Kudos:
Mortalsora: I guess it's not his fault his a dumbass either, huh? Heheh. Well, it did take a lot of time to write intelligent. I probably won't do it again.
Dark-sephy: Hmm, if you found ch 4 funny, we must have very different taste in humour. Oh well. Glad you liked the chibi part.
Sylvanon the wolf gurl: Uhh, congratulations, but you forgot to tell me what you think of the story.
A/N: Wow, people actually liked ch 4. Guess I won't be getting flames because of it, then. Onwards with the story. ******************************************************************
Melchiah is sitting at the kitchen table alone. He's eating chocolate cookies. He is covered in chocolate. (hey, he's a kid, they can't eat properly)
Dumah: A bit hateful, are we, COAD?
COAD: Shut up, Dumah, you dumbass. (I hope Space Toaster doesn't read that.) And besides, Melchiah is alone in the kitchen.
Dumah: But you are here too. How's that better than me?
COAD: I came here to get you out of the kitchen. I had a good reason.
Dumah: Preaching again?
COAD: Damn, you're right. (Snatches Dumah and walks out.)
Melchiah: I love chocolate cookies, they love me, I wanna marry chocolate cookies.
Kain has just walked into the kitchen and he heard this.
Kain: 0_O. What the hell?
Melchiah: Why are you swearing, dad?
Kain: Mel, you are NOT marrying a cookie.
Melchiah: But they are tasty.
Kain: So are cun- (a million different bladed weapons fall on Kain)
Melchiah: So are what, daddy?
Kain: Nothing, nothing. You are not marrying a cookie, Mel. Besides, wouldn't you be eating it? Not much point in marrying it, then.
Melchiah: But then I can inherit from it.
Kain: What would you inherit- oh, screw this, this conversation is getting stupider by the moment. Is Concept drinking alcohol again?
Concept: Last time I drunk alcohol was when I was ten, and that was an accident.
Kain: Well, what are you drinking now?
Concept: Water.
Kain (gets tense): Really?
Concept: Yeah, so no foul language in front of the kids.
Kain: What do you care? You are a selfish asshole.
Concept: I'll get thrown off ff.net for using the word "c'nt".
Kain: Oh, screw this. I'm leaving.
Melchiah: Where are you going, daddy?
Kain: I'm going shopping in the city down the mountain.
Melchiah: Could you buy some COOKIES, daddy?
Kain: O_0. SOMEONE'S been hanging out with Magnus. (Leaves)
********************************************************************
Rahab is walking in the snow.
Rahab: Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's a bunch of birds in the skyyyyyyyyy, aaaaand some deer's just went running by, oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown, just another Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town.
Randy Jackass: Isn't this a mountain only?
Rahab: Shut up, Jackass.
R.J: Noone loves me. (runs off sulking)
Rahab: What an asshole.
Turel: Oh look at Rahab. Singing his heart out.
Dumah: Stupid asscr4ck!
Rahab: Asscr4ck? Is that a new way of censoring? In l33t?
Turel: Appearently.
Dumah: Anyway, we have to kick your ass, Rahab. I hold his arms, and you punch him, Turel.
Turel: Sounds fair.
Rahab: Uhh, why?
Dumah: Because you were singing.
Vampire Raz arrives.
VRaz: Turel, what is the link for that hentai site?
Turel: I'll show ya, bro.
They run off. Rahab and Dumah looks at each other, then Dumah chases after Rahab. But Rahab is too fast for big and bulky Dumah. Should have focused on speed, huh Dumah?
Dumah (crying): Shut up.
******************************************************************** SRRaz is snuggling with Ariel.
SRRaz: You are so beautiful. I love you.
Ariel: Keep going, underling.
SRRaz: Thine eyes are a beauty for all the land.
Ariel: Hey hey, no need to get poetic.
Suddenly, a smell of brimstones is apparent in the air.
SRRaz: Ariel, did you just let one go?
Ariel: Hell no.
Out of a cloud of the brimstone, comes Satan.
Satan: Yo!
SRRaz: Not this again, seriously. Concept, that joke belongs to Mortalsoratm. Not you.
Satan: What up, dawgs.
Ariel: Shut up, you redneck.
Zephon appears out of nowhere.
Zephon: Come on, that joke ain't funny.
Ariel: DIE, UNDERLING. (hurls a huge fireball at Zephon who is promptly incinerated).
SRRaz: Isn't Mysterious Kat gonna fry Concept's ass for killing Zephon?
Concept: She seems to be missing in action, so I can do whatever I want to Zephon.
Vorador pops in.
Vorador: That sounds kinky.
Everybody in the room: SHUT UP, VORADOR!!!
Vorador: Geez, sorry. Next time, I won't try to lighten the mood.
Satan: That's the shizzness, Dawg.
Vorador: What?
Satan: Shizzle ma nizzle.
Vorador: Uhh, right.
********************************************************************
Down at the city, some of Kain's associates have met up with him.
Random vamp: We thought you were gone for good, lord Kain, so we decided to clone you. Allow me to introduce you to him.
A door opens. A shadow exactly like Kain's is seen on the wall.
R.V: He's exactly the same as you. Only smaller. (Kain looks down and sees a small version of him.)
Kain: Excellent. I shall call him.... Mini-me.
R.V: Isn't that ripping off Austin Powers?
Kain: When was this story anything else than a huge and giant ripoff?
R.V: Uhh, never?
Kain: That's right. We are allowed to do this.
******************************************************************** After Kain has gotten home, the whole bunch is eating at a huge table.
Kain: So Hash, kindly refrain from using the chainsaw to hurt yourself again.
Hash: Would you rather have me singing popsongs?
Kain: Can't you just jump in the pool or something?
Hash: You know what, Kain, I think I'll do that.
Umah: Who's the midget?
Moebius: I assure you, I am of perfectly normal size.
Umah: Not you, assface. Kain's midget.
Kain: Allow me to introduce you to..... Minime!
Turel: But... Daddy? What about.... Us?
Kain: You are expendable.
Umah: KAIN! Those are your children, for gods sake!
Kain: God has no say in this.
Umah: Raz, say something to him.
Both Raziels: Which one of us?
Umah: The blue one.
SRRaz: But I don't care.
Umah: Kain, you are sleeping on the couch tonight.
Dumah is trying to lure Minime into his stomach.
Dumah: Ghet in me belley. Come 'ere, bebe.
Kain presses a switch on his armchair. Dumah is catapulted through the roof.
Kain: Excellent. Now, Minime, if he ever gives you trouble again, just do as I told you, okay?
Minime: (nods)
Kain: I wouldn't know how I could live without you. You complete me. I love you.
Vorador: Kain, kindly refrain from doing this at the table.
Kain: You are just jealous.
Vorador: Not likely. (brandishes a mini-Vorador)
Janos: What the hell is that?
Kain: You ripoff, Vorador. I did that first.
Vorador: No, Dr. Evil did that before you. You can't say anything to this.
Kain: I really hate you, Vorador.
********************************************************************
Hey, page 7)
Kain is sitting at the couch. He's wondering how to pass the time. Suddenly he hears sound from the barroom.
Kain: What the hell is this? (Short term memory, huh?)
He walks in to see another party. Mortalsora is holding a limbo iron bar.)
Mortalsora: How low can ya go?
Kain: Oh yeah, party.
His midget is sitting at the bar, drinking a tequila. After he's done, Psycho-virus83 comes over to him.
Psycho: What can I get ya?
Minime (like Ned Gerblansky from South park): Another tequila.
Psycho: Coming right up.
Dark-Sephy: Ya know, I think Kain is starting to lose his marbles badly now.
MikotoTribal: Probably, but you never know. We'll be sure of it, when he starts playing Fallout 2.
Sylvanon: Or Worms 1.
OrpheumZero: Or chasing his family with an axe.
Kain comes over to him.
Kain: Hi, what are you talking about?
Kaya: The new chainsaw you bought.
Kain: What about it?
Mikoto: Is it working well?
Kain: I don't know, I haven't tried it out yet.
OrpheumZero: How's the family doing?
Kain: Well, Umah is dominating, as always.
Mortalsora: Perhaps they need to be "corrected".
Kain: What do you mean, "they"? It's just Umah being dominating.
Kaya: What about Ariel?
Kain: Well, she's just enjoying her omnipotence.
Mortalsora: Kain, you are a demi-god. She's ¼ god. Are you gonna take crap from her?
Kain: You are right. I should do something about it.
Popeland: Yeah, you should.
********************************************************************
Okay, I seriously hope I get more than 3 reviews for this chapter. 5 or more, please.
Rock on.
Mortalsora: I guess it's not his fault his a dumbass either, huh? Heheh. Well, it did take a lot of time to write intelligent. I probably won't do it again.
Dark-sephy: Hmm, if you found ch 4 funny, we must have very different taste in humour. Oh well. Glad you liked the chibi part.
Sylvanon the wolf gurl: Uhh, congratulations, but you forgot to tell me what you think of the story.
A/N: Wow, people actually liked ch 4. Guess I won't be getting flames because of it, then. Onwards with the story. ******************************************************************
Melchiah is sitting at the kitchen table alone. He's eating chocolate cookies. He is covered in chocolate. (hey, he's a kid, they can't eat properly)
Dumah: A bit hateful, are we, COAD?
COAD: Shut up, Dumah, you dumbass. (I hope Space Toaster doesn't read that.) And besides, Melchiah is alone in the kitchen.
Dumah: But you are here too. How's that better than me?
COAD: I came here to get you out of the kitchen. I had a good reason.
Dumah: Preaching again?
COAD: Damn, you're right. (Snatches Dumah and walks out.)
Melchiah: I love chocolate cookies, they love me, I wanna marry chocolate cookies.
Kain has just walked into the kitchen and he heard this.
Kain: 0_O. What the hell?
Melchiah: Why are you swearing, dad?
Kain: Mel, you are NOT marrying a cookie.
Melchiah: But they are tasty.
Kain: So are cun- (a million different bladed weapons fall on Kain)
Melchiah: So are what, daddy?
Kain: Nothing, nothing. You are not marrying a cookie, Mel. Besides, wouldn't you be eating it? Not much point in marrying it, then.
Melchiah: But then I can inherit from it.
Kain: What would you inherit- oh, screw this, this conversation is getting stupider by the moment. Is Concept drinking alcohol again?
Concept: Last time I drunk alcohol was when I was ten, and that was an accident.
Kain: Well, what are you drinking now?
Concept: Water.
Kain (gets tense): Really?
Concept: Yeah, so no foul language in front of the kids.
Kain: What do you care? You are a selfish asshole.
Concept: I'll get thrown off ff.net for using the word "c'nt".
Kain: Oh, screw this. I'm leaving.
Melchiah: Where are you going, daddy?
Kain: I'm going shopping in the city down the mountain.
Melchiah: Could you buy some COOKIES, daddy?
Kain: O_0. SOMEONE'S been hanging out with Magnus. (Leaves)
********************************************************************
Rahab is walking in the snow.
Rahab: Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's a bunch of birds in the skyyyyyyyyy, aaaaand some deer's just went running by, oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown, just another Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town.
Randy Jackass: Isn't this a mountain only?
Rahab: Shut up, Jackass.
R.J: Noone loves me. (runs off sulking)
Rahab: What an asshole.
Turel: Oh look at Rahab. Singing his heart out.
Dumah: Stupid asscr4ck!
Rahab: Asscr4ck? Is that a new way of censoring? In l33t?
Turel: Appearently.
Dumah: Anyway, we have to kick your ass, Rahab. I hold his arms, and you punch him, Turel.
Turel: Sounds fair.
Rahab: Uhh, why?
Dumah: Because you were singing.
Vampire Raz arrives.
VRaz: Turel, what is the link for that hentai site?
Turel: I'll show ya, bro.
They run off. Rahab and Dumah looks at each other, then Dumah chases after Rahab. But Rahab is too fast for big and bulky Dumah. Should have focused on speed, huh Dumah?
Dumah (crying): Shut up.
******************************************************************** SRRaz is snuggling with Ariel.
SRRaz: You are so beautiful. I love you.
Ariel: Keep going, underling.
SRRaz: Thine eyes are a beauty for all the land.
Ariel: Hey hey, no need to get poetic.
Suddenly, a smell of brimstones is apparent in the air.
SRRaz: Ariel, did you just let one go?
Ariel: Hell no.
Out of a cloud of the brimstone, comes Satan.
Satan: Yo!
SRRaz: Not this again, seriously. Concept, that joke belongs to Mortalsoratm. Not you.
Satan: What up, dawgs.
Ariel: Shut up, you redneck.
Zephon appears out of nowhere.
Zephon: Come on, that joke ain't funny.
Ariel: DIE, UNDERLING. (hurls a huge fireball at Zephon who is promptly incinerated).
SRRaz: Isn't Mysterious Kat gonna fry Concept's ass for killing Zephon?
Concept: She seems to be missing in action, so I can do whatever I want to Zephon.
Vorador pops in.
Vorador: That sounds kinky.
Everybody in the room: SHUT UP, VORADOR!!!
Vorador: Geez, sorry. Next time, I won't try to lighten the mood.
Satan: That's the shizzness, Dawg.
Vorador: What?
Satan: Shizzle ma nizzle.
Vorador: Uhh, right.
********************************************************************
Down at the city, some of Kain's associates have met up with him.
Random vamp: We thought you were gone for good, lord Kain, so we decided to clone you. Allow me to introduce you to him.
A door opens. A shadow exactly like Kain's is seen on the wall.
R.V: He's exactly the same as you. Only smaller. (Kain looks down and sees a small version of him.)
Kain: Excellent. I shall call him.... Mini-me.
R.V: Isn't that ripping off Austin Powers?
Kain: When was this story anything else than a huge and giant ripoff?
R.V: Uhh, never?
Kain: That's right. We are allowed to do this.
******************************************************************** After Kain has gotten home, the whole bunch is eating at a huge table.
Kain: So Hash, kindly refrain from using the chainsaw to hurt yourself again.
Hash: Would you rather have me singing popsongs?
Kain: Can't you just jump in the pool or something?
Hash: You know what, Kain, I think I'll do that.
Umah: Who's the midget?
Moebius: I assure you, I am of perfectly normal size.
Umah: Not you, assface. Kain's midget.
Kain: Allow me to introduce you to..... Minime!
Turel: But... Daddy? What about.... Us?
Kain: You are expendable.
Umah: KAIN! Those are your children, for gods sake!
Kain: God has no say in this.
Umah: Raz, say something to him.
Both Raziels: Which one of us?
Umah: The blue one.
SRRaz: But I don't care.
Umah: Kain, you are sleeping on the couch tonight.
Dumah is trying to lure Minime into his stomach.
Dumah: Ghet in me belley. Come 'ere, bebe.
Kain presses a switch on his armchair. Dumah is catapulted through the roof.
Kain: Excellent. Now, Minime, if he ever gives you trouble again, just do as I told you, okay?
Minime: (nods)
Kain: I wouldn't know how I could live without you. You complete me. I love you.
Vorador: Kain, kindly refrain from doing this at the table.
Kain: You are just jealous.
Vorador: Not likely. (brandishes a mini-Vorador)
Janos: What the hell is that?
Kain: You ripoff, Vorador. I did that first.
Vorador: No, Dr. Evil did that before you. You can't say anything to this.
Kain: I really hate you, Vorador.
********************************************************************
Hey, page 7)
Kain is sitting at the couch. He's wondering how to pass the time. Suddenly he hears sound from the barroom.
Kain: What the hell is this? (Short term memory, huh?)
He walks in to see another party. Mortalsora is holding a limbo iron bar.)
Mortalsora: How low can ya go?
Kain: Oh yeah, party.
His midget is sitting at the bar, drinking a tequila. After he's done, Psycho-virus83 comes over to him.
Psycho: What can I get ya?
Minime (like Ned Gerblansky from South park): Another tequila.
Psycho: Coming right up.
Dark-Sephy: Ya know, I think Kain is starting to lose his marbles badly now.
MikotoTribal: Probably, but you never know. We'll be sure of it, when he starts playing Fallout 2.
Sylvanon: Or Worms 1.
OrpheumZero: Or chasing his family with an axe.
Kain comes over to him.
Kain: Hi, what are you talking about?
Kaya: The new chainsaw you bought.
Kain: What about it?
Mikoto: Is it working well?
Kain: I don't know, I haven't tried it out yet.
OrpheumZero: How's the family doing?
Kain: Well, Umah is dominating, as always.
Mortalsora: Perhaps they need to be "corrected".
Kain: What do you mean, "they"? It's just Umah being dominating.
Kaya: What about Ariel?
Kain: Well, she's just enjoying her omnipotence.
Mortalsora: Kain, you are a demi-god. She's ¼ god. Are you gonna take crap from her?
Kain: You are right. I should do something about it.
Popeland: Yeah, you should.
********************************************************************
Okay, I seriously hope I get more than 3 reviews for this chapter. 5 or more, please.
Rock on.