicks Kain's ass)
Kain: Okay, you are right, Janos. So I guess you kicked my ass because of your parents treating you badly.
Janos: No, it's frustration caused by the fact that Raziel tore out my heart.
Kain: Don't you think he was treated badly by his parents?
Janos: I don't care. He's still the one who did it.
Kain: uhh.
Janos: Shut up, Kain. You don't know what you're talking about.
Kain walks out. Mortanius is the one to jump out this time.
Mortanius: We must have democracy in Nosgoth or we will decline.
Kain: And what's so special about democracy?
Morty: You get freedom of speech, you can do what you want to do, you have equal rights for everybody, majority decides what is good.
Kain: Let me guess, there's censorship.
Morty: There's some things that shouldn't be said.
Kain: Why claim that you can say what you want to if no one's allowed to hear it? Am I allowed to kill in a democracy?
Morty: No, of course you're not allowed to kill.
Kain: Why does everybody have equal rights? Killers shouldn't have the same rights as others. Rapists shouldn't have the same right as others.
Morty: Everybody deserves a fair treatment.
Kain: As opposed to the way they treated their victims? Majority shouldn't decide what's good or not.
Morty: Over half of the number can't be wrong.
Kain: So it's peer pressure on a larger scale.
Morty: That's square thinking, Kain.
Kain: No, it's brilliant thinking.
Morty: Uhh. (transforms into a huge skeleton with chainsaws for fingers.) ROOOOOOAAAARR!!!!!
Kain: I'm doomed now.
Mortanius is getting near, and the chainsaws are roaring. ******************************************************************** Kain wakes up, sweaty.
Kain: IT BUUUUURNS! Wow, I need a drink.
Kain walks down to the bar. There's the sound of partying coming from it. Kain walks in. Sure enough, there's a party.
Kain: Uhh, why is there a party?
OrpheumZero: Who cares? What you should be concerned with is that there is a party and why you aren't enjoying it.
MortalSora: Yeah, I thought you were a party animal, Kain.
Kain: I am.
Dark-sephy: Then you should get partying. Go buy yourself a drink.
Kain: Concept better not be the bartender.
Psycho-Virus83: What can I get ya?
Kain: A blood Mary.
Psycho-Virus83: Here ya go.
So Kain parties through the night. Suddenly, he's doing the limbo with people such as MikotoTribal, sylvanon the wolf gurl and Kaya De Crystalline.
Sylva: How low can ya go.
Kain does a Matrix move and goes down under the limbo bar.
Orpheum: That's the way it's supposed to be done.
Kain is hanging out with some people in a corner.
Popeland: so Kain, how's the crazyness coming?
Kain: Well, I just had a dream were I had my ass kicked alot. Not that I'm unhappy with it, but why isn't COAD at the party?
MortalSora: He's gone lazy. He doesn't even write his full name anymore.
Popeland: He's talking to the big man right now.
Kain: God?
OrpheumZero: No, he doesn't believe in god.
Kain: Then who is the big man?
MortalSora: No one knows. Not even COAD. It's a random plot twist for now.
Kain: Knowing his imagination, it will probably never be explained.
MikotoTribal: That's probably true.
Kain: Hey, why is Psycho-Virus83 included in this story? She hasn't reviewed it yet.
MikotoTribal: COAD assumes that she hasn't read the story yet. Or that she didn't like it, but wouldn't flame it, either. Besides, he is throwing people in again at random.
Kain: But they have to have reviewed the story?
Orpheumzero: Yep.
MortalSora: Mostly.
COAD walks down from a staircase.
Concept: I figured out who I was talking to.
MikotoTribal: Who was it?
Concept: Satan. I swear, he has to stop talking like a hiphopper or I'll never understand him. "What up, dawg. Hows its chilling, bro." I swear, the next time he calls me "dawg".
Psycho-Virus83: Hey Concept, the usual?
Concept: Yep.
Psycho-Virus83 tosses me a mix between many drinks.
Concept: Ahh, that's the stuff.
Kain: So Concept, why was my dream so odd?
Concept: That happens everytime I talk to Satan.
Kain: Ahh.
OrpheumZero: Well, Kain, the party's about to end. But we're holding one tomorrow. Wanna come?
Kain: Yep. I sure am hungry.
MortalSora: You can drink from the elevator's blood.
Kain: Okay. (walks out to the elevator after having said goodbye to everyone.)
Kain: Nahh, maybe tommorow.
******************************************************************** Hey hey, (page 8) that wasn't so bad, was it? It was? Damn you. What are you saying? "you suck"? Well, in that case, no food for a week. We can consider this a filler episode. I don't know if this was very funny, but you are just gonna have to tell me if it is or not. And yes, 5 reviews. Or more if you have something to say. And constructive critiscism if it's nescescary.
COAD.