Kudos:
Blood of Angels: Well, read it in small doses then. I don't want my reviewers dying.
Mortalsora: All things have to end eventually. I know about being a Kain fan. I guess we hurt the one's we love. Oh wait..
Mikototribal: Heheh, the fish thing was very random. Well, Moebius gets his butt kicked in this chapter, too, so be happy.
Space Toaster: DEFINITELY a funny sequence in the Simpsons.
Dark-sephy: Yep, he has.
A/N: Due to the fact that I have got Evil Dead 2 on dvd this week (and seen it), we have another Evil Dead 2'eusqe moment. (I probably fucked that sentence up, but what the hell)
Also, more Steelsoul bashing, due to me responding to her in a misanthropic moment.
Also, last chapter of this story. This one, I didn't think I would get done with. Hmm, kind of a hectic story.
Read on.
**************************************************************************** **
In the lobby, Kain is once again walking around, rubbing his hands gleefully.
Kain: ehehhee.... ehehheeeheheheheheheheheehe.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A/N: Psycho!)
Ariel walks around the corner. The 2 look at each other, ready to duel. Hell, let's throw in a dueling theme, too. Kain lunges at Ariel.
**************************************************************************** ***** SRRaz is sitting in a couch. Suddenly, Ariel is crashing through the wall. Kain climbs through the hole.
Kain: You thought yourself a GOD, when in fact you were a disciple.
SRRaz: Ouh?
Kain punches Ariel straight in the face. She goes flying against the wall. She jumps at him, but he simply catches her by the throat, then starts punching her belly with his other hand. She kicks him right in the groin, and nothing happens.
Kain: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO MORE GROIN FUN FOR ARIEL!! (Now that I think about it, that does sound a tad kinky, hmm.)
Ariel: I'll hack you from grotch to gizzard and feed what's left to your bride.
Kain kicks her right in the belly, causing her to double over, then flips his body forwards, instantly kicking her in the back, making her fall over. As she tries to get up, he falls on her, wrestling style. She quickly gets up, but Kains fist flies forward into her chest, making her heave for her breath.
Ariel: He's... Too strong.... (faints)
SRRaz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He starts to punch Kain a lot, ending up with Kain going through the wall.
SRRaz: You hurt my love, Kain. I can never forgive you for this.
To his horror, Kain rises from the broken remains of the wall, unharmed. He's laughing like a madman.
Kain: AAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
He kicks his leg up in an angle of 180 degrees, hitting Raz hard in the head. For some reason, there's an axe on the wall. Raziel tries to grab it, but Kain whacks him aside easily. He takes the axe and Raziel tries to get out of the room, with Ariel on his shoulder.
Kain: YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME, RAZZY! YOU WERE BOUND TO BE DESTROYED BY ME!!!
**************************************************************************** ****
In the kitchen, Umah and everyone else but Kain, are debating.
Umah: So now that Kain has gone psycho...
Vraz: I fail to see the change.
Umah: Okay, that's true, but still. We've got to kill him.
Melchiah: You're gonna hurt daddy?
Zephon: Daddy went psycho.
Dumah: He has to be smashed.
Kain (from downstairs): I CAN HEAR YOU ALL. I'M COMING FOR YOU NOW!
Turel: We have got to get out of here.
Morty: Someone must distract Kain, so the rest can get away. I vote Moebius.
Dumah: Me too.
Turel: Me too.
Rahab: Me too.
Melchiah: Me too.
Umah: Me too.
Magnus: ME TOO!
Sebastian: Me too.
Faustus: Me too.
Marcus: Me too.
Ariel: Me too.
SRRaz: Me too.
Moebius: I vote Umah.
Vorador: Outruled. I vote Moebius, too.
Moebius: But..
At this exact moment, Steelsoul arrives. (and if you're wondering why she's still included, go read chapter 7 again.)
Steelsoul: Moebius, will you marry me?
Moebius: Of course I will, my love. Shall we celebrate this with a glass of "milk"?
Steelsoul: Sure.
The 2 run off.
All: GROSS!!!!
Vorador: Bah. I put a bomb in his room, anyway. I didn't know we would get double bonus, though, what with Steelsoul being inside and all.
At this moment, Moebius' room blows up.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
Kain: I HEARD THAT! TIME FOR SOME MEAT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Magnus: KAIN AND MAGNUS HAS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT. MEAT!!!
Magnus runs off to join Kain in his mad ramblings.
**************************************************************************** **************
In Moebius' room. It will NOT be described.
Moebius: They murdered my dear Steelsoul. (Looks at the ring she gave him) My presciousssssssssssssssssssssssss.
The door flies open.
Kain: IT IS TIME.... FOR MEAT!!!!!!!!
Magnus: MADE OF TIMESTREAMERS.
Moebius: Holy hell.
As Kain and Magnus jumps at Moebius, the camera pans to the wall. Judging by the shadows, he is being mauled heavily right now.
Wrestling commentator 1: Hard headlock by Magnus.
Wrestling commentator 2: He sends The Timestreamer to the corner, where he's being kicked down by Kain.
COAD: Okay, stop this. I don't want wrestling commentators on my story.
Wrestling commentator 2: You're the one writing it. It's your own fault.
COAD: Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. (throws both wrestling commentators into the battle, where they get mauled like Moebius.)
**************************************************************************** ********
Umah: Judging by the screaming from Moebius' room, I'd say we are free of him.
Vorador: Not for sure. He has come back, countless times.
Umah: Oh my god, Kain is gonna kill us all!!! What are we gonna do?
Dramatic theme music plays and lightning strikes in the middle of the room. At the soothing spot, stands Corey in all of his glory. (I didn't mean for it to rhyme, it just happened.)
Corey: What am I doing here?
Ariel: Plot hole. Corey, we need your help.
Corey: What now? Has Lars Ulrich returned?
Umah: Kain's gone crazy!
Corey: .... You're living in the past, you know that?
Umah: He's trying to kill us!
Corey: .... As I said..
Vorador: It doesn't matter. Can you do something about him?
Corey: I'm gonna need a chainsaw for that.
Janos: What about the one you had before?
Corey: Jenny sold it.
Janos: I'm sorry.
Hash: You guys? You do realise that we have one in the garage, right?
**************************************************************************** *******
In the garage.
Corey: Where is it?
Hash: There. (Points to the chainsaw)
Corey: Let's do it.
They start adding iron straps to the chainsaw, effectively attaching it to Corey's stumpy right arm.
Corey: Gnarly, dude!
Morty: If we are quite done messing with the one liners, could we please kill the psycho?
Corey: The dude with the boxers? I'm not going near him again.
Morty (deadpan): Kain.
Corey: I gotta have a double barrelled shotgun.
Hash: We only have a pump-action shotgun.
Vorador: Pump-action?
Corey starts the chainsaw really fast.
Corey: Got something to say, Vorry?
Vorador: No.
Corey: Good.
They saw the barrel of the shotgun off, and Corey is now ready to kick ass.
**************************************************************************** ****
In the living room, Raziel is attending Ariel. Suddenly, Raziel's head is cut clean off, by an axe.
Ariel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Kain: TIME TO DIE, GIRLY-GIRL. HUH?
Kain's head is spontaneously blown apart. The way we want Jehowa's witnesses heads to blow up. Corey reloads the shotgun. Kain regrows his head.
Kain: YOU CAN'T KILL ME, CAUSE I'M ALREADY INSIDE YOU.
Corey: Shut your ass.
Kain: HUH?
Corey: It means, you have to shut the hell up.
Kain: Shouldn't you be telling me to shut my MOUTH, then?
Corey: Well, the same amount of shit goes through both ends, so I don't really know..
Kain: Damn! (runs off) I SMELL AN UMAH!!!!!!!
Corey: Where are the rest of the psychos?
Hash: they are hiding upstairs.
Corey: Guess he WILL say "here's johnny" then.
**************************************************************************** *****
A door is hacked apart.
Kain: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
Morty: I wonder how I got up here?
Kain: BLARHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WHERE'S THE REST?
Morty: You really think I'm gonna tell you that?
Kain: BONEFACE WILL TELL, UNLESS I'LL RING HIS BELLS!
Morty (scared): They are upstairs.
Kain (fading into the distance): THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....
**************************************************************************** ************
Kain: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S DANNY!
Kain: DAVID LETTERMAN.
**************************************************************************** ***********
Kain: JAY LENO!
**************************************************************************** ************
Kain: JERRY SPRINGER.
Umah: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHG! He found us.
Kain: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE NOW, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! GHMP! (Corey's shotgun is inserted in Kain's mouth)
Corey: The ultimate bl0w-job! (BOOM!)
Kain regrows his head again.
Corey: Damnit, does he never die? Seriously! (reloads the shotguhn)
Vraz: Watch out, Corey, he's 9/10 god now.
Corey: Doesn't matter. I'll still kick his ass 3 times before he hit the ground.
Kain jumps at Corey, but gets his legs taken off by a swipe with the chainsaw. After the legs have regrown, Kain kicks Corey in the stomach, causing him to double over. Corey uppercuts Kain with the chainsaw, sawing his front side up. Kain backhands Corey. Corey quickly gets behind him, and blows the backside of his head off with the shotgun.
Corey: The new and improved boomstick. Now holds 6 shells, making sure you will never run out of ass kicking material at the wrong time, unless you're a dumbass.
Kain slowly gets up.
Kain: YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME, CRAP-KID!
Corey: Considering your head is so far up your ass, I have a little something to tell you. SHITFACE!
Kain. YOUR ONE-LINERS ARE GETTING WORSE AND WORSE.
Corey: At least I don't have to compensate by using big words.
Dumah (groans): here comes the puns!
Dumah gets hit by a stray shotgun blast, sending him flying into a wall.
Umah: Damnit, Corey, are you trying to kill Kain, or are you just being a madman?
Corey: I've been struck by lightning, sent here to battle psychos, when I could be making out with Jenny. Do you really think I care about you? I just wanna kill something.
Kain hits Corey in the back of the head, but Corey jabs at his spine three times. Kain transforms into a wolf at this time. He howls at a moon, existing only in his twisted mind. He jumps at Corey, but gets show down, while in mid- air. He falls flat on the ground.
Corey: Good dog. Play dead.
Umah: I don't think he's dead yet.
Corey throws him in the fire place.
Kain: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR, COREY? Corey? What the hell are you doing here anyway?
Corey: You had gone psycho. Are you still insane?
Kain: In what way?
Corey: Do you have the urge to kill something for no good reason?
Kain: Always!
Corey: He's back to normal.
All: YAY!
Magnus: I WANT MY MEAT!
Corey: I gotta do it right this time. "Clatuu Verata Nictuu." (is hurled home to England)
Umah: Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Zephon: Hell no! Corey kicks ass.
Janos: Yeah, he does. Now let's get out of this hell hole.
Kain: I need a beer first.
All: HELL NO!
Umah: We're going now, Kain.
Kain: But...
Umah: NOW!
Kain: 0_o! Okay.
Steelsoul walks into the room, armed with a flame-thrower.
Steelsoul: Now that the badass kid has left the building, I'll take over.
Lightning strikes, and who appears, but Ash. (A/N: the king of badasses) Steelsoul loses arms, head, legs and her torso gets blown to pieces. But even though her working is futile, she still keeps going. Kain finally picks up the flame-thrower.
Kain: BURN, BABY, BURN!
Steelsoul burns. This would be a great time to add petroleum.
Steelsoul: IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS! (dies)
Melchiah: Can we go home now, dad?
Kain: Yes, Melchiah, we can.
SRRaz: Are you sure we don't have to pack first?
Ariel: Do that for us, underling.
SRRaz: yes, my goddess.
Turel: coughslavecough.
Suddenly, Nupraptor appears.
Nuppy: Damnit, I should have been here to save you all from Kain.
Kain sneaks up on him with a huge axe. Then, chops him in the back.
Kain: Just die, asshole.
So once the working boy (AKA SRRaz) has packed everything, they leave in the car.
Vorador: It's kinda cramped, Concept.
DAMNIT!
**************************************************************************** ********
Okay, that's it. The story's done. Hmm, I feel kind of depressed. Must be the fact that I'm out of ideas, therefore not knowing how to continue it.
The series won't continue, until I know what the hell to write about. That means: Give me suggestions. And even with suggestions, NOTHING'S gonna happen, until I get at least 5 reviews for this one.
And flamers must go to heaven, so I don't have to deal with them, once I die.
Hmm, I sound kind of pissed off, don't I? I'm not. Just thought I'd let you know.
Credits roll. The song, Moonlight shadow. It has nothing to do with the story, but I really like this song.
The last that ever she saw him,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
He passed on worried and warning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a riddle that Saturday night,
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight
And she couldn't find how to push through. The trees that whisper in the evening,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun,
Far away on the other side.
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn't find how to push through.
I stay, I pray
See you in heaven far away.
I stay, I pray
See you in heaven one day. Four a.m. in the morning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
I watched your vision forming,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Stars roll slowly in a silvery night,
Far away on the other side.
Will you come to terms with me this night,
But she couldn't find how to push through.
Far away on the other side. Caught in the middle of a hundred and five.
The night was heavy and the air was alive,
But she couldn't find how to push through. Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Far away on the other side.
But she couldn't find how to push through.
**************************************************************************** ************
In the lobby of the hotel, an arm rises out of the pebbles. Moebius rises to his feet, face looking like a pizza.
Moebius: I'll never die! Yay!
A nuclear bomb is dropped at him. Not enough to kill him, you say? 10 more bombs.
THE END.
Blood of Angels: Well, read it in small doses then. I don't want my reviewers dying.
Mortalsora: All things have to end eventually. I know about being a Kain fan. I guess we hurt the one's we love. Oh wait..
Mikototribal: Heheh, the fish thing was very random. Well, Moebius gets his butt kicked in this chapter, too, so be happy.
Space Toaster: DEFINITELY a funny sequence in the Simpsons.
Dark-sephy: Yep, he has.
A/N: Due to the fact that I have got Evil Dead 2 on dvd this week (and seen it), we have another Evil Dead 2'eusqe moment. (I probably fucked that sentence up, but what the hell)
Also, more Steelsoul bashing, due to me responding to her in a misanthropic moment.
Also, last chapter of this story. This one, I didn't think I would get done with. Hmm, kind of a hectic story.
Read on.
**************************************************************************** **
In the lobby, Kain is once again walking around, rubbing his hands gleefully.
Kain: ehehhee.... ehehheeeheheheheheheheheehe.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A/N: Psycho!)
Ariel walks around the corner. The 2 look at each other, ready to duel. Hell, let's throw in a dueling theme, too. Kain lunges at Ariel.
**************************************************************************** ***** SRRaz is sitting in a couch. Suddenly, Ariel is crashing through the wall. Kain climbs through the hole.
Kain: You thought yourself a GOD, when in fact you were a disciple.
SRRaz: Ouh?
Kain punches Ariel straight in the face. She goes flying against the wall. She jumps at him, but he simply catches her by the throat, then starts punching her belly with his other hand. She kicks him right in the groin, and nothing happens.
Kain: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO MORE GROIN FUN FOR ARIEL!! (Now that I think about it, that does sound a tad kinky, hmm.)
Ariel: I'll hack you from grotch to gizzard and feed what's left to your bride.
Kain kicks her right in the belly, causing her to double over, then flips his body forwards, instantly kicking her in the back, making her fall over. As she tries to get up, he falls on her, wrestling style. She quickly gets up, but Kains fist flies forward into her chest, making her heave for her breath.
Ariel: He's... Too strong.... (faints)
SRRaz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He starts to punch Kain a lot, ending up with Kain going through the wall.
SRRaz: You hurt my love, Kain. I can never forgive you for this.
To his horror, Kain rises from the broken remains of the wall, unharmed. He's laughing like a madman.
Kain: AAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
He kicks his leg up in an angle of 180 degrees, hitting Raz hard in the head. For some reason, there's an axe on the wall. Raziel tries to grab it, but Kain whacks him aside easily. He takes the axe and Raziel tries to get out of the room, with Ariel on his shoulder.
Kain: YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME, RAZZY! YOU WERE BOUND TO BE DESTROYED BY ME!!!
**************************************************************************** ****
In the kitchen, Umah and everyone else but Kain, are debating.
Umah: So now that Kain has gone psycho...
Vraz: I fail to see the change.
Umah: Okay, that's true, but still. We've got to kill him.
Melchiah: You're gonna hurt daddy?
Zephon: Daddy went psycho.
Dumah: He has to be smashed.
Kain (from downstairs): I CAN HEAR YOU ALL. I'M COMING FOR YOU NOW!
Turel: We have got to get out of here.
Morty: Someone must distract Kain, so the rest can get away. I vote Moebius.
Dumah: Me too.
Turel: Me too.
Rahab: Me too.
Melchiah: Me too.
Umah: Me too.
Magnus: ME TOO!
Sebastian: Me too.
Faustus: Me too.
Marcus: Me too.
Ariel: Me too.
SRRaz: Me too.
Moebius: I vote Umah.
Vorador: Outruled. I vote Moebius, too.
Moebius: But..
At this exact moment, Steelsoul arrives. (and if you're wondering why she's still included, go read chapter 7 again.)
Steelsoul: Moebius, will you marry me?
Moebius: Of course I will, my love. Shall we celebrate this with a glass of "milk"?
Steelsoul: Sure.
The 2 run off.
All: GROSS!!!!
Vorador: Bah. I put a bomb in his room, anyway. I didn't know we would get double bonus, though, what with Steelsoul being inside and all.
At this moment, Moebius' room blows up.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
Kain: I HEARD THAT! TIME FOR SOME MEAT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Magnus: KAIN AND MAGNUS HAS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT. MEAT!!!
Magnus runs off to join Kain in his mad ramblings.
**************************************************************************** **************
In Moebius' room. It will NOT be described.
Moebius: They murdered my dear Steelsoul. (Looks at the ring she gave him) My presciousssssssssssssssssssssssss.
The door flies open.
Kain: IT IS TIME.... FOR MEAT!!!!!!!!
Magnus: MADE OF TIMESTREAMERS.
Moebius: Holy hell.
As Kain and Magnus jumps at Moebius, the camera pans to the wall. Judging by the shadows, he is being mauled heavily right now.
Wrestling commentator 1: Hard headlock by Magnus.
Wrestling commentator 2: He sends The Timestreamer to the corner, where he's being kicked down by Kain.
COAD: Okay, stop this. I don't want wrestling commentators on my story.
Wrestling commentator 2: You're the one writing it. It's your own fault.
COAD: Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. (throws both wrestling commentators into the battle, where they get mauled like Moebius.)
**************************************************************************** ********
Umah: Judging by the screaming from Moebius' room, I'd say we are free of him.
Vorador: Not for sure. He has come back, countless times.
Umah: Oh my god, Kain is gonna kill us all!!! What are we gonna do?
Dramatic theme music plays and lightning strikes in the middle of the room. At the soothing spot, stands Corey in all of his glory. (I didn't mean for it to rhyme, it just happened.)
Corey: What am I doing here?
Ariel: Plot hole. Corey, we need your help.
Corey: What now? Has Lars Ulrich returned?
Umah: Kain's gone crazy!
Corey: .... You're living in the past, you know that?
Umah: He's trying to kill us!
Corey: .... As I said..
Vorador: It doesn't matter. Can you do something about him?
Corey: I'm gonna need a chainsaw for that.
Janos: What about the one you had before?
Corey: Jenny sold it.
Janos: I'm sorry.
Hash: You guys? You do realise that we have one in the garage, right?
**************************************************************************** *******
In the garage.
Corey: Where is it?
Hash: There. (Points to the chainsaw)
Corey: Let's do it.
They start adding iron straps to the chainsaw, effectively attaching it to Corey's stumpy right arm.
Corey: Gnarly, dude!
Morty: If we are quite done messing with the one liners, could we please kill the psycho?
Corey: The dude with the boxers? I'm not going near him again.
Morty (deadpan): Kain.
Corey: I gotta have a double barrelled shotgun.
Hash: We only have a pump-action shotgun.
Vorador: Pump-action?
Corey starts the chainsaw really fast.
Corey: Got something to say, Vorry?
Vorador: No.
Corey: Good.
They saw the barrel of the shotgun off, and Corey is now ready to kick ass.
**************************************************************************** ****
In the living room, Raziel is attending Ariel. Suddenly, Raziel's head is cut clean off, by an axe.
Ariel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Kain: TIME TO DIE, GIRLY-GIRL. HUH?
Kain's head is spontaneously blown apart. The way we want Jehowa's witnesses heads to blow up. Corey reloads the shotgun. Kain regrows his head.
Kain: YOU CAN'T KILL ME, CAUSE I'M ALREADY INSIDE YOU.
Corey: Shut your ass.
Kain: HUH?
Corey: It means, you have to shut the hell up.
Kain: Shouldn't you be telling me to shut my MOUTH, then?
Corey: Well, the same amount of shit goes through both ends, so I don't really know..
Kain: Damn! (runs off) I SMELL AN UMAH!!!!!!!
Corey: Where are the rest of the psychos?
Hash: they are hiding upstairs.
Corey: Guess he WILL say "here's johnny" then.
**************************************************************************** *****
A door is hacked apart.
Kain: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
Morty: I wonder how I got up here?
Kain: BLARHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WHERE'S THE REST?
Morty: You really think I'm gonna tell you that?
Kain: BONEFACE WILL TELL, UNLESS I'LL RING HIS BELLS!
Morty (scared): They are upstairs.
Kain (fading into the distance): THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....
**************************************************************************** ************
Kain: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S DANNY!
Kain: DAVID LETTERMAN.
**************************************************************************** ***********
Kain: JAY LENO!
**************************************************************************** ************
Kain: JERRY SPRINGER.
Umah: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHG! He found us.
Kain: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE NOW, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! GHMP! (Corey's shotgun is inserted in Kain's mouth)
Corey: The ultimate bl0w-job! (BOOM!)
Kain regrows his head again.
Corey: Damnit, does he never die? Seriously! (reloads the shotguhn)
Vraz: Watch out, Corey, he's 9/10 god now.
Corey: Doesn't matter. I'll still kick his ass 3 times before he hit the ground.
Kain jumps at Corey, but gets his legs taken off by a swipe with the chainsaw. After the legs have regrown, Kain kicks Corey in the stomach, causing him to double over. Corey uppercuts Kain with the chainsaw, sawing his front side up. Kain backhands Corey. Corey quickly gets behind him, and blows the backside of his head off with the shotgun.
Corey: The new and improved boomstick. Now holds 6 shells, making sure you will never run out of ass kicking material at the wrong time, unless you're a dumbass.
Kain slowly gets up.
Kain: YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME, CRAP-KID!
Corey: Considering your head is so far up your ass, I have a little something to tell you. SHITFACE!
Kain. YOUR ONE-LINERS ARE GETTING WORSE AND WORSE.
Corey: At least I don't have to compensate by using big words.
Dumah (groans): here comes the puns!
Dumah gets hit by a stray shotgun blast, sending him flying into a wall.
Umah: Damnit, Corey, are you trying to kill Kain, or are you just being a madman?
Corey: I've been struck by lightning, sent here to battle psychos, when I could be making out with Jenny. Do you really think I care about you? I just wanna kill something.
Kain hits Corey in the back of the head, but Corey jabs at his spine three times. Kain transforms into a wolf at this time. He howls at a moon, existing only in his twisted mind. He jumps at Corey, but gets show down, while in mid- air. He falls flat on the ground.
Corey: Good dog. Play dead.
Umah: I don't think he's dead yet.
Corey throws him in the fire place.
Kain: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR, COREY? Corey? What the hell are you doing here anyway?
Corey: You had gone psycho. Are you still insane?
Kain: In what way?
Corey: Do you have the urge to kill something for no good reason?
Kain: Always!
Corey: He's back to normal.
All: YAY!
Magnus: I WANT MY MEAT!
Corey: I gotta do it right this time. "Clatuu Verata Nictuu." (is hurled home to England)
Umah: Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Zephon: Hell no! Corey kicks ass.
Janos: Yeah, he does. Now let's get out of this hell hole.
Kain: I need a beer first.
All: HELL NO!
Umah: We're going now, Kain.
Kain: But...
Umah: NOW!
Kain: 0_o! Okay.
Steelsoul walks into the room, armed with a flame-thrower.
Steelsoul: Now that the badass kid has left the building, I'll take over.
Lightning strikes, and who appears, but Ash. (A/N: the king of badasses) Steelsoul loses arms, head, legs and her torso gets blown to pieces. But even though her working is futile, she still keeps going. Kain finally picks up the flame-thrower.
Kain: BURN, BABY, BURN!
Steelsoul burns. This would be a great time to add petroleum.
Steelsoul: IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS! (dies)
Melchiah: Can we go home now, dad?
Kain: Yes, Melchiah, we can.
SRRaz: Are you sure we don't have to pack first?
Ariel: Do that for us, underling.
SRRaz: yes, my goddess.
Turel: coughslavecough.
Suddenly, Nupraptor appears.
Nuppy: Damnit, I should have been here to save you all from Kain.
Kain sneaks up on him with a huge axe. Then, chops him in the back.
Kain: Just die, asshole.
So once the working boy (AKA SRRaz) has packed everything, they leave in the car.
Vorador: It's kinda cramped, Concept.
DAMNIT!
**************************************************************************** ********
Okay, that's it. The story's done. Hmm, I feel kind of depressed. Must be the fact that I'm out of ideas, therefore not knowing how to continue it.
The series won't continue, until I know what the hell to write about. That means: Give me suggestions. And even with suggestions, NOTHING'S gonna happen, until I get at least 5 reviews for this one.
And flamers must go to heaven, so I don't have to deal with them, once I die.
Hmm, I sound kind of pissed off, don't I? I'm not. Just thought I'd let you know.
Credits roll. The song, Moonlight shadow. It has nothing to do with the story, but I really like this song.
The last that ever she saw him,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
He passed on worried and warning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a riddle that Saturday night,
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight
And she couldn't find how to push through. The trees that whisper in the evening,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun,
Far away on the other side.
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn't find how to push through.
I stay, I pray
See you in heaven far away.
I stay, I pray
See you in heaven one day. Four a.m. in the morning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
I watched your vision forming,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Stars roll slowly in a silvery night,
Far away on the other side.
Will you come to terms with me this night,
But she couldn't find how to push through.
Far away on the other side. Caught in the middle of a hundred and five.
The night was heavy and the air was alive,
But she couldn't find how to push through. Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Far away on the other side.
But she couldn't find how to push through.
**************************************************************************** ************
In the lobby of the hotel, an arm rises out of the pebbles. Moebius rises to his feet, face looking like a pizza.
Moebius: I'll never die! Yay!
A nuclear bomb is dropped at him. Not enough to kill him, you say? 10 more bombs.
THE END.