A/N: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing.
A "*" Indicates thoughts
Rude Awakenings: Chapter Two - I Was Sinking Fast In All That Might Have Been
******************************************************
"Damn...what about the plane crash?" Duo asked to Reigen, the girl sitting next to him.
"It went down earlier this morning. No survivors..." she replied, staring at the television without blinking.
"Wow...which flight was that?"
"It was flight 144 from Los Angelas to New York..."
"Oh no..." Duo said, dropping his spoon into his bowl, half-full with cereal.
"Duo...it's okay..." Reigen said as she scooted closer to Duo and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Maybe...maybe they just haven't looked good enough yet...maybe someone will come up pretty soon..."
Duo couldn't talk. He could just cry.
*I don't want your help, Reigen...I just need to find my friends...*
Duo broke away from her embrace and walked outside, into the crisp, cold evening wind. It was the middle of January, and his godparents were coming to visit him this month, when he heard about the plane crash that took place.
*It can't be real...it just CAN'T be...*
"Duo!" cried a man about forty feet away from him, standing just outside of a shop, sweeping the front ground off.
"He-hey, Rama!" Duo shouted back in laughter, running across the road to meet up with his friend.
"How ya doing?"
"Uhh...well, Naomi and Graik won't be here after all..."
"Why? What happened?"
"Their flight was found early this morning...it...it crashed..." Duo said, an uneasy voice as he choked back tears.
*Don't cry...you can't cry...*
"I'm so sorry, Duo..." Rama said, embracing his friend. Rama knew that though he was only seventeen, he had already went through so many horrible things in his life.
"It's fine...but if you're looking to help me, you can get me a cup of your hot chocolate?"
"Anytime, hon," Rama said and took his friend into the cafe. "Do you want marshmellows in it?"
"No, plain is fine..." Duo said, and scammed the room. There were so many happy people in there, laughing with their friends or family. Duo felt like this a lot. Alone.
*You're supposed to be alone...you're expected to be alone, because nobody wants you! You're a stupid, worthless...*
"Are you sure you don't want marshmellows?" Rama asked with a warm smile, interrupting Duo's thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm sure..."
"Alright...call me if you need anything..."
"Yeah...I will..."
Duo began sipping on his hot chocolate when a familiar hand rested on his shoulder.
"Got a minute?" Reigen said, with a grin.
"Yeah...why'd you follow me?"
"Because, you can't be alone right now...I don't trust you alone..."
"Why not?"
"Because...Duo, last time you said you needed some time for yourself, I got a call the next morning from the police, saying you were arrested for trying to break someone out of jail!"
"It wasn't just 'someone'...it was my friend. And that happened two summers ago, so lay off!" Duo snapped at her.
"I'm sorry, Duo, but I care about you...I've left you alone too many times to repeat the same mistake...the last time I left you alone, you were caught trying to kill yourself..."
"I was just slicing my wrists, and it helps to numb all other pain, so leave me alone...Reigen, if I wanted your help, I'd say...you can't expect to sit down with me and make me all better..."
"Duo, I know...I just...the last time I let you have some space, you ended up in the hospital because you had been raped..."
"Did you not hear me, Reigen!? I said LAY OFF!!" Duo shouted, and walked out of the cafe.
*Look what you did, dumbass...you made your only friend abandon you. Not like she really cared...*
"Hey, Duo...what're you up to?" asked a girl named Ariga, who had lived next door to him since he moved to New York.
"Not much...just thinking..."
"Yeah...I'm sorry about you're godparents...I heard about the crash..."
"Yeah, well, what can ya do, ya know?"
"Duo...just to let you know, I'm here for you, if you need. My dad is doing a memorial tonight at the church for the crash...wanna come?"
"Naw...I just wanna be alone."
"You're never alone, Duo...God is always there for you."
"Well tell that nosy bastard to mind his own business!"
"Duo!!" she said with a frown as Duo turned and started walking down a dark alley.
*Stupid girl...why does she wanna talk to YOU? You're just trash. That's all you will be...*
He slipped down to a seating position against a stone wall at the end of the alley. He remembered what had happened here two summers ago, on that stormy summer night.
*Yeah, go on, torture yourself with that memory...doesn't it feel good to hurt, Duo?*
"No..." he whispered to himself. "It feels horrible..."
*No it doesn't...remember back when you and the blade were friends? Didn't you feel better then? More secure...?*
"No...don't talk to me...stop it!" he shouted in defense of himself. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of cloth. Inside the cloth was a small razor. He pulled the razor out of the cloth and grinned at it.
*Go on, Duo...remind yourself of how it feels...*
Duo rolled up a sleeve of his jacket, and made a thin cut across his wrist. He smiled in whole satisfaction as the blood came out, staining the white snow. He sat there in awe, watching it bleed. He then placed the razor back in the cloth and put it deep into his pocket.
*Is that all you have?*
"Yes...It hurts too much to continue..."
*Are you SURE?*
"No..." he said, again pulling out the blade, and making three more thin slices. He smiled widely as the blood flowed out. This was why he wasn't to be left alone, but also why he wanted to be alone. He sat there, until being interrupted.
"Duo..." a man said. He looked about fourty-five, he had dark hair and rough skin. He looked really tough.
"What do you want, Joe?"
"I want you, Duo...Again."
Duo sat there for a moment. He remembered all to well the thing that happened two summers ago. He shook his head, trying to erase the memory.
*You'll always remember, idiot...stop trying not to...*
"You're an idiot if you try to defend yourself..." Joe replied, slinking down to Duo's height from sitting down.
"I'm not an idiot..." he replied, not looking up.
*Yes you are, Duo...you're a total and complete idiot...*
"Ahhh...Duo cut himself once more, did he?" asked Joe with a pleased smile.
"Yes...I did...but please, don't--" Duo was cut off when Joe firmly grabbed his bleeding arm and forced his fingers into the gashes.
"Stop it!!" cried Duo in pain, before falling unconscious and being carried away by the large man.
*Duo...remember. Remember what happened last time...*
A "*" Indicates thoughts
Rude Awakenings: Chapter Two - I Was Sinking Fast In All That Might Have Been
******************************************************
"Damn...what about the plane crash?" Duo asked to Reigen, the girl sitting next to him.
"It went down earlier this morning. No survivors..." she replied, staring at the television without blinking.
"Wow...which flight was that?"
"It was flight 144 from Los Angelas to New York..."
"Oh no..." Duo said, dropping his spoon into his bowl, half-full with cereal.
"Duo...it's okay..." Reigen said as she scooted closer to Duo and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Maybe...maybe they just haven't looked good enough yet...maybe someone will come up pretty soon..."
Duo couldn't talk. He could just cry.
*I don't want your help, Reigen...I just need to find my friends...*
Duo broke away from her embrace and walked outside, into the crisp, cold evening wind. It was the middle of January, and his godparents were coming to visit him this month, when he heard about the plane crash that took place.
*It can't be real...it just CAN'T be...*
"Duo!" cried a man about forty feet away from him, standing just outside of a shop, sweeping the front ground off.
"He-hey, Rama!" Duo shouted back in laughter, running across the road to meet up with his friend.
"How ya doing?"
"Uhh...well, Naomi and Graik won't be here after all..."
"Why? What happened?"
"Their flight was found early this morning...it...it crashed..." Duo said, an uneasy voice as he choked back tears.
*Don't cry...you can't cry...*
"I'm so sorry, Duo..." Rama said, embracing his friend. Rama knew that though he was only seventeen, he had already went through so many horrible things in his life.
"It's fine...but if you're looking to help me, you can get me a cup of your hot chocolate?"
"Anytime, hon," Rama said and took his friend into the cafe. "Do you want marshmellows in it?"
"No, plain is fine..." Duo said, and scammed the room. There were so many happy people in there, laughing with their friends or family. Duo felt like this a lot. Alone.
*You're supposed to be alone...you're expected to be alone, because nobody wants you! You're a stupid, worthless...*
"Are you sure you don't want marshmellows?" Rama asked with a warm smile, interrupting Duo's thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm sure..."
"Alright...call me if you need anything..."
"Yeah...I will..."
Duo began sipping on his hot chocolate when a familiar hand rested on his shoulder.
"Got a minute?" Reigen said, with a grin.
"Yeah...why'd you follow me?"
"Because, you can't be alone right now...I don't trust you alone..."
"Why not?"
"Because...Duo, last time you said you needed some time for yourself, I got a call the next morning from the police, saying you were arrested for trying to break someone out of jail!"
"It wasn't just 'someone'...it was my friend. And that happened two summers ago, so lay off!" Duo snapped at her.
"I'm sorry, Duo, but I care about you...I've left you alone too many times to repeat the same mistake...the last time I left you alone, you were caught trying to kill yourself..."
"I was just slicing my wrists, and it helps to numb all other pain, so leave me alone...Reigen, if I wanted your help, I'd say...you can't expect to sit down with me and make me all better..."
"Duo, I know...I just...the last time I let you have some space, you ended up in the hospital because you had been raped..."
"Did you not hear me, Reigen!? I said LAY OFF!!" Duo shouted, and walked out of the cafe.
*Look what you did, dumbass...you made your only friend abandon you. Not like she really cared...*
"Hey, Duo...what're you up to?" asked a girl named Ariga, who had lived next door to him since he moved to New York.
"Not much...just thinking..."
"Yeah...I'm sorry about you're godparents...I heard about the crash..."
"Yeah, well, what can ya do, ya know?"
"Duo...just to let you know, I'm here for you, if you need. My dad is doing a memorial tonight at the church for the crash...wanna come?"
"Naw...I just wanna be alone."
"You're never alone, Duo...God is always there for you."
"Well tell that nosy bastard to mind his own business!"
"Duo!!" she said with a frown as Duo turned and started walking down a dark alley.
*Stupid girl...why does she wanna talk to YOU? You're just trash. That's all you will be...*
He slipped down to a seating position against a stone wall at the end of the alley. He remembered what had happened here two summers ago, on that stormy summer night.
*Yeah, go on, torture yourself with that memory...doesn't it feel good to hurt, Duo?*
"No..." he whispered to himself. "It feels horrible..."
*No it doesn't...remember back when you and the blade were friends? Didn't you feel better then? More secure...?*
"No...don't talk to me...stop it!" he shouted in defense of himself. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of cloth. Inside the cloth was a small razor. He pulled the razor out of the cloth and grinned at it.
*Go on, Duo...remind yourself of how it feels...*
Duo rolled up a sleeve of his jacket, and made a thin cut across his wrist. He smiled in whole satisfaction as the blood came out, staining the white snow. He sat there in awe, watching it bleed. He then placed the razor back in the cloth and put it deep into his pocket.
*Is that all you have?*
"Yes...It hurts too much to continue..."
*Are you SURE?*
"No..." he said, again pulling out the blade, and making three more thin slices. He smiled widely as the blood flowed out. This was why he wasn't to be left alone, but also why he wanted to be alone. He sat there, until being interrupted.
"Duo..." a man said. He looked about fourty-five, he had dark hair and rough skin. He looked really tough.
"What do you want, Joe?"
"I want you, Duo...Again."
Duo sat there for a moment. He remembered all to well the thing that happened two summers ago. He shook his head, trying to erase the memory.
*You'll always remember, idiot...stop trying not to...*
"You're an idiot if you try to defend yourself..." Joe replied, slinking down to Duo's height from sitting down.
"I'm not an idiot..." he replied, not looking up.
*Yes you are, Duo...you're a total and complete idiot...*
"Ahhh...Duo cut himself once more, did he?" asked Joe with a pleased smile.
"Yes...I did...but please, don't--" Duo was cut off when Joe firmly grabbed his bleeding arm and forced his fingers into the gashes.
"Stop it!!" cried Duo in pain, before falling unconscious and being carried away by the large man.
*Duo...remember. Remember what happened last time...*